If I were married, i'd wear a wedding ring and ideally i'd like my husband to wear one. That doesn't mean i'd make my husband wear one or have a little huff if he didn't. If he chose to or his job dictated or whatever, he could go without. Afterall, it'll be my bed he gets into at night, my face he kisses when he says "I do", our children and my hand he holds as we grow old together.... I don't need a ring of metal to know he's my husband and we're devoted to each other.
Marriage is much more than a piece of paper or a ring on your finger. It's love, friendship, respect and honour... things that no amount of money can buy
Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
I disagree. I think it would be a lot easier for a girl to decide to hook up with a guy who does not have a wedding ring on (and guys know this). Going one step further, I think it would be a lot more likely for a girl to approach/flirt with a guy without a wedding ring (and guys know this). Does that mean the guy needs to respond? Absolutely not. However, it may be his intention to get hit on or to make it easier to flirt. It's a generalization. This does not mean your husband does this.
I know first hand that my wife's single girlfriends always look for a ring on guys that they think are attractive. Some of these girls will approach these guys too (if the guy has no ring and they have had a few too many and built up some liquid courage).
If I know this, other guys know this, including cheat-on-the-wife a-hole guys.
when they reach a certain age (probably the same age when someone being married is relevant concern), the chance that ANY woman is going to hook up with a guy she just met in a bar, ring or no, diminishes greatly. Hopefully if a guy isn't a wearing a ring, there's more time to investigate whether he's married or not.
the bottom line is that without a ring, you can't be sure if someone you don't know is in a relationship. I don't think that should bar people from ever "approaching" someone to say hi. if they're in a relationship, they'll tell you, and if they don't that's the only part where the problems arise. Besides I don't think there's anything different about approaching a guy who's married who's not wearing vs. a guy in a serious relationship who wouldn't be wearing a ring. either way they're off the market, so what's your point?
I disagree. I think it would be a lot easier for a girl to decide to hook up with a guy who does not have a wedding ring on (and guys know this). Going one step further, I think it would be a lot more likely for a girl to approach/flirt with a guy without a wedding ring (and guys know this). Does that mean the guy needs to respond? Absolutely not. However, it may be his intention to get hit on or to make it easier to flirt. It's a generalization. This does not mean your husband does this.
I know first hand that my wife's single girlfriends always look for a ring on guys that they think are attractive. Some of these girls will approach these guys too (if the guy has no ring and they have had a few too many and built up some liquid courage).
If I know this, other guys know this, including cheat-on-the-wife a-hole guys.
I think we all know the answer why someone would not want to wear a ring.
as if your foregone conclusion is the ONLY reason one would not wear a ring. and i say bullshit. is it A reason? sure, you bet. but i would say MORE don't wear a ring sinmply b/c they don't like to wear jewelry, feel no need for a symbol, etc...than b/c they are looking to flirt and/or cheat. that's all. men AND women both cheat, or don't...and both wear rings, or not. in fact, i know many, many women who do not wear wedding bands either. there are a multitude of reasons for this beyond simply the possibility of cheating. THAT is what i called BS. like most things, lots of reasons out there.
as if your foregone conclusion is the ONLY reason one would not wear a ring. and i say bullshit. is it A reason? sure, you bet. but i would say MORE don't wear a ring sinmply b/c they don't like to wear jewelry, feel no need for a symbol, etc...than b/c they are looking to flirt and/or cheat. that's all. men AND women both cheat, or don't...and both wear rings, or not. in fact, i know many, many women who do not wear wedding bands either. there are a multitude of reasons for this beyond simply the possibility of cheating. THAT is what i called BS. like most things, lots of reasons out there.
I understand that there may be allergies or someone may work in a factory... IMHO these are very very understable reasons. But, to say, I just don't like to wear it (when your wife is).... seems pretty weak to me. It takes a bit of time to get use to, but I don't even know I have it on anymore. I'm not advocating forcing your partner to do anything, either. I'm just saying it's not very "fair".
Anyway, I'm done my lenghthy rant. To each his (or her) own.
I understand that there may be allergies or someone may work in a factory... IMHO these are very very understable reasons. But, to say, I just don't like to wear it (when your wife is).... seems pretty weak to me. It takes a bit of time to get use to, but I don't even know I have it on anymore. I'm not advocating forcing your partner to do anything, either. I'm just saying it's not very "fair".
