I've been ordered to make friends

covered in bliss

Do what your therapist tells you, no matter how painful it is.

In most cases, they are the professional and they truly -know- more than you do. If they ask you to go outside of your comfort zone, DO IT.

No, this place doesn't count!

Besides... cyber-hugs aren't as good as the real thing.

dunkman

Urban Hiker wrote:

Oh, and if there is another Pearl Jam meet-up in the Seattle area, will somebody please come drag me out of my apartment and force me to go? I have been within feet of a Pearl Jam meet-up and have never had the guts to introduce myself to anybody.

I'm so lame.

no your not... (most) PJ fans are a friendly bunch... definitely go to one of these meet-ups!! try and organise it so you can meet-up with someone else who is on their own and you can be each others support.

MattCameronKicksButt

dunkman wrote:

no your not... (most) PJ fans are a friendly bunch... definitely go to one of these meet-ups!! try and organise it so you can meet-up with someone else who is on their own and you can be each others support.

F***ing hell! I know you're pretty cool but I didn't expect you to write that.

(Nice signature, btw).

dunkman

Urban Hiker wrote:

Oh, and if there is another Pearl Jam meet-up in the Seattle area, will somebody please come drag me out of my apartment and force me to go? I have been within feet of a Pearl Jam meet-up and have never had the guts to introduce myself to anybody.

I'm so lame.

no your not... (most) PJ fans are a friendly bunch... definitely go to one of these meet-ups!! try and organise it so you can meet-up with someone else who is on their own and you can be each others support.

MattCameronKicksButt

In all seriousness, I've been back and forth to the doctor for depression, anxiety and panic attacks since I was eighteen. The first time the doctor told me to just go out and meet people. I thought, 'thanks for that... that's no help at all'!

dunkman

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

F***ing hell! I know you're pretty cool but I didn't expect you to write that.

(Nice signature, btw).

i wrote it twice

weird double post thingy

MattCameronKicksButt

dunkman wrote:

i wrote it twice

weird double post thingy

Are you feeling okay? Stress of work getting to you? Hmmm?

Heineken Helen

daystar143 wrote:

Gotta throw in one of my favorite Christmas movie lines, "No man is every poor who has friends."

that HAS to be it's a wonderful life? I love that film!

People I've met here will probably refuse to believe this... BUT I've been there too. I've felt antisocial and there have been occasions where I've not known what to say to people or not really been bothered. Some people actually probably consider me quiet if they've met me under these circumstances.

I think, like everything else though, it's important to find a balance. I'm comfortable with my own company most of the time but sometimes I just crave human contact and if you shut others out when you want to be alone... you won't have anybody when you need them. I'm not sure if I'm making sense or not though

So just get out there. What's stopping ya? Fear can be a good thing (it can keep us alive in some situations) but not when it takes over your life. You need to do what's right for you... and start by meeting some of your board friends in real life. See... automatic friends! It really doesn't get much easier than that.

Heineken Helen

Urban Hiker wrote:

Most people really don't understand, thanks for letting me know I'm not alone.

I've often had people think that I'm a snob, just because I keep to myself and can be very quiet.

And phones, OMG! My first job working with the public, not only did I have to answer phones, but I also had to use the whole store PA system for paging and announcements. The entire 20 minute walk to work was filled with trying to pump myself up to be able to do it.

Sometimes I'm able to whip out my inner extrovert. I have a lot of fun chatting up folks on the street or in grocery store lines, anything where I know the contact isn't going to last very long.

The best thing I EVER did was work in a pub . Before that I used to be pretty shy and not a good conversationalist at all... since then I haven't shut up . It was my cousin got the job for me and it scared the shit out of me :eek: but within the first shift I felt right at home. It was a small local pub where everyone knows you're new so they want to get to know you and get on the right side of you... it's the perfect job for shy people who want to get out more.

urbanhippie

I'm a shy person, who struggles with social situations too.

That said, I've met a few people from here and they've been fantastic. It's like an instant bond and you already know that you have things in common. There's always something to talk about.

I hope to meet many more and continue to expand my circle of friends..:)

Heineken Helen

jamainiac wrote:

okay ...

sign me up!

we already have at least three things in common...

we live in Seattle...

we are Pearl Jam fans...

the whole 'short term relationships in grocery lines' is where I shine socially as well

trivia every wednesday @ Fado... and I'm sure you'd be welcome to join us at a 'housewarming' in West Seattle on Friday

why don't you two arrange to meet in a grocery store first and see how that goes?

gue_barium

Urban Hiker wrote:

So, I started seeing a therapist and today she ordered me to make friends and/or join some sort of group or class or something.

I find this hilarious because just before I left to see her I received my latest book:

Party of One, The Loners' Manifesto - by Anneli Rufus

I'm still excited about my book.


I think to meet my therapist's orders, I'm going to start going to park work parties.


Oh, and if there is another Pearl Jam meet-up in the Seattle area, will somebody please come drag me out of my apartment and force me to go? I have been within feet of a Pearl Jam meet-up and have never had the guts to introduce myself to anybody.

I'm so lame.

I'll meet you. I'm a misanthrope, too.

sennin

Where in Seattle do you live? Downtown?

I'm a snob who keeps to myself.

I'm quiet and shy. If Jamainiac wasn't my girlfriend, I'm sure I'd go days without talking.

I'm sure we can have lots of uncomfortable silences!



Kidding....mostly....



You should try Fado (Irish Pub) on Wednesday nights (6:30pm'ish). 7 times out of 10 there's someone from the Message Pit there. Just look for the Alkiholics. (As in Alki Beach.....we're not a bunch of alcoholics.)

