The bottom line - is we need counselling but she refused. I went on my own and it helped. Eventualy she joined me and things are getting better. I think I avoided being bashed as the man - because I instigated the counselling.
So - my words of wisdom to you are that it is good to be going to counselling and doing whatever you can to work it out.
In the last year, we have seen 7 of our closest friends all go through divorce. It sounds like hell.
To PatrickBatemen: As much as I can empathize with your similar family situation - you have to be careful when dealing with a pregnant wife. I've gone through that 3 times - and my wife loses her f ing mind when she is pregnant. It took a while - but I eventually learned how to ride the emotional wave. I once got kicked out of the house for a week because I shovelled the driveway and my priorities weren't straight. Be careful not to write off her feelings as hormonal - they are real to her at the time.
Trixie: Without apologizing, we are back to the good. I bought home her fav wings last night and peace has been restored
BTW, for 14 years , I have ALWAYS been the "bigger" person and make the effort for peace.
And as much as I would like to think it was because of the pregnancy, she is always like this.
I was bullshitting with this Peruvian guy in a bar once, discussing Peruvian wives and the husbands side of the family....all he said was "man, goooooooood luck!"
If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
someone in the relationship always needs to set the ball in motion, but as long as you both go into it willing and fairly open-minded, nothing but good can come from it. happy to see you realized it is a necessary step to get things back on track, or hell, even a whole new track.
i wish you both the best...and may happiness arise out of it all. lots of work ahead, but well worth it and you shall be better prepared for it, gain more understanding of each other and hey, may end up with a far better connection and renewed interest. nothing like renewed interest. AKA...crazy-good sex!
this, coming from you, does not shock me in the least...i mean it's hockey season, right? how can you possibly concentrate and focus on any girlfriend during hockey season?
this, coming from you, does not shock me in the least...i mean it's hockey season, right? how can you possibly concentrate and focus on any girlfriend during hockey season?
My marriage counsellor ended our sessions early because he said we were perfect together and would have no problems...
Hah
*bursts into maniacal laughter*
'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'
do i really want this love you offer? do i trust it? get beyond the past?
good stuff
it DOES get better.
and hey, nothing like a neutral third party to vent to, get it all out, be completely honest...it is unbelievably cathartic, and in time, better communication and coping mechanisms develop...making your relationship better and stronger....and less explosive, over time...because you have the tools necessary to 'fine-tune' as you go, on your own...together.
i actually looked it up on amazon, but not much of a description. i really enjoy such books so i am curious. also, i see other, 'related' books that appear to be of a religious nature. not that there is anything wrong with that, but that is entirely a turnoff to me...so is this book at ALL religious? do please share details.....it could be a fun exercise. as long as god isn't in the pciture.
I did and I'm currently divorced but that doesn't mean that it will not work. If both parties really want to make it work then it can help but if one person isn't really into fixing the problems then it is bound to fail.
"When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
Comments
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=291817
The bottom line - is we need counselling but she refused. I went on my own and it helped. Eventualy she joined me and things are getting better. I think I avoided being bashed as the man - because I instigated the counselling.
So - my words of wisdom to you are that it is good to be going to counselling and doing whatever you can to work it out.
In the last year, we have seen 7 of our closest friends all go through divorce. It sounds like hell.
To PatrickBatemen: As much as I can empathize with your similar family situation - you have to be careful when dealing with a pregnant wife. I've gone through that 3 times - and my wife loses her f ing mind when she is pregnant. It took a while - but I eventually learned how to ride the emotional wave. I once got kicked out of the house for a week because I shovelled the driveway and my priorities weren't straight. Be careful not to write off her feelings as hormonal - they are real to her at the time.
I am glad I don't have to go through that again.
BTW, for 14 years , I have ALWAYS been the "bigger" person and make the effort for peace.
And as much as I would like to think it was because of the pregnancy, she is always like this.
I was bullshitting with this Peruvian guy in a bar once, discussing Peruvian wives and the husbands side of the family....all he said was "man, goooooooood luck!"
She weighs like 100 lbs but eats like lumberjack
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
someone in the relationship always needs to set the ball in motion, but as long as you both go into it willing and fairly open-minded, nothing but good can come from it. happy to see you realized it is a necessary step to get things back on track, or hell, even a whole new track.
i wish you both the best...and may happiness arise out of it all. lots of work ahead, but well worth it and you shall be better prepared for it, gain more understanding of each other and hey, may end up with a far better connection and renewed interest. nothing like renewed interest. AKA...crazy-good sex!
enjoy!
seriously...good luck!
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
"What a stupid lamb."
"What a sick, masochistic lion."
do i really want this love you offer? do i trust it? get beyond the past?
good stuff
On topic, good man Steve. Don't give up.
this, coming from you, does not shock me in the least...i mean it's hockey season, right? how can you possibly concentrate and focus on any girlfriend during hockey season?
does your wife know you are on here? some spouses are jealous.
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
Hah
*bursts into maniacal laughter*
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
it DOES get better.
and hey, nothing like a neutral third party to vent to, get it all out, be completely honest...it is unbelievably cathartic, and in time, better communication and coping mechanisms develop...making your relationship better and stronger....and less explosive, over time...because you have the tools necessary to 'fine-tune' as you go, on your own...together.
keep up the good work steve!
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
buy two copies and each read it
routine was the theme..
there aint gonna be any middle any more
this sounds intriguing......
i actually looked it up on amazon, but not much of a description. i really enjoy such books so i am curious. also, i see other, 'related' books that appear to be of a religious nature. not that there is anything wrong with that, but that is entirely a turnoff to me...so is this book at ALL religious? do please share details.....it could be a fun exercise.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
I did and I'm currently divorced but that doesn't mean that it will not work. If both parties really want to make it work then it can help but if one person isn't really into fixing the problems then it is bound to fail.