Anyway, I'm done my lenghthy rant. To each his (or her) own.
it's all cool.
my only 'issue' was the insinuation that there is really only 'one reason' not to wear a wedding band, and as you just pointed out yourself, there are many. whether they 'work' for you or not is another story entirely.
Men of a certain era (although probably no one posting here) didn't wear rings- guys who were married in the 1950s generally didn't wear them.
I've known one guy who had an office job & never wore his but he had serious OCD issues & couldn't deal with a ring only on one finger.
There are hazardous occupations- fishermen can't really wear theirs out at sea. That's pretty legit. I'm sure there are others.
Other than that, sorry to say, with guys that work in cubicle farms who are still young enough to be skirt chasers, if they don't wear their ring, it's because they are cheaters.
"If you're looking for someone to pull you out of that ditch, you're out of luck."
Men of a certain era (although probably no one posting here) didn't wear rings- guys who were married in the 1950s generally didn't wear them.
I've known one guy who had an office job & never wore his but he had serious OCD issues & couldn't deal with a ring only on one finger.
There are hazardous occupations- fishermen can't really wear theirs out at sea. That's pretty legit. I'm sure there are others.
Other than that, sorry to say, with guys that work in cubicle farms who are still young enough to be skirt chasers, if they don't wear their ring, it's because they are cheaters.
my gawd, vast sweeping generalizations soooooooo annoy me. but hey, if you want to believe it...go ahead!
guess i am 'safe' then :rolleyes:, my husband is no cube-dweller.
i say, your marriage...wearing rings or not....is as secure as the two of you choose to make it. the day i start worrying about if my husband is wearing a wedding ring or not...is the day i realize i have no trust in my husband, our marriage, whatsoever.
Other than that, sorry to say, with guys that work in cubicle farms who are still young enough to be skirt chasers, if they don't wear their ring, it's because they are cheaters.
skirt chasers? are YOU from the 50s?
I just don't agree with this. some people just do not like to wear rings, male or female, like your OCD friend. Some people don't like the look of it or they think it looks tacky. I always wear a watch, a bracelet and 2 rings, but I take them all off when I have do any serious typing.
my gawd, vast sweeping generalizations soooooooo annoy me. but hey, if you want to believe it...go ahead!
guess i am 'safe' then :rolleyes:, my husband is no cube-dweller.
i say, your marriage...wearing rings or not....is as secure as the two of you choose to make it. the day i start worrying about if my husband is wearing a wedding ring or not...is the day i realize i have no trust in my husband, our marriage, whatsoever.
what-evvvveeeerrrrrrrrrrrr..........:p
It's like a proof in Geometry.
Some men are married.
Not all men wear wedding rings.
Some men are cheaters.
All men who are cheaters don't wear wedding rings.
Not all men who don't wear wedding rings are cheaters.
"If you're looking for someone to pull you out of that ditch, you're out of luck."
Some men are married.
Not all men wear wedding rings.
Some men are cheaters.
All men who are cheaters don't wear wedding rings.
Not all men who don't wear wedding rings are cheaters.
uhuh....keep telling yourself that. as i said, believe what you want to believe. i know otherwise, and i will leave it at that. life is not black and white. but hey, anyone wants to look at wearing, or not wearing, a wedding ring as some *proof*...go right ahead! i'll stick with my proof.
works for me.
*edit - sorry, i am an idiot. i missed the last line........:o hahahaha. mea culpa! although i STILL disagree, i fully believe there are plenty of cheaters who wear their wedding rings, male and female. and that's it.
uhuh....keep telling yourself that. as i said, believe what you want to believe. i know otherwise, and i will leave it at that. life is not black and white. but hey, anyone wants to look at wearing, or not wearing, a wedding ring as some *proof*...go right ahead! i'll stick with my proof.
works for me.
I envy people who think they can trust their spouses. I really do.
That is not a slam against you in any way (but thanks for the permission to believe what I want to believe).
"If you're looking for someone to pull you out of that ditch, you're out of luck."
I envy people who think they can trust their spouses. I really do.
