if she's afraid or whatever reason she doesn't want to get pregnant is as good a reason as not being able to for medical reasons. You're a man so you don't ever have to think about it, but as a woman it is a big deal concerning your own body. Plus, she's not adding an extra human to an already resource-constrained world, AND she's taking resposibility for child she's not related to. plus as I said, you have no way of knowing if a couple is "more deserving" just because they haven't been able to get pregnant. And isn't even more of a gesture to say "yes, I could have my own offspring, but instead I'm going to help out." God, if everyone did that the world would be such an amazing place.
Yes, I'm a guy, but I have had to think about it as similar discussion have occurred with my wife. She was adopted, and thus is very open to adopting and I have no problem with this. She has also expressed that she is afraid of getting/being pregnant in a manner similar to how it has been discussed in this thread. I always thought she was just being a baby (no pun) about it and it would/should not be the main determining factor to not having kids together naturally, if we are able to. Many of you feel it's a valid reason which I don't agree with, but totally respect..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
I just don't think it is selfish to adopt, no matter what you're reasoning. Personally, I think being afraid of being putting your body through pregnancy (especially because of the potential for a complication that can be hereditary) is perfectly valid reason to adopt....not that there needs to be a reason or excuse. There are always going to be enough unwanted children out there.
Fair enough ..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
As, I originally stated, my intention is to give a home and a family to a child that needs one. I don't believe that family is limited to having biological children, and while there are children out there that need homes, I don't see the need to bring another child into the world.
I also have no desire to become pregnant. It's two different things, in my life at least.
Would I make an excellent parents, yes.. as would my husband.. and thats what I feel is most important. Not how we "acquire" a child, but how we love and care for that child
These are all valid reasons to me..I just got caught up in the 'being afraid' aspect..Anyway, thanks for the explanation..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
Yes, I'm a guy, but I have had to think about it as similar discussion have occurred with my wife. She was adopted, and thus is very open to adopting and I have no problem with this. She has also expressed that she is afraid of getting/being pregnant in a manner similar to how it has been discussed in this thread. I always thought she was just being a baby (no pun) about it and it would/should not be the main determining factor to not having kids together naturally, if we are able to. Many of you feel it's a valid reason which I don't agree with, but totally respect..
i think any reason to HAVE a baby, to ADOPT a baby, to NOT have a baby...are all valid. it is a personal and ridiculously important decision that affects others outside yourself. whatever is the most important reason for your decision, whatever it may be.....is a-ok being the 'main determining factor' imho. it's just too important and truly life-altering, in ALL ways, to say otherwise. just my 0.02.
as an aside, i am convinced that just about ANYthing, gravely important or truly insignificant, can be argued, mercilessly and endlessly, on this board. all part of the attraction/repulsion of this place i think.
to me, having children or not having children is always a choice. even those who can't biologically have children could still adopt if they so desired, barring a few choice circumstances. also, either scenario can be construed as 'selfish' or 'unselfish'...depending on your perspective. following your own desires and wants, is always a wee bit 'selfish' no matter what choice. anyhoo, a happily childless couple, that's us.
as an aside, i am convinced that just about ANYthing, gravely important or truly insignificant, can be argued, mercilessly and endlessly, on this board. all part of the attraction/repulsion of this place i think.
lmao, SOOOO true. I think I could make a post about what I'm going to make for dinner, and if enough people noticed it, a debate would eventually ensue.
topic: gray, i don't have any answers for you. i have 3 of my own. there are some days, i would be happy to give you 1 or 2....for free.....make sure you catch me on one of those days;)
not on topic: did anyone else notice that the champ got married and came back all serious and shit? wtf???
topic: gray, i don't have any answers for you. i have 3 of my own. there are some days, i would be happy to give you 1 or 2....for free.....make sure you catch me on one of those days;)
not on topic: did anyone else notice that the champ got married and back all serious and shit? wtf???
reason #5,629 why men shouldn't get married.
Don't worry, overall I'm still the same a-hole ..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
as an aside, i am convinced that just about ANYthing, gravely important or truly insignificant, can be argued, mercilessly and endlessly, on this board. all part of the attraction/repulsion of this place i think.
"Mercilessly and endlessly"...Yes, your observation is so true!
Here...let me make it up to you. Would you like a 2 year old? She's driving me a little crazy right now.
nope, Annabelle is all yours
Come to think of it, my Mom said twins run in our family also! :eek:
thinking of carrying two babies kinda makes me go Whoa! Two! I'm tiny, one baby is one thing but I'd look like a watermelon if I had two inside me! LOL
Also if I may humbly say I think age has something to do with it the baby thing. I'm 35.
And also I think sometimes a woman meets a particular man and feels the need/desire to have his children. I think that's how it works sometimes,
but if someone wants to adopt and not have their own children, what's wrong with that? Who are we to judge? Only God can judge. Geesh! Life is short...
"...like a word misplaced, nothing said, what a waste.."
"Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
6-01-06
6/25/08
Free Speedy
and Metsy!
Comments
Yes, I'm a guy, but I have had to think about it as similar discussion have occurred with my wife. She was adopted, and thus is very open to adopting and I have no problem with this. She has also expressed that she is afraid of getting/being pregnant in a manner similar to how it has been discussed in this thread. I always thought she was just being a baby (no pun) about it and it would/should not be the main determining factor to not having kids together naturally, if we are able to. Many of you feel it's a valid reason which I don't agree with, but totally respect..
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
Fair enough
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
These are all valid reasons to me..I just got caught up in the 'being afraid' aspect..Anyway, thanks for the explanation..
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
i think any reason to HAVE a baby, to ADOPT a baby, to NOT have a baby...are all valid. it is a personal and ridiculously important decision that affects others outside yourself. whatever is the most important reason for your decision, whatever it may be.....is a-ok being the 'main determining factor' imho. it's just too important and truly life-altering, in ALL ways, to say otherwise. just my 0.02.
as an aside, i am convinced that just about ANYthing, gravely important or truly insignificant, can be argued, mercilessly and endlessly, on this board.
to me, having children or not having children is always a choice. even those who can't biologically have children could still adopt if they so desired, barring a few choice circumstances. also, either scenario can be construed as 'selfish' or 'unselfish'...depending on your perspective. following your own desires and wants, is always a wee bit 'selfish' no matter what choice. anyhoo, a happily childless couple, that's us.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
lmao, SOOOO true. I think I could make a post about what I'm going to make for dinner, and if enough people noticed it, a debate would eventually ensue.
not on topic: did anyone else notice that the champ got married and came back all serious and shit? wtf???
reason #5,629 why men shouldn't get married.
Don't worry, overall I'm still the same a-hole
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
"Mercilessly and endlessly"...Yes, your observation is so true!
nope, Annabelle is all yours
Come to think of it, my Mom said twins run in our family also! :eek:
thinking of carrying two babies kinda makes me go Whoa! Two! I'm tiny, one baby is one thing but I'd look like a watermelon if I had two inside me! LOL
Also if I may humbly say I think age has something to do with it the baby thing. I'm 35.
And also I think sometimes a woman meets a particular man and feels the need/desire to have his children. I think that's how it works sometimes,
but if someone wants to adopt and not have their own children, what's wrong with that? Who are we to judge? Only God can judge. Geesh! Life is short...
"Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
6-01-06
6/25/08
Free Speedy
and Metsy!