So I got my first massage ever today...

mookie9999
mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
edited April 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
And I must say I was not impressed. It was a deep tissue and it wasn't as relaxing as I had hoped. And no, I didn't get a happy ending. Nor would I have wanted one considering my massuese was pushing 300lbs and probably would have Lorena Bobbit'ed me with her bare hands! So should I have went with a basic massage or are all massages other than a tender backrub/shoulder rub from a significant other useless?
"The leads are weak!"

"The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

"What's your name?"

"FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • in_hiding79
    in_hiding79 Posts: 4,315
    mookie9999 wrote:
    And I must say I was not impressed. It was a deep tissue and it wasn't as relaxing as I had hoped. And no, I didn't get a happy ending. Nor would I have wanted one considering my massuese was pushing 300lbs and probably would have Lorena Bobbit'ed me with her bare hands! So should I have went with a basic massage or are all massages other than a tender backrub/shoulder rub from a significant other useless?

    WOW...:eek:
    And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,"
    "What a stupid lamb."
    "What a sick, masochistic lion."
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    in_hiding79 wrote:
    WOW...:eek:

    I created a new rule today after my massage. I will never again get a massage from someone that can bench press more than me!
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • xavier mcdaniel
    xavier mcdaniel Somewhere in NYC Posts: 9,448
    mookie9999 wrote:
    I created a new rule today after my massage. I will never again get a massage from someone that can bench press more than me!

    as long as it wasn't like that seinfeld episode when george had a massage..
    Reading 2004
    Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
    Chicago 2007
    Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
    Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
    Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
    Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
    Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
    Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
    Fenway 2, 2018
    MSG 2022
    St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
    MSG 2024, MSG 2024
    Philadelphia 2024
    "I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
    Things happen in the game. Nothing you
    can do. I don't go and say,
    "I'm gonna beat this guy up."
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    xavier mcdaniel wrote:
    as long as it wasn't like that seinfeld episode when george had a massage..

    It moved! Jerry that's the sign! :D
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • xavier mcdaniel
    xavier mcdaniel Somewhere in NYC Posts: 9,448
    mookie9999 wrote:
    It moved! Jerry that's the sign! :D

    was your masseuse named raymond...
    Reading 2004
    Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
    Chicago 2007
    Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
    Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
    Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
    Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
    Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
    Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
    Fenway 2, 2018
    MSG 2022
    St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
    MSG 2024, MSG 2024
    Philadelphia 2024
    "I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
    Things happen in the game. Nothing you
    can do. I don't go and say,
    "I'm gonna beat this guy up."
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    xavier mcdaniel wrote:
    was your masseuse named raymond...

    Her name wasn't Raymond, but I think her moustache was.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • LONGRD
    LONGRD Posts: 6,036
    300lbs? :eek:

    mookie, why didnt you go to an Asian massage parlor? you would have had a better "ending" ;)
    PJ- 04/29/2003.06/24,25,27,28,30/2008.10/27,28,30,31/2009
    EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    LongRd. wrote:
    300lbs? :eek:

    mookie, why didnt you go to an Asian massage parlor? you would have had a better "ending" ;)

    The odds were beyond good on it being an asian performing the massage seeing how I am in Cali, but no such luck.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • LONGRD
    LONGRD Posts: 6,036
    mookie9999 wrote:
    The odds were beyond good on it being an asian performing the massage seeing how I am in Cali, but no such luck.
    there was a 300lbs woman in California? :confused:
    where was this...Sacremento?
    PJ- 04/29/2003.06/24,25,27,28,30/2008.10/27,28,30,31/2009
    EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    LongRd. wrote:
    there was a 300lbs woman in California? :confused:
    where was this...Sacremento?

