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So I got my first massage ever today...

mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
edited April 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
And I must say I was not impressed. It was a deep tissue and it wasn't as relaxing as I had hoped. And no, I didn't get a happy ending. Nor would I have wanted one considering my massuese was pushing 300lbs and probably would have Lorena Bobbit'ed me with her bare hands! So should I have went with a basic massage or are all massages other than a tender backrub/shoulder rub from a significant other useless?
"The leads are weak!"

"The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

"What's your name?"

"FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • in_hiding79in_hiding79 Posts: 4,315
    mookie9999 wrote:
    And I must say I was not impressed. It was a deep tissue and it wasn't as relaxing as I had hoped. And no, I didn't get a happy ending. Nor would I have wanted one considering my massuese was pushing 300lbs and probably would have Lorena Bobbit'ed me with her bare hands! So should I have went with a basic massage or are all massages other than a tender backrub/shoulder rub from a significant other useless?

    WOW...:eek:
    And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,"
    "What a stupid lamb."
    "What a sick, masochistic lion."
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    in_hiding79 wrote:
    WOW...:eek:

    I created a new rule today after my massage. I will never again get a massage from someone that can bench press more than me!
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • xavier mcdanielxavier mcdaniel Somewhere in NYC Posts: 9,296
    mookie9999 wrote:
    I created a new rule today after my massage. I will never again get a massage from someone that can bench press more than me!

    as long as it wasn't like that seinfeld episode when george had a massage..
    Reading 2004
    Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
    Chicago 2007
    Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
    Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
    Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
    Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
    Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
    Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
    Fenway 2, 2018
    MSG 2022
    St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
    MSG 2024, MSG 2024
    Philadelphia 2024
    "I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
    Things happen in the game. Nothing you
    can do. I don't go and say,
    "I'm gonna beat this guy up."
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    xavier mcdaniel wrote:
    as long as it wasn't like that seinfeld episode when george had a massage..

    It moved! Jerry that's the sign! :D
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • xavier mcdanielxavier mcdaniel Somewhere in NYC Posts: 9,296
    mookie9999 wrote:
    It moved! Jerry that's the sign! :D

    was your masseuse named raymond...
    Reading 2004
    Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
    Chicago 2007
    Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
    Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
    Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
    Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
    Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
    Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
    Fenway 2, 2018
    MSG 2022
    St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
    MSG 2024, MSG 2024
    Philadelphia 2024
    "I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
    Things happen in the game. Nothing you
    can do. I don't go and say,
    "I'm gonna beat this guy up."
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    xavier mcdaniel wrote:
    was your masseuse named raymond...

    Her name wasn't Raymond, but I think her moustache was.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • LONGRDLONGRD Posts: 6,036
    300lbs? :eek:

    mookie, why didnt you go to an Asian massage parlor? you would have had a better "ending" ;)
    PJ- 04/29/2003.06/24,25,27,28,30/2008.10/27,28,30,31/2009
    EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    LongRd. wrote:
    300lbs? :eek:

    mookie, why didnt you go to an Asian massage parlor? you would have had a better "ending" ;)

    The odds were beyond good on it being an asian performing the massage seeing how I am in Cali, but no such luck.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • LONGRDLONGRD Posts: 6,036
    mookie9999 wrote:
    The odds were beyond good on it being an asian performing the massage seeing how I am in Cali, but no such luck.
    there was a 300lbs woman in California? :confused:
    where was this...Sacremento?
    PJ- 04/29/2003.06/24,25,27,28,30/2008.10/27,28,30,31/2009
    EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    LongRd. wrote:
    there was a 300lbs woman in California? :confused:
    where was this...Sacremento?

    ROTFLMAO!!!!! YES IT WAS!!! Across the street from the Sunrise Mall!! Actually, it's citrus heights, but sacramento is right there!!
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • spongersponger Posts: 3,159
    I usually feel a good massage the following day.
    reigning champion

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    sponger wrote:
    I usually feel a good massage the following day.
    Cool! I'll wait until tomorrow to make my final judgement!
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • LONGRDLONGRD Posts: 6,036
    mookie9999 wrote:
    ROTFLMAO!!!!! YES IT WAS!!! Across the street from the Sunrise Mall!! Actually, it's citrus heights, but sacramento is right there!!
    :D hehe, i just guess it because it's the capital. Arnie is there along with other Cali politicians. Politicians aren't that attractive! ;)

    BTW, did you have a chance to cruise for Bea's house or whereabouts? :)
    PJ- 04/29/2003.06/24,25,27,28,30/2008.10/27,28,30,31/2009
    EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    LongRd. wrote:
    :D hehe, i just guess it because it's the capital. Arnie is there along with other Cali politicians. Politicians aren't that attractive! ;)

    BTW, did you have a chance to cruise for Bea's house or whereabouts? :)

    Sacramento is a strange strange place. Can't believe I lived here for so long! I went out last night to a restaurant and the best looking girls were with the funniest looking fuckers you could imagine. The girl would be dressed to the nines and he would be in his best work jeans and tequila t-shirt! God I miss NYC! Fuck the Beach Boys! I say I wish they all could be NYC girls!!