Urban Hiker

jamainiac wrote:

okay ...

sign me up!

we already have at least three things in common...

we live in Seattle...

we are Pearl Jam fans...

the whole 'short term relationships in grocery lines' is where I shine socially as well

trivia every wednesday @ Fado... and I'm sure you'd be welcome to join us at a 'housewarming' in West Seattle on Friday

sennin wrote:

Where in Seattle do you live? Downtown?

I'm a snob who keeps to myself.

I'm quiet and shy. If Jamainiac wasn't my girlfriend, I'm sure I'd go days without talking.

I'm sure we can have lots of uncomfortable silences!

Kidding....mostly....



You should try Fado (Irish Pub) on Wednesday nights (6:30pm'ish). 7 times out of 10 there's someone from the Message Pit there. Just look for the Alkiholics. (As in Alki Beach.....we're not a bunch of alcoholics.)

Fado’s is less than a mile (DOWNHILL) from my apartment. I usually try to get drunk UPHILL from my apartment, so the walk home is easier, but...
I will definitely give Fado’s a try. Thanks! <Insert great big smile HERE>

Heineken Helen wrote:

why don't you two arrange to meet in a grocery store first and see how that goes?

Helen has a point here. Jams, Sennin – Where do you shop. Whole Foods anyone?

Everybody, thank you all so much for your kind, supportive words. You all are AWESOME!



BTW - I had to edit out emoticons, 'cause of the stupid board limits. Helen, both of yours went, because your humor translates well even without them. <Add another smile here>

Heineken Helen

Urban Hiker wrote:

Fado’s is less than a mile (DOWNHILL) from my apartment. I usually try to get drunk UPHILL from my apartment, so the walk home is easier, but...
I will definitely give Fado’s a try. Thanks! <Insert great big smile HERE>



Helen has a point here. Jams, Sennin – Where do you shop. Whole Foods anyone?

Everybody, thank you all so much for your kind, supportive words. You all are AWESOME!



BTW - I had to edit out emoticons, 'cause of the stupid board limits. Helen, both of yours went, because your humor translates well even without them. <Add another smile here>

thank you... I thought of you earlier when I was out having a cigarette and this cute guy came over smoking too. My mind went blank and we both kinda stood there looking at the ground. Talking about how cold it is only lasts a few seconds and then you're like 'hmmmmm.... hmmmmmm...hmmmmm' and I was kinda mumbling some shit til he finished the cigarette and said 'see ya around sometime' (part of the mumbling was that we're finished on this job next week) :eek:

decides2dream

Urban Hiker wrote:

Fado’s is less than a mile (DOWNHILL) from my apartment. I usually try to get drunk UPHILL from my apartment, so the walk home is easier, but...
I will definitely give Fado’s a try. Thanks! <Insert great big smile HERE>

urban...here is your assignment: fado's wednesday nights, 6:30 pm. give it a go! you will have a BLAST with jams and sennin....and perhaps make future plans, more friends...and then who knew? whole flock of people to hang with, and perhaps a choice few new, close friends. :cool:


and do remember, NY awaits too.

Urban Hiker

Heineken Helen wrote:

thank you... I thought of you earlier when I was out having a cigarette and this cute guy came over smoking too. My mind went blank and we both kinda stood there looking at the ground. Talking about how cold it is only lasts a few seconds and then you're like 'hmmmmm.... hmmmmmm...hmmmmm' and I was kinda mumbling some shit til he finished the cigarette and said 'see ya around sometime' (part of the mumbling was that we're finished on this job next week) :eek:

Ugh! I am not good at small talk. In my current position I have 1.5hr long appointments with (mostly) strangers. There are long stretches of quiet time during these appointments where we are just waiting for other folks to come back with decisions. Sometimes it's so quiet I have to excuse myself. I usually say I'm going to check on something for them or some BS like that. But really, I'm just escaping the silence. :eek:

I do have to laugh thinking you had a hard time coming up with something to say. It seems so unlike the impression I get from you here. He must be really cute.

Urban Hiker

decides2dream wrote:

urban...here is your assignment: fado's wednesday nights, 6:30 pm. give it a go! you will have a BLAST with jams and sennin....and perhaps make future plans, more friends...and then who knew? whole flock of people to hang with, and perhaps a choice few new, close friends. :cool:


and do remember, NY awaits too.

*imagines world with future plans and flocks of people*

*feels faint*

*starts to hyperventilate*

Just Kidding.

I like beer and I like Pearl Jam fans, so Fado's seems like a good fit.

I think dreams is in cahoots with my therapist.

pearljamjen

sennin wrote:

You should try Fado (Irish Pub) on Wednesday nights (6:30pm'ish). 7 times out of 10 there's someone from the Message Pit there. Just look for the Alkiholics. (As in Alki Beach.....we're not a bunch of alcoholics.)

Oh I know that place! I used to love to go there when I lived in Seattle! I didn't know it was a pit hangout! Next time I go back I'll have to stop by!

sennin

Urban Hiker wrote:

Fado’s is less than a mile (DOWNHILL) from my apartment. I usually try to get drunk UPHILL from my apartment, so the walk home is easier, but...
I will definitely give Fado’s a try. Thanks! <Insert great big smile HERE>


Helen has a point here. Jams, Sennin – Where do you shop. Whole Foods anyone?

I have to get up at 5:45 most mornings....so getting drunk at Fado on a Wednesday night is rare. Only when we get visitors from afar does that happen.

Sometimes Whole Foods, sometimes at the new QFC near the Needle. We went to the Met Market the other day....it's ok. Mostly QFC and Pike Place though. We're down on Elliott, so Pike Place is only a couple blocks away. But I don't talk to people in lines, that's Jams.

I stand there silent most times, trying to avoid eye contact. I really like grocery shopping though.