I half agree with ya... but it's good to have one or two ideas for IF it goes well. Its nice to wander out of the restaurant and then he says 'I know this cosy little bar down the road' or the two of you accidentally wander to a beauty spot
Exactly!
Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
I half agree with ya... but it's good to have one or two ideas for IF it goes well. Its nice to wander out of the restaurant and then he says 'I know this cosy little bar down the road' or the two of you accidentally wander to a beauty spot
100% agree. You need to have some sort of plan. If you pull the old, "Well, what do you want to do now?" and "I don't care... doesn't matter to me. I'm fine with whatever" you might as well hang a lanyard off of your wang that says, "I don't ever want you near this thing".
In a woman's mind, no game plan = not very interested in the date which = not interested in the girl.
1
In a woman's mind, no game plan = not very interested in the date which = not interested in the girl.
this has never crossed my woman's mind...
I mean in ANY situation, date or no, one should have ideas for things to do in the area...doesn't matter what gender you are. so you have suggestions when you say "what do you want to do?" I'm actually pretty turned off by a guy who has a whole "date" all planned out.
I'm actually pretty turned off by a guy who has a whole "date" all planned out.
You're turned off by a guy who would think enough of his time with you to go ahead and plan a 4-5 hour night out for the two of you, rather than treating it as a situation where he comes off like he spent more time picking out the socks that he's wearing? I think you're in a pretty small group, then.
Playing it by ear is fine with an established BF/GF, but for a 2nd date I still say a guy should have his shit together enough to have a game plan.
you can't talk to someone you barely know over a band.
and if your date doesn't like music you're screwed.
If the date doesn't like music...that SUX.
And, IMO, there's no better date than pre-gaming for a concert...going to said concert...and then drinking more afterwards followed by some late night eats.
You're turned off by a guy who would think enough of his time with you to go ahead and plan a 4-5 hour night out for the two of you, rather than treating it as a situation where he comes off like he spent more time picking out the socks that he's wearing? I think you're in a pretty small group, then.
Playing it by ear is fine with an established BF/GF, but for a 2nd date I still say a guy should have his shit together enough to have a game plan.
um, yes. first of all, why should the *guy* get to plan the whole date? see that right there is annoying. if they plan it all out in advance then they DON'T care what YOU want to do. Plus it's just very old fashioned for the guy to be in charge of the date. I've had 4 hour dates, but not like that.
And, IMO, there's no better date than pre-gaming for a concert...going to said concert...and then drinking more afterwards followed by some late night eats.
Oh man.
I wish I ever had a date with someone who liked music...
"pre-gaming"? Maybe I've never had a date like that because I tend not to date 18 year old frat boys.
um, yes. first of all, why should the *guy* get to plan the whole date? see that right there is annoying. if they plan it all out in advance then they DON'T care what YOU want to do. Plus it's just very old fashioned for the guy to be in charge of the date. I've had 4 hour dates, but not like that.
Did he ask her out? If he did, then the burden is on him to get shit planned, especially if she didn't offer up any suggestions (which I doubt because the OP wouldn't be here if she did). Whoever asks should have a plan in mind.
You honestly mean to tell me that if a guy said to you, "Hey, do you want to go to dinner Friday night?" and then gets to your house, picks you up and when you ask where you're going, he says, "Oh... I don't really know. What do you want to do?" you wouldn't think twice? I'd think the guy was a fuckin' flake.
Did he ask her out? If he did, then the burden is on him to get shit planned, especially if she didn't offer up any suggestions (which I doubt because the OP wouldn't be here if she did). Whoever asks should have a plan in mind.
You honestly mean to tell me that if a guy said to you, "Hey, do you want to go to dinner Friday night?" and then gets to your house, picks you up and when you ask where you're going, he says, "Oh... I don't really know. What do you want to do?" you wouldn't think twice? I'd think the guy was a fuckin' flake.
I think you should have suggestions ready *on both sides*. It doesn't matter who asked whom out- that's all just old fashioned rules. It's not natural. You should just discuss it like you would with your friends while you're planning to go out.
If it hasn't been determined mutually by both parties beforehand, then when the guy shows up (which I find a little odd, I usually meet people out) I would say "so where do you want to go?" and then I would probably suggest something, and then he might suggest something, and then one of us would say "ok so let's go there..." I mean this is how people decide where to go out...one doesn't drive the other to some mystery location they've unilaterally pre-determined.
I don't think I've ever been on a date and just been sitting around waiting for a guy who has a plan I know nothing about. I mean that is just really putting the guy in complete control of the date...it's just really...weird.
