How important is it to have/not have someone "significant" in your life?

13

Comments

  • you are
    you are Posts: 1,651
    patrickredeyes wrote:
    Nah I'm fine actually.


    I'm alive and I have a great family and frends.


    good, glad to hear it :)
    No need to be void, or save up on life...
    You got to spend it all
  • rjbukowski
    rjbukowski Posts: 117
    a question to those who say "I am happy being single:" you do not think life would be better if you were in love? If someone handed you love, you wouldnt take it? Those people who are desirable have those options, people who are not do not have those options. I do not believe it when people say they are "happy being single." To me it is just a excuse to not scratch below the surface to figure out why you are undesirable to others.
  • AmentsChick
    AmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    Boo-ya wrote:
    a question to those who say "I am happy being single:" you do not think life would be better if you were in love? If someone handed you love, you wouldnt take it? Those people who are desirable have those options, people who are not do not have those options. I do not believe it when people say they are "happy being single." To me it is just a excuse to not scratch below the surface to figure out why you are undesirable to others.

    DUH! I love being in a relationship and if I met an amazing man I wouldn't hesitate to be in one. But, to say I'm unhappy because I'm NOT in one would be ridiculous! I have wonderful friends, family, hobbies...why would I base my happiness solely on one person? That's just crazy talk...not to mention unhealthy!!
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • EvilMerlin
    EvilMerlin Posts: 1,865
    Boo-ya wrote:
    Here is the thing, that whole "be happy with yourself" is a bunch of crap. Why are we here??? To associate with others, to have children, to make those "connections" with others. If the others think you are, for a lack of a better term, a "loser," then you will not be able to fulfill what living is about and you can not be happy with yourself if you are undesirable to others and thus not able to make "connections"

    Why does living just have to be about that? If that's the case I see myself in a dead end life.

    I don't have a significant other, and I don't even have a best friend. And I actually kind of like it that way. Everyone around me knows pieces about me and they're close to me, but nobody significant yet. I'm too young for that, and I might think I always am.

    My life right now that fulfills me are my dogs, and my nephews. I take my nephew to wrestling because nobody else can stand watching that fake crap, and he gets me into it and it's a great time. We can get up and go any time. I go to the beach with my dogs, and let them be free and see how happy they are with a change of scenery other than the back yard or our jogs. I like spending the time that I do get to have with my three buddies, one of which is married, the other engaged, and the other getting ready to get engaged. So when one of them becomes free for a night I can break up whatever I'm doing in a five minute phone call and meet them somewhere.

    My significant other right now is that I don't have one. Nothing that ties me down, nothing to worry about, and all my time can be used to how I see it best fit. There's so much that I like to do and so much that I want to do. But having that significant other also takes up so much work and time itself.

    So what makes me happy is that I can spread my time around easilly while I still can and that's what makes me happy. It's all what you find fulfilling in life. Sure there's rough patches, but there also is when you're with a significant other as well.

    It's your life, and you find your own reasons to live. If someone wants to share that with you and you want to share that with them, consider yourself lucky. But if that's your purpose, then it seems to me you're playing into a role that others want to see you fit into rather than just finding what fulfills you.

    Lonliness sucks, but you gotta learn to embrace it. It's something that's not going to leave.
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    AmentsChick wrote:
    DUH! I love being in a relationship and if I met an amazing man I wouldn't hesitate to be in one. But, to say I'm unhappy because I'm NOT in one would be ridiculous! I have wonderful friends, family, hobbies...why would I base my happiness solely on one person? That's just crazy talk...not to mention unhealthy!!


    thanks m....you said it better than i could.....:)
  • comebackwoman
    comebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    Boo-ya wrote:
    a question to those who say "I am happy being single:" you do not think life would be better if you were in love? If someone handed you love, you wouldnt take it? Those people who are desirable have those options, people who are not do not have those options. I do not believe it when people say they are "happy being single." To me it is just a excuse to not scratch below the surface to figure out why you are undesirable to others.
    If someone handed me millions of dollars I sure as hell wouldn't turn it down, but I'm very happy even though I'm not rich. A relationship (or money) doesn't make or break your happiness.
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • rjbukowski
    rjbukowski Posts: 117
    I am not saying it determines if you are happy or not, I am saying that at some point in your life you will feel unfulfilled if you do not have someone to come home to...some point you will. And to know that there is a good chance that it will never happen, makes you question part of who you are. Why do so many other people have the ability to attract a mate while you do not, that doesnt make you question a part of you???
  • you are
    you are Posts: 1,651
    Boo-ya wrote:
    I am not saying it determines if you are happy or not, I am saying that at some point in your life you will feel unfulfilled if you do not have someone to come home to...some point you will. And to know that there is a good chance that it will never happen, makes you question part of who you are. Why do so many other people have the ability to attract a mate while you do not, that doesnt make you question a part of you???


