Just kidding.. but it seems like there was a reason it ended, and maybe a snap marriage proposal was taken as nothing more then a joking way to break the ice and reconnect via email. If I got a marriage proposal via email from an old boyfriend, I would write back, but I wouldn't take it seriously. That being said, once I wrote back and never heard from that person ever again, I would totally chalk it up to a joke, and be annoyed at myself that I wrote back in the first place, because I'd feel like you were mocking me.
But that is just me. I say if she is married and its been that long, then its time to chalk it up to a loss, and move on.
\
Yes but would you have responded in the way that she responded? Would you have mentioned stuff about being embarrassed by the period of time during which you were seeing said guy?
Yes but would you have responded in the way that she responded? Would you have mentioned stuff about being embarrassed by the period of time during which you were seeing said guy?
Well she was embarrassed about her teen years. It wasn't a dig on you outright. I acted WAY different then I did as a teen, and sure there are things I look back on and I would never think to say some of the things, or act the way I did as a teenager. I don't take what she wrote to you, as her being embarrassed as to being with you, but just that some people look back and think, wow, I'm such a different person. I can't say I would have responded exactly like her, because A. I don't know her situation, and B. I don't know the relationship she had with you. But I would have sent back something of that nature. I took it to mean she was trying to break the ice, and be like, Hey buddy don't beat yourself up over the past, we were kids...
I took it to mean she was trying to break the ice, and be like, Hey buddy don't beat yourself up over the past, we were kids...
Actually, that does make a lot of sense. I had apologized for being a "schmuck" in my e-mail. I guess that was her really fucked up way of forgiving me. It's not like her to speak in codes like that.
Actually, that does make a lot of sense. I had apologized for being a "schmuck" in my e-mail. I guess that was her really fucked up way of forgiving me. It's not like her to speak in codes like that.
don't most women speak in code??
you're not the first guy to not understand a woman....
you're not the first guy to not understand a woman....
.....and not the last
pass the morphine please...heh heh j/k. I'll get over it..someday. She is such a bombshell now..so unbelievably beautiful...the man she is with does not deserve her no matter how rich and successful he is. Or maybe he does deserve her...
wait, what is going here? You e-mailed this girl you knew back in the day, who is married to someone else, to ask her to marry you?
What's up with that?
I mean what do you expect an already married woman to say?
I don't like that you posted someone's e-mail response, I think that should stay private
and it's hard to gauge her response w/o seeing what you wrote.
having said all that, her response actually seems genuinely nice
but I can't get down w/home wrecking, (no offense)
I mean do you really still love her?
"...like a word misplaced, nothing said, what a waste.."
"Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
6-01-06
6/25/08
Free Speedy
and Metsy!
wait, what is going here? You e-mailed this girl you knew back in the day, who is married to someone else, to ask her to marry you?
What's up with that?
I mean what do you expect an already married woman to say?
I don't like that you posted someone's e-mail response, I think that should stay private
and it's hard to gauge her response w/o seeing what you wrote.
having said all that, her response actually seems genuinely nice
but I can't get down w/home wrecking, (no offense)
I mean do you really still love her?
She was not married at the time I wrote her.
And...privacy? Without knowing her name, e-mail address, or anything about her at all for that matter, I don't see what the problem is.
Do I still lover her? To put it plainly, I have not been able to stop thinking about her since I dumped her. I was really pissed off one night and I dumped her.
Since then, every woman I've been with over the last 13 years has been compared to her in my mind. I've been confronted twice by two separate women about my feelings about a lifetime commitment, and I had to say no because I still can't get this girl out of my mind.
I went a friend's wedding a couple of years ago and it compelled me to e-mail my ex-g/f from my high school days and ask her to marry me. I had not seen or talked to her in years.
I did not respond to her response because I figured she was politely telling me to get lost. Also, she's devoutly catholic and I told her that I was still an atheist -hence her PS response.
A polite "get lost", right?
