How important is it to have/not have someone "significant" in your life?

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  • AmentsChick
    AmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    I'd rather be single and happy than in a relationship with the wrong person.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • rjbukowski
    rjbukowski Posts: 117
    So you are saying being single is a "choice?" So if i really wanted someone I could have someone...not true. It takes two to tango, you can not tell someone to be your "other" if they do not find you desirable.
  • AmentsChick
    AmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    Boo-ya wrote:
    So you are saying being single is a "choice?" So if i really wanted someone I could have someone...not true. It takes two to tango, you can not tell someone to be your "other" if they do not find you desirable.

    To an extent it IS a choice. I could absolutely run out, meet a guy, and jump into a relationship...however meeting the "right" person is where the "un-choice" comes into play.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • PJammin'
    PJammin' Posts: 1,913
    Boo-ya wrote:
    So you are saying being single is a "choice?" So if i really wanted someone I could have someone...not true. It takes two to tango, you can not tell someone to be your "other" if they do not find you desirable.

    for some people being single IS a choice. if you really wanted someone...yes...you could have it. it's just a matter of finding the right one for you. some people that "you want" may not be the best match for you.
    I died. I died and you just stood there. I died and you watched. I died and you walked by and said no. I'm dead.
  • you are
    you are Posts: 1,651
    AmentsChick wrote:
    I'd rather be single and happy than in a relationship with the wrong person.


    exactly! that's why i'm still single. i've seen too many people go through a divorce and it is not pretty. i never want to go through that. i do want to get married someday, but it will be with the right person. i never want to settle on someone just so i won't be alone.
    No need to be void, or save up on life...
    You got to spend it all
  • rjbukowski
    rjbukowski Posts: 117
    I agree, I do not want to settle either, but eventually when you get past up by all the people who you want you will either have to accept being single or settle, so either way you are screwed
  • AmentsChick
    AmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    you are wrote:
    exactly! that's why i'm still single. i've seen too many people go through a divorce and it is not pretty. i never want to go through that. i do want to get married someday, but it will be with the right person. i never want to settle on someone just so i won't be alone.

    Well said! A lot of my friends have already gotten divorced...one of them 3 times!!!...and she's only in her mid-30s!! Being single is a hell of a lot easier and less costly.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • xavier mcdaniel
    xavier mcdaniel Somewhere in NYC Posts: 9,448
    friends are significant, not necessarily significant others but they're important.
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  • PJammin'
    PJammin' Posts: 1,913
    AmentsChick wrote:
    Well said! A lot of my friends have already gotten divorced...one of them 3 times!!!...and she's only in her mid-30s!!

    poor jill. :D
    I died. I died and you just stood there. I died and you watched. I died and you walked by and said no. I'm dead.
  • patrickredeyes
    patrickredeyes Posts: 8,834
    you are wrote:
    very true, i feel the same way. i do like my singleness at the moment, but there are times when i wish i had someone with me, a companion. like when there's a death in my family, i'm at home alone, dealing with it, alone. or even going to mom's house for Christmas.....sometimes, i'd rather open gifts with my significant other on Christmas morning instead of feeling like a kid at mom's....but she does spoil me because i'm single. so there are some advantages. :o

    I totally know what you mean about being alone and having to deal with stuff.
    I've had alot of situations thrown at me and it would be so nice to have someone there to soften the blow. Just to relax and tell me it will be ok. Friends are there for you but sometimes you need just a little bit more.

    Ok well I feel depressed now. LOL
  • you are
    you are Posts: 1,651
    Boo-ya wrote:
    I agree, I do not want to settle either, but eventually when you get past up by all the people who you want you will either have to accept being single or settle, so either way you are screwed


    not really. life is what you make it. if you end up single then maybe you were meant to be single, but you can still have an exciting life! ;) i say to live life to the fullest and if/when i find the right one, i'll know and it will be worth the wait. also, being single helps you to know more about yourself. i've talked to friends of mine that say sometimes it's hard, when you're in a relationship, to stay true to yourself. that's not always the case, but at least you know that while you're single you can be as selfish as you want.
    No need to be void, or save up on life...
    You got to spend it all
  • you are
    you are Posts: 1,651
    patrickredeyes wrote:
    I totally know what you mean about being alone and having to deal with stuff.
    I've had alot of situations thrown at me and it would be so nice to have someone there to soften the blow. Just to relax and tell me it will be ok. Friends are there for you but sometimes you need just a little bit more.

