How important is it to have/not have someone "significant" in your life?

Zanne

Everyone in my life is significant to me, or else they would not be part of my life.. So I guess it's pretty important.

you are

nothingman44 wrote:

after my last girlfriend, its not that important to me anymore at all.

if i am single for the rest of my life, i'm be glad to not have to deal with that bullshit again.

i know! right now i don't need that in my life. the last guy was a pathological liar. and a damn good one too! he was dating two other girls and took us all ring shopping! :eek: how do some people sleep at night?

genie

Boo-ya wrote:

Everyone always says that it is not "that" important, there is much more to life then having a "significant other," but those are usually the people who already has someone...
thoughts???

i'm a bit weird when it comes to this, my significant other can be my soul mate, but that soul mate doesn't have to be my husband/partner.
in fact i'd prefer that "significant other" i.e. soul mate not to be sexually involved with me, so that person can be either man or a woman, and be much older or younger than me.

yes, i'm a weirdo

but i can guarantee i will love and care for that person for as long as i die, but unfortunately finding soul mate is near to impossible......

and that's where having a partner comes in i'll be less picky when choosing a partner/husband/boyfriend

OneLove

I think it depends on where you are in life.

I ended a 7 year relationship last year with the guy I thought for my whole adult life I was going to marry. It was one of the toughest processes I have ever been through. But, I ended up feeling much more like myself afterword.

Sounds strange, but I am a happier person living with my folks (taking care of my Dad while he battles caner), and with my dogs then I ever felt when I had "the dream life" complete with a house, yard, and white pickett fence. I already had what people say they want...but it wasn't with the right person. Its empowering to know that you can walk away from all of that in order to be truely happy.

I focus now on getting to know people, not wanting to define a relationship just for a relationships sake. I'm not out there looking to be anyones girlfriend...but if it happens it happens.

I do, however, miss SEX in a big way.

Kilgore_Trout

i always prefer to have someone in my life... and very seldomly do... its the people that dont care that always seem to have someone and mistreat them... but i guess girls go for those cool indifferent guys :rolleyes:

OneLove

sgossard3 wrote:

i always prefer to have someone in my life... and very seldomly do... its the people that dont care that always seem to have someone and mistreat them... but i guess girls go for those cool indifferent guys :rolleyes:

Intelligent chicks out grow that phase though...eventually.

ForestBrain

I don't have a significant other and quite honestly, I'm very content. I view it as something that should just happen. To be really honest, I avoid it because it's such a distraction. I've got enough going on in my life right now.

Heineken Helen

It all depends on how happy YOU are. I was very very happy when I was single, life was great... now I'm in a great relationship and I'm just as happy, but now I have someone to share everything with, a partner in crime . Sometimes life throws ya lemons and it's good to have somebody to hug you and say 'it will be ok'. If you don't have that, it can seem worse than it actually is. It's not just sharing the happiness, it's halving the burden too!

Heineken Helen

you are wrote:

not really. life is what you make it. if you end up single then maybe you were meant to be single, but you can still have an exciting life! i say to live life to the fullest and if/when i find the right one, i'll know and it will be worth the wait. also, being single helps you to know more about yourself. i've talked to friends of mine that say sometimes it's hard, when you're in a relationship, to stay true to yourself. that's not always the case, but at least you know that while you're single you can be as selfish as you want.

Absolutely :eek: I was pretty much single for about 7 or 8 years (couple of small relationships here and there) and I really really got to know myself and this definitely makes you stronger. I think it was very very beneficial for me to be single all that time.

Heineken Helen

Boo-ya wrote:

it is just too bad that for some life will never be completely fulfilled either do to not finding that person or finding someone you just settled for. But, that is why there are winners and losers in life, some of us are just born losers.

Only if YOU think you're a loser... sure there are always people who will look down on others for whatever reason... but people live all different kinds of lives and you choose what's good for YOU, not what everyone else wants for you. You're completely in control of your own life. If you're single and want to be in a relationship, just date and date and date... you'll have some disasters but you'll learn much more about what you're actually looking for in a person and you'll become much more comfortable being around other people. And eventually one of those just might be the one.

Heineken Helen

Boo-ya wrote:

a question to those who say "I am happy being single:" you do not think life would be better if you were in love? If someone handed you love, you wouldnt take it? Those people who are desirable have those options, people who are not do not have those options. I do not believe it when people say they are "happy being single." To me it is just a excuse to not scratch below the surface to figure out why you are undesirable to others.

Just cos you're single does NOT make you undesirable to others . Being single AND being in a relationship both have their ups and downs but it's still up to you to make the most of whichever one you are. Nobody else will do that for you. Even desirable people don't get HANDED love... you have to love that person back. And it's perfectly easy to be happy being single... you need to change your attitude. If you think you're undesirable it could be because not many people love misery!

Whizbang

pjhawks wrote:

I think it's as important as YOU make it be. I'm single and as great as it would be to have that significant other or soulmate to me if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen. I've learned to embrace that I am single so I can often do things my married friends don't or can't. I think it's much more important to be happy with YOURSELF whether you have a significant other or not.

Amen to that. I'm happily single and happy with myself. would I enjoy a significant other? you bet. but I'm not living my life in search of one. As you said, if it happens, it happens.

SENROCK

Boo-ya wrote:

Everyone always says that it is not "that" important, there is much more to life then having a "significant other," but those are usually the people who already has someone...
thoughts???

I agree with the above statement and I have NO ONE!!! There are a certain...few that I would not mind having as a significant other but does not mean I am a mess or sadd becuz i dont have them yet! Being single is great. Having someone to share important details of life is an added bonus!