How important is it to have/not have someone "significant" in your life?

rjbukowski

Everyone always says that it is not "that" important, there is much more to life then having a "significant other," but those are usually the people who already has someone...
thoughts???

eyedclaar

Different for everyone I suppose. I may have already drank myself to death or been imprisoned for drug or violence related issues if not for my other. Glad she's around...

decides2dream

eyedclaar wrote:

Different for everyone I suppose. I may have already drank myself to death or been imprisoned for drug or violence related issues if not for my other. Glad she's around...

i like this answer.

tis true, it is entirely individual.


that said, for ME...it is of GREAT importance to have my significant other in my life. now, if i did not have him....i am sure my life would be full and happy too, so not saying my happiness depends on having a significant other. however, i know myself and my wants/desires...and having someone so special in my life, to share life with.....yeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaa.......

comebackwoman

for me...it's very important. I usually like spending time with one person...someone that I can relax with and feel really comfortable with...someone who really *gets me*...maybe if I enjoyed spending time with more people it wouldn't matter as much...but I am happiest when I do have a significant other.

rjbukowski

Once again, all the answers have come from people who already have someone (from what I can tell). I guess the real question is for people like me who wants someone but will most likely not have that "other" from what I have determined. I know this is a poor way to ask it, but is having a significant other more important when you have them or when you do not?

AmentsChick

As a wise man once said, "I'll ride the wave where it takes me".

PJammin'

it's important to have love...now whether U find a significant other that's entirely up to U.

decides2dream

PJammin' wrote:

it's important to have love...now whether U find a significant other that's entirely up to U.

agreed most definitely.
however, there is love...and then there's romantic love. both are important, but most definitely different too.

edvedder913

Boo-ya wrote:

Once again, all the answers have come from people who already have someone (from what I can tell). I guess the real question is for people like me who wants someone but will most likely not have that "other" from what I have determined. I know this is a poor way to ask it, but is having a significant other more important when you have them or when you do not?

I currently do NOT have one. I got divorced 5 years ago - so I know what it is like to have and have not. Within those 5 years, I had one big love, otherwise pretty much just dated.

I am a one guy kind of girl...I like having 1 special man in my life. It is pretty important to me. I like sharing my world with someone - as long as they are worth it

pjhawks

I think it's as important as YOU make it be. I'm single and as great as it would be to have that significant other or soulmate to me if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen. I've learned to embrace that I am single so I can often do things my married friends don't or can't. I think it's much more important to be happy with YOURSELF whether you have a significant other or not.

decides2dream

edvedder913 wrote:

I currently do NOT have one. I got divorced 5 years ago - so I know what it is like to have and have not. Within those 5 years, I had one big love, otherwise pretty much just dated.

I am a one guy kind of girl...I like having 1 special man in my life. It is pretty important to me. I like sharing my world with someone - as long as they are worth it

absolutely!



oooooooo...gem here too:

pjhawks wrote:

I think it's as important as YOU make it be. I'm single and as great as it would be to have that significant other or soulmate to me if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen. I've learned to embrace that I am single so I can often do things my married friends don't or can't. I think it's much more important to be happy with YOURSELF whether you have a significant other or not.

AllNiteThing

edvedder913 wrote:

I currently do NOT have one. I got divorced 5 years ago - so I know what it is like to have and have not. Within those 5 years, I had one big love, otherwise pretty much just dated.

I am a one guy kind of girl...I like having 1 special man in my life. It is pretty important to me. I like sharing my world with someone - as long as they are worth it

There's nothing like having that someone who's always there for you no matter what. Being single and free certainly has its advantages, but not in the long term, IMO

I was in a 4 year relationship and a handful of 1 year ones. I've been single now about 2 years and have enjoyed most of it, but I'm at the point now where I realize life is so much better when you have someone you care about to share it with.

AmentsChick

AllNiteThing wrote:

life is so much better when you have someone you care about to share it with.

This I agree with 100000%!

rjbukowski

Here is the thing, that whole "be happy with yourself" is a bunch of crap. Why are we here??? To associate with others, to have children, to make those "connections" with others. If the others think you are, for a lack of a better term, a "loser," then you will not be able to fulfill what living is about and you can not be happy with yourself if you are undesirable to others and thus not able to make "connections"

patrickredeyes

Being single is great and all and I enjoy it most of the time. But those moments when it isn't it kinda hurts sometimes. I've learned to just deal with it and keeping moving on with my life. You never know what's around the bend.

PJammin'

Boo-ya wrote:

Here is the thing, that whole "be happy with yourself" is a bunch of crap. Why are we here???

no...it's not a bunch of crap.

why are we here? that depends how you look at life. my reason would be different than the next person's.

you are

patrickredeyes wrote:

Being single is great and all and I enjoy it most of the time. But those moments when it isn't it kinda hurts sometimes. I've learned to just deal with it and keeping moving on with my life. You never know what's around the bend.

very true, i feel the same way. i do like my singleness at the moment, but there are times when i wish i had someone with me, a companion. like when there's a death in my family, i'm at home alone, dealing with it, alone. or even going to mom's house for Christmas.....sometimes, i'd rather open gifts with my significant other on Christmas morning instead of feeling like a kid at mom's....but she does spoil me because i'm single. so there are some advantages.

rjbukowski

Just my opinion, obviously, but I feel that people who are single and saying that "they are happy" are just not admiting that they are failing at a certain aspect in their life. I understand relationships is not the only thing in life, but it is a big piece of it.

decides2dream

PJammin' wrote:

no...it's not a bunch of crap.

why are we here? that depends how you look at life. my reason would be different than the next person's.

VERY very true!
many people remain single their whole lives.....and/or do not have children. you can have amazing and wonderful connections, rich and full life, with or without a significant other. you have friends, extended family, etc. life is what you make of it.


i have always thought, and have said, i personally think some people not being able to bear children, and homosexuality....is actually MEANT to be, so that there are people to help/support others - not just be focused on their 'own' family. the whole 'it takes a village' bit and all that. one can have a fantastic life, make HUGE contributions to the world/humanity...without ever being coupled or procreating.


no one is 'failing' at a certain portion of their lives. it's a choice. and even if one eventully wants to couple, and/or have a family...for the time being, one can enjoy and feel fulfilled being single too. and yes, i already 'admitted' in my first post, that for ME, being coupled is my preference. but i also would NEVER just 'settle' with someone, simply to have someone.

you are

Boo-ya wrote:

Just my opinion, obviously, but I feel that people who are single and saying that "they are happy" are just not admiting that they are failing at a certain aspect in their life. I understand relationships is not the only thing in life, but it is a big piece of it.

ok, i can see what you're saying.....but looking at yourself like there is something wrong with you or saying that you are failing (just because you're single) is wrong too. being single does not mean you're a failure.

that's how i read what you posted. if that's not what you're saying then please correct me.

PJammin'

Boo-ya wrote:

Just my opinion, obviously, but I feel that people who are single and saying that "they are happy" are just not admiting that they are failing at a certain aspect in their life.

i hate to say it, but that is a very ignorant statement. just because you are single doesn't mean you're failing at anything. they're called "choices," my friend.