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I've been ordered to make friends

Urban HikerUrban Hiker Posts: 1,312
edited November 2007 in All Encompassing Trip
So, I started seeing a therapist and today she ordered me to make friends and/or join some sort of group or class or something.

I find this hilarious because just before I left to see her I received my latest book:

Party of One, The Loners' Manifesto - by Anneli Rufus

I'm still excited about my book. :p


I think to meet my therapist's orders, I'm going to start going to park work parties.


Oh, and if there is another Pearl Jam meet-up in the Seattle area, will somebody please come drag me out of my apartment and force me to go? I have been within feet of a Pearl Jam meet-up and have never had the guts to introduce myself to anybody.

I'm so lame. :o
Walking can be a real trip
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    ah, I remember when that happened to Rory Gilmore.
  • Urban HikerUrban Hiker Posts: 1,312
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    ah, I remember when that happened to Rory Gilmore.


    Shit, are you serious? Does my therapist use tv shows as a reference on how to help people? I'm screwed. :D
    Walking can be a real trip
    ***********************
    "We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
    ***********************
    Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
  • smarcheesmarchee Posts: 14,539
    When I get freaked out about going into a place with people in it, whether strangers or few people I know, I listen to Walk Unafraid by REM.

    Seriously, it has worked for me.
    1998 ~ Barrie
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  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    I can be your friend. :)

    that should not read as creepy - seriously, read it again


    see?? nice, not creepy. :o

    just curious tho, are you in a new area?? is that why you dont have any tangible friends in the area??
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • rvprvp Posts: 779
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    ah, I remember when that happened to Rory Gilmore.
    LOL congrats!! haha!!

    Urban Hiker good luck making friends, no person should lack friends!
    .
    fuera de este mundo
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    Urban Hiker wrote:
    So, I started seeing a therapist and today she ordered me to make friends and/or join some sort of group or class or something.

    I find this hilarious because just before I left to see her I received my latest book:

    Party of One, The Loners' Manifesto - by Anneli Rufus

    I'm still excited about my book. :p


    I think to meet my therapist's orders, I'm going to start going to park work parties.


    Oh, and if there is another Pearl Jam meet-up in the Seattle area, will somebody please come drag me out of my apartment and force me to go? I have been within feet of a Pearl Jam meet-up and have never had the guts to introduce myself to anybody.

    I'm so lame. :o

    Ahhh. It's nice to know there are other people on the board like me! :)
  • rival.rival. Posts: 7,775
    friends are a good thing.

    go out there and get some!
  • daystar143daystar143 Posts: 367
    singularity wrote:
    friends are a good thing.

    go out there and get some!


    Gotta throw in one of my favorite Christmas movie lines, "No man is every poor who has friends."

    As outgoing as I can be, I can also have an attack of the shys...especially when I'm really afraid of making a bad impression or that I won't be "good enough" for a group. If I make myself go, I usually always find that there are lots of wonderful people that I would have missed an opportunity to meet if I stayed at home.

    You'll do great and we'll be here to back you up!
    The Daystar

    "But --you say that Dreams have no power here? Tell me, Lucifer Morningstar...Ask yourselves, all of you...What power would hell have if those here imprisoned were not able to Dream of Heaven?" Dream speaking to Lucifer as written by Neil Gaiman.
  • josevolutionjosevolution Posts: 29,187
    i had a bunch of friends i grew up with but no more. so now i've made a few friends thru this board that i actually have met and i consider them to be friends ....
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
  • Urban HikerUrban Hiker Posts: 1,312
    failedpersephone wrote:
    I can be your friend. :)

    that should not read as creepy - seriously, read it again


    see?? nice, not creepy. :o

    just curious tho, are you in a new area?? is that why you dont have any tangible friends in the area??


    Awe, thanks.

    I've lived in the area most of my life. Unfortunately, the few friends I had (14 years ago) in high school have moved away. And honestly, I've always been very comfortable going to things by myself - so I never bothered with making new friends.