    ROTFLMAO!!!!! YES IT WAS!!! Across the street from the Sunrise Mall!! Actually, it's citrus heights, but sacramento is right there!!
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • sponger
    sponger Posts: 3,159
    I usually feel a good massage the following day.
    reigning champion

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    sponger wrote:
    I usually feel a good massage the following day.
    Cool! I'll wait until tomorrow to make my final judgement!
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • LONGRD
    LONGRD Posts: 6,036
    mookie9999 wrote:
    ROTFLMAO!!!!! YES IT WAS!!! Across the street from the Sunrise Mall!! Actually, it's citrus heights, but sacramento is right there!!
    :D hehe, i just guess it because it's the capital. Arnie is there along with other Cali politicians. Politicians aren't that attractive! ;)

    BTW, did you have a chance to cruise for Bea's house or whereabouts? :)
    PJ- 04/29/2003.06/24,25,27,28,30/2008.10/27,28,30,31/2009
    EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    LongRd. wrote:
    :D hehe, i just guess it because it's the capital. Arnie is there along with other Cali politicians. Politicians aren't that attractive! ;)

    BTW, did you have a chance to cruise for Bea's house or whereabouts? :)

    Sacramento is a strange strange place. Can't believe I lived here for so long! I went out last night to a restaurant and the best looking girls were with the funniest looking fuckers you could imagine. The girl would be dressed to the nines and he would be in his best work jeans and tequila t-shirt! God I miss NYC! Fuck the Beach Boys! I say I wish they all could be NYC girls!!

    Haven't had a chance to stalk Bea yet. I won't be flying to Southern California until Tuesday. But then, let the games begin!!! :D
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • LONGRD
    LONGRD Posts: 6,036
    mookie9999 wrote:
    Sacramento is a strange strange place. Can't believe I lived here for so long! I went out last night to a restaurant and the best looking girls were with the funniest looking fuckers you could imagine. The girl would be dressed to the nines and he would be in his best work jeans and tequila t-shirt! God I miss NYC! Fuck the Beach Boys! I say I wish they all could be NYC girls!!

    Haven't had a chance to stalk Bea yet. I won't be flying to Southern California until Tuesday. But then, let the games begin!!! :D
    Man, you seen the best of both worlds(entertain worlds)! So is it true, Cali girls are more loose and NYC girls are tight asses? :p j/k
    PJ- 04/29/2003.06/24,25,27,28,30/2008.10/27,28,30,31/2009
    EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
  • mca47
    mca47 Posts: 13,337
    mookie9999 wrote:
    It moved! Jerry that's the sign! :D


    Hahahahahaha! :D
  • MattCameronKicksButt
    MattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    mookie9999 wrote:
    Her name wasn't Raymond, but I think her moustache was.

    HAHAHA!

    Personally (not that I have many massages) but I prefer when they can apply some pressure.

    So you didn't do this then? :D :eek:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhU0nr5oSNA
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    massage?




    sacramento?!?!?!




    stop drinking....it's doing bad things to you :eek:


    oh and ed says "hi" he had a really great night!! :D
  • antperlsjam
    antperlsjam Posts: 56
    did you get a happy ending?
    8/25/00 8/27/00 8/29/00 8/30/00 10/4/00 4/29/03 7/8/03 7/9/03 9/28/04 9/29/04 5/12/06 5/13/06 5/24/06 5/25/06 6/1/06 6/3/06 8/5/07

    Keepin us close, so close... on down the line... sometimes I burn like a dot on the sun
  • Drop The Leash 10
    Drop The Leash 10 Posts: 7,011
    mookie9999 wrote:
    And I must say I was not impressed. It was a deep tissue and it wasn't as relaxing as I had hoped. And no, I didn't get a happy ending. Nor would I have wanted one considering my massuese was pushing 300lbs and probably would have Lorena Bobbit'ed me with her bare hands! So should I have went with a basic massage or are all massages other than a tender backrub/shoulder rub from a significant other useless?
    live and learn. :D hahahahahahahahahaha 300lbs.
    I will be what i could be
    Once I get out of this town


    9/29/04;6/27/08;6/30/08;8/23/09;08/24/09;5/17/10

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