I just...don't know what to do (girl problems)

HailHailVitalogy

Ok so if there is anyone willing to give me advice, now is the time. Please read the whole thing if you are kind enough to give your advice.

7 more days and I leave school to go back home for the summer.

When school began I found a group of people that branched off a little bit. Within this group was a girl named Brittney, and she was absolutely gorgeous and she had this southern personality that was attractive for a northerner like me. She had a boyfriend since senior year of high school that she was dating. She still dated him up until 3 weeks ago, when they broke up. During the time they were dating we were kind of the "opposite sex best friends".

She began spending time with another guy, that she got into a big fight two nights ago and I don't know whats going on with that. Since her and her boyfriend broke up, we have been going out to get food and going out together a little more. She always comes to me with her problems that she doesn't tell anyone. Then she suggests that me and her go on a "fake date" and get dressed up and do something because she's been stressed and wants to be taken out by a nice guy.

Many people would read into that as her asking me out...but most likely is what she said, a fake date. That happens this Friday night.

I like this girl a lot, and I'm not one for expressing my feelings out face to face because I'm worried about the outcome. I was thinking of writing her a letter and leaving it in her room on her desk...i don't know

It's so confusing, this girl is absolutely amazing. I've never really felt this way about any other girl that I have met. I mean sometimes she flirts with me a lot and does really cute things. For example, last week I went to get food with her and a few friends, and I locked my keys in the car and i was really ticked off...she walks away and buys me ice cream and brings it back....the little things in life!!

I don't really know what advice I'm seeking...I guess how to go about this? She's staying the summer at school and taking classes while I'm home...this timing sucks! But I am coming back down for a week in June and then August...

MerkingBoy

tell hur u luv hur & want 2 4ter da relachin ship n2 a mo oph BF/GF typ.

HailHailVitalogy

ok eminem...english? lol

harmless_little_f***

Just swallow it up and ask her out man! I don't know how old you are but letters on desks are a bit early 90's/ Saved by the Bell.

MerkingBoy

HailHailVitalogy wrote:

ok eminem...english? lol

dat'z how I tawk 2 a gurl n pursin. str8 gangsta. tey lyk it!

restlesssoul

in the words of tupac : " now tell me, is it cool to fuck?"




but seriously, it sounds like you were her 3rd choice, she's just rebounding and i dont think she cares for you the way you do about her. just because its cruel doesnt mean its not true. dont do anything but leave, and if you see her when you go back, see what happens then. trust me, time is on your side.

stylo17

MerkingBoy wrote:

dat'z how I tawk 2 a gurl n pursin. str8 gangsta. tey lyk it!

MOVING ON....


dude I've done both things. 1) tell her how you feel, or 2) don't tell her how you feel and enjoy every minute with her. depending on the girl, she may react well or poorly to you telling her how you really feel. some girls will see it as "awkward" that their best friend likes them, and it can ruin the friendship you two have because she wants a friendship and you want more. or some girls will say "no let's stay friends" and move on and keep the relationship the same it was prior to you saying that. but some girls will give you a shot and go out with you, even if you were previously good friends. obviously, that's what we're hoping for here.

if you DON'T tell her how you feel, you know that at least you will stay close friends, but nothing more. and that, over time, can really eat away at you. and that's completely normal. yes you want to include yourself in her life in a different way but you also don't want to lose her friendship. really, if you don't tell her, you may end up driving yourself crazy, and not wanting to talk to her or be with her anymore because it makes you miserable (especially when she tells you about the other guys involved in her life).

Timing is another issue. it doesn't seem like there has been a lot of time between her past relationship, take that into consideration. only you can gauge how she feels about that relationship.

Oh, I also wouldn't really do the letter thing, I would just say it to her in person. pick the right occasion (go get ice cream or grab a bite) and just look her in the eye and say it. say whatever comes out, be natural, you don't want her to like someone you really aren't.

whatever you decide, good luck. personal recommendation: tell her. you only live once, with no regrets, and you never want to think years down the road "if only I had said something."

Heineken Helen

Which thread do you see most on here:

People regretting telling their friend how they feel years later?

Or

People regretting the one that got away years later?

Just off hand... I'd go with the latter. Treat it as a fake date at first but treat her really well and show her what she COULD have with you.

MerkingBoy

Heineken Helen wrote:

Which thread do you see most on here:

People regretting telling their friend how they feel years later?

Or

People regretting the one that got away years later?

Just off hand... I'd go with the latter. Treat it as a fake date at first but treat her really well and show her what she COULD have with you.

:(

Heineken Helen

MerkingBoy wrote:

:(

:( I'm sorry... but it just wasn't meant to be though, eh? I've had two that got away... but I'm now with somebody amazing so if I could turn back the clock and change things... absolutely no chance in fucking hell . You'll find your one too! I know it doesn't feel like it and you're probably hating me right now for even saying it... but I'm always right

MerkingBoy

Heineken Helen wrote:

:( I'm sorry... but it just wasn't meant to be though, eh? I've had two that got away... but I'm now with somebody amazing so if I could turn back the clock and change things... absolutely no chance in fucking hell . You'll find your one too! I know it doesn't feel like it and you're probably hating me right now for even saying it... but I'm always right

Pahlus(+),
Dis 1 got ah way 2 dis gigh

westsidepie

Heineken Helen wrote:

Which thread do you see most on here:

People regretting telling their friend how they feel years later?