But it's not like going out with your friends... if that's the case, he should bring 5-6 of his buddies along to just hang out and go to dinner with them. You can call it old-fashioned, chauvinistic, whatever: it's still a date. A guy having a game plan is never a bad thing. It shows that he's interested. No game plan means that he hasn't given a passing thought to the date (or the girl) since she agreed to go out with him. It's apathetic if you ask me, and 99% of the women out there would be turned off. I'll play the percentages.
If you want to make suggestions, speak up. Or better yet, ask a guy out and plan something. Flip the script. But telling this guy to go in and wing it is more than likely a recipe for no 3rd date and some nights alone cuffing the carrot.
But it's not like going out with your friends... if that's the case, he should bring 5-6 of his buddies along to just hang out and go to dinner with them. You can call it old-fashioned, chauvinistic, whatever: it's still a date. A guy having a game plan is never a bad thing. It shows that he's interested. No game plan means that he hasn't given a passing thought to the date (or the girl) since she agreed to go out with him. It's apathetic if you ask me, and 99% of the women out there would be turned off. I'll play the percentages.
If you want to make suggestions, speak up. Or better yet, ask a guy out and plan something. Flip the script. But telling this guy to go in and wing it is more than likely a recipe for no 3rd date and some nights alone cuffing the carrot.
guys who do this are like the same guys who wear work khakis out on a date
i dunno, as I said, you should always have ideas, but one person planning where two people are going is just bizarre. It's almost akin to a guy ordering for you in a restaurant. And actually, I don't really adhere to all this "oh my god it's DATE!!! It's so much different than hanging out with my friend!" because whatever, it shouldn't be. You're just out having a good time and getting to know someone, it's not a job interview.
see I feel like guys think that girls want all these formal fancy dates and have all these rules, when really we just to chill, low stress.
guys who do this are like the same guys who wear work khakis out on a date
i dunno, as I said, you should always have ideas, but one person planning where two people are going is just bizarre. It's almost akin to a guy ordering for you in a restaurant. And actually, I don't really adhere to all this "oh my god it's DATE!!! It's so much different than hanging out with my friend!" because whatever, it shouldn't be. You're just out having a good time and getting to know someone, it's not a job interview.
see I feel like guys think that girls want all these formal fancy dates and have all these rules, when really we just to chill, low stress.
I did it when I was dating, and I've never, NOT ONCE, worn khakis out on a date.
The way I see it, it is different than going out with your friends, and should be treated as such. Why not invite all your buddies along and then just go to the bar and pound Miller Lites and eat mozzerella sticks? I'm not saying you need to have a 7-course meal in a $150-a-plate restaurant followed up by a trip to a polo match, but having a game plan (even if it's for dinner at a certain restaurant followed up with bowling/drinks/roller derby/whatever) is never a bad thing. Having a game plan and having a guy order for you are not even in the same ballpark. There's nothing formal and stuffy about being prepared.
I would think that most girls would be flattered that a guy took a few minutes to plan a nice evening for the two of them. Wouldn't women feel special and worthwhile if a guy did that for them? I know that, as a guy, if a girl asked me out and then planned an entire evening for us, I'd definitely feel good about that (and probably put out).
Did he ask her out? If he did, then the burden is on him to get shit planned, especially if she didn't offer up any suggestions (which I doubt because the OP wouldn't be here if she did). Whoever asks should have a plan in mind.
You honestly mean to tell me that if a guy said to you, "Hey, do you want to go to dinner Friday night?" and then gets to your house, picks you up and when you ask where you're going, he says, "Oh... I don't really know. What do you want to do?" you wouldn't think twice? I'd think the guy was a fuckin' flake.
Totally agree...
If you ask a girl out, you better have a plan. If she gets in the car and says, "hey, my friend told me about this great place...", then ya, absolutely you listen, discuss it and decide where to go. Or discuss it when you ask the girl out, that works too.
But to pick a date up, and have absolutely no idea where you are going, that is date suicide.
My whole life
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
I did it when I was dating, and I've never, NOT ONCE, worn khakis out on a date.
The way I see it, it is different than going out with your friends, and should be treated as such. Why not invite all your buddies along and then just go to the bar and pound Miller Lites and eat mozzerella sticks? I'm not saying you need to have a 7-course meal in a $150-a-plate restaurant followed up by a trip to a polo match, but having a game plan (even if it's for dinner at a certain restaurant followed up with bowling/drinks/roller derby/whatever) is never a bad thing. Having a game plan and having a guy order for you are not even in the same ballpark. There's nothing formal and stuffy about being prepared.
