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How important is it to have/not have someone "significant" in your life?

rjbukowskirjbukowski Posts: 117
edited May 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
Everyone always says that it is not "that" important, there is much more to life then having a "significant other," but those are usually the people who already has someone...
thoughts???
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  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    Different for everyone I suppose. I may have already drank myself to death or been imprisoned for drug or violence related issues if not for my other. Glad she's around...
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  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Different for everyone I suppose. I may have already drank myself to death or been imprisoned for drug or violence related issues if not for my other. Glad she's around...



    :D


    i like this answer.

    tis true, it is entirely individual.


    that said, for ME...it is of GREAT importance to have my significant other in my life. now, if i did not have him....i am sure my life would be full and happy too, so not saying my happiness depends on having a significant other. however, i know myself and my wants/desires...and having someone so special in my life, to share life with.....yeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaa.......
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • comebackwomancomebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    for me...it's very important. I usually like spending time with one person...someone that I can relax with and feel really comfortable with...someone who really *gets me*...maybe if I enjoyed spending time with more people it wouldn't matter as much...but I am happiest when I do have a significant other.
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • rjbukowskirjbukowski Posts: 117
    Once again, all the answers have come from people who already have someone (from what I can tell). I guess the real question is for people like me who wants someone but will most likely not have that "other" from what I have determined. I know this is a poor way to ask it, but is having a significant other more important when you have them or when you do not?
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    As a wise man once said, "I'll ride the wave where it takes me".
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • PJammin'PJammin' Posts: 1,902
    it's important to have love...now whether U find a significant other that's entirely up to U.
    I died. I died and you just stood there. I died and you watched. I died and you walked by and said no. I'm dead.
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    PJammin' wrote:
    it's important to have love...now whether U find a significant other that's entirely up to U.



    agreed most definitely.
    however, there is love...and then there's romantic love. both are important, but most definitely different too.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • edvedder913edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    Boo-ya wrote:
    Once again, all the answers have come from people who already have someone (from what I can tell). I guess the real question is for people like me who wants someone but will most likely not have that "other" from what I have determined. I know this is a poor way to ask it, but is having a significant other more important when you have them or when you do not?


    I currently do NOT have one. I got divorced 5 years ago - so I know what it is like to have and have not. Within those 5 years, I had one big love, otherwise pretty much just dated.

    I am a one guy kind of girl...I like having 1 special man in my life. It is pretty important to me. I like sharing my world with someone - as long as they are worth it ;)
  • pjhawkspjhawks Posts: 12,593
    I think it's as important as YOU make it be. I'm single and as great as it would be to have that significant other or soulmate to me if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen. I've learned to embrace that I am single so I can often do things my married friends don't or can't. I think it's much more important to be happy with YOURSELF whether you have a significant other or not.
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    edvedder913 wrote:
    I currently do NOT have one. I got divorced 5 years ago - so I know what it is like to have and have not. Within those 5 years, I had one big love, otherwise pretty much just dated.

    I am a one guy kind of girl...I like having 1 special man in my life. It is pretty important to me. I like sharing my world with someone - as long as they are worth it ;)


    absolutely!
    :)


    oooooooo...gem here too:
    pjhawks wrote:
    I think it's as important as YOU make it be. I'm single and as great as it would be to have that significant other or soulmate to me if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen. I've learned to embrace that I am single so I can often do things my married friends don't or can't. I think it's much more important to be happy with YOURSELF whether you have a significant other or not.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • AllNiteThingAllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    edvedder913 wrote:
    I currently do NOT have one. I got divorced 5 years ago - so I know what it is like to have and have not. Within those 5 years, I had one big love, otherwise pretty much just dated.

    I am a one guy kind of girl...I like having 1 special man in my life. It is pretty important to me. I like sharing my world with someone - as long as they are worth it ;)


    There's nothing like having that someone who's always there for you no matter what. Being single and free certainly has its advantages, but not in the long term, IMO

    I was in a 4 year relationship and a handful of 1 year ones. I've been single now about 2 years and have enjoyed most of it, but I'm at the point now where I realize life is so much better when you have someone you care about to share it with.
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    AllNiteThing wrote:
    life is so much better when you have someone you care about to share it with.
    This I agree with 100000%!
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • rjbukowskirjbukowski Posts: 117
    Here is the thing, that whole "be happy with yourself" is a bunch of crap. Why are we here??? To associate with others, to have children, to make those "connections" with others. If the others think you are, for a lack of a better term, a "loser," then you will not be able to fulfill what living is about and you can not be happy with yourself if you are undesirable to others and thus not able to make "connections"
  • patrickredeyespatrickredeyes Posts: 8,834
    Being single is great and all and I enjoy it most of the time. But those moments when it isn't it kinda hurts sometimes. I've learned to just deal with it and keeping moving on with my life. You never know what's around the bend. :)
  • PJammin'PJammin' Posts: 1,902
    Boo-ya wrote:
    Here is the thing, that whole "be happy with yourself" is a bunch of crap. Why are we here???

    no...it's not a bunch of crap.

    why are we here? that depends how you look at life. my reason would be different than the next person's.
    I died. I died and you just stood there. I died and you watched. I died and you walked by and said no. I'm dead.
  • you areyou are Posts: 1,651
    patrickredeyes wrote:
    Being single is great and all and I enjoy it most of the time. But those moments when it isn't it kinda hurts sometimes. I've learned to just deal with it and keeping moving on with my life. You never know what's around the bend. :)


    very true, i feel the same way. i do like my singleness at the moment, but there are times when i wish i had someone with me, a companion. like when there's a death in my family, i'm at home alone, dealing with it, alone. or even going to mom's house for Christmas.....sometimes, i'd rather open gifts with my significant other on Christmas morning instead of feeling like a kid at mom's....but she does spoil me because i'm single. so there are some advantages. :o
    No need to be void, or save up on life...
    You got to spend it all
  • rjbukowskirjbukowski Posts: 117
    Just my opinion, obviously, but I feel that people who are single and saying that "they are happy" are just not admiting that they are failing at a certain aspect in their life. I understand relationships is not the only thing in life, but it is a big piece of it.
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    PJammin' wrote:
    no...it's not a bunch of crap.

    why are we here? that depends how you look at life. my reason would be different than the next person's.


