Top 10 ways to fire an incompetent receptionist who is screwing things up for the office
1. Say to her, "Take one step forward if you work here. WHOA not so fast there, hunny!"
2. There is no "I" in team. There is no "U" either. Security will be around shortly to escort you out.
3. Buy them a one way plane ticket to Antarctica
4. Tell her she has one hour to clean out her desk or Suns Rival will come dump a bucket of poop on her head. Little does she know that even if she does it in less than an hour, Suns will STILL dump the poop on her
5. Hey you (while pointing) -- time to FUCK OFF and don't bother coming back!
6. You're FIRED
7. Send out a nasty email to all the partners from her email addy saying "Offering free rim jobs in the dunnies for a promotion"
8. Sneak onto her computer while she's at lunch, go to porn sites and download the filthiest pics and videos you can find then have a video playing while there are important visitors in the reception area
9. Make your kids fire them, no one can be mad at those cute little bastards
10. If you're the boss and she's hot, fuck her on your office desk and then say that relations of this kind are strictly forbidden in the workplace so she'll have to leave. If she's ugly, see No 5.
Top ten weird objects you can use to bash a burglar in the middle of the night
1. Grandma's fake leg
2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
3. A frozen turkey
4. Your wife's vibrator
5. Your wife
6. Your wife while she is using her vibrator
Top ten weird objects you can use to bash a burglar in the middle of the night
1. Grandma's fake leg
2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
3. A frozen turkey
4. Your wife's vibrator
5. Your wife
6. Your wife while she is using her vibrator
7. Chuck Norris
"The customer...is always...an ASSHOLE"
"The world fascinates me."
"Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"
Top ten weird objects you can use to bash a burglar in the middle of the night
1. Grandma's fake leg
2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
3. A frozen turkey
4. Your wife's vibrator
5. Your wife
6. Your wife while she is using her vibrator
7. Chuck Norris
8. The burglars own leg after Chuck Norris gets through with them
Top ten weird objects you can use to bash a burglar in the middle of the night
1. Grandma's fake leg
2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
3. A frozen turkey
4. Your wife's vibrator
5. Your wife
6. Your wife while she is using her vibrator
7. Chuck Norris
8. The burglars own leg after Chuck Norris gets through with them
9. The dog's food bowl
Sydney, Australia - March 12, 1998; Sydney, Australia - February 14, 2003; Sydney, Australia - November 8, 2006; Sydney, Australia - November 25, 2006; Brisbane, Australia - November, 2009; Gold Coast, Australia - January, 2014
Top ten weird objects you can use to bash a burglar in the middle of the night
1. Grandma's fake leg
2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
3. A frozen turkey
4. Your wife's vibrator
5. Your wife
6. Your wife while she is using her vibrator
7. Chuck Norris
8. The burglars own leg after Chuck Norris gets through with them
9. The dog's food bowl
10. A fist full of big gold rings that say "Jesus Saves"
Sydney, Australia - March 12, 1998; Sydney, Australia - February 14, 2003; Sydney, Australia - November 8, 2006; Sydney, Australia - November 25, 2006; Brisbane, Australia - November, 2009; Gold Coast, Australia - January, 2014
1. beater oil
2. Chocolate body paint
3. Golden showers
4. I put on my pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine
5. I put on DonJon's pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine.
"The customer...is always...an ASSHOLE"
"The world fascinates me."
"Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"
1. beater oil
2. Chocolate body paint
3. Golden showers
4. I put on my pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine
5. I put on DonJon's pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine.
6. I watch CNJ and DonJon do pole dances in their pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs (and tip handsomely)
1. beater oil
2. Chocolate body paint
3. Golden showers
4. I put on my pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine
5. I put on DonJon's pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine.
6. I watch CNJ and DonJon do pole dances in their pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs (and tip handsomely)
7. Pop on some Craig David... the Bo' Selecta Craig David....
1. beater oil
2. Chocolate body paint
3. Golden showers
4. I put on my pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine
5. I put on DonJon's pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine.
6. I watch CNJ and DonJon do pole dances in their pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs (and tip handsomely)
7. Pop on some Craig David... the Bo' Selecta Craig David....
8. Blow up my doll
1. beater oil
2. Chocolate body paint
3. Golden showers
4. I put on my pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine
5. I put on DonJon's pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine.
6. I watch CNJ and DonJon do pole dances in their pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs (and tip handsomely)
7. Pop on some Craig David... the Bo' Selecta Craig David....
8. Blow up my doll
9. Deflate the doll
"....and was very surprised to see that he didnt actually have a recipe for anus-ankle soup." - Big Ed
1. beater oil
2. Chocolate body paint
3. Golden showers
4. I put on my pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine
5. I put on DonJon's pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine.
6. I watch CNJ and DonJon do pole dances in their pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs (and tip handsomely)
