You Aussies are becoming my favorite people on here. You're currently edging out my former favorites......Bostonians. But let's face it, their accent is weird;)
Yeah they say beer funny... wait a minute...! :eek:
Aussie accents sound like someone pouring rays of the sun into my ear holes as dew gently slides down the middle of its caramel center. It makes me want to lick my own face.
Aussie accents sound like someone pouring rays of the sun into my ear holes as dew gently slides down the middle of its caramel center. It makes me want to lick my own face.
errr ... steve irwin isnt the only aussie voice youve heard then???
errr ... steve irwin isnt the only aussie voice youve heard then???
There's actually a real estate agent here in Jackson from Australia. He and his wife are both very nice, I always like when he calls me to look up a house. He even has G'Day Mate stickers on his vehicle for advertisement.
There's actually a real estate agent here in Jackson from Australia. He and his wife are both very nice, I always like when he calls me to look up a house. He even has G'Day Mate stickers on his vehicle for advertisement.
Cool dude.
I thought Steve Irwin spoke Aboriginie <--sp?
HAha!! Thats gold. No the Aborigine people speak the same as us. unless they were bron 200 years ago.
1. Latest news on the best band in the world
2. Really great people who helped me through a really boring job
3. Latest on some great recordings of excellent shows
4. some Great people that I got a chance to meet on tour
5. hillarity
6. I don't feel like such a freak
7. Other people who love the greatest band in the world
8. Cute Aussie accents
...
TOP 100 REASONS WHY PEARL JAM DIDN'T PLAY THE SOUTH
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to fuck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
TOP 100 REASONS WHY PEARL JAM DIDN'T PLAY THE SOUTH
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes!
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food do not mix
TOP 100 REASONS WHY PEARL JAM DIDN'T PLAY THE SOUTH
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
TOP 100 REASONS WHY PEARL JAM DIDN'T PLAY THE SOUTH
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
TOP 100 REASONS WHY PEARL JAM DIDN'T PLAY THE SOUTH
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
TOP 100 REASONS WHY PEARL JAM DIDN'T PLAY THE SOUTH
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
TOP 100 REASONS WHY PEARL JAM DIDN'T PLAY THE SOUTH
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76.Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
TOP 100 REASONS WHY PEARL JAM DIDN'T PLAY THE SOUTH
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76.Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
TOP 100 REASONS WHY PEARL JAM DIDN'T PLAY THE SOUTH
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76. Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
78. 'Cos Boom kept getting mistaken for Jesse Duke
TOP 100 REASONS WHY PEARL JAM DIDN'T PLAY THE SOUTH
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76. Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
78. 'Cos Boom kept getting mistaken for Jesse Duke
79 . Because they didnt think snake skins hanging from the mike stands would be a good look
TOP 100 REASONS WHY PEARL JAM DIDN'T PLAY THE SOUTH
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76. Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
78. 'Cos Boom kept getting mistaken for Jesse Duke
79 . Because they didnt think snake skins hanging from the mike stands would be a good look
80. Because Ed's legs are too short for brown leather cowboy boots (they come up to his knees)!
TOP 100 REASONS WHY PEARL JAM DIDN'T PLAY THE SOUTH
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76. Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
78. 'Cos Boom kept getting mistaken for Jesse Duke
79 . Because they didnt think snake skins hanging from the mike stands would be a good look
80. Because Ed's legs are too short for brown leather cowboy boots (they come up to his knees)!
81. Because they refuse to play "Achey Breaky Heart"
TOP 100 REASONS WHY PEARL JAM DIDN'T PLAY THE SOUTH
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76. Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
78. 'Cos Boom kept getting mistaken for Jesse Duke
79 . Because they didnt think snake skins hanging from the mike stands would be a good look
