I've been ordered to make friends

sennin

Urban Hiker wrote:

*imagines world with future plans and flocks of people*

*feels faint*

*starts to hyperventilate*

Just Kidding.

I like beer and I like Pearl Jam fans, so Fado's seems like a good fit.

I think dreams is in cahoots with my therapist.

Maybe they're one in the same. :eek:

Urban Hiker

sennin wrote:

I have to get up at 5:45 most mornings....so getting drunk at Fado on a Wednesday night is rare. Only when we get visitors from afar does that happen.

Sometimes Whole Foods, sometimes at the new QFC near the Needle. We went to the Met Market the other day....it's ok. Mostly QFC and Pike Place though. We're down on Elliott, so Pike Place is only a couple blocks away. But I don't talk to people in lines, that's Jams.

I stand there silent most times, trying to avoid eye contact. I really like grocery shopping though.

5:45? That would be sleeping in for me. I have to get up by 4:15 to take the dogs for a walk so they don't eat the couch. http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b48/2dogs4cats/Timber%20Mess/?action=view&current=TimberMess.jpg

If I get drunk on weeknight, I think I'm risking waking up drunk. :eek: Still it's amazing how much steeper hills seem even after a couple of beers.

You guys have an awesome shopping selection at your end of town. I usually end up at the Harvard Market QFC. Too many damn hills to go anywhere else.

And I can be funny on the eye contact thing while I'm in the aisles shopping. I'm pretty sure I've walked right past one of my neighbors I talk to all of the time, because I never really looked directly at him. In my defense, I think I didn't recognize him, 'cause he was without his dog. Kind of a 'Clark Kent' effect. It was only on my way home that I was like, "Oh shit, I think I walked right past Schroeder's owner!" - Yeah, I don't actually know his name, just the dog's. hehe

libragirl

Friends are overrated. I like acquaintances.

sennin

Urban Hiker wrote:

5:45? That would be sleeping in for me. I have to get up by 4:15 to take the dogs for a walk so they don't eat the couch. http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b48/2dogs4cats/Timber%20Mess/?action=view&current=TimberMess.jpg

Holy crap!

LONGRD

i dont hate my "close"friends but goddamn we are lame. all we do is play video games,poker,get drunk & shit like that.
this summer i made some new friends who are more into productive stuff but all they do is go to the gym & dance clubs.
i dont think i've ever had any friends that are relative to my interest.that kind of friendship is hard to find.

Thecure

in some ways your lucky. i am so confortable talking with everyone. my biggest problem is that when/if a women shows any interest in me i become so quiet that the women takes it that i am an asshole and then does not talk to me.

my old tharpist told me to break through these propblems by just acting the way i usally do. instead of listenning to her, what i have done is make an idea that it is better not to be in a relationship as it restricts my freedom.

now all my friend are married with children and i feel envious of them.

GreenTeaDisease

I haven't been ordered, but I need more friends in boston. I only have like 2 friends I can actually hang out with here, and one of them has a boyfriend and the other one is dating someone and works all the time (and I don't have much in common with them). I have not a clue how one makes friends...I've tried all the usual classes/clubs/activities/friends of friends, etc, but I've never met anyone who actually translated into a hanging out buddy. All my friends are from college and grad school and scattered around the country. There are times when I just want to hang out and grab a drink or something but I have no one to call.

I mean how do you go from meeting someone at a party or where ever to actually feeling comfortable enough to hang out with them again? Plus as I get older, most of the people I meet seem to be married, and I don't really get how married people operate socially. I think making friends is even harder than dating. I don't understand how people meet people to date either, but at least there's match.com.

LONGRD

hey GTD, I live in MA but way far from Beantown. I did lived in Revere during 3rd grade.
i've lived in 6 different cities, 4 different states & 2 counties & i think it might be a reason why my social personality isnt good.
it's hard for me to open to people, especially new people.