That is not a slam against you in any way (but thanks for the permission to believe what I want to believe).
i can, and i do.
does it mean my trust will never be betrayed? nope. however, i STILL give my trust freely, and happily. this is how i choose to live my life. it works for me. so far, so good. i trust many people. sometimes it's been the wrong choice. c'est la vie. i still like trusting people who earn my trust. and i don't take it as a slam, i take it as a compliment. i am a realist, but i also appreciate and value what i have. it may not be here tomorrow...due to my actions, my husband's, or who knows? right now, it's really good. trust is a big part of that. and quite honestly, for ME, fidelity is not the end-all, be-all of a relationship...not by a longshot, so worrying over 'cheating' doesn't even register high on my list of 'concerns' period. so add in wearing a ring or not? non-issue.
I envy people who think they can trust their spouses. I really do.
why? Why would someone enter into a committed relationship if they were just going to cheat? what's the point of it then? the entire basis of getting married is to not cheat...so why do it in the first place if this is not what you want to do? I realize there are some nutjobs out there who don't understand this, but this reason the vast majority of people in committed (by definition!) relationships wouldn't cheat.
If you are male, married, under 35, are not allergic to rings, don't work in an environment where a ring could be hazardous, and still don't wear a ring...
...you are "more LIKELY" to be a cheater than someone who does wear it faithfully. That's an opinion, but I think it could be proven by fact if anyone would ever test it.
If you are male, married, under 35, are not allergic to rings, don't work in an environment where a ring could be hazardous, and still don't wear a ring...
...you are "more LIKELY" to be a cheater than someone who does wear it faithfully. That's an opinion, but I think it could be proven by fact if anyone would ever test it.
unless you're george costanza and you're conducting a sociological experiment
If you are male, married, under 35, are not allergic to rings, don't work in an environment where a ring could be hazardous, and still don't wear a ring...
...you are "more LIKELY" to be a cheater than someone who does wear it faithfully. That's an opinion, but I think it could be proven by fact if anyone would ever test it.
what about a woman who fits that same criteria?
just curious.
and marriage, in and of itself....wasn't 'designed' for fidelity. it was merely a financial arrangement between families initially. nowadays, sure....far more likely to be based on love and fidelity, but let's face it....there STILL is lots of extramarital sex, so while many may like the 'idea' of a commited relationship, fildelity maybe not as much, and i would dare say....not mutually exculsive. besides, there's always http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=279408
and marriage, in and of itself....wasn't 'designed' for fidelity. it was merely a financial arrangement between families initially. nowadays, sure....far more likely to be based on love and fidelity, but let's face it....there STILL is lots of extramarital sex, so while many may like the 'idea' of a commited relationship, fildelity maybe not as much, and i would dare say....not mutually exculsive. besides, there's always http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=279408
and....an opinion piece. whoopdy-do. bottomline, i simply disagree. i think there ARE married men, wearing wedding bands, who cheat.....and there are married men who don't wear wedding bands who don't cheat. women too. whether 'most' do or don't...irrelevant to me. i just dislike foregone conclusions and sweeping generalizations which may be true, or not....but paint with too bold a brush people who do NOT fit that bill. that's all.
i've been married for 13 years. stopped wearing my wedding band about 7 or 8 years ago. i started gaining a lot of weight, my fingers got fat, and the band was too tight. i know i can have it resized, i've just never gotten around to it. i don't think i will though, because my wife wants to get new rings for our 15th anniversary. when we get them, i'll wear the ring...unless (god, i hope it doesn't happen) i gain more weight and my fingers get fatter again.
My wedding ring is the most cherished posession that I own. So, I proudly wear my ring unless I'm doing something like yard work or something that involves oil or tools/machinery. It took about 4 months to get used to wearing it as I would only wear a watch before getting married, but now I feel 'naked' without it.
My husband doesn't wear his. His knuckles got a little bigger and its hard for him to put it on and take it off. We've been married 26 years, and it looks like it'll go on, so whatever. I wear mine though (plus the bling he gave me on our 25 year anniversary). Also, he's from the Indian subcontinent and its not a given that men must wear a wedding ring, and women don't necessarily either - women wear gold bangles after marriage instead.
R.i.p. Rigoberto Alpizar.