Are teenage dreams so hard to beat
Everytime she walks down the street
Another girl in the neighbourhood
Wish she was mine, she looks so good
I wanna hold her wanna hold her tight
Get teenage kicks right through the night
I'm gonna call her on the telephone
Have her over cos i'm all alone
I need exitement oh i need it bad
And its the best, i've ever had
I wanna hold her wanna hold her tight
Get teenage kicks right through the night
I wanna hold her wanna hold her tight
Get teenage kicks right through the night
And...privacy? Without knowing her name, e-mail address, or anything about her at all for that matter, I don't see what the problem is.
Do I still lover her? To put it plainly, I have not been able to stop thinking about her since I dumped her. I was really pissed off one night and I dumped her.
Since then, every woman I've been with over the last 13 years has been compared to her in my mind. I've been confronted twice by two separate women about my feelings about a lifetime commitment, and I had to say no because I still can't get this girl out of my mind.
even though you took out the identifying info
I find it a bit unsettling that's someone's words taken and posted on a msg board w/o their knowledge. I'm sure she didn't think that's where her words were going when she wrote you back.
and
whoa :eek:
Man that's deep
No offense to you but why has it taken that long to get back in touch with her then, what happened
and is she now married? I'm confused by all that, I thought people were saying she's married
Edit: I re-read
You sent her that e-mail 2 yrs ago before she got married and now she is married?
What happened, you never wrote her back 2 yrs ago and then yada yada and she got married?
"...like a word misplaced, nothing said, what a waste.."
"Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
6-01-06
6/25/08
Free Speedy
and Metsy!
cool....didn't want to come off as a dick....seeing your recent responses it seems you're not really over her....which sucks....best to just let her go....probably hurt but you gotta move on at some point, no?
And...privacy? Without knowing her name, e-mail address, or anything about her at all for that matter, I don't see what the problem is.
Do I still lover her? To put it plainly, I have not been able to stop thinking about her since I dumped her. I was really pissed off one night and I dumped her.
Since then, every woman I've been with over the last 13 years has been compared to her in my mind. I've been confronted twice by two separate women about my feelings about a lifetime commitment, and I had to say no because I still can't get this girl out of my mind.
From what she said in the email, saying that she did a lot of stupid things during her teen years and a totally different person now. Which you shouldn't take as your to blame neither, most of us do things we look back and think it's was stupid or weird [I got plenty of those. ]
How would it work if you had a chance to get back with her anyways, because her personally has chanced. It'll be like dating someone new, sort of.
It's another one of those "I let that one get away" stories again. I hate hearing those. :( but i hope you will be able to move on...or at least reconnect with her as a friendship to soften the pain a bit. I don't know what the answer is for you because she's married.
When she said "My teen years a bit of an embarassment" is she referring to you? I think she just cut you down brother.
She aint worth it anyway....
Sydney 11/02/2003
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
What a bitch. I hope you have some naughty photos to spread to all your mates. and of course all AET posters...
Sydney 11/02/2003
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
We all make mistakes, have regrets, etc. I say "move on."
If I had known then what I know now...
Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
VIC 07
EV LA1 08
Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
Columbus 10
EV LA 11
Vancouver 11
Missoula 12
Portland 13, Spokane 13
St. Paul 14, Denver 14
Yes but would you have responded in the way that she responded? Would you have mentioned stuff about being embarrassed by the period of time during which you were seeing said guy?
this is a narcissistic view. you are assuming that you defined that period of her life. she's saying that she was embarrassed of the way SHE behaved as a teenager. she happened to be dating you at the time. you're giving yourself too much credit.
honestly, I can't believe after years of never talking to someone you dated IN HIGH SCHOOL, you emailed her and PROPOSED. Like GraySaturday, I would have either thought it was a joke, or I would have been a wee bit sketched out. and now, 2 years later, you're reading so far into the response. You sent her an awkward email and she sent you an awkward email back. it wasn't some criptic message, she was just trying to figure out how on earth to respond to such a weird email.
Back in those days, I was a psychopathic drug-addict, getting into fights and in-and-out of rehab.
My dad was a phsyically and emotionally abusive jack-ass.
So, anyway, I was nuts.
I saw lots of girls back then. Most of them were fucked up just like I was, if not worse.
She was the first girl who was not my partner in crime. She was what you would call a "good girl."
And she always told me that I would one day turn it around and defy the statistics. She would always say that I was smart, that I was a victim of my circumstances, and that she was going to be there for me when I decided to make a change in my life.
Well eventually that happened. I cleaned up, got a business degree from calstate, and now I make OK money at a firm. It's not great money, but I suppose it could be a lot worse.
From what my friends told me over the years, she dated pretty "normal" guys after she and I had our falling out. One was a firefighter, another was a graduate student at UCSD.
So, in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but wonder if she looked upon me as a black mark on her list of former acquaintances. And that's why I got jumpy at the first sign of it.
Of course, my choice in women improved somewhat after my choice of lifestyle changed. But, over the years I always remembered that she was able to figure out who I was before I knew who I was.
And, to me, that makes her an extraordinary person on top of her looks and brains. I think if any of my current peer group knew of my past, they would cast a judgmental eye upon me. Whereas she had the ability to see beyond it.
I don't think I've met anyone else like that, and I think what keeps me hanging on is the fear that I never will.
move on and stop obsessing...The negative energy you spend dwelling on this would be better channelled into positive energy finding yourself a new special someone - possibly someone even better. You seem to be in love with the teenage version of her, and believe you me, nobody is the same as they were when they were a teenager. And if you were as wrecked and stoned all the time as you imply you were, your memory of her might not be accurate. Just saying. It is hard to compare everyone to the standard you have set based on a possibly foggy memory rather than someone reality based.
I dwelled in the past and obsessed over stupid things and lost sleep and I should have said this and and I should have done that...turns out that was part of my clinical depression, and it took massive amounts of counselling to get over that way of thinking. And actually, meds stopped the ruminating thoughts almost instantly...
I realize that I don't know you or anything about you, but you seemed to want some opinions, so that's mine. Take it or leave it...
move on and stop obsessing...The negative energy you spend dwelling on this would be better channelled into positive energy finding yourself a new special someone - possibly someone even better. You seem to be in love with the teenage version of her, and believe you me, nobody is the same as they were when they were a teenager. And if you were as wrecked and stoned all the time as you imply you were, your memory of her might not be accurate. Just saying. It is hard to compare everyone to the standard you have set based on a possibly foggy memory rather than someone reality based.
I dwelled in the past and obsessed over stupid things and lost sleep and I should have said this and and I should have done that...turns out that was part of my clinical depression, and it took massive amounts of counselling to get over that way of thinking. And actually, meds stopped the ruminating thoughts almost instantly...
I realize that I don't know you or anything about you, but you seemed to want some opinions, so that's mine. Take it or leave it...
Opinions are great. Honestly....no one including yourself has said anything that I haven't thought before.
Yes I know marriage proposals should be done face to face. It's just that she lives 2 hrs away and whenever I dropped her an e-mail over the years she was always in a relationship.
I had no doubt in my mind that I wanted to her marry, so I thought I'd just throw it out there so I could get it over and done with.
2hrs away isn't really that far for a girl you want to marry
standin above the crowd
he had a voice that was strong and loud and
i swallowed his facade cos i'm so
eager to identify with
someone above the crowd
someone who seemed to feel the same
someone prepared to lead the way
I'm not really sure what to say, i guess the girl is the only one who knows the answer to your question. The only thing i would maybe like to contribute is, that i think some people rely too much on computers and text messages and things like that for communication. I mean they are great in some instances, for staying in touch with people you don't see on a regular basis and things like that.
Anything of a personal nature, like asking someone out on a date, or breaking up with your partner, (i can't believe people do this via a cell phone text message), or asking them to marry you, should never be done electronically. It just becomes so impersonal and almost cold.
If it was me, i'd much rather hear it face to face.
Best wishes though, there will be someone else out there for you one day.
Comments
Yes but would you have responded in the way that she responded? Would you have mentioned stuff about being embarrassed by the period of time during which you were seeing said guy?
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
add in there-flights and long drives too!!!
Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!
"Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95
It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
Well she was embarrassed about her teen years. It wasn't a dig on you outright. I acted WAY different then I did as a teen, and sure there are things I look back on and I would never think to say some of the things, or act the way I did as a teenager. I don't take what she wrote to you, as her being embarrassed as to being with you, but just that some people look back and think, wow, I'm such a different person. I can't say I would have responded exactly like her, because A. I don't know her situation, and B. I don't know the relationship she had with you. But I would have sent back something of that nature. I took it to mean she was trying to break the ice, and be like, Hey buddy don't beat yourself up over the past, we were kids...
Actually, that does make a lot of sense. I had apologized for being a "schmuck" in my e-mail. I guess that was her really fucked up way of forgiving me. It's not like her to speak in codes like that.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
don't most women speak in code??
you're not the first guy to not understand a woman....
.....and not the last
pass the morphine please...heh heh j/k. I'll get over it..someday. She is such a bombshell now..so unbelievably beautiful...the man she is with does not deserve her no matter how rich and successful he is. Or maybe he does deserve her...
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
yep!! probably a little creeped out too.....2 years time and an email proposal? she probably thought you were drunk....no offense
What's up with that?
I mean what do you expect an already married woman to say?
I don't like that you posted someone's e-mail response, I think that should stay private
and it's hard to gauge her response w/o seeing what you wrote.
having said all that, her response actually seems genuinely nice
but I can't get down w/home wrecking, (no offense)
I mean do you really still love her?
"Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
6-01-06
6/25/08
Free Speedy
and Metsy!
She was not married at the time I wrote her.
And...privacy? Without knowing her name, e-mail address, or anything about her at all for that matter, I don't see what the problem is.
Do I still lover her? To put it plainly, I have not been able to stop thinking about her since I dumped her. I was really pissed off one night and I dumped her.
Since then, every woman I've been with over the last 13 years has been compared to her in my mind. I've been confronted twice by two separate women about my feelings about a lifetime commitment, and I had to say no because I still can't get this girl out of my mind.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
I appreciate your honesty.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
Are teenage dreams so hard to beat
Everytime she walks down the street
Another girl in the neighbourhood
Wish she was mine, she looks so good
I wanna hold her wanna hold her tight
Get teenage kicks right through the night
I'm gonna call her on the telephone
Have her over cos i'm all alone
I need exitement oh i need it bad
And its the best, i've ever had
I wanna hold her wanna hold her tight
Get teenage kicks right through the night
I wanna hold her wanna hold her tight
Get teenage kicks right through the night
even though you took out the identifying info
I find it a bit unsettling that's someone's words taken and posted on a msg board w/o their knowledge. I'm sure she didn't think that's where her words were going when she wrote you back.
and
whoa :eek:
Man that's deep
No offense to you but why has it taken that long to get back in touch with her then, what happened
and is she now married? I'm confused by all that, I thought people were saying she's married
Edit: I re-read
You sent her that e-mail 2 yrs ago before she got married and now she is married?
What happened, you never wrote her back 2 yrs ago and then yada yada and she got married?
"Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
6-01-06
6/25/08
Free Speedy
and Metsy!
cool....didn't want to come off as a dick....seeing your recent responses it seems you're not really over her....which sucks....best to just let her go....probably hurt but you gotta move on at some point, no?
How would it work if you had a chance to get back with her anyways, because her personally has chanced. It'll be like dating someone new, sort of.
It's another one of those "I let that one get away" stories again. I hate hearing those. :( but i hope you will be able to move on...or at least reconnect with her as a friendship to soften the pain a bit. I don't know what the answer is for you because she's married.
EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
"Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
6-01-06
6/25/08
Free Speedy
and Metsy!
At no point did I say that I was interested in doing that.
All I'm saying is that after hearing about her marriage, I remembered this e-mail, gave it a second glance, and just pondered its meaning.