Heineken Helen

Urban Hiker wrote:

Ugh! I am not good at small talk. In my current position I have 1.5hr long appointments with (mostly) strangers. There are long stretches of quiet time during these appointments where we are just waiting for other folks to come back with decisions. Sometimes it's so quiet I have to excuse myself. I usually say I'm going to check on something for them or some BS like that. But really, I'm just escaping the silence. :eek:

I do have to laugh thinking you had a hard time coming up with something to say. It seems so unlike the impression I get from you here. He must be really cute.

he wasn't gorgeous, but quite cute... but sometimes my mind just goes blank... and then when you struggle to think of something to say, all you think about is the struggle rather than actual words and it just makes it worse.

Heineken Helen

LongRd. wrote:

i dont hate my "close"friends but goddamn we are lame. all we do is play video games,poker,get drunk & shit like that.
this summer i made some new friends who are more into productive stuff but all they do is go to the gym & dance clubs.
i dont think i've ever had any friends that are relative to my interest.that kind of friendship is hard to find.

not in PJ land they're not. I never really had people who 'got me' til I started meeting people off this board. Well I always had friends but these ones are just different... I finally feel like I belong

Heineken Helen

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I mean how do you go from meeting someone at a party or where ever to actually feeling comfortable enough to hang out with them again? Plus as I get older, most of the people I meet seem to be married, and I don't really get how married people operate socially. I think making friends is even harder than dating. I don't understand how people meet people to date either, but at least there's match.com.

I always think that friendships ARE relationships without the sex. I mean think about it! You have to find somebody... exchange numbers... bother to meet them again... hope they want to meet you again after that time... and take it from there... sometimes they even have to be maintained like relationships... falling outs can occur and either they're fixed or you go your separate ways.

genie

Urban Hiker wrote:

So, I started seeing a therapist and today she ordered me to make friends and/or join some sort of group or class or something.

I find this hilarious because just before I left to see her I received my latest book:

Party of One, The Loners' Manifesto - by Anneli Rufus

I'm still excited about my book.


I think to meet my therapist's orders, I'm going to start going to park work parties.


Oh, and if there is another Pearl Jam meet-up in the Seattle area, will somebody please come drag me out of my apartment and force me to go? I have been within feet of a Pearl Jam meet-up and have never had the guts to introduce myself to anybody.

I'm so lame.

a while ago i had a fortune cookie given to me and my work colleague. my work colleague read out her's which was "you will become a great manager" or something along those lines.
i didn't want to read out mine, cause it hit home completely for me it said "you will only make friends, when you want them" or something very similar to this. i was fucking shocked, how the fuck did this cookie knew my problem??

hehe, anyway my point is you should find friends for yourself, not because of recommendation from your therapist. the real reason why you don't want to go to meet ups is because you didn't hit the rock bottom ( as they say ) .
don't worry this day will come.

oh and another advice, to hell with work colleagues......erm....i mean if you get on with them then fine go out, but if they are indifferent to you then don't go to all their bullshit "work parties"

genie

smarchee wrote:

When I get freaked out about going into a place with people in it, whether strangers or few people I know, I listen to Walk Unafraid by REM.

Seriously, it has worked for me.

haha, as for music you should listen to Pantera "Cowboys from hell" and imagine yourself to be that cowboy

http://youtube.com/watch?v=FV2xVvJddxY

btw, Pantera is a great metal band!! i love to listen to their heavy music especially after listening to a lot of Pearl Jam and soft rock bands

catefrances

gue_barium wrote:

I'll meet you. I'm a misanthrope, too.

hmm... are you really? i know someone like that.

Heineken Helen

Ah dear, I just went out for a cigarette and was about half way through when he came out again well I wasn't gonna make a fool of meself twice in two days so I pretended I was finished and just came back in :eek:

Dru_Cortez

In my experience,
most people love to talk
about themselves.
Keep the direction of the conversation
pointed his way,
you can just stand quietly + nod.

Cheers.

PJ_Soul

If you're ever up in Vancouver, I'll be your friend. We can go out for drinks, catch some live music, it'll be fun.

polaris_x

can someone fill me in on the purpose of bumping 6 year old threads?

hedonist

Was just thinking this as I scrolled through, polaris - especially with the bumper post. Perhaps intentional?

Dunno. This place feels odd today (though could just be me)

PJ_Soul

Oh. :-L I didn't notice that, lol. It's a weird message to bump with too. Kind of Grinchy, lol. I wonder if the OP ever made any friends??