    how old are you? maybe now is just not the right time for you.
    No need to be void, or save up on life...
    You got to spend it all
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    Boo-ya wrote:
    I am not saying it determines if you are happy or not, I am saying that at some point in your life you will feel unfulfilled if you do not have someone to come home to...some point you will. And to know that there is a good chance that it will never happen, makes you question part of who you are. Why do so many other people have the ability to attract a mate while you do not, that doesnt make you question a part of you???

    i have the ability to attract a "mate" but i have CHOSEN not to at this point in my life....perhaps someday i will change my mind....
  • rjbukowski
    rjbukowski Posts: 117
    I think by the time you hit 31 you have a good idea of what kind of person you are and what you will have and not have
  • AmentsChick
    AmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    cutback wrote:
    thanks m....you said it better than i could.....:)
    I think it's pretty much how we all feel, right??
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • eyedclaar
    eyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    cutback wrote:
    i have the ability to attract a "mate" but i have CHOSEN not to at this point in my life....perhaps someday i will change my mind....


    It's true. His tailfeathers are quite magnificant!
    Idaho's Premier Outdoor Writer

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  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    AmentsChick wrote:
    I think it's pretty much how we all feel, right??

    damn straight! :)
  • AmentsChick
    AmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    cutback wrote:
    i have the ability to attract a "mate" but i have CHOSEN not to at this point in my life....perhaps someday i will change my mind....

    How can you just disregard Norman so easily? :( :p
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • EvilMerlin
    EvilMerlin Posts: 1,865
    Boo-ya wrote:
    I think by the time you hit 31 you have a good idea of what kind of person you are and what you will have and not have

    31? Are you kidding me?

    A friend of mine was so against significant others his whole life, and said he'd never get married. Was never looking for it, and always lived the greatest life. Until he turned 42 when someone came around and completely changed his mind just because of who she was. He's now 44 and getting married this summer.

    Age has got nothing to do with it.
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    AmentsChick wrote:
    How can you just disregard Norman so easily? : ( :p

    hey i love normie.....but "mate"? :eek: :p:D
    EvilMerlin wrote:
    31? Are you kidding me?

    A friend of mine was so against significant others his whole life, and said he'd never get married. Was never looking for it, and always lived the greatest life. Until he turned 42 when someone came around and completely changed his mind just because of who she was. He's now 44 and getting married this summer.

    Age has got nothing to do with it.


    say it brother!!! amen!! :D
  • EvilMerlin
    EvilMerlin Posts: 1,865
    cutback wrote:
    hey i love normie.....but "mate"? :eek: :p:D




    say it brother!!! amen!! :D

    AGE HAAAAAS GOT NOTHING TO DOOOOO WITH IT MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS!

    Seriously, I'm so sick of all this strain people put on age. Now there are some things that age does come into play with...ie biological and medical issues that come with it.

    As far as happiness and who/what you get along with? Age has got nothing to do with it for adults.

    I had a friend trying to talk me into finding a girl and getting married...I told him I'm 25, I don't need to focus on that and he says "you're not getting any younger! And all the good ones are getting scooped up."

    People use age as an excuse/or for proof to serve their point far too often. It's just not as relevant as often as people like to think it is.
  • patrickredeyes
    patrickredeyes Posts: 8,834
    EvilMerlin wrote:
    AGE HAAAAAS GOT NOTHING TO DOOOOO WITH IT MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS!

    Seriously, I'm so sick of all this strain people put on age. Now there are some things that age does come into play with...ie biological and medical issues that come with it.

    As far as happiness and who/what you get along with? Age has got nothing to do with it for adults.

    I had a friend trying to talk me into finding a girl and getting married...I told him I'm 25, I don't need to focus on that and he says "you're not getting any younger! And all the good ones are getting scooped up."

    People use age as an excuse/or for proof to serve their point far too often. It's just not as relevant as often as people like to think it is.


    Age is just a number. :D
  • nothingman44
    nothingman44 Posts: 1,496
    after my last girlfriend, its not that important to me anymore at all.

    if i am single for the rest of my life, i'm be glad to not have to deal with that bullshit again.
  • EvilMerlin
    EvilMerlin Posts: 1,865
    patrickredeyes wrote:
    Age is just a number. :D

    That's all I ever say. And that's it's man-made! That always gets me in with the 'more experienced' ladies at the bar. :p

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