R.i.p. My Dad - May 28, 2007
R.i.p. Black Tail (cat) - Sept. 20, 2008
ed is not married. just an FYI. jill is always referred to as his GF, and ed refers to her as his lady, not his wife.
i'd like to redo my engagement ring, which is more like a diamond eternity wedding band - my choice - sometime in the future. as i said, i don't actually wear my wedding band, nor engagement ring at all anymore. but i do wear a ring in it's place that still looks a bit like a wedding band with diamonds that my husband gave me a few years ago. i love wearing rings, he does not.....and we're still kickin it 16 years later. all is good.
It's kind of "commonlaw" though after eight years and two children.
bottomline thoug he did NOT marry her, and thus no need for a ring.....common law or not. and yes, while there are many commitments with a common law marriage - although i have no idea about in seattle - it still is not 100% recognized as a 'marriage'...if the relationship disolves. sure, legal ramifications to be sure, but there is reason not to marry if that's your choice, and live together indefinitely.
anyhoo, for this conversation was simply pointing out he has no 'need' to wear a ring b/c he did not make the commitment of marriage. beyond that, i see no need in it period...just choice.
Comments
Marriage is much more than a piece of paper or a ring on your finger. It's love, friendship, respect and honour... things that no amount of money can buy
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
when they reach a certain age (probably the same age when someone being married is relevant concern), the chance that ANY woman is going to hook up with a guy she just met in a bar, ring or no, diminishes greatly. Hopefully if a guy isn't a wearing a ring, there's more time to investigate whether he's married or not.
the bottom line is that without a ring, you can't be sure if someone you don't know is in a relationship. I don't think that should bar people from ever "approaching" someone to say hi. if they're in a relationship, they'll tell you, and if they don't that's the only part where the problems arise. Besides I don't think there's anything different about approaching a guy who's married who's not wearing vs. a guy in a serious relationship who wouldn't be wearing a ring. either way they're off the market, so what's your point?
and i stand by my call.
my response was to this:
as if your foregone conclusion is the ONLY reason one would not wear a ring. and i say bullshit. is it A reason? sure, you bet. but i would say MORE don't wear a ring sinmply b/c they don't like to wear jewelry, feel no need for a symbol, etc...than b/c they are looking to flirt and/or cheat. that's all. men AND women both cheat, or don't...and both wear rings, or not. in fact, i know many, many women who do not wear wedding bands either. there are a multitude of reasons for this beyond simply the possibility of cheating. THAT is what i called BS. like most things, lots of reasons out there.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
I understand that there may be allergies or someone may work in a factory... IMHO these are very very understable reasons. But, to say, I just don't like to wear it (when your wife is).... seems pretty weak to me. It takes a bit of time to get use to, but I don't even know I have it on anymore. I'm not advocating forcing your partner to do anything, either. I'm just saying it's not very "fair".
Anyway, I'm done my lenghthy rant. To each his (or her) own.
it's all cool.
my only 'issue' was the insinuation that there is really only 'one reason' not to wear a wedding band, and as you just pointed out yourself, there are many. whether they 'work' for you or not is another story entirely.
i'm all about personal choice.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
I've known one guy who had an office job & never wore his but he had serious OCD issues & couldn't deal with a ring only on one finger.
There are hazardous occupations- fishermen can't really wear theirs out at sea. That's pretty legit. I'm sure there are others.
Other than that, sorry to say, with guys that work in cubicle farms who are still young enough to be skirt chasers, if they don't wear their ring, it's because they are cheaters.
my gawd, vast sweeping generalizations soooooooo annoy me. but hey, if you want to believe it...go ahead!
guess i am 'safe' then :rolleyes:, my husband is no cube-dweller.
i say, your marriage...wearing rings or not....is as secure as the two of you choose to make it. the day i start worrying about if my husband is wearing a wedding ring or not...is the day i realize i have no trust in my husband, our marriage, whatsoever.
what-evvvveeeerrrrrrrrrrrr..........:p
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
skirt chasers? are YOU from the 50s?
I just don't agree with this. some people just do not like to wear rings, male or female, like your OCD friend. Some people don't like the look of it or they think it looks tacky. I always wear a watch, a bracelet and 2 rings, but I take them all off when I have do any serious typing.
It's like a proof in Geometry.
Some men are married.
Not all men wear wedding rings.
Some men are cheaters.
All men who are cheaters don't wear wedding rings.
