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"I'm hotter then my significant other"

GraySaturdayGraySaturday Posts: 2,878
edited May 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
NO, this is not my statement.

So I am watching a show, I won't admit what it is :p But the topic is having a significant other that is better looking then you. And I think this is interesting, because they are discussing how feeling "less than" in a physical sense can hurt a relationship and cause stress.

Does anyone have experience with this? I know my mom will always say, "Oh, she is better looking for a girl then he is for a guy" or vice versa.
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  • urbanhippieurbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    My ex had no reservations about telling me that he was good looking. He loved telling me about all the times he got chatted up at work/out with his friends.
    Yeah, it sucked and it's funny that now he's single, it doesn't seem to happen :confused:
    A human being that was given to fly.

    Wembley 18/06/07

    If there was a reason, it was you.

    O2 Arena 18/09/09
  • EvilMerlinEvilMerlin Posts: 1,865
    GraySaturday wrote:
    NO, this is not my statement.

    So I am watching a show, I won't admit what it is :p But the topic is having a significant other that is better looking then you. And I think this is interesting, because they are discussing how feeling "less than" in a physical sense can hurt a relationship and cause stress.

    Does anyone have experience with this? I know my mom will always say, "Oh, she is better looking for a girl then he is for a guy" or vice versa.

    I dated a girl who thought I was better than her once, when we first started it was the other way around. I never said anything out loud to her, but I was just like "wow, why's she talking to me?" Then as it progressed she would just say things like I'm better looking than her, outgoing personality, etc etc and would just completely put herself in a funk. It was hard to get over for her and ended up taking its toll on me. I hated talking about it every other day.

    Also I've had a few girls who, it's not the same, but a little on topic, would get insecure and complain that girls ALWAYS stare at me wherever we go. I try telling them no matter where I go, I get stared at. I walk into a room, I'm noticed. I'm 6'9" I'm always going to be stared at. But then they'd argue, "no, it's different the way girls look at you than how the guys do." Ugh. so frustrating sometimes.

    But when I've dated someone that I felt was better looking than my capabilities, I thought it was cool. I didn't mind, I figured it was just complimentary to a cool person and saw that as a nice plus. I guess some people just deal with it differently.
  • iluvcatsiluvcats Posts: 5,153
    EvilMerlin wrote:
    I dated a girl who thought I was better than her once, when we first started it was the other way around. I never said anything out loud to her, but I was just like "wow, why's she talking to me?" Then as it progressed she would just say things like I'm better looking than her, outgoing personality, etc etc and would just completely put herself in a funk. It was hard to get over for her and ended up taking its toll on me. I hated talking about it every other day.

    Also I've had a few girls who, it's not the same, but a little on topic, would get insecure and complain that girls ALWAYS stare at me wherever we go. I try telling them no matter where I go, I get stared at. I walk into a room, I'm noticed. I'm 6'9" I'm always going to be stared at. But then they'd argue, "no, it's different the way girls look at you than how the guys do." Ugh. so frustrating sometimes.

    But when I've dated someone that I felt was better looking than my capabilities, I thought it was cool. I didn't mind, I figured it was just complimentary to a cool person and saw that as a nice plus. I guess some people just deal with it differently.

    urbanhippie, I dated an ugly guy who acted the way you described. He was a conceited (WHY i'll never know) idiot. That's not right to be treated that way to hear that other women wanted him!

    evil, we need pics. posts are more effective with pics.
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • EvilMerlinEvilMerlin Posts: 1,865
    iluvcats wrote:
    urbanhippie, I dated an ugly guy who acted the way you described. He was a conceited (WHY i'll never know) idiot. That's not right to be treated that way to hear that other women wanted him!

    evil, we need pics. posts are more effective with pics.

    Pics that show off my height?
  • iluvcatsiluvcats Posts: 5,153
    EvilMerlin wrote:
    Pics that show off my height?

    oh I'm sorry I did not read the whole post, that they stare at your height.
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • urbanhippieurbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    iluvcats wrote:
    urbanhippie, I dated an ugly guy who acted the way you described. He was a conceited (WHY i'll never know) idiot. That's not right to be treated that way to hear that other women wanted him!
    Yeah, it damaged my confidence for a long time. I hated having pictures taken and would try to duck out of any and hide in corners at parties and things like that.

    Thankfully, the longer he's gone, the more my confidence seems to be returning. 15 years of feeling inferior takes some work to beat though.
    A human being that was given to fly.

    Wembley 18/06/07

    If there was a reason, it was you.

    O2 Arena 18/09/09
  • kh65kh65 Posts: 946
    EvilMerlin wrote:
    Pics that show off my height?

    They want to know if the rumors are true. About height and other sizes. :)
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • Brain of J.LoBrain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    My husband says that I'm the better looking one but I think we are evenly matched. He's much more attractive than he realizes. Even as he ages, I think he looks more attractive. Anyway, if he truly believes that I'm more attractive, then I would hope it wouldn't damage him!!!
  • GraySaturdayGraySaturday Posts: 2,878
    urbanhippie wrote:
    My ex had no reservations about telling me that he was good looking. He loved telling me about all the times he got chatted up at work/out with his friends.
    Yeah, it sucked and it's funny that now he's single, it doesn't seem to happen :confused:

    I'm glad he seems to be getting his, what a jerk.