I would think that most girls would be flattered that a guy took a few minutes to plan a nice evening for the two of them. Wouldn't women feel special and worthwhile if a guy did that for them? I know that, as a guy, if a girl asked me out and then planned an entire evening for us, I'd definitely feel good about that (and probably put out).
I don't know whatelse to tell you beyond what I already said. I'm just telling you want I think. I just don't think everything has to be so formal and imo it's much better if it isn't.
Date two went well. We pretty much had dinner and then stayed and had a few drink for about 3 hours..
Like date one, the first hour was not so fun, but interesting I guess I have to say. This girl is very serious about her job, which is good, but because I couldn't relate, I didn't have much input, so I felt like we didn't get anywhere at first.. It got better and did seem to end on a good note. No making out or anything, just a good night hug. I know she is busy this weekend driving home to her parents, but I invited her out to an event with my friend and his girlfriend anyways, just to let her know I had a good time and was still interested..
I'll should probably lay low all week and give her a call next weekend. Hopefully she'll call me before then.
Reading 2004
Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
Chicago 2007
Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016 Fenway 2, 2018 MSG 2022 St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023 MSG 2024, MSG 2024 Philadelphia 2024
"I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
Things happen in the game. Nothing you
can do. I don't go and say,
"I'm gonna beat this guy up."
not that i'm an expert or anything but informal meals seem to be a good approach for the second time.
Reading 2004
Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
Chicago 2007
Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016 Fenway 2, 2018 MSG 2022 St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023 MSG 2024, MSG 2024 Philadelphia 2024
"I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
Things happen in the game. Nothing you
can do. I don't go and say,
"I'm gonna beat this guy up."
um, yes. first of all, why should the *guy* get to plan the whole date? see that right there is annoying. if they plan it all out in advance then they DON'T care what YOU want to do. Plus it's just very old fashioned for the guy to be in charge of the date. I've had 4 hour dates, but not like that.
It's not a PLAN... it's having an idea of stuff in the area for IF the dinner goes well AND she says 'so do you have any idea what to do around here', if he says 'uh no' well the only reply is 'well I may as well go home'... rather than him saying what I suggested earlier instead. THIS goes for women too if you're the kind who likes to make the decisions.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Comments
Exactly!
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
This scenario actually worked out quite well for me recently and I wasn't even expecting it
100% agree. You need to have some sort of plan. If you pull the old, "Well, what do you want to do now?" and "I don't care... doesn't matter to me. I'm fine with whatever" you might as well hang a lanyard off of your wang that says, "I don't ever want you near this thing".
In a woman's mind, no game plan = not very interested in the date which = not interested in the girl.
Second best post of the fucking year.
I nearly died.
this has never crossed my woman's mind...
I mean in ANY situation, date or no, one should have ideas for things to do in the area...doesn't matter what gender you are. so you have suggestions when you say "what do you want to do?" I'm actually pretty turned off by a guy who has a whole "date" all planned out.
Any cool bands playing?
you can't talk to someone you barely know over a band.
and if your date doesn't like music you're screwed.
You're turned off by a guy who would think enough of his time with you to go ahead and plan a 4-5 hour night out for the two of you, rather than treating it as a situation where he comes off like he spent more time picking out the socks that he's wearing? I think you're in a pretty small group, then.
Playing it by ear is fine with an established BF/GF, but for a 2nd date I still say a guy should have his shit together enough to have a game plan.
If the date doesn't like music...that SUX.
And, IMO, there's no better date than pre-gaming for a concert...going to said concert...and then drinking more afterwards followed by some late night eats.
Oh man.
um, yes. first of all, why should the *guy* get to plan the whole date? see that right there is annoying. if they plan it all out in advance then they DON'T care what YOU want to do. Plus it's just very old fashioned for the guy to be in charge of the date. I've had 4 hour dates, but not like that.
I wish I ever had a date with someone who liked music...
"pre-gaming"? Maybe I've never had a date like that because I tend not to date 18 year old frat boys.
I call it pre-gaming out of habit.
I mean getting a few drinks pre-show.
Did he ask her out? If he did, then the burden is on him to get shit planned, especially if she didn't offer up any suggestions (which I doubt because the OP wouldn't be here if she did). Whoever asks should have a plan in mind.
You honestly mean to tell me that if a guy said to you, "Hey, do you want to go to dinner Friday night?" and then gets to your house, picks you up and when you ask where you're going, he says, "Oh... I don't really know. What do you want to do?" you wouldn't think twice? I'd think the guy was a fuckin' flake.