Not all men who don't wear wedding rings are cheaters.
uhuh....keep telling yourself that. as i said, believe what you want to believe. i know otherwise, and i will leave it at that. life is not black and white. but hey, anyone wants to look at wearing, or not wearing, a wedding ring as some *proof*...go right ahead! i'll stick with my proof.
works for me.
*edit - sorry, i am an idiot. i missed the last line........:o hahahaha. mea culpa! although i STILL disagree, i fully believe there are plenty of cheaters who wear their wedding rings, male and female. and that's it.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
I envy people who think they can trust their spouses. I really do.
That is not a slam against you in any way (but thanks for the permission to believe what I want to believe).
i can, and i do.
does it mean my trust will never be betrayed? nope. however, i STILL give my trust freely, and happily. this is how i choose to live my life. it works for me. so far, so good. i trust many people. sometimes it's been the wrong choice. c'est la vie. i still like trusting people who earn my trust. and i don't take it as a slam, i take it as a compliment. i am a realist, but i also appreciate and value what i have. it may not be here tomorrow...due to my actions, my husband's, or who knows? right now, it's really good. trust is a big part of that. and quite honestly, for ME, fidelity is not the end-all, be-all of a relationship...not by a longshot, so worrying over 'cheating' doesn't even register high on my list of 'concerns' period. so add in wearing a ring or not? non-issue.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
A ring isn't gonna keep or prevent anyone from cheating. Those who will...will regardless of jewelry.
why? Why would someone enter into a committed relationship if they were just going to cheat? what's the point of it then? the entire basis of getting married is to not cheat...so why do it in the first place if this is not what you want to do? I realize there are some nutjobs out there who don't understand this, but this reason the vast majority of people in committed (by definition!) relationships wouldn't cheat.
If you are male, married, under 35, are not allergic to rings, don't work in an environment where a ring could be hazardous, and still don't wear a ring...
...you are "more LIKELY" to be a cheater than someone who does wear it faithfully. That's an opinion, but I think it could be proven by fact if anyone would ever test it.
what about a woman who fits that same criteria?
just curious.
and marriage, in and of itself....wasn't 'designed' for fidelity. it was merely a financial arrangement between families initially. nowadays, sure....far more likely to be based on love and fidelity, but let's face it....there STILL is lots of extramarital sex, so while many may like the 'idea' of a commited relationship, fildelity maybe not as much, and i would dare say....not mutually exculsive. besides, there's always http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=279408
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
Same goes for a woman.
Check this out...
http://nymag.com/nymetro/nightlife/sex/columns/mating/10582/
I agree with you about the other aspects.
hey now, not advertising...just making a point.
well i appreciate you being consistent at least.
and....an opinion piece. whoopdy-do. bottomline, i simply disagree. i think there ARE married men, wearing wedding bands, who cheat.....and there are married men who don't wear wedding bands who don't cheat. women too. whether 'most' do or don't...irrelevant to me. i just dislike foregone conclusions and sweeping generalizations which may be true, or not....but paint with too bold a brush people who do NOT fit that bill. that's all.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
that's what I figured.
~D.K.S.
like Ed what? naked or not wearing a wedding ring?
R.i.p. My Dad - May 28, 2007
R.i.p. Black Tail (cat) - Sept. 20, 2008
ed is not married. just an FYI. jill is always referred to as his GF, and ed refers to her as his lady, not his wife.
i'd like to redo my engagement ring, which is more like a diamond eternity wedding band - my choice - sometime in the future. as i said, i don't actually wear my wedding band, nor engagement ring at all anymore. but i do wear a ring in it's place that still looks a bit like a wedding band with diamonds that my husband gave me a few years ago. i love wearing rings, he does not.....and we're still kickin it 16 years later. all is good.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
It's kind of "commonlaw" though after eight years and two children.
bottomline thoug he did NOT marry her, and thus no need for a ring.....common law or not. and yes, while there are many commitments with a common law marriage - although i have no idea about in seattle - it still is not 100% recognized as a 'marriage'...if the relationship disolves. sure, legal ramifications to be sure, but there is reason not to marry if that's your choice, and live together indefinitely.
anyhoo, for this conversation was simply pointing out he has no 'need' to wear a ring b/c he did not make the commitment of marriage. beyond that, i see no need in it period...just choice.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow