I don’t think a person ever shows who they really are, sure we get to see most of whom people are but I’ve always found that most people will hold back a little no matter how well you know them.
This excludes couples who have been together for a long time. I think my wife is the only person who completely knows me, but we’ve been together for 10 years now.
i think eventually...it does come out. real life and even online....i think in time you *see* or recognize someone for who they are. quite honestly, if someone could hide their true nature to such a degree i would find that rather unhealthy and a wee bit scary .....but i think for most of us, we do want to be *known* for who we are inside, and in time, can't keep up the charade and reveal ourselves.
thoughts?
agree, disagree.....?
the neighbors of most serial killers would say yes.
"You've never been out of college, you don't know what it's like out there. I've worked in the private sector... they expect results." -Ray
I don't know. I think that's a good question. I think it's great to be genuine. But, I definetly don't think many people are today. I'd be lying if I said that I am all the time.
This is definetly something I'd like to improve on. Sincerity and transparency are underrated qualities in a person.
I've never tried to hide my true self but my personality has probably changed a bit over the past year. That's all I can offer... I don't know about anyone else...
The true essence of who I am always comes through...and it's not something I would want to hide from anyone. However, there are only a select few people who truly know all and everything about me and my life. I choose what I feel comfortable sharing with certain people based on the type of relationship I have with them and how comfortable I feel with them. That's just good judgment IMO. I'm usually good at reading other people also...and seeing through their various masks - recognizing false bravado or when someone is covering up pain or even false friendliness. I think this is a necessary part of being able to do my job well. However I usually honor whatever someone is showing at any given time and recognize that there's probably a reason for it...and I don't necessarily need to know the reason.
The true essence of who I am always comes through...and it's not something I would want to hide from anyone. However, there are only a select few people who truly know all and everything about me and my life. I choose what I feel comfortable sharing with certain people based on the type of relationship I have with them and how comfortable I feel with them. That's just good judgment IMO. I'm usually good at reading other people also...and seeing through their various masks - recognizing false bravado or when someone is covering up pain or even false friendliness. I think this is a necessary part of being able to do my job well. However I usually honor whatever someone is showing at any given time and recognize that there's probably a reason for it...and I don't necessarily need to know the reason.
agree wholeheartedly!
i figure my personality comes through no matter what, like small town beck said, my goofballness is too hard to hide, and i don't wanna hide it anyway
i figure my personality comes through no matter what, like small town beck said, my goofballness is too hard to hide, and i don't wanna hide it anyway
I can vouch for some of that goofiness.
You and STB are both goofy.
I think people show you what they want you to see some of the time.
It doesn't make me sad anymore that people have to hide behind some other persona...it makes me sick and I am tired of it.
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
I can vouch for some of that goofiness.
You and STB are both goofy.
I think people show you what they want you to see some of the time.
It doesn't make me sad anymore that people have to hide behind some other persona...it makes me sick and I am tired of it.
Never tried, figured it would be too exhausting, take it or leave it....I'm one of those who wears their heart on their sleeve.
oxc
~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
IMO, whether you wear your heart on your sleeve or keep your emotions bottled up does not change the fact the we all possess a *public* self as well as a *private* self - the combination of which could possibly be the *true* self. So I guess my answer would be yes and no
Oh, and a big BTW to the OP:
Hi D2D - We met on the MSG 1 10c line and again walking to MSG 2 after McGarry's !!! In fact, I bumped into you and your DH every step of the way. I hope your leg is better. See you in August perhaps?
As many other people have already said, we have different aspects of our personality that we show to different people, depending on the situation. We don't always need to reveal all of ourselves to everyone we meet, just the parts that are needed. I don't see this as hiding one's true self, just highlighting aspects of it that are appropriate at the time. As long as none of the aspects of our personality are fake, then they make up part of the "true self" IMO.