80. Because Ed's legs are too short for brown leather cowboy boots (they come up to his knees)!
81. Because they refuse to play "Achey Breaky Heart"
82. Mike, Stone and Jeff didn't have enough time to grow full mullets!
TOP 100 REASONS WHY PEARL JAM DIDN'T PLAY THE SOUTH
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76. Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
78. 'Cos Boom kept getting mistaken for Jesse Duke
79 . Because they didnt think snake skins hanging from the mike stands would be a good look
80. Because Ed's legs are too short for brown leather cowboy boots (they come up to his knees)!
81. Because they refuse to play "Achey Breaky Heart"
82. Mike, Stone and Jeff didn't have enough time to grow full mullets!
83. Because the abbreviation for New Orleans is NO which they thought was an omen not to play there
TOP 100 REASONS WHY PEARL JAM DIDN'T PLAY THE SOUTH
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76. Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
78. 'Cos Boom kept getting mistaken for Jesse Duke
79 . Because they didnt think snake skins hanging from the mike stands would be a good look
80. Because Ed's legs are too short for brown leather cowboy boots (they come up to his knees)!
81. Because they refuse to play "Achey Breaky Heart"
82. Mike, Stone and Jeff didn't have enough time to grow full mullets!
83. Because the complicated steps required to "Bootscoot" were just beyond Eddie's dance skills
TOP 100 REASONS WHY PEARL JAM DIDN'T PLAY THE SOUTH
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76. Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
78. 'Cos Boom kept getting mistaken for Jesse Duke
79 . Because they didnt think snake skins hanging from the mike stands would be a good look
80. Because Ed's legs are too short for brown leather cowboy boots (they come up to his knees)!
81. Because they refuse to play "Achey Breaky Heart"
82. Mike, Stone and Jeff didn't have enough time to grow full mullets!
83. Because the complicated steps required to "Bootscoot" were just beyond Eddie's dance skills
84. theys got lost in them corn fields
Comments
Why would you start was has no end?
errr ... steve irwin isnt the only aussie voice youve heard then???
There's actually a real estate agent here in Jackson from Australia. He and his wife are both very nice, I always like when he calls me to look up a house. He even has G'Day Mate stickers on his vehicle for advertisement.
Cool dude.
I thought Steve Irwin spoke Aboriginie <--sp?
Why would you start was has no end?
HAha!! Thats gold. No the Aborigine people speak the same as us.
Hi Nick. How are ya mate? Havent seen you round in ages.
Got any Top 100's for our list? Its coming along nicely. Even Cory is hanging shit on himself
It has been awhile.
It's like Cheers though, coming back where "everybody knows your name."
1. Latest news on the best band in the world
2. Really great people who helped me through a really boring job
3. Latest on some great recordings of excellent shows
4. some Great people that I got a chance to meet on tour
5. hillarity
6. I don't feel like such a freak
7. Other people who love the greatest band in the world
8. Cute Aussie accents
...
or where everybody in here has no life and their best friends are usernames with typed words behind them!!
i need to get out more!
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to fuck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
are you at work Stu? You dirty whoring whore!! get back to it!
same as us?? Trudi - have you not been to cowra?? or dubbo??
dubbo maccas recently: (spelling mistakes optional)
"yea mate - ah want a shake - you sell shakes?? wat flaver?? choklut yea. well gimme a choklut wun then yea. nah tats all ah wunt."
um - and no offense to any indiginous people on this board.....
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes!
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food do not mix
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76.Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76.Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76. Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
78. 'Cos Boom kept getting mistaken for Jesse Duke
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76. Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
78. 'Cos Boom kept getting mistaken for Jesse Duke
79 . Because they didnt think snake skins hanging from the mike stands would be a good look
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76. Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
78. 'Cos Boom kept getting mistaken for Jesse Duke
79 . Because they didnt think snake skins hanging from the mike stands would be a good look
80. Because Ed's legs are too short for brown leather cowboy boots (they come up to his knees)!
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76. Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
78. 'Cos Boom kept getting mistaken for Jesse Duke
79 . Because they didnt think snake skins hanging from the mike stands would be a good look
