2nd date advice needed..

GreenTeaDisease

DaytimeDilemma wrote:

If the date doesn't like music...that SUX.


And, IMO, there's no better date than pre-gaming for a concert...going to said concert...and then drinking more afterwards followed by some late night eats.


Oh man.

I wish I ever had a date with someone who liked music...

"pre-gaming"? Maybe I've never had a date like that because I tend not to date 18 year old frat boys.

DaytimeDilemma

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I wish I ever had a date with someone who liked music...

"pre-gaming"? Maybe I've never had a date like that because I tend not to date 18 year old frat boys.

I call it pre-gaming out of habit.


I mean getting a few drinks pre-show.

Motown322

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

um, yes. first of all, why should the *guy* get to plan the whole date? see that right there is annoying. if they plan it all out in advance then they DON'T care what YOU want to do. Plus it's just very old fashioned for the guy to be in charge of the date. I've had 4 hour dates, but not like that.

Did he ask her out? If he did, then the burden is on him to get shit planned, especially if she didn't offer up any suggestions (which I doubt because the OP wouldn't be here if she did). Whoever asks should have a plan in mind.

You honestly mean to tell me that if a guy said to you, "Hey, do you want to go to dinner Friday night?" and then gets to your house, picks you up and when you ask where you're going, he says, "Oh... I don't really know. What do you want to do?" you wouldn't think twice? I'd think the guy was a fuckin' flake.

GreenTeaDisease

Motown322 wrote:

Did he ask her out? If he did, then the burden is on him to get shit planned, especially if she didn't offer up any suggestions (which I doubt because the OP wouldn't be here if she did). Whoever asks should have a plan in mind.

You honestly mean to tell me that if a guy said to you, "Hey, do you want to go to dinner Friday night?" and then gets to your house, picks you up and when you ask where you're going, he says, "Oh... I don't really know. What do you want to do?" you wouldn't think twice? I'd think the guy was a fuckin' flake.

I think you should have suggestions ready *on both sides*. It doesn't matter who asked whom out- that's all just old fashioned rules. It's not natural. You should just discuss it like you would with your friends while you're planning to go out.

If it hasn't been determined mutually by both parties beforehand, then when the guy shows up (which I find a little odd, I usually meet people out) I would say "so where do you want to go?" and then I would probably suggest something, and then he might suggest something, and then one of us would say "ok so let's go there..." I mean this is how people decide where to go out...one doesn't drive the other to some mystery location they've unilaterally pre-determined.

I don't think I've ever been on a date and just been sitting around waiting for a guy who has a plan I know nothing about. I mean that is just really putting the guy in complete control of the date...it's just really...weird.

Motown322

But it's not like going out with your friends... if that's the case, he should bring 5-6 of his buddies along to just hang out and go to dinner with them. You can call it old-fashioned, chauvinistic, whatever: it's still a date. A guy having a game plan is never a bad thing. It shows that he's interested. No game plan means that he hasn't given a passing thought to the date (or the girl) since she agreed to go out with him. It's apathetic if you ask me, and 99% of the women out there would be turned off. I'll play the percentages.

If you want to make suggestions, speak up. Or better yet, ask a guy out and plan something. Flip the script. But telling this guy to go in and wing it is more than likely a recipe for no 3rd date and some nights alone cuffing the carrot.

GreenTeaDisease

Motown322 wrote:

But it's not like going out with your friends... if that's the case, he should bring 5-6 of his buddies along to just hang out and go to dinner with them. You can call it old-fashioned, chauvinistic, whatever: it's still a date. A guy having a game plan is never a bad thing. It shows that he's interested. No game plan means that he hasn't given a passing thought to the date (or the girl) since she agreed to go out with him. It's apathetic if you ask me, and 99% of the women out there would be turned off. I'll play the percentages.

If you want to make suggestions, speak up. Or better yet, ask a guy out and plan something. Flip the script. But telling this guy to go in and wing it is more than likely a recipe for no 3rd date and some nights alone cuffing the carrot.

guys who do this are like the same guys who wear work khakis out on a date

i dunno, as I said, you should always have ideas, but one person planning where two people are going is just bizarre. It's almost akin to a guy ordering for you in a restaurant. And actually, I don't really adhere to all this "oh my god it's DATE!!! It's so much different than hanging out with my friend!" because whatever, it shouldn't be. You're just out having a good time and getting to know someone, it's not a job interview.

see I feel like guys think that girls want all these formal fancy dates and have all these rules, when really we just to chill, low stress.

Motown322

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

guys who do this are like the same guys who wear work khakis out on a date

i dunno, as I said, you should always have ideas, but one person planning where two people are going is just bizarre. It's almost akin to a guy ordering for you in a restaurant. And actually, I don't really adhere to all this "oh my god it's DATE!!! It's so much different than hanging out with my friend!" because whatever, it shouldn't be. You're just out having a good time and getting to know someone, it's not a job interview.

see I feel like guys think that girls want all these formal fancy dates and have all these rules, when really we just to chill, low stress.

I did it when I was dating, and I've never, NOT ONCE, worn khakis out on a date.

The way I see it, it is different than going out with your friends, and should be treated as such. Why not invite all your buddies along and then just go to the bar and pound Miller Lites and eat mozzerella sticks? I'm not saying you need to have a 7-course meal in a $150-a-plate restaurant followed up by a trip to a polo match, but having a game plan (even if it's for dinner at a certain restaurant followed up with bowling/drinks/roller derby/whatever) is never a bad thing. Having a game plan and having a guy order for you are not even in the same ballpark. There's nothing formal and stuffy about being prepared.