I think though that some people might find this hard to grasp, possibly because they themselves only have a few aspects to their personality, so they reveal most of themselves to everyone they meet. I don't give much away about myself, but I don't see this as hiding anything. If anyone ever asks me things about myself, I will always readily divulge the information (provided it's appropriate and not overly personal or private information), they just have to ask the right questions for me to reveal certain parts of my personality. For instance, at the part time job I used to have, I was a waiter. I worked with some people for a number of years, but none of them really "knew" me. They knew basic personal info such as name, age, where and what I studied, but not really much more than that, because people just don't really ask. If someone shows no interest in my life, it's history and potential future, i'm not going to waste my time boring them about it. My point is, very few people see all aspects of my personality (in fact probably only one person has seen them all, she knows who she is), but this doesn't mean i'm hiding my true self, because all the aspects that I DO show people are genuine. None of them are fake.
I think it's sad that people feel like they can't be themselves all the time. I love who I am, and I'm proud of that.
I feel bad for people who can't have that too in their lives.
I agree that it is sad, but not everyone has the confidence to show who they really are, because that's really what it comes down to. I used to have pretty much no confidence, and hid most of my personality from most people by portraying a false confidence and arroagance that really wasn't me at all. I hated who I was pretending to be, but I just didn't have the confidence to be myself because I cared too much about what other people thought. Now, I don't really care what people think, which makes it so much easier to be yourself. Because I used to do it, I can usually spot when people are pretending to be something they aren't.
Depends on who you're hiding your true self from. If it's from your significant other, there's no way that you could hide that for any great length of time.
I see what you're saying, but I disagree. I think it depends on the level of love and respect you have for your significant other, and how significant they really are to you. Plenty of people have a "significant other" who is completely INsignificant when compared to themselves (what I mean is that people love themselves more than their SO), and I think that if you really want them to think you're someone you're not, it's entirely possible to do so.
...I see what you're saying, but I disagree. I think it depends on the level of love and respect you have for your significant other, and how significant they really are to you. Plenty of people have a "significant other" who is completely INsignificant when compared to themselves (what I mean is that people love themselves more than their SO), and I think that if you really want them to think you're someone you're not, it's entirely possible to do so.
Exactly. :(
Which then begs the question, why would you bother?
I realize, of course, that for some people it's a way of life to conceal who they are from their significant other and they do it very successfully and clearly they must have motivations for it, I guess I just don't really understand them.
The other thing is, if you don't like someone, or they don't like you then I think it's a defence mechanism to conceal who you are from them. You don't want your "enemies" (for want of a better word) knowing you, so they aren't able to use personal things against you, or judge you harshly for who you are. I think that's a very human thing to do.
As to concealing who I am, well sure I do that from time to time if I think it's necessary. Everybody doesn't need to know everything about me and obviously I don't want them to anyway, but for the most part I am just me, warts and all and I don't have the energy or the inclination to conceal or hide my true self. Obviously some people are going to see the true me and reject it, some people will see the true me and embrace it and some people will be ambivilent, or there are those that can work themselves up into a true hatred.
I think far more detrimental and concerning are not those who hide their true selves but those that develop elaborate charades that don't just hide their true selves but deliberately misrepresent who they are.
I think it's possible to look at this question in a simple way, and then it's possible to look at it in a more complete and complicated way.
The simple answer would be that people can't really escape their essential tendencies and most people will notice those and think they know the person's true self...
BUT
I think people change the way they express their inner selves all the time. They may evolve or grow and therefore be different as time passes. And then there is the whole complication of place and the input of other people and situations...
I think it's all quite complex in the long run!!
It can take years to get to know anyone worth knowing.
my theory is, i am who i am. i cant pretend to be someone or something im not. i do tell people what im like and over time, that will all be revealed. if people cant handle that, or they think that i wasnt serious about something i told them about myself, then fuck 'em.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
i think eventually...it does come out. real life and even online....i think in time you *see* or recognize someone for who they are. quite honestly, if someone could hide their true nature to such a degree i would find that rather unhealthy and a wee bit scary .....but i think for most of us, we do want to be *known* for who we are inside, and in time, can't keep up the charade and reveal ourselves.
thoughts?
agree, disagree.....?
agreed,
I think people reveal their true natures very quickly, and they type online like how they are in real life.
"...like a word misplaced, nothing said, what a waste.."
"Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
6-01-06
6/25/08
Free Speedy
and Metsy!
