Can you hide your true self?

decides2dream

i think eventually...it does come out. real life and even online....i think in time you *see* or recognize someone for who they are. quite honestly, if someone could hide their true nature to such a degree i would find that rather unhealthy and a wee bit scary .....but i think for most of us, we do want to be *known* for who we are inside, and in time, can't keep up the charade and reveal ourselves.


thoughts?
agree, disagree.....?

GraySaturday

I think it's sad that people feel like they can't be themselves all the time. I love who I am, and I'm proud of that.

I feel bad for people who can't have that too in their lives.

Rhinocerous Surprise

I think you can hide parts of your true self. But yeah, odds are the "real you" will come to the fore sooner or later - pretenses are hard to keep up indefinitely. But I'd also say that the longer, and more often, you hide your real self, the more you lose part of it.

"Can you see the real me?"

markymark550

Depends on who you're hiding your true self from. If it's from your significant other, there's no way that you could hide that for any great length of time. However, if it's at a job where you're around people that you aren't really friends with, then yeah I think it's possible. Most of my coworkers don't really know much about me at all. They know which college I went to, that I'm married, and my job description.

decides2dream

Rhinocerous Surprise wrote:

I think you can hide parts of your true self. But yeah, odds are the "real you" will come to the fore sooner or later - pretenses are hard to keep up indefinitely. But I'd also say that the longer, and more often, you hide your real self, the more you lose part of it.

"Can you see the real me?"

i agree.


and ooooooo...well done!

GraySaturday wrote:

I think it's sad that people feel like they can't be themselves all the time. I love who I am, and I'm proud of that.

I feel bad for people who can't have that too in their lives.

i just find it interesting. i also wonder the motivations at times. you're right though, being yourself is the best you can be. hmmm....isn't that an audioslave song?

you are

very true. quite a few years ago i noticed that i was a different person around different groups of people. i began to figure out what parts were really me and what wasn't me. i think i was afraid to be me around everyone. i was afraid they wouldn't like me. now, for the most part, i'm myself around everyone. i've found that honesty really does get you further. not that i was trying to be dishonest, i was a people pleaser....and so miserable. i feel like i have better relationships now and more confidence.

Rhinocerous Surprise

decides2dream wrote:

i agree.


and ooooooo...well done!

Someone was gonna make that pun, and dadgurnit, it was gonna be me.

The Champ

You're right, it would be creepy if someone could hide it to that degree..

failedpersephone

markymark550 wrote:

Depends on who you're hiding your true self from. If it's from your significant other, there's no way that you could hide that for any great length of time. However, if it's at a job where you're around people that you aren't really friends with, then yeah I think it's possible. Most of my coworkers don't really know much about me at all. They know which college I went to, that I'm married, and my job description.

I agree with this one. It depends, people that I currently work with - they don't know very much about me. They have a rather skewed view of me based on the desk decorations and the jokeyness (but my work jokes are more like lame-ass puns, and tongue in cheek happy goofball stuff)

i have held lots of different types of jobs and each one required a certain demeanor and behavior that was true to myself at the time but was also tempered and altered slightly for circumstances...I think that my true self (and other's true selves too) are actually made up of facets of personalities.

circumstantial facets. what you project should be close enough to your self, that there isn't a great schism between that and your work persona...but it's not like you should have your butt cheeks to the wind...

small town beck

I don't have that much energy.. besides I like me... I am quirky and lots of fun! I don't have time to pretend to be someone else and I hate fake people!!

It is scary plus I think it must be very sad.

urbanhippie

I hope I am the real me all the time. I may be reserved in front of people I don't know very well, but stick around and you'll get to know me pretty soon.

I don't have the time or the patience for a multitude of personalities and I have very little time or patience for others that do either.

Take me as you find me or don't bother

MrMerkinball

weird question

I am a private person by nature, but I don't have anything to hide. For those who know me, know me for who I really am.

I also have a kick ass poker face.

Flannel Shirt

Yes, I think people are typically who they are all the time. Wheter they mean to be or not. I have faith that people can see through bullshit most of the time. I dont mean you are the exact same person at work, in an interview, when you meet someone new to your life for the first time, as when you are with your family and friends, but you are probably pretty close.

If there is a dramatic difference, I would bet there is some sort of serious psychological issue going on.

norm

small town beck wrote:

I don't have that much energy.. besides I like me... I am quirky and lots of fun! I don't have time to pretend to be someone else and I hate fake people!!

It is scary plus I think it must be very sad.

ha! same here.....i'd get confused trying to remember which persona i'm supposed to be around certain people :eek:


and it's very sad when people are so insecure they have to make up persona's.....

Sian-of-the-dead

GraySaturday wrote:

I think it's sad that people feel like they can't be themselves all the time. I love who I am, and I'm proud of that.

I feel bad for people who can't have that too in their lives.

I whole heartedly agree, however, I have some friends that have an impression of my personality as they still haven't accepted the fact that i've changed and grown up. They still think I'm the person I was 4 years ago. To a certain degree I am, just nowhere near as much. Don't get me wrong, I give them snippets of the real me as much as I can as I don't believe in hiding who you really are, they just wouldn't accept it all at once so I do it for them. They're slowly coming round to the fact that i've changed but I still get stick for it. I don't mind though, I'm proud of who I am.

As for hiding who you are for your own gain or to just play games? Not for me. I agree that people's true colors always come through and they'll be seen for who they really are, regardless of motivation for doing it.