    Getting butterflies in social situations certainly doesn't help. :o:p
    Walking can be a real trip
    ***********************
    "We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
    ***********************
    Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
  • jojojojo Posts: 645
    been there
    sometimes it comes and goes
    the internet only makes it worse i think

    (with my 4,000 somthing posts :rolleyes: )
    Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible.
  • Urban HikerUrban Hiker Posts: 1,312
    daystar143 wrote:
    Gotta throw in one of my favorite Christmas movie lines, "No man is every poor who has friends."

    As outgoing as I can be, I can also have an attack of the shys...especially when I'm really afraid of making a bad impression or that I won't be "good enough" for a group. If I make myself go, I usually always find that there are lots of wonderful people that I would have missed an opportunity to meet if I stayed at home.

    You'll do great and we'll be here to back you up!

    Thanks for the encouragement. I was SO close to asking if this board counted. :D
    Seriously, I have a great time on here. But, yeah, I think she's pushing towards actual human contact.
    Walking can be a real trip
    ***********************
    "We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
    ***********************
    Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
  • edvedder913edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    Urban Hiker wrote:
    Thanks for the encouragement. I was SO close to asking if this board counted. :D
    Seriously, I have a great time on here. But, yeah, I think she's pushing towards actual human contact.


    ha ha. you should arrange a meet up in your town. i have met a bunch of people from this board in the NY metro area and some of them have become really good friends. it is great to have the common pearl jam bond. it's like insta-friendship :) good luck!
  • sj.brodiesj.brodie Posts: 468
    I'm the same. Most people don't understand it. I even avoid answering the phone at all costs. Worst social occasions for me include public transport (asking for a ticket) and flirting (best not even bother) I'm not a nasty person or anything i just find it difficult to relate and talk to others. I live with it every day. That was quite a bold confession.
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    sj.brodie wrote:
    I'm the same. Most people don't understand it. I even avoid answering the phone at all costs. Worst social occasions for me include public transport (asking for a ticket) and flirting (best not even bother) I'm not a nasty person or anything i just find it difficult to relate and talk to others. I live with it every day. That was quite a bold confession.

    It is and I'm the same! :o
  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    Sounds like y'all need to start a fight club!
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  • Urban HikerUrban Hiker Posts: 1,312
    smarchee wrote:
    When I get freaked out about going into a place with people in it, whether strangers or few people I know, I listen to Walk Unafraid by REM.

    Seriously, it has worked for me.


    Thanks for the tip. I'll get that song added to my itunes.
    Walking can be a real trip
    ***********************
    "We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
    ***********************
    Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
  • Urban HikerUrban Hiker Posts: 1,312
    sj.brodie wrote:
    I'm the same. Most people don't understand it. I even avoid answering the phone at all costs. Worst social occasions for me include public transport (asking for a ticket) and flirting (best not even bother) I'm not a nasty person or anything i just find it difficult to relate and talk to others. I live with it every day. That was quite a bold confession.

    MattCameronKicksButt wrote:
    Ahhh. It's nice to know there are other people on the board like me! :)


    Most people really don't understand, thanks for letting me know I'm not alone.

    I've often had people think that I'm a snob, just because I keep to myself and can be very quiet.

    And phones, OMG! My first job working with the public, not only did I have to answer phones, but I also had to use the whole store PA system for paging and announcements. The entire 20 minute walk to work was filled with trying to pump myself up to be able to do it.

    Sometimes I'm able to whip out my inner extrovert. I have a lot of fun chatting up folks on the street or in grocery store lines, anything where I know the contact isn't going to last very long.
    Walking can be a real trip
    ***********************
    "We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
    ***********************
    Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    if my therapist suggested i go out and meet people, id be dropping that therapist. not that i'd go to a therapist in the first place cause they's people and i don't like people. :)
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  • jamainiacjamainiac Posts: 429
    okay ...

    sign me up!

    we already have at least three things in common...

    we live in Seattle...

    we are Pearl Jam fans...

    the whole 'short term relationships in grocery lines' is where I shine socially as well :D

    trivia every wednesday @ Fado... and I'm sure you'd be welcome to join us at a 'housewarming' in West Seattle on Friday :)
    Exercising her will to lose control...
    she lets go
  • covered in blisscovered in bliss Posts: 1,332
    Do what your therapist tells you, no matter how painful it is.