Depends on who you're hiding your true self from. If it's from your significant other, there's no way that you could hide that for any great length of time. However, if it's at a job where you're around people that you aren't really friends with, then yeah I think it's possible. Most of my coworkers don't really know much about me at all. They know which college I went to, that I'm married, and my job description.
Exactly. You kinda have to hide your true self with outsiders sometimes. Until I'm comfortable around people, I can seem somewhat stand offish.
Plus you need to be able to separate your work life from your home/social life.
IMO, whether you wear your heart on your sleeve or keep your emotions bottled up does not change the fact the we all possess a *public* self as well as a *private* self - the combination of which could possibly be the *true* self. So I guess my answer would be yes and no
Oh, and a big BTW to the OP:
Hi D2D - We met on the MSG 1 10c line and again walking to MSG 2 after McGarry's !!! In fact, I bumped into you and your DH every step of the way. I hope your leg is better. See you in August perhaps?
You don't know me then...I am always the same....ask my friends and family, I don't have two selves...and I'm 17 months away from my half century mark...so far so good!
oxc
~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
You don't know me then...I am always the same....ask my friends and family, I don't have two selves...and I'm 17 months away from my half century mark...so far so good!
oxc
Congrats on the halfway mark...just got there myself in June with PJ MSG 1 and 2 being my party
As for my "public" and "private" self statement, I took a lot of psyche courses...LOL.
Still, if my "true self" includes some of my thoughts, motivations and actions or lack thereof based on such thought and motivations - I have to admit some are exclusive and I don't share them with anyone including the hubby and kids.
The question I have now is: what is a "true self"?
Which then begs the question, why would you bother?
In some situations - to hustle people.
I've had plenty of people think I'm just some girl who doesn't know anything about anything. Now, I've had PLENTY of "dumb blonde" moments to help with this perception at points, but I have certainly played to and used the perception to my advantage. Namely, when trying to cut through red tape held by a bunch of good ol' boys.
Walking can be a real trip
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
Comments
This excludes couples who have been together for a long time. I think my wife is the only person who completely knows me, but we’ve been together for 10 years now.
the neighbors of most serial killers would say yes.
Denny Crane!
This is definetly something I'd like to improve on. Sincerity and transparency are underrated qualities in a person.
haha I know your sex! I saw it another thread!
that show is fascinating.
Denny Crane!
If anyone would know about hiding your 'true self' ... clark kent would know!
You saw nothing.
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
touche
it is tough having to conceal how cool i am all the time though.
i do think it's quite possible though. i've had people fooled for years!
Denny Crane!
absolutely.
and that would most definitely falll under the category of 'unhealthy'....no? :eek:
great post!
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
depends on your perspective. if you're the serial killer and don't want to go to jail, it's very healthy!
or if the serial killer is like the one in dexter, good for all of us.
Denny Crane!
i figure my personality comes through no matter what, like small town beck said, my goofballness is too hard to hide, and i don't wanna hide it anyway
You and STB are both goofy.
I think people show you what they want you to see some of the time.
It doesn't make me sad anymore that people have to hide behind some other persona...it makes me sick and I am tired of it.
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
oxc
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
Oh, and a big BTW to the OP:
Hi D2D - We met on the MSG 1 10c line and again walking to MSG 2 after McGarry's !!! In fact, I bumped into you and your DH every step of the way. I hope your leg is better. See you in August perhaps?
"Chirp"
As many other people have already said, we have different aspects of our personality that we show to different people, depending on the situation. We don't always need to reveal all of ourselves to everyone we meet, just the parts that are needed. I don't see this as hiding one's true self, just highlighting aspects of it that are appropriate at the time. As long as none of the aspects of our personality are fake, then they make up part of the "true self" IMO.
I think though that some people might find this hard to grasp, possibly because they themselves only have a few aspects to their personality, so they reveal most of themselves to everyone they meet. I don't give much away about myself, but I don't see this as hiding anything. If anyone ever asks me things about myself, I will always readily divulge the information (provided it's appropriate and not overly personal or private information), they just have to ask the right questions for me to reveal certain parts of my personality. For instance, at the part time job I used to have, I was a waiter. I worked with some people for a number of years, but none of them really "knew" me. They knew basic personal info such as name, age, where and what I studied, but not really much more than that, because people just don't really ask. If someone shows no interest in my life, it's history and potential future, i'm not going to waste my time boring them about it. My point is, very few people see all aspects of my personality (in fact probably only one person has seen them all, she knows who she is), but this doesn't mean i'm hiding my true self, because all the aspects that I DO show people are genuine. None of them are fake.