    Haven't had a chance to stalk Bea yet. I won't be flying to Southern California until Tuesday. But then, let the games begin!!! :D
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • LONGRDLONGRD Posts: 6,036
    mookie9999 wrote:
    Sacramento is a strange strange place. Can't believe I lived here for so long! I went out last night to a restaurant and the best looking girls were with the funniest looking fuckers you could imagine. The girl would be dressed to the nines and he would be in his best work jeans and tequila t-shirt! God I miss NYC! Fuck the Beach Boys! I say I wish they all could be NYC girls!!

    Haven't had a chance to stalk Bea yet. I won't be flying to Southern California until Tuesday. But then, let the games begin!!! :D
    Man, you seen the best of both worlds(entertain worlds)! So is it true, Cali girls are more loose and NYC girls are tight asses? :p j/k
    PJ- 04/29/2003.06/24,25,27,28,30/2008.10/27,28,30,31/2009
    EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,291
    mookie9999 wrote:
    It moved! Jerry that's the sign! :D


    Hahahahahaha! :D
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    mookie9999 wrote:
    Her name wasn't Raymond, but I think her moustache was.

    HAHAHA!

    Personally (not that I have many massages) but I prefer when they can apply some pressure.

    So you didn't do this then? :D :eek:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhU0nr5oSNA
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    massage?




    sacramento?!?!?!




    stop drinking....it's doing bad things to you :eek:


    oh and ed says "hi" he had a really great night!! :D
  • antperlsjamantperlsjam Posts: 56
    did you get a happy ending?
    8/25/00 8/27/00 8/29/00 8/30/00 10/4/00 4/29/03 7/8/03 7/9/03 9/28/04 9/29/04 5/12/06 5/13/06 5/24/06 5/25/06 6/1/06 6/3/06 8/5/07

    Keepin us close, so close... on down the line... sometimes I burn like a dot on the sun
  • Drop The Leash 10Drop The Leash 10 Posts: 7,011
    mookie9999 wrote:
    And I must say I was not impressed. It was a deep tissue and it wasn't as relaxing as I had hoped. And no, I didn't get a happy ending. Nor would I have wanted one considering my massuese was pushing 300lbs and probably would have Lorena Bobbit'ed me with her bare hands! So should I have went with a basic massage or are all massages other than a tender backrub/shoulder rub from a significant other useless?
    live and learn. :D hahahahahahahahahaha 300lbs.
    I will be what i could be
    Once I get out of this town


    9/29/04;6/27/08;6/30/08;8/23/09;08/24/09;5/17/10
  • WhizbangWhizbang Posts: 1,314
    mookie9999 wrote:
    And I must say I was not impressed. It was a deep tissue and it wasn't as relaxing as I had hoped. And no, I didn't get a happy ending. Nor would I have wanted one considering my massuese was pushing 300lbs and probably would have Lorena Bobbit'ed me with her bare hands! So should I have went with a basic massage or are all massages other than a tender backrub/shoulder rub from a significant other useless?

    deep tissue shouldn't hurt, I hope that wasn't your experience. A massuese should ask what pressure you prefer and if you're new to it, they should take it easy. Try a relaxation massage next time, you might prefer it.

    and damn it, I can't believe you didn't go for the happy ending!!!! ;)
    believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.

    I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29

    Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    mookie9999 wrote:
    And I must say I was not impressed. It was a deep tissue and it wasn't as relaxing as I had hoped. And no, I didn't get a happy ending. Nor would I have wanted one considering my massuese was pushing 300lbs and probably would have Lorena Bobbit'ed me with her bare hands! So should I have went with a basic massage or are all massages other than a tender backrub/shoulder rub from a significant other useless?



    hmmmmmm....sounds like you had an eh masseusse to me. i've only gotten 2 professional full-body massages, and they were utter bliss. as work during busy seasons, we get weekly 15 minute back massages, and the quality can vary greatly on the massuesse. once i figure out the 'good' massuesse, i make SURE to go to him/her each time. :p i LOVE full-body massages....ohhhhhhhh myyyyyy......seriously, who spends THAT much time massaging arms/legs? who knew that would feel so good? haha. it's so much more than simply back and neck. anyhoo, i say give it another go. i actually got a GC for heart day for one...hmmm......have to use it soon i think! :D
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • _Crazy_Mary__Crazy_Mary_ Posts: 1,299
    You're in Sacramento right now? I feel like driving down to meet you. I'm only in Nevada City, 45 min. away.