    VERY very true!
    many people remain single their whole lives.....and/or do not have children. you can have amazing and wonderful connections, rich and full life, with or without a significant other. you have friends, extended family, etc. life is what you make of it.


    i have always thought, and have said, i personally think some people not being able to bear children, and homosexuality....is actually MEANT to be, so that there are people to help/support others - not just be focused on their 'own' family. the whole 'it takes a village' bit and all that. one can have a fantastic life, make HUGE contributions to the world/humanity...without ever being coupled or procreating.


    no one is 'failing' at a certain portion of their lives. it's a choice. and even if one eventully wants to couple, and/or have a family...for the time being, one can enjoy and feel fulfilled being single too. and yes, i already 'admitted' in my first post, that for ME, being coupled is my preference. but i also would NEVER just 'settle' with someone, simply to have someone.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • you areyou are Posts: 1,651
    Boo-ya wrote:
    Just my opinion, obviously, but I feel that people who are single and saying that "they are happy" are just not admiting that they are failing at a certain aspect in their life. I understand relationships is not the only thing in life, but it is a big piece of it.

    ok, i can see what you're saying.....but looking at yourself like there is something wrong with you or saying that you are failing (just because you're single) is wrong too. being single does not mean you're a failure.

    that's how i read what you posted. if that's not what you're saying then please correct me.
    No need to be void, or save up on life...
    You got to spend it all
  • PJammin'PJammin' Posts: 1,902
    Boo-ya wrote:
    Just my opinion, obviously, but I feel that people who are single and saying that "they are happy" are just not admiting that they are failing at a certain aspect in their life.

    i hate to say it, but that is a very ignorant statement. just because you are single doesn't mean you're failing at anything. they're called "choices," my friend.
    I died. I died and you just stood there. I died and you watched. I died and you walked by and said no. I'm dead.
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    I'd rather be single and happy than in a relationship with the wrong person.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • rjbukowskirjbukowski Posts: 117
    So you are saying being single is a "choice?" So if i really wanted someone I could have someone...not true. It takes two to tango, you can not tell someone to be your "other" if they do not find you desirable.
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    Boo-ya wrote:
    So you are saying being single is a "choice?" So if i really wanted someone I could have someone...not true. It takes two to tango, you can not tell someone to be your "other" if they do not find you desirable.

    To an extent it IS a choice. I could absolutely run out, meet a guy, and jump into a relationship...however meeting the "right" person is where the "un-choice" comes into play.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • PJammin'PJammin' Posts: 1,902
    Boo-ya wrote:
    So you are saying being single is a "choice?" So if i really wanted someone I could have someone...not true. It takes two to tango, you can not tell someone to be your "other" if they do not find you desirable.

    for some people being single IS a choice. if you really wanted someone...yes...you could have it. it's just a matter of finding the right one for you. some people that "you want" may not be the best match for you.
    I died. I died and you just stood there. I died and you watched. I died and you walked by and said no. I'm dead.
  • you areyou are Posts: 1,651
    AmentsChick wrote:
    I'd rather be single and happy than in a relationship with the wrong person.


    exactly! that's why i'm still single. i've seen too many people go through a divorce and it is not pretty. i never want to go through that. i do want to get married someday, but it will be with the right person. i never want to settle on someone just so i won't be alone.
    No need to be void, or save up on life...
    You got to spend it all
  • rjbukowskirjbukowski Posts: 117
    I agree, I do not want to settle either, but eventually when you get past up by all the people who you want you will either have to accept being single or settle, so either way you are screwed
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    you are wrote:
    exactly! that's why i'm still single. i've seen too many people go through a divorce and it is not pretty. i never want to go through that. i do want to get married someday, but it will be with the right person. i never want to settle on someone just so i won't be alone.

    Well said! A lot of my friends have already gotten divorced...one of them 3 times!!!...and she's only in her mid-30s!! Being single is a hell of a lot easier and less costly.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • xavier mcdanielxavier mcdaniel Somewhere in NYC Posts: 9,306
    friends are significant, not necessarily significant others but they're important.
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  • PJammin'PJammin' Posts: 1,902
    AmentsChick wrote:
    Well said! A lot of my friends have already gotten divorced...one of them 3 times!!!...and she's only in her mid-30s!!

    poor jill. :D
    I died. I died and you just stood there. I died and you watched. I died and you walked by and said no. I'm dead.
  • patrickredeyespatrickredeyes Posts: 8,834
    you are wrote:
    very true, i feel the same way. i do like my singleness at the moment, but there are times when i wish i had someone with me, a companion. like when there's a death in my family, i'm at home alone, dealing with it, alone. or even going to mom's house for Christmas.....sometimes, i'd rather open gifts with my significant other on Christmas morning instead of feeling like a kid at mom's....but she does spoil me because i'm single. so there are some advantages. :o

    I totally know what you mean about being alone and having to deal with stuff.
    I've had alot of situations thrown at me and it would be so nice to have someone there to soften the blow. Just to relax and tell me it will be ok. Friends are there for you but sometimes you need just a little bit more.

    Ok well I feel depressed now. LOL
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