    Ok well I feel depressed now. LOL


    aw, don't be depressed! :) i think there are advantages either way - single or in a relationship. ;)
    No need to be void, or save up on life...
    You got to spend it all
  • rjbukowski
    rjbukowski Posts: 117
    it is just too bad that for some life will never be completely fulfilled either do to not finding that person or finding someone you just settled for. But, that is why there are winners and losers in life, some of us are just born losers.
  • patrickredeyes
    patrickredeyes Posts: 8,834
    you are wrote:
    aw, don't be depressed! :) i think there are advantages either way - single or in a relationship. ;)

    Nah I'm fine actually.


    I'm alive and I have a great family and frends.
  • you are
    you are Posts: 1,651
    Boo-ya wrote:
    it is just too bad that for some life will never be completely fulfilled either do to not finding that person or finding someone you just settled for. But, that is why there are winners and losers in life, some of us are just born losers.


    this is the time when you need to make yourself look at the glass and say it's half-full not half-empty. i hate when people tell me this, but in this moment you have to choose to see yourself differently. you are not a failure, and if you end up single the rest of your life, then you are the one who chooses misery or a fulfilled life. don't let someone else (who doesn't want to be with you) define you.
    No need to be void, or save up on life...
    You got to spend it all
  • decides2dream
    decides2dream Posts: 14,977
    you are wrote:
    this is the time when you need to make yourself look at the glass and say it's half-full not half-empty. i hate when people tell me this, but in this moment you have to choose to see yourself differently. you are not a failure, and if you end up single the rest of your life, then you are the one who chooses misery or a fulfilled life. don't let someone else (who doesn't want to be with you) define you.



    excellent attitude.


    and really, this:

    if you end up _________the rest of your life, then you are the one who chooses misery or a fulfilled life. don't let someone/thing else.........define you.

    married, single, divorced, cohabitating, parent or childless.....it STILL is always a CHOICE to be miserable or fulfilled. having someone or something in your life won't determine that for you. YOU do!

    as in, don't let societal 'norms' determine what is right for you, either.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • you are
    you are Posts: 1,651
    decides2dream wrote:
    excellent attitude.


    and really, this:

    if you end up _________the rest of your life, then you are the one who chooses misery or a fulfilled life. don't let someone/thing else.........define you.

    married, single, divorced, cohabitating, parent or childless.....it STILL is always a CHOICE to be miserable or fulfilled. having someone or something in your life won't determine that for you. YOU do!

    as in, don't let societal 'norms' determine what is right for you, either.


    yes! you summed it up perfectly! ;):)

    also, you can't say some people are born losers. watch this video and if it doesn't change your perspective, i don't know what will: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUQeUsqQuVc

    this seems to bring me back to the right perspective everytime.
    No need to be void, or save up on life...
    You got to spend it all
  • AmentsChick
    AmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    PJammin' wrote:
    poor jill. :D

    LOL! SHUT UP!! IT's not Jill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! punk! :rolleyes: :p
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • PJammin'
    PJammin' Posts: 1,913
    decides2dream wrote:
    excellent attitude.


    and really, this:

    if you end up _________the rest of your life, then you are the one who chooses misery or a fulfilled life. don't let someone/thing else.........define you.

    married, single, divorced, cohabitating, parent or childless.....it STILL is always a CHOICE to be miserable or fulfilled. having someone or something in your life won't determine that for you. YOU do!

    as in, don't let societal 'norms' determine what is right for you, either.

    nice, dreamy. :)
    I died. I died and you just stood there. I died and you watched. I died and you walked by and said no. I'm dead.
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    Boo-ya wrote:
    it is just too bad that for some life will never be completely fulfilled either do to not finding that person or finding someone you just settled for. But, that is why there are winners and losers in life, some of us are just born losers.


    um wow i really don't know where to begin with all this


    you believe that unless you are coupled with another human being you are deficient as a human?


    bullshit!!

    you are who you are by the choices you make in your life....you choose to find someone to share you life with....it is not a requirement for living.....i have chosen not to have a wife/gf and i am happy with that decision because i feel it is the best choice for me.....if people have a problem with that..well that's THEIR problem, not mine

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