    The guys on this show are the "better looking ones", but they are super supportive of their significant others. They seem to not understand what the girls are even talking about.

    I have to wonder if it's a woman thing to think they look worse, while some guys tend to think they look better? It seems when the sexes compare things, men tend to compare upwards, like, wow, I'm so much better looking then that dude. But women tend to always compare down, like, wow that woman is so much better then me..

    Thats my observation, at least.
  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    EvilMerlin wrote:
    Pics that show off my height?


    Now is that like a Chevy Chase Fletch 6'9" or a legitimate 6'9"? Either way, you best be hoopin'!
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  • urbanhippieurbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    GraySaturday wrote:
    I have to wonder if it's a woman thing to think they look worse, while some guys tend to think they look better? It seems when the sexes compare things, men tend to compare upwards, like, wow, I'm so much better looking then that dude. But women tend to always compare down, like, wow that woman is so much better then me..

    Thats my observation, at least.
    Y'know, I think you have something there. Why do some women feel the need to do themselves down? I've done it myself, but I hope I'm getting over it. It does seem to be a female trait though.
    A human being that was given to fly.

    Wembley 18/06/07

    If there was a reason, it was you.

    O2 Arena 18/09/09
  • EvilMerlinEvilMerlin Posts: 1,865
    kh65 wrote:
    They want to know if the rumors are true. About height and other sizes. :)

    Oh great, I thought I only had to deal with that on the weekends at the bars when a girl is drunk enough to ask! Now here too? Geeeeeez :p
  • GraySaturdayGraySaturday Posts: 2,878
    urbanhippie wrote:
    Y'know, I think you have something there. Why do some women feel the need to do themselves down? I've done it myself, but I hope I'm getting over it. It does seem to be a female trait though.

    I know I'm totally guilty of it. And all of the females in my life seem to do the same thing. I can't recall a time where I was with a female and she said "Wow, I'm pretty good looking compared to that girl". Not that its the most pleasant and becoming statement, but neither is "Wow, she is so much prettier then me, I'm so ugly" You know?

    I have been around many guys who will be quick to tell you how much better looking they are then the next guy.
  • EvilMerlinEvilMerlin Posts: 1,865
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Now is that like a Chevy Chase Fletch 6'9" or a legitimate 6'9"? Either way, you best be hoopin'!

    a legitimate 6'9" Barefoot.
  • GraySaturdayGraySaturday Posts: 2,878
    EvilMerlin wrote:
    a legitimate 6'9" Barefoot.

    Wow! Thats really tall. Over a foot taller than me, and I am pretty tall for a girl.
  • iluvcatsiluvcats Posts: 5,153
    EvilMerlin wrote:
    Oh great, I thought I only had to deal with that on the weekends at the bars when a girl is drunk enough to ask! Now here too? Geeeeeez :p

    lol, no way....it was my misunderstanding :) I could care less if you need tweezers.
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • EvilMerlinEvilMerlin Posts: 1,865
    GraySaturday wrote:
    Wow! Thats really tall. Over a foot taller than me, and I am pretty tall for a girl.

    hehe yeah I get that a lot. 5'8 is the tallest girl I've ever dated. 5'5" the shortest. So I seem to get the average to pretty tall. But never taller. I find it strange, I dunno.

    I did meet Lisa Leslie a couple of times, and you know, I must say, it would be weird to me to have a girl seeing eye to eye, or close to it with anyone taller than say, 5'11." I guess I'm just used to people being shorter than me now.
  • EvilMerlinEvilMerlin Posts: 1,865
    iluvcats wrote:
    lol, no way....it was my misunderstanding :) I could care less if you need tweezers.

    LOL I know, I was just teasing, as were you. I wouldn't know if I needed tweezers or not, it's too far down for me to look and I start to get dizzy. :p
  • comebackwomancomebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    My fiance is better looking than me...but I'm almost 11 years older than him...so makes sense - it's hard to compete with youth. I don't feel like we're mismatched though...we seem to complement each other...and he's one of those people who don't realize how hot they are...so it all works in the end.
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • GraySaturdayGraySaturday Posts: 2,878
    comebackgirl wrote:
    My fiance is better looking than me...but I'm almost 11 years older than him...so makes sense - it's hard to compete with youth. I don't feel like we're mismatched though...we seem to complement each other...and he's one of those people who don't realize how hot they are...so it all works in the end.

    Zoso is 23? I did not know this. I think you guys are cute together from the pictures you've posted. Honestly, I had no idea you were older then him. I'd say you were both very evenly matched.
  • kh65kh65 Posts: 946
    I'm too sexy for my shirt.