7. Pop on some Craig David... the Bo' Selecta Craig David....
8. Blow up my doll
9. Deflate the doll
10. Al Green motherf*ckers
Comments
1. Say to her, "Take one step forward if you work here. WHOA not so fast there, hunny!"
2. There is no "I" in team. There is no "U" either. Security will be around shortly to escort you out.
3. Buy them a one way plane ticket to Antarctica
4. Tell her she has one hour to clean out her desk or Suns Rival will come dump a bucket of poop on her head. Little does she know that even if she does it in less than an hour, Suns will STILL dump the poop on her
5. Hey you (while pointing) -- time to FUCK OFF and don't bother coming back!
6. You're FIRED
7. Send out a nasty email to all the partners from her email addy saying "Offering free rim jobs in the dunnies for a promotion"
8. Sneak onto her computer while she's at lunch, go to porn sites and download the filthiest pics and videos you can find then have a video playing while there are important visitors in the reception area
9. Make your kids fire them, no one can be mad at those cute little bastards
10. If you're the boss and she's hot, fuck her on your office desk and then say that relations of this kind are strictly forbidden in the workplace so she'll have to leave. If she's ugly, see No 5.
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
1. Grandma's fake leg
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
1. Grandma's fake leg
2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
Ewwww...you'd actually TOUCH that thing?!?!!?
And I'll take as much fucking time as I want to....BITCH!
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
1. Grandma's fake leg
2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
3. A frozen turkey
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
1. Grandma's fake leg
2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
3. A frozen turkey
4. Your wife's vibrator
5. Your wife
"The world fascinates me."
"Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"
1. Grandma's fake leg
2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
3. A frozen turkey
4. Your wife's vibrator
5. Your wife
6. Your wife while she is using her vibrator
1. Grandma's fake leg
2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
3. A frozen turkey
4. Your wife's vibrator
5. Your wife
6. Your wife while she is using her vibrator
7. Chuck Norris
"The world fascinates me."
"Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"
1. Grandma's fake leg
2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
3. A frozen turkey
4. Your wife's vibrator
5. Your wife
6. Your wife while she is using her vibrator
7. Chuck Norris
8. The burglars own leg after Chuck Norris gets through with them
1. Grandma's fake leg
2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
3. A frozen turkey
4. Your wife's vibrator
5. Your wife
6. Your wife while she is using her vibrator
7. Chuck Norris
8. The burglars own leg after Chuck Norris gets through with them
9. The dog's food bowl
Tish you are supposed to start a new topic
1. beater oil
1. beater oil
2. Chocolate body paint
1. beater oil
2. Chocolate body paint
3. Golden showers
1. beater oil
2. Chocolate body paint
3. Golden showers
4. I put on my pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine
1. beater oil
2. Chocolate body paint
3. Golden showers
4. I put on my pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine
5. I put on DonJon's pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine.
"The world fascinates me."
"Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"
1. beater oil
2. Chocolate body paint
3. Golden showers
4. I put on my pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine
5. I put on DonJon's pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine.
6. I watch CNJ and DonJon do pole dances in their pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs (and tip handsomely)
1. beater oil
2. Chocolate body paint
3. Golden showers
4. I put on my pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine
5. I put on DonJon's pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine.
6. I watch CNJ and DonJon do pole dances in their pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs (and tip handsomely)
7. Pop on some Craig David... the Bo' Selecta Craig David....
1. beater oil
2. Chocolate body paint
3. Golden showers
4. I put on my pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine
5. I put on DonJon's pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine.
6. I watch CNJ and DonJon do pole dances in their pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs (and tip handsomely)
7. Pop on some Craig David... the Bo' Selecta Craig David....
8. Blow up my doll
1. beater oil
2. Chocolate body paint
3. Golden showers
4. I put on my pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine
5. I put on DonJon's pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine.
6. I watch CNJ and DonJon do pole dances in their pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs (and tip handsomely)
7. Pop on some Craig David... the Bo' Selecta Craig David....
8. Blow up my doll
9. Deflate the doll
1. beater oil
2. Chocolate body paint
3. Golden showers
4. I put on my pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine
5. I put on DonJon's pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine.
6. I watch CNJ and DonJon do pole dances in their pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs (and tip handsomely)
7. Pop on some Craig David... the Bo' Selecta Craig David....
8. Blow up my doll
9. Deflate the doll
10. Al Green motherf*ckers
1. Milo
1. Milo
2. My ebook
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
1. Milo
2. My ebook
3. The revolving 'arm' from Montreal
"The world fascinates me."
"Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"
1. Milo
2. My ebook
3. The revolving 'arm' from Montreal
4. Halliburton
1. Milo
2. My ebook
3. The revolving 'arm' from Montreal
4. Halliburton
5. Dr Pepper
1. Milo
2. My ebook
3. The revolving 'arm' from Montreal
4. Halliburton
5. Dr Pepper
6. Stone
"The world fascinates me."
"Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"
1. Milo
2. My ebook
3. The revolving 'arm' from Montreal
4. Halliburton
5. Dr Pepper
6. Stone
7. Ticketmaster