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Tell us your funniest joke!

Irish AlIrish Al Posts: 6,236
edited March 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
Its all in the title!

:D
I need a coffee!
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • «¤tîg®ê§§¤»«¤tîg®ê§§¤» Posts: 5,137
    What do you call a Black man who fly's a plane?







    A Pilot you fuckin Racist!!
    he who forgets will be destined to remember
  • Irish AlIrish Al Posts: 6,236
    «¤tîg®ê§§¤» wrote:
    What do you call a Black man who fly's a plane?
    A Pilot you fuckin Racist!!

    Hahahahaha
    I need a coffee!
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    i have a feeling im gonna get thrashed here but here goes







    Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a turkey?




    A: A woman.







    Still don’t get it? Where else would you find a cock gobbler?
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • TrixieCatTrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    the wolf wrote:
    i have a feeling im gonna get thrashed here but here goes







    Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a turkey?




    A: A woman.







    Still don’t get it? Where else would you find a cock gobbler?
    In a gay bathhouse?
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • LizardLizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    TrixieCat wrote:
    In a gay bathhouse?

    oh snap!!

    or in Senator Craig's bathroom stall????!!!!
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • HawkshoreHawkshore Posts: 2,161
    TrixieCat wrote:
    In a gay bathhouse?

    heheheh :D:p
    Van 92.07.21 / Van 98.07.19 / Sea 98.07.22 / Tor 98.08.22 / Sea 00.11.06 / Van 03.05.30/ Van 05.09.02/ Gorge 06.07.22 & 23 / EV Van 08.04.02 / Tor 09.08.21 / Sea 09.09.21 & 22 / Van 09.09.25 / Van 11.09.25 / Van 13.12.04 / Pem 16.07.17 / Sea 18.08.10
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    TrixieCat wrote:
    In a gay bathhouse?

    HA awesome. the joke that keeps on giving. lol
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • Gunner_VGunner_V Posts: 230
    ˇˇthis is the dumbest....ˇˇ

    Q: what is the easiest way to catch a rabbit?

    A: hide in a bush, and whistle like a carrot!
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    Gunner_V wrote:
    ˇˇthis is the dumbest....ˇˇ

    Q: what is the easiest way to catch a rabbit?

    A: hide in a bush, and whistle like a carrot!


    actually, i thought it was funny.
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • «¤tîg®ê§§¤»«¤tîg®ê§§¤» Posts: 5,137
    Gunner_V wrote:
    ˇˇthis is the dumbest....ˇˇ

    Q: what is the easiest way to catch a rabbit?

    A: hide in a bush, and whistle like a carrot!

    BAHAHAhahahaah!!
    Its so silly that its funny!


    What winks and fucks like a Tiger?






    *insert you winking here*
    he who forgets will be destined to remember
  • Gunner_VGunner_V Posts: 230
    the wolf wrote:
    actually, i thought it was funny.

    well,it is,but it's also dumb :D

    like this: what it small,green,wet and flying? SUPER CUCUMBER!
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    A plane was about to crash into the sea. Over the loud speaker, the captain said, 'Right, we're going down so I have a plan of action for our escape. We will all jump out of the plane with parachutes, in alphabetical order, and in order of race. So first we'll have Asians, then blacks, etc. Got it?'

    So events transpired and the blacks were up next. When all but two had jumped, a black man and his young son were still sitting down, quite calmly and bravely.

    'So daddy,' said the son, 'if we didn't jump with the others, what race are we?'

    All of a sudden, the man punched the air and shouted 'We are Zulus!!'
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    One day, three boys was walking and all of a sudden they see George W. Bush drowning.
    The three boys, not thinking, jumped down and saved him.
    After Bush was saved, he turned to all three of the boys and said "Thanks for saving my life, i will give you guys anything you want."
    The first boy said "okay, i want a mercedes". Bush said "Ok."
    The second boy says "Ok, i want one million dollars." Bush said "ok".
    The last boy said "I want a coffin."
    Bush said "why?"
    The boy said "my parents will kill me after i tell them who i saved today."
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • lockedlocked Boston Posts: 4,039
    q: Why does divorce cost so much?












    a: because its worth it!
    "This here's a REQUEST!"
    EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
    10/25/13 Hartford
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    locked wrote:
    q: Why does divorce cost so much?












    a: because its worth it!

    so true. : )
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • Local CrewLocal Crew Posts: 745
    how do you catch a polar bear?


    cut a hole in the ice and line it with peas. when the polar bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ice hole.

    good on so many levels!!!
    Walk Tall, Kick Ass, Learn to Speak Arabic, Love Music, and Never Forget You Come From a Long Line of Truth Seekers, Lovers, and Warriors. HST

    CHILLIN LIKE BOB DYLAN!!!
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    elderlywoman wrote:
    how do you catch a polar bear?


    cut a hole in the ice and line it with peas. when the polar bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ice hole.

    good on so many levels!!!


    yes it is!
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    Lil’ Johnny went to the drugstore for some condoms.
    He walked up to the druggist and asked, "Sir, can you tell me where the ribbed condoms are?"
    The druggist asked, "Son, do you know what condoms are used for?"
    "Sure do," replied Johnny, "they keep you from getting veneral diseases."
    "O.K." said the druggist, "do you know what the ribs are for??" Lil’ Johnny thought for a minute, then looked up at the druggist and replied,
    "Well, not exactly, but they sure do make the hair on my goat’s back stand up."
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • Irish AlIrish Al Posts: 6,236
    Keep them coming...these are fookin great :D
    I need a coffee!
  • pjfan31pjfan31 Posts: 7,335
    Whats green and smells like bacon?????