I think you should have suggestions ready *on both sides*. It doesn't matter who asked whom out- that's all just old fashioned rules. It's not natural. You should just discuss it like you would with your friends while you're planning to go out.
If it hasn't been determined mutually by both parties beforehand, then when the guy shows up (which I find a little odd, I usually meet people out) I would say "so where do you want to go?" and then I would probably suggest something, and then he might suggest something, and then one of us would say "ok so let's go there..." I mean this is how people decide where to go out...one doesn't drive the other to some mystery location they've unilaterally pre-determined.
I don't think I've ever been on a date and just been sitting around waiting for a guy who has a plan I know nothing about. I mean that is just really putting the guy in complete control of the date...it's just really...weird.
If you want to make suggestions, speak up. Or better yet, ask a guy out and plan something. Flip the script. But telling this guy to go in and wing it is more than likely a recipe for no 3rd date and some nights alone cuffing the carrot.
guys who do this are like the same guys who wear work khakis out on a date
i dunno, as I said, you should always have ideas, but one person planning where two people are going is just bizarre. It's almost akin to a guy ordering for you in a restaurant. And actually, I don't really adhere to all this "oh my god it's DATE!!! It's so much different than hanging out with my friend!" because whatever, it shouldn't be. You're just out having a good time and getting to know someone, it's not a job interview.
see I feel like guys think that girls want all these formal fancy dates and have all these rules, when really we just to chill, low stress.
I did it when I was dating, and I've never, NOT ONCE, worn khakis out on a date.
The way I see it, it is different than going out with your friends, and should be treated as such. Why not invite all your buddies along and then just go to the bar and pound Miller Lites and eat mozzerella sticks? I'm not saying you need to have a 7-course meal in a $150-a-plate restaurant followed up by a trip to a polo match, but having a game plan (even if it's for dinner at a certain restaurant followed up with bowling/drinks/roller derby/whatever) is never a bad thing. Having a game plan and having a guy order for you are not even in the same ballpark. There's nothing formal and stuffy about being prepared.
I would think that most girls would be flattered that a guy took a few minutes to plan a nice evening for the two of them. Wouldn't women feel special and worthwhile if a guy did that for them? I know that, as a guy, if a girl asked me out and then planned an entire evening for us, I'd definitely feel good about that (and probably put out).
from a bunch of morons who hang out on a "pearl jam' message forum....
no wonder he cant get laid.....
hehehehehehe...........
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
My advice is to hit up the Wiener's Circle in Lincoln Park and request a chocolate shake. If you can't get laid after that, you have no hope!
Totally agree...
If you ask a girl out, you better have a plan. If she gets in the car and says, "hey, my friend told me about this great place...", then ya, absolutely you listen, discuss it and decide where to go. Or discuss it when you ask the girl out, that works too.
But to pick a date up, and have absolutely no idea where you are going, that is date suicide.
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
Hell, I'm trying to help him get it wet!!!!
At least he's got a date. He's already further along than 95% of this joint.
I don't know whatelse to tell you beyond what I already said. I'm just telling you want I think. I just don't think everything has to be so formal and imo it's much better if it isn't.
Should I be on top or the bottom???
Remember, this is only the second date! I don't want to screw it up!
I should imagine typing on your laptop is much easier than typing undernieth it. But really it's up to you.
Date two went well. We pretty much had dinner and then stayed and had a few drink for about 3 hours..
Like date one, the first hour was not so fun, but interesting I guess I have to say. This girl is very serious about her job, which is good, but because I couldn't relate, I didn't have much input, so I felt like we didn't get anywhere at first.. It got better and did seem to end on a good note. No making out or anything, just a good night hug. I know she is busy this weekend driving home to her parents, but I invited her out to an event with my friend and his girlfriend anyways, just to let her know I had a good time and was still interested..
I'll should probably lay low all week and give her a call next weekend. Hopefully she'll call me before then.
Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
Chicago 2007
Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
Fenway 2, 2018
MSG 2022
St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
MSG 2024, MSG 2024
Philadelphia 2024
"I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
Things happen in the game. Nothing you
can do. I don't go and say,
"I'm gonna beat this guy up."
Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
Chicago 2007
Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
Fenway 2, 2018
MSG 2022
St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
MSG 2024, MSG 2024
Philadelphia 2024
"I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
Things happen in the game. Nothing you
can do. I don't go and say,
"I'm gonna beat this guy up."
I guess it's Pizza next time?
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you