80. Because Ed's legs are too short for brown leather cowboy boots (they come up to his knees)!
81. Because they refuse to play "Achey Breaky Heart"
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76. Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
78. 'Cos Boom kept getting mistaken for Jesse Duke
79 . Because they didnt think snake skins hanging from the mike stands would be a good look
80. Because Ed's legs are too short for brown leather cowboy boots (they come up to his knees)!
81. Because they refuse to play "Achey Breaky Heart"
82. Mike, Stone and Jeff didn't have enough time to grow full mullets!
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76. Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
78. 'Cos Boom kept getting mistaken for Jesse Duke
79 . Because they didnt think snake skins hanging from the mike stands would be a good look
80. Because Ed's legs are too short for brown leather cowboy boots (they come up to his knees)!
81. Because they refuse to play "Achey Breaky Heart"
82. Mike, Stone and Jeff didn't have enough time to grow full mullets!
83. Because the abbreviation for New Orleans is NO which they thought was an omen not to play there
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76. Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
78. 'Cos Boom kept getting mistaken for Jesse Duke
79 . Because they didnt think snake skins hanging from the mike stands would be a good look
80. Because Ed's legs are too short for brown leather cowboy boots (they come up to his knees)!
81. Because they refuse to play "Achey Breaky Heart"
82. Mike, Stone and Jeff didn't have enough time to grow full mullets!
83. Because the complicated steps required to "Bootscoot" were just beyond Eddie's dance skills
1. Ed prefers wine rather than moonshine
2. Just Because .....
3. They thought "The South" meant "The Southern Hemisphere" so they went to Australia instead
4. 'Cos he dunna likey dayut Bush Feller.. *Cleatus laugh*
5. Pearl Jam are against the dirty art of in-breeding
6. Because Ed, Stone, Jeff and Mike don't know how to play the Banjo yet
7. No venue carparks were big enough to accommodate all the trailers
8. Pearl Jam saw the Pauly Shore Movie.. Son in Law, and were afraid they'd be attacked by "Inbreeeeders" with pitch forks!
9. Because they don't like Grits
10. The South blows!
11. Pearl Jam DID play there but those darn southern yokels couldn't read the announcement
12. The boys had to wrestle Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies before they could even book a venue... They declined!
13. They had communication problems with venue managers as they couldnt understand what they were saying except for every second word being 'like'
14. They saw that old movie where the man was made to get down on all fours and squeal like a pig and it terrified them
15. They couldn't take their loved ones to the concerts as the venues had a 'no animal policy' so there was a lack of demand
16. "My Name is Earl" does not rate high in all the other US states so Pearl Jam made their decision based on that
17. Pearl Jam wouldn't allow those with two heads to be facilitated on the 1 ticket, and unfortunately those people couldn't afford 2 tickets on their welfare payouts
18. They are waiting untill they release their "Crunk" album next year.
19. Ed wants to teach himself to play the washboard while blowing into the harmonica first
20. The South wants no part in the preservation of Mr. Leatherback's family
21. Because the south think 'conservation' is all about the art of making jam/jelly
22. The South was billed to be on the 1st Leg of the US tour but the locals thought that because it was on Leg 1, then only amputees could attend, so demand wasn't sufficient enough to play
23. dont even get me started.....
24. They wanted to see how many reasons we could come up with before admin stepped in
25. Because they absolutely hate petitions to play in places
26. 'Cos Mike's moisturising cream melts in their climate
27. Because the humidity turns Ed and Boom's hair turn into afros
28. Stone may get mistaken for a wild animal during his duck walk and may be hunted
29. They felt they did their part by playing at the Hurricane Katrina Benefit so in their eyes they didn't owe The South anything
30. Because after the Bush Mask fiasco in 2003 Ed was told he wouldn't be allowed to wear his Ku Klux Klan suit
31. Because there's shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
32. Because the band were disappointed after learning that their idol Britney Spears is a product of Louisiana trailer trash