I agree that it is sad, but not everyone has the confidence to show who they really are, because that's really what it comes down to. I used to have pretty much no confidence, and hid most of my personality from most people by portraying a false confidence and arroagance that really wasn't me at all. I hated who I was pretending to be, but I just didn't have the confidence to be myself because I cared too much about what other people thought. Now, I don't really care what people think, which makes it so much easier to be yourself. Because I used to do it, I can usually spot when people are pretending to be something they aren't.
I see what you're saying, but I disagree. I think it depends on the level of love and respect you have for your significant other, and how significant they really are to you. Plenty of people have a "significant other" who is completely INsignificant when compared to themselves (what I mean is that people love themselves more than their SO), and I think that if you really want them to think you're someone you're not, it's entirely possible to do so.
I was a waiter for five years, and I never acted.
Until they mysteriously disappeared.
I don't wanna think, I wanna feel
Dublin 23/08/06 Lisbon I 04/09/06 Lisbon II 05/09/06 Paris 11/09/06 Verona 16/09/06
London 18/06/07 Dusseldorf 21/06/07 Copenhagen 26/06/07 Nijmegen 28/06/07
Exactly.
Which then begs the question, why would you bother?
I realize, of course, that for some people it's a way of life to conceal who they are from their significant other and they do it very successfully and clearly they must have motivations for it, I guess I just don't really understand them.
The other thing is, if you don't like someone, or they don't like you then I think it's a defence mechanism to conceal who you are from them. You don't want your "enemies" (for want of a better word) knowing you, so they aren't able to use personal things against you, or judge you harshly for who you are. I think that's a very human thing to do.
As to concealing who I am, well sure I do that from time to time if I think it's necessary. Everybody doesn't need to know everything about me and obviously I don't want them to anyway, but for the most part I am just me, warts and all and I don't have the energy or the inclination to conceal or hide my true self. Obviously some people are going to see the true me and reject it, some people will see the true me and embrace it and some people will be ambivilent, or there are those that can work themselves up into a true hatred.
I think far more detrimental and concerning are not those who hide their true selves but those that develop elaborate charades that don't just hide their true selves but deliberately misrepresent who they are.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
The simple answer would be that people can't really escape their essential tendencies and most people will notice those and think they know the person's true self...
BUT
I think people change the way they express their inner selves all the time. They may evolve or grow and therefore be different as time passes. And then there is the whole complication of place and the input of other people and situations...
I think it's all quite complex in the long run!!
It can take years to get to know anyone worth knowing.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
agreed,
I think people reveal their true natures very quickly, and they type online like how they are in real life.
"Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
6-01-06
6/25/08
Free Speedy
and Metsy!
Exactly. You kinda have to hide your true self with outsiders sometimes. Until I'm comfortable around people, I can seem somewhat stand offish.
Plus you need to be able to separate your work life from your home/social life.
You don't know me then...I am always the same....ask my friends and family, I don't have two selves...and I'm 17 months away from my half century mark...so far so good!
oxc
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
Congrats on the halfway mark...just got there myself in June with PJ MSG 1 and 2 being my party
As for my "public" and "private" self statement, I took a lot of psyche courses...LOL.
Still, if my "true self" includes some of my thoughts, motivations and actions or lack thereof based on such thought and motivations - I have to admit some are exclusive and I don't share them with anyone including the hubby and kids.
The question I have now is: what is a "true self"?
"Chirp"
In some situations - to hustle people.
I've had plenty of people think I'm just some girl who doesn't know anything about anything. Now, I've had PLENTY of "dumb blonde" moments to help with this perception at points, but I have certainly played to and used the perception to my advantage. Namely, when trying to cut through red tape held by a bunch of good ol' boys.
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.