I can honestly say i'm the most comfortable i've ever been with who I am. My life is exactly where I want it and for the first time, I like me. A lot of that is to do with being happy in my life and being with Dave. Others aren't so lucky however. I believe that unhappiness and low self confidence can be your worst enemy and often lead to hiding things such as aspects or all of your real personality. Unfortunately, I do know many people like this :(

From an early age I believed that people's real personalities came through in their outward approach anyway. The worlds most gorgeous supermodel could easily be ugly, if her personality is that way inclined.

_Crazy_Mary_

markymark550 wrote:

Depends on who you're hiding your true self from. If it's from your significant other, there's no way that you could hide that for any great length of time. However, if it's at a job where you're around people that you aren't really friends with, then yeah I think it's possible. Most of my coworkers don't really know much about me at all. They know which college I went to, that I'm married, and my job description.

exactly!
The people I work with know a lot about me, but I'm a waitress and it's kind of like acting. So they don't really know me.

Fifthelement

Rhinocerous Surprise wrote:

"Can you see the real me?"

As I was reading this line Eddie was singing it. Very surreal when you've been up for over 40 hours.

I agree with STB . . . I don't have the energy or the time to be fake. I definitely have different facets for different situations . . . but essentially I'm the same person.


Cheers

CityMouse

markymark550 wrote:

Depends on who you're hiding your true self from. If it's from your significant other, there's no way that you could hide that for any great length of time. However, if it's at a job where you're around people that you aren't really friends with, then yeah I think it's possible. Most of my coworkers don't really know much about me at all. They know which college I went to, that I'm married, and my job description.

This is true, but I think that, in the course of being around people every day, you "know" them anyway. You may not know all the "facts" about them, but you have an idea of their personality. I'm just throwing this out there because how many times have you had a completely different idea of a coworker when you first meet them versus months in?

Although I also believe that none of us can truly "know" another person 100%. Even the people closest to us, if known our whole lives, etc. You can never FULLY understand what it's like to be someone else.

small town beck

_Crazy_Mary_ wrote:

exactly!
The people I work with know a lot about me, but I'm a waitress and it's kind of like acting. So they don't really know me.

I always thought when I was a server that it was kind of like acting but hey you can't really hide if you are shitty human being just the same. Co workers in restaurants are so interesting. We had a sexual harrassment(sp?) seminar at my office and I am thinking " I have worked in restaurants.. do I really need this?" but yes if I was being harrassed it is different I realize.

small town beck

Fifthelement wrote:

As I was reading this line Eddie was singing it. Very surreal when you've been up for over 40 hours.

I agree with STB . . . I don't have the energy or the time to be fake. I definitely have different facets for different situations . . . but essentially I'm the same person.


Cheers

Well said!

*waves hi to fifth* Get some sleep.. over 40 hours? Yikes!

Rhinocerous Surprise

The real answer to the original question: not if you're a serial nudist.

markymark550

CityMouse wrote:

This is true, but I think that, in the course of being around people every day, you "know" them anyway. You may not know all the "facts" about them, but you have an idea of their personality. I'm just throwing this out there because how many times have you had a completely different idea of a coworker when you first meet them versus months in?

I see your point there.

I guess it depends on how vibrant and active your work environment is. If you've got a subdued workplace and there isn't much conversation or chatting, you can (without even meaning to) conceal a lot of your personality. I'm sure that if I had a job where I had to be more outgoing, more of my personality would show, whether I wanted it to or not.

decides2dream

Rhinocerous Surprise wrote:

The real answer to the original question: not if you're a serial nudist.

Urban Hiker

Depending on the situation, I'll exaggerate certain aspects of my personality while subduing others. I think most of us do that. Duh.

Anywho. I've had a LOT of people get the "first" impression that I am an extrovert. I smile a lot, laugh really loud, I can be very assertive....
But, I'm not. I am an introvert. However, after years of being the new kid when growing up and doing customer service type gigs as an adult, I can play extrovert when needed.
People who try to initiate a friendship based on the first impression are up for disappointment.

My smile also hides my venomous tongue. The looks I get when I finally let loose in front of people are classic.

I don't think I really hide my true self. It's all me, just some of it seems a little contradictory.

smarchee

this thread provided the opportunity for my brain to remind me of that Cindy Lauper song that goes...."I see your true colours........" da da da

argh

small town beck

smarchee wrote:

this thread provided the opportunity for my brain to remind me of that Cindy Lauper song that goes...."I see your true colours........" da da da

argh

Cyndi Lauper rocks!! I saw her in Montreal a few years ago... I mean she is no ABBA

smarchee

small town beck wrote:

ABBA

EVIL !!!!

small town beck

smarchee wrote:

EVIL !!!!

Maybe I will call you from Mammia Mia tomorrow, just so you can hear it


*sorry d2d, not meaning to hijack*

smarchee

small town beck wrote:

Maybe I will call you from Mammia Mia tomorrow, just so you can hear it


*sorry d2d, not meaning to hijack*

call BLOCK

ok, no more hijacking too

decides2dream

smarchee wrote:

this thread provided the opportunity for my brain to remind me of that Cindy Lauper song that goes...."I see your true colours........" da da da

argh

THIS made me laugh!

small town beck wrote:

*sorry d2d, not meaning to hijack*

you're just being your true self.
and sure...take it to PMs. haha.

comebackwoman

The true essence of who I am always comes through...and it's not something I would want to hide from anyone. However, there are only a select few people who truly know all and everything about me and my life. I choose what I feel comfortable sharing with certain people based on the type of relationship I have with them and how comfortable I feel with them. That's just good judgment IMO. I'm usually good at reading other people also...and seeing through their various masks - recognizing false bravado or when someone is covering up pain or even false friendliness. I think this is a necessary part of being able to do my job well. However I usually honor whatever someone is showing at any given time and recognize that there's probably a reason for it...and I don't necessarily need to know the reason.