    In most cases, they are the professional and they truly -know- more than you do. If they ask you to go outside of your comfort zone, DO IT.

    No, this place doesn't count!

    Besides... cyber-hugs aren't as good as the real thing. :)
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    Urban Hiker wrote:
    Oh, and if there is another Pearl Jam meet-up in the Seattle area, will somebody please come drag me out of my apartment and force me to go? I have been within feet of a Pearl Jam meet-up and have never had the guts to introduce myself to anybody.

    I'm so lame. :o


    no your not... (most) PJ fans are a friendly bunch... definitely go to one of these meet-ups!! try and organise it so you can meet-up with someone else who is on their own and you can be each others support.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    dunkman wrote:
    no your not... (most) PJ fans are a friendly bunch... definitely go to one of these meet-ups!! try and organise it so you can meet-up with someone else who is on their own and you can be each others support.

    F***ing hell! I know you're pretty cool but I didn't expect you to write that.

    (Nice signature, btw).
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    Urban Hiker wrote:
    Oh, and if there is another Pearl Jam meet-up in the Seattle area, will somebody please come drag me out of my apartment and force me to go? I have been within feet of a Pearl Jam meet-up and have never had the guts to introduce myself to anybody.

    I'm so lame. :o


    no your not... (most) PJ fans are a friendly bunch... definitely go to one of these meet-ups!! try and organise it so you can meet-up with someone else who is on their own and you can be each others support.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    In all seriousness, I've been back and forth to the doctor for depression, anxiety and panic attacks since I was eighteen. The first time the doctor told me to just go out and meet people. I thought, 'thanks for that... that's no help at all'! :D
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    MattCameronKicksButt wrote:
    F***ing hell! I know you're pretty cool but I didn't expect you to write that.

    (Nice signature, btw).


    i wrote it twice :confused:

    weird double post thingy :D
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    dunkman wrote:
    i wrote it twice :confused:

    weird double post thingy :D

    Are you feeling okay? Stress of work getting to you? Hmmm? :D;)
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    daystar143 wrote:
    Gotta throw in one of my favorite Christmas movie lines, "No man is every poor who has friends."
    that HAS to be it's a wonderful life? :o I love that film!

    People I've met here will probably refuse to believe this... BUT I've been there too. I've felt antisocial and there have been occasions where I've not known what to say to people or not really been bothered. Some people actually probably consider me quiet if they've met me under these circumstances.

    I think, like everything else though, it's important to find a balance. I'm comfortable with my own company most of the time but sometimes I just crave human contact and if you shut others out when you want to be alone... you won't have anybody when you need them. I'm not sure if I'm making sense or not though :o

    So just get out there. What's stopping ya? Fear can be a good thing (it can keep us alive in some situations) but not when it takes over your life. You need to do what's right for you... and start by meeting some of your board friends in real life. See... automatic friends! It really doesn't get much easier than that.
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  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    Urban Hiker wrote:
    Most people really don't understand, thanks for letting me know I'm not alone.

    I've often had people think that I'm a snob, just because I keep to myself and can be very quiet.

    And phones, OMG! My first job working with the public, not only did I have to answer phones, but I also had to use the whole store PA system for paging and announcements. The entire 20 minute walk to work was filled with trying to pump myself up to be able to do it.

    Sometimes I'm able to whip out my inner extrovert. I have a lot of fun chatting up folks on the street or in grocery store lines, anything where I know the contact isn't going to last very long.
    The best thing I EVER did was work in a pub :o . Before that I used to be pretty shy and not a good conversationalist at all... since then I haven't shut up :D . It was my cousin got the job for me and it scared the shit out of me :eek: but within the first shift I felt right at home. It was a small local pub where everyone knows you're new so they want to get to know you and get on the right side of you... it's the perfect job for shy people who want to get out more.
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • urbanhippieurbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    I'm a shy person, who struggles with social situations too.

    That said, I've met a few people from here and they've been fantastic. It's like an instant bond and you already know that you have things in common. There's always something to talk about. :)

    I hope to meet many more and continue to expand my circle of friends..:)
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