Whats wrong whit ex-boyfriends??

esther1977
esther1977 Posts: 540
edited October 2007 in All Encompassing Trip
I really really really hate mine at the moment. Finally after almost 2 years after my break up i find a new b-friend and things going nice and smooth, well so far we're been dating for 2 weeks. My stupid ex got the guts to tell me that he still loves me and wants me back. Now my new -b-friend dumped me cause he got in the way!! Hope it makes any sense im really pissed
When all your dreams turn to dust, vacuum
When all else fails, read the instruction
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • yosi1
    yosi1 Posts: 3,272
    I'm really sorry to hear that. That's totally lame of your ex. Hopefully you and your new boyfriend can work things out (if that's what you're looking for).
    you couldn't swing if you were hangin' from a palm tree in a hurricane.
  • nothingman44
    nothingman44 Posts: 1,496
    haha!

    i'm not laughing at you directly, but rather at the situation. he must have a serious set of berries between his legs to do something like that. i'm recently dumped, as i'm sure you all know, and am a bit jaded right now when it comes to women.

    but me...i would NEVER go crawling back to my girlfriend especially after 2 years. if anything, she is the one that is going to have to come back to me. and if ijust happen to be with another girl at the time, i'd tell her to get lost.
  • Marbles
    Marbles Posts: 49
    Typical. It's the "If I can't have you, no one should have you!" that leads to stalking!
  • dontloseyourheat
    dontloseyourheat Posts: 483
    The guy obviously still has feelings for you and he saw this as the last opportunity to rekindle what he lost. The guy could have gone through life thinking "what if" but instead he took a gamble and lost. From his point of view, it took balls and is admirable as he worked up the courage to put himself out on a limb.

    And if the other guy broke up with you because you started talking to an ex, than the new guy probably wasn't too interested.
    "Don't lose your inner heat...ever" - EV 5/13/06
  • Earthgirl
    Earthgirl Posts: 695
    I've got that exact same problem right now.... there's a reason they are ex boyfriends... and Im not going there again. NO WAY.

    Mine calls me at least 2x a week to tell me he cares still.. and I keep telling him that I dont feel the same, that altho I like him as friend, that's as far as the caring goes. good luck with your ex..
  • nothingman44
    nothingman44 Posts: 1,496
    Earthgirl wrote:
    I've got that exact same problem right now.... there's a reason they are ex boyfriends... and Im not going there again. NO WAY.

    Mine calls me at least 2x a week to tell me he cares still.. and I keep telling him that I dont feel the same, that altho I like him as friend, that's as far as the caring goes. good luck with your ex..


    after sharing feelings, and sometimes intimate moments,that are more than a "freindly" level, it is tough for guys to accept the "i like you as a friend" line.
  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    esther1977 wrote:
    I really really really hate mine at the moment. Finally after almost 2 years after my break up i find a new b-friend and things going nice and smooth, well so far we're been dating for 2 weeks. My stupid ex got the guts to tell me that he still loves me and wants me back. Now my new -b-friend dumped me cause he got in the way!! Hope it makes any sense im really pissed

    don't whine about your ex, whine about your current bf. the fact that an ex resurfaced should have no bearing on your relationship. it sounds to me like he was looking for an excuse to leave you anyway. unless you told him you still have feelings for the ex.
  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    Earthgirl wrote:
    I've got that exact same problem right now.... there's a reason they are ex boyfriends... and Im not going there again. NO WAY.

    Mine calls me at least 2x a week to tell me he cares still.. and I keep telling him that I dont feel the same, that altho I like him as friend, that's as far as the caring goes. good luck with your ex..

    maybe you should stop leading him on by answering the phone and telling him you still want to have him in your life as a friend. guys cannot be just friends with exes... period. that's the way it goes. i know it's really easy for you women to just turn off your feelings for a guy on a dime, but we don't. any contact you have with him he is hoping he will say something to bring you back. he will never be your friend.
  • sponger
    sponger Posts: 3,159
    yeppers...if ur ex is still talking to you it's because he wants right back into where he used to be. I do not carry on any real meaningful friendships with my ex's. I do have very lasting friendships with chicks I used to bang, but they were never actual "g/f's".
    reigning champion

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
  • SPEEDY MCCREADY
    SPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 26,946
    nothingman44 wrote:
    after sharing feelings, and sometimes intimate moments,that are more than a "freindly" level, it is tough for guys to accept the "i like you as a friend" line.
    "can we still be friends????"

    what that line means is......

    "i will no longer be fucking you....Now i may be fucking some of your friends.....hell i may be fucking ALL of your friends....I may even be banging you brother.....and if i get get drunk enough i may even sleep with your sister.......

    but i will no longer be fucking you"

    and thats all that bullshit line means................
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • nothingman44
    nothingman44 Posts: 1,496
    SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:
    "can we still be friends????"

    what that line means is......