Or

People regretting the one that got away years later?

Just off hand... I'd go with the latter. Treat it as a fake date at first but treat her really well and show her what she COULD have with you.

I agree with Helen. Be there as you always were, and let the light come on for her. In other words, see if it becomes her idea to change the nature of the relationship. I would give her some time by keeping your relationship going, but at some point you have to say how you feel. I would also probably phrase it something like, "lately I have started to see you in a different way, and my feelings for you have changed." Don't do this by letter.

Whizbang

restlesssoul wrote:

in the words of tupac : " now tell me, is it cool to fuck?"




but seriously, it sounds like you were her 3rd choice, she's just rebounding and i dont think she cares for you the way you do about her. just because its cruel doesnt mean its not true. dont do anything but leave, and if you see her when you go back, see what happens then. trust me, time is on your side.

I have to go with restlesssoul here. She's rebounding and looking to avoid being alone. A lot of women, especially young women, tend to jump from one lily pad to the next and almost always do it with a "safety guy" in mind. Men do it too but it's more common with women. I do say you should tell her you care about her, like her but that you're headed home for the summer and you'll see her in the fall. Yes, time is on your side.

electronblue

if you have to go..you could leave her some beautiful poetic pearl jam verses such as the ones below...~



Is there room enough for both of us?
Both of us apart?
Are we bound out of obligation?
Is that all we've got?
Get the words, and then I get to thinkin'
I don't wanna think, I wanna feel
How do I feel?
How do I?...

If you're the only one, will I never be enough?
Hail, hail the lucky ones, I refer to those in love

Swore I'd love you till the day I die, ah and beyond...
Are we going to the same place? If so, can I come?
It's egg rolling thick and heavy
All the past you carry
Oh, I could be new... you underestimate me

If you're the only one, will I never be enough?
Hail, hail the lucky ones, I refer to those in love

Sometimes realize, I could only be as good as you'll let me
Are you woman enough to be my man?
Bandaged hand in hand

I find it on the run in a race that can't be won
All hail the lucky ones, I refer to those in love, yeah
If you're my only one, so could you only one?
I want to be your one, enough...
Your one...your one...your one...

SENROCK

restlesssoul wrote:

in the words of tupac : " now tell me, is it cool to fuck?"

'how do you want it? how do you need it?'

Jeremy1012

Been there mate, exact same situation, even down to the fake date, although that happened when she was still seeing her boyfriend and he just couldn't make it to a formal event so I went with her since we were such good friends that her boyfriend referred to me as her "other boyfriend" jokingly. When they broke up, I started having really strong feelings for her, basically fell for her and she started showing an interest. At the end of the day, it was a rebound thing for her and she wasn't really interested but I was totally in love, blah di blah, I told her how I felt, she freaked out, our friendship was never the same, I sunk into an 8 month on-off depression over the loss of my best friend/girl I loved.

Moral of the story is, even though it wouldn't necessarily be the same for you, you might live happily ever after if you tell her how you feel, for me, and our stories sound VERY similar, it all went to shit and I regularly think about how much I regret it. I don't even care about the loss of the romantic prospects anymore, that fades and yours would too, I just wish I still had her as a friend. I would therefore think very carefully about whether or not you want to risk that because no matter how much you think you know this girl, you never know how a situation like this will pan out. I never thought in a million years that my friend would just cut me out completely, I thought if she knocked me back our friendship would hold up. I guess I was naive But you live and learn. Just be careful.

Jeremy1012

SENROCK! wrote:

'how do you want it? how do you need it?'

'I love the way you activate your hips n' push your ass out'


what an opening line

SENROCK

Jeremy1012 wrote:

'I love the way you activate your hips n' push your ass out'


what an opening line

DAMN i LOVE this song!!!!!

markymark550

Like a lot of others here, I've been through a similar situation. Mine never got to the "fake date" part as I told the girl how I felt before it got to that point. Needless to say, it was hard to stay friends and eventually our friendship dissolved. Rejection hurt, depression ensued, same old story....thankfully, I met the woman I would fall in love with and would marry not too much long after being rejected.

Basically, you've got a choice between romance and friendship. If your romantic feelings outweigh the friendship, then you should tell her how you feel. She might feel the same way and you two could have a great romantic relationship. However, if losing her as a friend is not an acceptable outcome if she doesn't feel the same way, then don't risk losing the friendship. Don't be naive to think that you two can remain friends if you tell her and she rejects you. I hate to say it, but in most cases it just doesn't work out like that.

Fortunate Son1

Hey dude...I know how you feel because I'm a pretty shy pretty shy guy too and its hard for me to say what I feel sometimes, but I say you gotta talk to her and let you know how you feel....don't wait for her to find out, for 2 reasons:
1) You'll show a 'take charge' attitude.....chicks dig that
2) You gotta do it for yourself, instead of waiting for her, because at the end of the day, nobody looks out for you but yourself. If some other dude digs her, he's not gonna hold back because of your feelings for her.

stickboy

you need to step up son. Show her why youre the guy thats not gonna treat her like the rest of these guys do. I do agree with Whizbang and restless..its like Chris Rock said about women and Platonic relationships
you know what a Platonic Friend is to a woman? Its like a D**k in a glass case! In case of emergency...BREAK GLASS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVIWW0k3qaI&feature=related


hey ROCKY... Comin up as a nigga in the cash game
livin in the fast lane; I'm for real