33. They realised that their hillbilly rock wasn't quite up to par
34. Because they are waiting for Road House 3 to be finished and will perform a week at the Double Deuce.
35. It's Stone's fault... he's allergic to being that much closer to the Equator..
36. Because Mike refuses to learn how to play the Fiddle
37. Southern Fried Chicken is very oily and bad for them
38. They were going to tour there so they could meet Colonel Sanders but found out he died in 1980, so they cancelled
39. Ed was informed that a 'mullet' was essential if they were gonna play the south and he wasn't prepared to make that commitment
40. The South wasn't big enough for both Pearl Jam and Chuck Norris
41. Eddie can't wear flannel in that climate
42. Kid Rock has the monopoly on music in The South
43. Because no-one down there can ever spell Mississippi right
44. Mmmm.....Arkansas or Athens? That's a hard choice to make
45. Because Tom Sawyer and Gone With the Wind are both over-rated
46. Intimidated by the live shows of the Drive By Truckers
47. They wern't to happy about serving raccoon on a stick for pre-show munchies
48. They're waiting until Ed grows his beard long enough to look like Billy Gibbons of ZZTop
49. They'd only get Trailer Trash Groupies
50. There are no 10C members as Southerners refused to buy membership as there was no discount for producing their Social Security Cards
51. For the same reason they never play Tasmania, they don't have Electricity down there
52. Because they couldnt get overalls embroided with the Pearl Jam logo ready in time to sell at the merch vans
53. They couldn't find BumFuckIdaho on the map
54. Because Ed's angry baritone does not go well with Gospel music
55. Because they knew if they all didnt stand very still during their set the audience would get excited thinking they were performing 'un-natural acts' with their instruments
56. The tour bus is still in the shop having 'The Duke's of Hazard' Air-Horns fitted
57. Because the band thought "I Wish I Was in Dixie" was the title of a porn movie.
58. The Northern states were all out of Confederate Flags, which are required by law, to be flown from aerials on vehicles before crossing over the invisible Southern border.
59. The band is still pissed about the Civil War
60. They cant let the audience join in the chants because they insist on putting "y'all" in front of every line
61. Because they were fuckin scared!!
62. Because they didnt want their tour stickers to read "Ditch The Drummer - We're Goin Huntin!!!"
63. Because their fan base is too stupid to even play the TOP 10 game right!
64. Because they're too scared of being eaten by giant snakes! http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=244951
65. They wanted to avoid the customary tradition of having to f uck their own sisters.
66. While rocking back and forth on the porch, Ma and Pa heard that Ed was going to bring a case of wine, and not the Spirit of the South - Jack Daniels. They re-loaded their shotguns, and wait.....
67. Frankly my dears.... They don't give a damn!!
68. Pearl Jam was told that shoes would not be allowed and all women in their crew would have to be pregnant
69. Pearl Jam backed out because the guys in the band had 17 more teeth than the expected crowd combined
70. Because Crohn's Disease and Cajun food don't mix..
71. ***crickets***
72. Because the average attention span is only 1 1/2 songs
73. The album Ten didn't do very well in the South as no one knew the number existed. Even though they have 12 fingers
74. Because they were warned that the person who created this http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=243689 thread would be there ... awaiting ...
75. 'Cos Dolly Parton's implants burst and the region is flooded and Stone refuses to play with floaties on 'cos he will no longer be able to do the duck walk properly
76. Because the only one who looked good in a cowboy hat was Stone.
77. And then Jeff got jealous
78. 'Cos Boom kept getting mistaken for Jesse Duke
79 . Because they didnt think snake skins hanging from the mike stands would be a good look
80. Because Ed's legs are too short for brown leather cowboy boots (they come up to his knees)!
81. Because they refuse to play "Achey Breaky Heart"
82. Mike, Stone and Jeff didn't have enough time to grow full mullets!
83. Because the complicated steps required to "Bootscoot" were just beyond Eddie's dance skills
84. theys got lost in them corn fields