    "i will no longer be fucking you....Now i may be fucking some of your friends.....hell i may be fucking ALL of your friends....I may even be banging you brother.....and if i get get drunk enough i may even sleep with your sister.......

    but i will no longer be fucking you"

    and thats all that bullshit line means................

    in a nutshell...i think you have finally deciphered the true meaning of those words. but i think you can add in..."i still want to be friends with you so that i can continue to hurt you whilst fucking your friends..."
  • SPEEDY MCCREADY
    SPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 26,946
    nothingman44 wrote:
    in a nutshell...i think you have finally deciphered the true meaning of those words. but i think you can add in..."i still want to be friends with you so that i can continue to hurt you whilst fucking your friends..."

    actually...

    IT IS "YOU" WHO HAS FINALLY DECIPHERED THESE WORDS..........

    i havent had a girl tell me that horseshit fucking line in over 20 years...

    thank fucking god.....
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • nothingman44
    nothingman44 Posts: 1,496
    SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:
    actually...

    IT IS "YOU" WHO HAS FINALLY DECIPHERED THESE WORDS..........

    i havent had a girl tell me that horseshit fucking line in over 20 years...

    thank fucking god.....

    ha ha 20 years from now, i hope i can say the same.

    but we can both take credit for cracking the code!
  • SPEEDY MCCREADY
    SPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 26,946
    nothingman44 wrote:
    ha ha 20 years from now, i hope i can say the same.

    but we can both take credit for cracking the code!
    i hope you never have to hear that absolute piece of shit bullshit line from a lady again....

    but if you do....

    when she says......"can we still be friends???"

    look her right in the eye and say...."SURE!!! but can i still keep fucking your sister????"
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    nothingman44 wrote:
    in a nutshell...i think you have finally deciphered the true meaning of those words. but i think you can add in..."i still want to be friends with you so that i can continue to hurt you whilst fucking your friends..."

    it's more insidious than that. the intention is not sadistic, it's selfish. the goal is not to hurt you, the goal is to keep you hanging around and lined up for a fallback if all of her friends end up married and she can't land another, better guy than you, in which case she will ask you to take her back. she will do this regardless of the damage it does to you. you're plan b, the backup, just in case. THAT is why she wants to stay friends, not becos she values you or feels she would miss you if you weren't.
  • disconnected
    disconnected Posts: 2,875
    I'm sorry to hear that. What a sick dude....
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    soulsinging wrote:
    maybe you should stop leading him on by answering the phone and telling him you still want to have him in your life as a friend. guys cannot be just friends with exes... period. that's the way it goes. i know it's really easy for you women to just turn off your feelings for a guy on a dime, but we don't. any contact you have with him he is hoping he will say something to bring you back. he will never be your friend.

    haha, same old, same old, i think i've heard this advice before. but i'm definitely not arguing with you dear. in this situation i think you're right. :)

    i don't know what happened between Earthgirl and one of her exes, but i think she also cares for him, it's just she doesn't think they are compatible together. If it's a violent, or destructive, or spark has has gone relationship then it's better to end it, but it doesn't mean she doesn't like him.
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    esther1977 wrote:
    I really really really hate mine at the moment. Finally after almost 2 years after my break up i find a new b-friend and things going nice and smooth, well so far we're been dating for 2 weeks. My stupid ex got the guts to tell me that he still loves me and wants me back. Now my new -b-friend dumped me cause he got in the way!! Hope it makes any sense im really pissed

    oh, maaan just read few other replies on your thread, i hope you don't take any notice of those guys. ( between me and you they're just sad )

    what i don't understand is this: how can your ex-boyfriend ruin your relationship with the new guy?? if you started noticing that he was butting in then why didn't you change your mob. number?? or have you changed your mob. number and he was stalking you?

    basically what did your ex do? did he call you or stalk you?
  • esther1977
    esther1977 Posts: 540
    genie wrote:
    oh, maaan just read few other replies on your thread, i hope you don't take any notice of those guys. ( between me and you they're just sad )

    what i don't understand is this: how can your ex-boyfriend ruin your relationship with the new guy?? if you started noticing that he was butting in then why didn't you change your mob. number?? or have you changed your mob. number and he was stalking you?

    basically what did your ex do? did he call you or stalk you?


    No it was my b-day party( well what a party) and we where at a pub, he was there, and just out of the blue he told me this. I walked away but then i text me . My new (well now old) did see this. In the morning when i was drinking my coffee (big hangover) ask me what he told me, but i didn't even had to tel him he figured it al out.
    When all your dreams turn to dust, vacuum
    When all else fails, read the instruction
  • wavescamecrashing
    wavescamecrashing Posts: 440
    cut your ex off point blank. then call the other guy and tell him you want to go out to dinner to clear things up. if he doesnt give you a chance to do that, move on and find another guy and dont tell your ex. if he finds out from other people and tries to cause a stink, treat it with the contempt he deserves. he was with you and had his chance (s) and if he truly had feelings for you, he would let you go.

    and im with the guys on the ex thing. why do i want to talk to you when all it will cause is misery and inferiority complexes?

    the one ex i stayed friends with is a great guy and we are waay better friends than lovers in the first place and the break up really was mutual coz we didnt want to stay in a relationship when we went to university.

    Though I'll admit it still felt awkward when i told him bout me and the bf planning to move in together...and we left a massive gap of no contact after we broke up. So there are ups and downs to it.

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