A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer, and goes to Human Resources. Without identifying the guy, she tells them what the co-worker does, and that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him.
The HR supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies, "It's Keith......the midget"
...Pearl Jam, a group filled with pride, passion, and intricate musicianship. Their music is full of subtle textures, rich color, soul-searching power, imagery, and eerie dissonance.
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.
The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "quick jacob, Go and fetch your mother."
Sydney 11/02/2003
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
Sydney 11/02/2003
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
i just gave you 3 solid gold stonkers. i cant just pull these out of a hat like some run of the mill jokes. i need time.
And they were classics duggro... But I want I want....
Q)Did you hear about they two gay sailors????
A) They gave each other a tug for christmas
Sydney 11/02/2003
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
One day, three boys was walking and all of a sudden they see George W. Bush drowning.
The three boys, not thinking, jumped down and saved him.
After Bush was saved, he turned to all three of the boys and said "Thanks for saving my life, i will give you guys anything you want."
The first boy said "okay, i want a mercedes". Bush said "Ok."
The second boy says "Ok, i want one million dollars." Bush said "ok".
The last boy said "I want a coffin."
Bush said "why?"
The boy said "my parents will kill me after i tell them who i saved today."
imao!!
"You're the eve of my destruction in the garden of fears"
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.
The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "quick jacob, Go and fetch your mother."
hahahahaha it's great!!
"You're the eve of my destruction in the garden of fears"
Okay, I'm not implying anything political here I honestly don't care about that, but it's still a good 'un:
The Pope, George Bush and a Schoolboy are in a plane. The plane is on fire and is soon to crash into the ground killing everyone on board. However, there are only two parachutes.
George Bush says, "Well I'm the most important person here, so I deserve a parachute" and he grabs one and jumps out of the plane with it.
The Pope says to the boy, "Listen Son, I've led a long, illustrious life, you have yours ahead of you. Take the last parachute and save yourself"
The boy says, "It doesn't matter, neither of us have to die, George Bush took my school bag."
"Saying 'I'm sorry' and saying 'I apologize' are the same thing. Except when you are at a funeral."
"I saw a sign that said "Watch For Children". I said "that is not a bad deal. Especially if they are crappy kids"
"I just bought a dictionary the other day. The first word I looked up was the word "Dictionary". It said "You're an asshole"
"When you are a battery you are either working or you're dead. What a shit life"
"This summer I learned at a party that there is a small but important difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing INTO the pool. LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION"
"I remember when I really use to be into nostalgia"
All courtesy of Demitri Martin
Drunk by noon but that's ok
I'll be president someday
I have been to, and have the following posters framed:
Hartford 96,
Boston 98, 2000, 2003, 2004, 2006
I once ate an after dinner mint after breakfast..... It put me out for days.....
Sydney 11/02/2003
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
Comments
The HR supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies, "It's Keith......the midget"
Yea, he came out of the cabinet.
LOL
Did you hear about the midget who committed suicide?
Yea, he jumped off the curb.
LOL
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
so the barman gives her one
me in my lucky blue coat
(only works if you've heard the original version so much it just aint funny anymore
cover it in petrol and light a match
(for the record i love kittens and do not condone kitten igniting in any way, shape or form.)
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.
The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "quick jacob, Go and fetch your mother."
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
...
Ug Lee.
Hail, Hail!!!
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
i just gave you 3 solid gold stonkers. i cant just pull these out of a hat like some run of the mill jokes. i need time.
And they were classics duggro... But I want I want....
Q)Did you hear about they two gay sailors????
A) They gave each other a tug for christmas
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
What is the difference between Jack Daniel's and General Custard?
Jack Daniel's is still killing Indians!
i apologize to any Indians
It's called Chirpies.
You know the worst thing about it?
It's untweetable.
hahahahaha it's great!!
you can beat an egg
The Pope, George Bush and a Schoolboy are in a plane. The plane is on fire and is soon to crash into the ground killing everyone on board. However, there are only two parachutes.
George Bush says, "Well I'm the most important person here, so I deserve a parachute" and he grabs one and jumps out of the plane with it.
The Pope says to the boy, "Listen Son, I've led a long, illustrious life, you have yours ahead of you. Take the last parachute and save yourself"
The boy says, "It doesn't matter, neither of us have to die, George Bush took my school bag."
there you are.
- brain of c
Pick him up and suck his dick..
How do you kill a Pet Rock?
Tie a rope around it and a cat and throw it in a pond..
Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?
He doesn't want people to know he's a chicken fucker..
<Sin> MICHAEL JACKSON DIED TODAY!
<Vincent> WHAT!? how?
<Sin> acute food poisoning
<Sin> he ate some 12 year old nuts
there you are.
- brain of c
"I saw a sign that said "Watch For Children". I said "that is not a bad deal. Especially if they are crappy kids"
"I just bought a dictionary the other day. The first word I looked up was the word "Dictionary". It said "You're an asshole"
"When you are a battery you are either working or you're dead. What a shit life"
"This summer I learned at a party that there is a small but important difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing INTO the pool. LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION"
"I remember when I really use to be into nostalgia"
All courtesy of Demitri Martin
I'll be president someday
I have been to, and have the following posters framed:
Hartford 96,
Boston 98, 2000, 2003, 2004, 2006
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014