    Kermits fingers
    Sydney 11/02/2003
    Sydney 14/02/2003
    Sydney 07/11/2006
    Sydney 18/11/2006
    Sydney 22/11/2009
    EV Sydney 18/03/2011
    EV Sydney 19/03/2011
    EV Sydney 20/03/2011
    Melbourne 24/01/2014
    Sydney 26/01/2014
    EV Sydney 13/02/2014
  • Irish AlIrish Al Posts: 6,236
    pjfan31 wrote:
    Whats green and smells like bacon?????

    Kermits fingers

    Hahahahahaha I've got to stop laughing out loud in the office :rolleyes:
    I need a coffee!
  • pjfan31pjfan31 Posts: 7,335
    An Irish man an aussie and a japanese man were on a deserted Island after their plane crashed.

    The Irishman took controll and said"Right I'm going to get some fire wood, you(pointing to the aussie) get water to keep us hydrated and you (the japanese) get some supplies to keep us going. We will meet back here in an hour.

    The Irishman was the 1st one back he had the fire wood, then the aussie came back with the water and they waited for the japanese man. They waited and waited and then the Irishman said maybe we should go and find him.

    So they set off to find him, they walked for about 2 minutes when the japanese man came jumping out from behind a rock shouting "SUPPLIES"
    Sydney 11/02/2003
    Sydney 14/02/2003
    Sydney 07/11/2006
    Sydney 18/11/2006
    Sydney 22/11/2009
    EV Sydney 18/03/2011
    EV Sydney 19/03/2011
    EV Sydney 20/03/2011
    Melbourne 24/01/2014
    Sydney 26/01/2014
    EV Sydney 13/02/2014
  • pjfan31pjfan31 Posts: 7,335
    (this is rude so if easily offended do not read on)

    A retard walked into an ice cream shop and said "can I have one ice cream"

    The ice cream man said "certainly young man, but what flavour woul you like?"

    And the retard said "oh, it doesn't matter, Its only going to fall on the ground anyway"
    Sydney 11/02/2003
    Sydney 14/02/2003
    Sydney 07/11/2006
    Sydney 18/11/2006
    Sydney 22/11/2009
    EV Sydney 18/03/2011
    EV Sydney 19/03/2011
    EV Sydney 20/03/2011
    Melbourne 24/01/2014
    Sydney 26/01/2014
    EV Sydney 13/02/2014
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    the wolf wrote:
    the joke that keeps on giving. lol

    It didn't remind me anything of herpes.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • SpunkieSpunkie i come from downtown. Posts: 6,811
    edited October 2023
    pjfan31 wrote:
    An Irish man an aussie and a japanese man were on a deserted Island after their plane crashed.

    The Irishman took controll and said"Right I'm going to get some fire wood, you(pointing to the aussie) get water to keep us hydrated and you (the japanese) get some supplies to keep us going. We will meet back here in an hour.

    The Irishman was the 1st one back he had the fire wood, then the aussie came back with the water and they waited for the japanese man. They waited and waited and then the Irishman said maybe we should go and find him.

    So they set off to find him, they walked for about 2 minutes when the japanese man came jumping out from behind a rock shouting "SUPPLIES"

    .
    Post edited by Spunkie on
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    tish wrote:
    *tish* don't laugh out loud while greeting the funeral goers!


    oh no!!! are you serious!!! lol
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • SpunkieSpunkie i come from downtown. Posts: 6,811
    edited October 2023
    .
    Post edited by Spunkie on
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    tish wrote:
    yup :D



    Tish : "welcome, im sorry for your loss, BWAAAAHAHAHAHA , no really i am"


    lol
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • monster95monster95 Posts: 127
    guy goes to a fancy dress party naked with a woman on his back
    he's asked..what have you come as?
    a tortoise he replies.
    well,who's she he's asked

    thats michelle !!! hahahahahaha
    I plan to live forever.so far so good !
  • The Great CornholioThe Great Cornholio Posts: 157
    A girl came skipping home from school one day.

    "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled "we were counting today and all the other
    kids could only count to 4, but I counted to 10. See? 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!"

    "Very good!", said her mother.

    "Is it because I'm blonde?"

    "Yes, it's because your blonde," said mother.

    The next day the girl came skipping home from school. " Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, all all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,B,C,D,E,F,G!"

    "Very Good!," said her mother.

    "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

    "Yes it's because your blond!"

    The following day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy,
    Mommy," she yelled, "we were in Gym class today, and when we showered
    all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" She lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36C's.

    "Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

    "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

    "No Honey, it's because you're 24."
    ...Pearl Jam, a group filled with pride, passion, and intricate musicianship. Their music is full of subtle textures, rich color, soul-searching power, imagery, and eerie dissonance.
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