Thank you everyone for your responses.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
She aint worth it anyway....
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
That's what I'm saying.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
What a bitch. I hope you have some naughty photos to spread to all your mates.
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
We all make mistakes, have regrets, etc. I say "move on."
Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
VIC 07
EV LA1 08
Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
Columbus 10
EV LA 11
Vancouver 11
Missoula 12
Portland 13, Spokane 13
St. Paul 14, Denver 14
this is a narcissistic view. you are assuming that you defined that period of her life. she's saying that she was embarrassed of the way SHE behaved as a teenager. she happened to be dating you at the time. you're giving yourself too much credit.
honestly, I can't believe after years of never talking to someone you dated IN HIGH SCHOOL, you emailed her and PROPOSED. Like GraySaturday, I would have either thought it was a joke, or I would have been a wee bit sketched out. and now, 2 years later, you're reading so far into the response. You sent her an awkward email and she sent you an awkward email back. it wasn't some criptic message, she was just trying to figure out how on earth to respond to such a weird email.
Over-analyzation alert!!!
Not necessarily when considering the context.
Back in those days, I was a psychopathic drug-addict, getting into fights and in-and-out of rehab.
My dad was a phsyically and emotionally abusive jack-ass.
So, anyway, I was nuts.
I saw lots of girls back then. Most of them were fucked up just like I was, if not worse.
She was the first girl who was not my partner in crime. She was what you would call a "good girl."
And she always told me that I would one day turn it around and defy the statistics. She would always say that I was smart, that I was a victim of my circumstances, and that she was going to be there for me when I decided to make a change in my life.
Well eventually that happened. I cleaned up, got a business degree from calstate, and now I make OK money at a firm. It's not great money, but I suppose it could be a lot worse.
From what my friends told me over the years, she dated pretty "normal" guys after she and I had our falling out. One was a firefighter, another was a graduate student at UCSD.
So, in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but wonder if she looked upon me as a black mark on her list of former acquaintances. And that's why I got jumpy at the first sign of it.
Of course, my choice in women improved somewhat after my choice of lifestyle changed. But, over the years I always remembered that she was able to figure out who I was before I knew who I was.
And, to me, that makes her an extraordinary person on top of her looks and brains. I think if any of my current peer group knew of my past, they would cast a judgmental eye upon me. Whereas she had the ability to see beyond it.
I don't think I've met anyone else like that, and I think what keeps me hanging on is the fear that I never will.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
I dwelled in the past and obsessed over stupid things and lost sleep and I should have said this and and I should have done that...turns out that was part of my clinical depression, and it took massive amounts of counselling to get over that way of thinking. And actually, meds stopped the ruminating thoughts almost instantly...
I realize that I don't know you or anything about you, but you seemed to want some opinions, so that's mine. Take it or leave it...
Opinions are great. Honestly....no one including yourself has said anything that I haven't thought before.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
Asking an ex you haven't seen in years to marry you...via e-mail, is just nuts.
Did you relapse?
So you're saying that I was right about her response? That she was telling me to go climb up a tree?
There are some people who think otherwise. In which case, it's not as "nuts" as you make it sound.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
2hrs away isn't really that far for a girl you want to marry
he had a voice that was strong and loud and
i swallowed his facade cos i'm so
eager to identify with
someone above the crowd
someone who seemed to feel the same
someone prepared to lead the way
Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!
"Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95
It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
I'm not really sure what to say, i guess the girl is the only one who knows the answer to your question. The only thing i would maybe like to contribute is, that i think some people rely too much on computers and text messages and things like that for communication. I mean they are great in some instances, for staying in touch with people you don't see on a regular basis and things like that.
Anything of a personal nature, like asking someone out on a date, or breaking up with your partner, (i can't believe people do this via a cell phone text message), or asking them to marry you, should never be done electronically. It just becomes so impersonal and almost cold.
If it was me, i'd much rather hear it face to face.
Best wishes though, there will be someone else out there for you one day.