    Sorry about your massage, we have a massage therapy school here in town and on Wednesdays the students practice with a massage clinic. It costs $30 for an hour and a half. And they are the advanced students, so it feels pretty good.
    I really screwed that up. I really Schruted it.
  • GraySaturdayGraySaturday Posts: 2,878
    Oh, Mook.. don't even lie, you LOVED that she was 300lbs.. I know you did.

    Can you imagine if Brittney was 300lbs? Ohhh.. the joy!!! (Don't forget to watch on tuesday!!!)

    Anyways.. I had a massage once by this woman, who was most certainly a male actually, and she was crazy.. I thought she was going to break my back. Deep tissue? Hell, she was going to push me through the table I thought. Things got weird when started massaging my butt cheeks.. I mean thats not part of any massage I've ever had!!!!!!!! (well a professional one!) and I was like.. uhhh.. this is oddddddd.. And then she asked if I wanted my "lower stomach massaged"... um... I was like, No, I'm good thanks!
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    cutback wrote:
    massage?




    sacramento?!?!?!




    stop drinking....it's doing bad things to you :eek:


    oh and ed says "hi" he had a really great night!! :D
    Thanks! Yeah drinking is really fucking with me! Actually, prior to the massage I had been dry ever since hitting Cali! But last night I broke down! Tell Ed hi back and I'll see him soon enough!! :D
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Whizbang wrote:
    deep tissue shouldn't hurt, I hope that wasn't your experience. A massuese should ask what pressure you prefer and if you're new to it, they should take it easy. Try a relaxation massage next time, you might prefer it.

    and damn it, I can't believe you didn't go for the happy ending!!!! ;)

    She didn't ask me what pressure I preferred and I told her it was my first time. But I think she already gathered that as I got under the sheets in my jeans! ;) The only part that hurt was whatever the hell she was doing to my shoulder blade.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    _Crazy_Mary_ wrote:
    You're in Sacramento right now? I feel like driving down to meet you. I'm only in Nevada City, 45 min. away.

    Sorry about your massage, we have a massage therapy school here in town and on Wednesdays the students practice with a massage clinic. It costs $30 for an hour and a half. And they are the advanced students, so it feels pretty good.

    Right now I am in a place called Olivehurst. Later on I'll be in Cameron Park, followed by Fair Oaks tomorrow. Feel free to stalk away! ;) I wish I could have met some people off of here other than at the EV shows.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    GraySaturday wrote:
    Oh, Mook.. don't even lie, you LOVED that she was 300lbs.. I know you did.

    Can you imagine if Brittney was 300lbs? Ohhh.. the joy!!! (Don't forget to watch on tuesday!!!)

    Anyways.. I had a massage once by this woman, who was most certainly a male actually, and she was crazy.. I thought she was going to break my back. Deep tissue? Hell, she was going to push me through the table I thought. Things got weird when started massaging my butt cheeks.. I mean thats not part of any massage I've ever had!!!!!!!! (well a professional one!) and I was like.. uhhh.. this is oddddddd.. And then she asked if I wanted my "lower stomach massaged"... um... I was like, No, I'm good thanks!

    Damn! I wish I had your masseusse! A massage from Brittney? Nice!! As to Tuesday, I'm going to miss it! As much as I enjoy the show I have one last date with a certain singer of a certain band in San Diego!
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • in_hiding79in_hiding79 Posts: 4,315
    LongRd. wrote:
    there was a 300lbs woman in California? :confused:
    where was this...Sacremento?


    hehehe :)
    And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,"
    "What a stupid lamb."
    "What a sick, masochistic lion."
  • AllieAllie Posts: 2,908
    mookie9999 wrote:
    Sacramento is a strange strange place.
    when I lived in SF our roomate was from "Sac-town" as he called it.

    You know the magazine that comes with the Sunday NY Post now? It had an article about how some investment bankers and Wall St types don't have 'time' for relationships and whatnot so they go to the Asian massage parlors :eek:
    "...like a word misplaced, nothing said, what a waste.."
    "Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
    6-01-06
    6/25/08
    Free Speedy
    and Metsy!
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