I would think that most girls would be flattered that a guy took a few minutes to plan a nice evening for the two of them. Wouldn't women feel special and worthwhile if a guy did that for them? I know that, as a guy, if a girl asked me out and then planned an entire evening for us, I'd definitely feel good about that (and probably put out).

SPEEDY MCCREADY

this poor guy gets his dating advice....

from a bunch of morons who hang out on a "pearl jam' message forum....

no wonder he cant get laid.....

hehehehehehe...........

londonwpr

LikeAnOcean wrote:

Either an Italian or American restaurant.. like Leona's, Goose Island, maybe Angelina's Ristorante.. Nothing too fancy, but not fast food.

My advice is to hit up the Wiener's Circle in Lincoln Park and request a chocolate shake. If you can't get laid after that, you have no hope!

blackredyellow

Motown322 wrote:

Did he ask her out? If he did, then the burden is on him to get shit planned, especially if she didn't offer up any suggestions (which I doubt because the OP wouldn't be here if she did). Whoever asks should have a plan in mind.

You honestly mean to tell me that if a guy said to you, "Hey, do you want to go to dinner Friday night?" and then gets to your house, picks you up and when you ask where you're going, he says, "Oh... I don't really know. What do you want to do?" you wouldn't think twice? I'd think the guy was a fuckin' flake.

Totally agree...

If you ask a girl out, you better have a plan. If she gets in the car and says, "hey, my friend told me about this great place...", then ya, absolutely you listen, discuss it and decide where to go. Or discuss it when you ask the girl out, that works too.

But to pick a date up, and have absolutely no idea where you are going, that is date suicide.

Motown322

SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:

this poor guy gets his dating advice....

from a bunch of morons who hang out on a "pearl jam' message forum....

no wonder he cant get laid.....

hehehehehehe...........

Hell, I'm trying to help him get it wet!!!!

At least he's got a date. He's already further along than 95% of this joint.

GreenTeaDisease

Motown322 wrote:

I did it when I was dating, and I've never, NOT ONCE, worn khakis out on a date.

The way I see it, it is different than going out with your friends, and should be treated as such. Why not invite all your buddies along and then just go to the bar and pound Miller Lites and eat mozzerella sticks? I'm not saying you need to have a 7-course meal in a $150-a-plate restaurant followed up by a trip to a polo match, but having a game plan (even if it's for dinner at a certain restaurant followed up with bowling/drinks/roller derby/whatever) is never a bad thing. Having a game plan and having a guy order for you are not even in the same ballpark. There's nothing formal and stuffy about being prepared.

I would think that most girls would be flattered that a guy took a few minutes to plan a nice evening for the two of them. Wouldn't women feel special and worthwhile if a guy did that for them? I know that, as a guy, if a girl asked me out and then planned an entire evening for us, I'd definitely feel good about that (and probably put out).

I don't know whatelse to tell you beyond what I already said. I'm just telling you want I think. I just don't think everything has to be so formal and imo it's much better if it isn't.

LikeAnOcean

Hey guys.. She's over right now and I'm on my laptop in my bathroom and have a question..

Should I be on top or the bottom???

Remember, this is only the second date! I don't want to screw it up!

MattCameronKicksButt

LikeAnOcean wrote:

Hey guys.. She's over right now and I'm on my laptop in my bathroom and have a question..

Should I be on top or the bottom???

Remember, this is only the second date! I don't want to screw it up!

I should imagine typing on your laptop is much easier than typing undernieth it. But really it's up to you.

LikeAnOcean

Dear public diary,

Date two went well. We pretty much had dinner and then stayed and had a few drink for about 3 hours..

Like date one, the first hour was not so fun, but interesting I guess I have to say. This girl is very serious about her job, which is good, but because I couldn't relate, I didn't have much input, so I felt like we didn't get anywhere at first.. It got better and did seem to end on a good note. No making out or anything, just a good night hug. I know she is busy this weekend driving home to her parents, but I invited her out to an event with my friend and his girlfriend anyways, just to let her know I had a good time and was still interested..

I'll should probably lay low all week and give her a call next weekend. Hopefully she'll call me before then.

xavier mcdaniel

sounds like fun, what'd you have for dinner?

LikeAnOcean

xavier mcdaniel wrote:

sounds like fun, what'd you have for dinner?

Burgers and beer.. I like this girls menu selction.

xavier mcdaniel

not that i'm an expert or anything but informal meals seem to be a good approach for the second time.

South of Seattle

LikeAnOcean wrote:

Burgers and beer.. I like this girls menu selction.

I guess it's Pizza next time?

Heineken Helen

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

um, yes. first of all, why should the *guy* get to plan the whole date? see that right there is annoying. if they plan it all out in advance then they DON'T care what YOU want to do. Plus it's just very old fashioned for the guy to be in charge of the date. I've had 4 hour dates, but not like that.

It's not a PLAN... it's having an idea of stuff in the area for IF the dinner goes well AND she says 'so do you have any idea what to do around here', if he says 'uh no' well the only reply is 'well I may as well go home'... rather than him saying what I suggested earlier instead. THIS goes for women too if you're the kind who likes to make the decisions.