For the first time in my life, I'm scared and don't know what to do.

libragirl

You seem like your in better spirits today . That is good.

EvilMerlin

libragirl wrote:

You seem like your in better spirits today . That is good.

I'm just trying to keep my mind off things. Talking to a few of you hear really succeeds at that.

So this helps while tonight is bound to be an ugly night.

But yes, seriously, I'm only going to be like 30 miles from the Gorge. So to think that PJ might play there(I say this without hearing even one rumor haha) can really keep my spirits up a bit.

libragirl

EvilMerlin wrote:

I'm just trying to keep my mind off things. Talking to a few of you hear really succeeds at that.

So this helps while tonight is bound to be an ugly night.

But yes, seriously, I'm only going to be like 30 miles from the Gorge. So to think that PJ might play there(I say this without hearing even one rumor haha) can really keep my spirits up a bit.

ah..well you never know..I will keep my fingers crossed for you

EvilMerlin

libragirl wrote:

ah..well you never know..I will keep my fingers crossed for you

Thanks!

Heineken Helen

EvilMerlin wrote:

Yeah I'm going, my work is making it a pain in my ass talking about them about trips home. They want to schedule when I go home rather than me do it, so I'm just going to shut my mouth and when something pops up I'm just going to take the emergency trips myself rather than deal with people down here to create my schedule for me while I'm off in Washington. I guess I'll just kind of ignore it. I get four day weekends once a month, so I'd rather save those for when I need them, not when they want me to go.

My only complaint with myself right now, I'm sure I'll be able to deal with the guilt and get that cleared, it's just my mood swings of, one second I'm excited to go in a way trying to give myself things to look forward to, like someone visiting me, or me coming back home. But then I get bored of the thought and go back to, ugh it'd just be easier if I stayed. Once I get there and get those thoughts to settle down, then it'll be a bit better. I know it's temporary, I guess what would help is if I just knew an end date as that's up in the air right now for when I get to come back home.

Or maybe PJ announcing a show or two at the gorge since I'll be right by there. That'd give me something positive in my mind and look forward too. Ahh here's hoping!

Ya know... it's ALWAYS easier to stay... but 'easy' can often be 'boring'. I'm in the process of trying to put a date on a big change pretty soon... but because it's up to me, I keep thinking 'I'll wait and see what happens' but of course, nothing ever happens to force me into just doing it... and I really WANT to do it... but I just want it to 'be done' if ya know what I mean At least you've got a bit of a push... I wish I had that right now Things will be fine... and ya know where we are if they aren't.

sponger

Call me a big sissy, but I've been scared and confused more times than I can count.

Jeanie

Heineken Helen wrote:

Yep, I agree... sometimes the best course of action is to do nothing at all. You can only control your own actions and it's not always up to you to fix the mistakes of others. When you let go, really let go, it feels good.

Sometimes you can't even control your own actions. Or what is happening with you. But yeah, letting go, really just throwing up your hands and letting go, it can be very cathartic and sometimes seems to give you more control I think.