Tell us your funniest joke!

pjfan31

duggro wrote:

what you talkin bout?

i just gave you 3 solid gold stonkers. i cant just pull these out of a hat like some run of the mill jokes. i need time.

And they were classics duggro... But I want I want....

Q)Did you hear about they two gay sailors????

A) They gave each other a tug for christmas

frusciante89

This is terribly politically incorrect but............................
What is the difference between Jack Daniel's and General Custard?












Jack Daniel's is still killing Indians!













i apologize to any Indians

foxymop_stupidmop

Have you heard about the newest STD?

It's called Chirpies.



You know the worst thing about it?















It's untweetable.

pearljamgirl07

the wolf wrote:

One day, three boys was walking and all of a sudden they see George W. Bush drowning.
The three boys, not thinking, jumped down and saved him.
After Bush was saved, he turned to all three of the boys and said "Thanks for saving my life, i will give you guys anything you want."
The first boy said "okay, i want a mercedes". Bush said "Ok."
The second boy says "Ok, i want one million dollars." Bush said "ok".
The last boy said "I want a coffin."
Bush said "why?"
The boy said "my parents will kill me after i tell them who i saved today."

imao!!

pearljamgirl07

pjfan31 wrote:

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"

The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.

The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "quick jacob, Go and fetch your mother."

hahahahaha it's great!!

duggro

whats the difference between an egg and a wank?




















you can beat an egg

Boom The Cat

Okay, I'm not implying anything political here I honestly don't care about that, but it's still a good 'un:

The Pope, George Bush and a Schoolboy are in a plane. The plane is on fire and is soon to crash into the ground killing everyone on board. However, there are only two parachutes.

George Bush says, "Well I'm the most important person here, so I deserve a parachute" and he grabs one and jumps out of the plane with it.

The Pope says to the boy, "Listen Son, I've led a long, illustrious life, you have yours ahead of you. Take the last parachute and save yourself"

The boy says, "It doesn't matter, neither of us have to die, George Bush took my school bag."

dirtyT

How do you get a dog to quit humping your leg?

Pick him up and suck his dick..

How do you kill a Pet Rock?

Tie a rope around it and a cat and throw it in a pond..

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?

He doesn't want people to know he's a chicken fucker..

Boom The Cat

Hahahaha, just read this on bash.org

<Sin> MICHAEL JACKSON DIED TODAY!
<Vincent> WHAT!? how?
<Sin> acute food poisoning
<Sin> he ate some 12 year old nuts

The Pen Is Mightier

"Saying 'I'm sorry' and saying 'I apologize' are the same thing. Except when you are at a funeral."

"I saw a sign that said "Watch For Children". I said "that is not a bad deal. Especially if they are crappy kids"

"I just bought a dictionary the other day. The first word I looked up was the word "Dictionary". It said "You're an asshole"

"When you are a battery you are either working or you're dead. What a shit life"

"This summer I learned at a party that there is a small but important difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing INTO the pool. LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION"

"I remember when I really use to be into nostalgia"

All courtesy of Demitri Martin

pjfan31

I once ate an after dinner mint after breakfast..... It put me out for days.....