    Oh wait, wrong message board.
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • comebackwomancomebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    GraySaturday wrote:
    Zoso is 23? I did not know this. I think you guys are cute together from the pictures you've posted. Honestly, I had no idea you were older then him. I'd say you were both very evenly matched.
    Thank you - yeah he'll be 24 in August...so we're a bit more than 10 1/2 years apart. Usually I forget about the age difference...unless he's just shaved...then he looks YOUNG! :p I feel like we fit together...even if it's not an even match.
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • PJPixiePJPixie Posts: 3,026
    EvilMerlin wrote:
    I dated a girl who thought I was better than her once, when we first started it was the other way around. I never said anything out loud to her, but I was just like "wow, why's she talking to me?" Then as it progressed she would just say things like I'm better looking than her, outgoing personality, etc etc and would just completely put herself in a funk. It was hard to get over for her and ended up taking its toll on me. I hated talking about it every other day.

    Also I've had a few girls who, it's not the same, but a little on topic, would get insecure and complain that girls ALWAYS stare at me wherever we go. I try telling them no matter where I go, I get stared at. I walk into a room, I'm noticed. I'm 6'9" I'm always going to be stared at. But then they'd argue, "no, it's different the way girls look at you than how the guys do." Ugh. so frustrating sometimes.

    But when I've dated someone that I felt was better looking than my capabilities, I thought it was cool. I didn't mind, I figured it was just complimentary to a cool person and saw that as a nice plus. I guess some people just deal with it differently.


    6'9".............DROOLS................I HAVE IT BAD FOR TALL GUYS!
    The best use of Life is Love.
    The best expression of Love is Time.
    The best time to Love is Now.


    I'm never as good as when you're there.........
  • EvilMerlinEvilMerlin Posts: 1,865
    PJPixie wrote:
    6'9".............DROOLS................I HAVE IT BAD FOR TALL GUYS!

    DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE! You're supposed to be ambiguous. If you're going to start being straight forward and what not I can't reply to your posts anymore! You're taking the fun out of it all. Sheeesh.

    And yeah, I hear that a lot too, then they go off and date someone that's 6'2" or something and I'm like, Psh, that's not tall! And then they go "yes it is, you're just freakin tall!" And I'm like, "oh yeah...gotta bring the freak into it." :(
  • PJPixiePJPixie Posts: 3,026
    EvilMerlin wrote:
    DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE! You're supposed to be ambiguous. If you're going to start being straight forward and what not I can't reply to your posts anymore! You're taking the fun out of it all. Sheeesh.

    And yeah, I hear that a lot too, then they go off and date someone that's 6'2" or something and I'm like, Psh, that's not tall! And then they go "yes it is, you're just freakin tall!" And I'm like, "oh yeah...gotta bring the freak into it." :(

    Ooooppsss.........sorry. (wipes the messy drool up)



    I should be taller, I have big feet. I got ripped off :(
    The best use of Life is Love.
    The best expression of Love is Time.
    The best time to Love is Now.


    I'm never as good as when you're there.........
  • kh65kh65 Posts: 946
    EvilMerlin wrote:
    DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE! You're supposed to be ambiguous. If you're going to start being straight forward and what not I can't reply to your posts anymore! You're taking the fun out of it all. Sheeesh.

    And yeah, I hear that a lot too, then they go off and date someone that's 6'2" or something and I'm like, Psh, that's not tall! And then they go "yes it is, you're just freakin tall!" And I'm like, "oh yeah...gotta bring the freak into it." :(
    Freaks are generally cool. Until you hit the bedroom and the the weird bondage shit is lying around. :)
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • rebornFixerrebornFixer Posts: 4,901
    My wife is model-hot (albeit she eats, so is of normal weight) ... I, however, look like any other kid from the prairies ... Average at best.

    This is not a problem, though. The people would would comment on this cannot see us anyhow, what with their sunglasses that are around 8 times larger than their faces.
  • iluvcatsiluvcats Posts: 5,153
    reborncareerist wrote:
    My wife is model-hot (albeit she eats, so is of normal weight) ... I, however, look like any other kid from the prairies ... Average at best.

    This is not a problem, though. The people would would comment on this cannot see us anyhow, what with their sunglasses that are around 8 times larger than their faces.

    quit lying. you know you look like orlando bloom and your hair is vedderesque.
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • EvilMerlinEvilMerlin Posts: 1,865
    kh65 wrote:
    Freaks are generally cool. Until you hit the bedroom and the the weird bondage shit is lying around. :)

    LOL very true. I just tend to kick it all under the bed really quick. :p
  • Stone Is GodStone Is God Posts: 1,331
    EvilMerlin wrote:
    I dated a girl who thought I was better than her once, when we first started it was the other way around. I never said anything out loud to her, but I was just like "wow, why's she talking to me?" Then as it progressed she would just say things like I'm better looking than her, outgoing personality, etc etc and would just completely put herself in a funk. It was hard to get over for her and ended up taking its toll on me. I hated talking about it every other day.

    Also I've had a few girls who, it's not the same, but a little on topic, would get insecure and complain that girls ALWAYS stare at me wherever we go. I try telling them no matter where I go, I get stared at. I walk into a room, I'm noticed. I'm 6'9" I'm always going to be stared at. But then they'd argue, "no, it's different the way girls look at you than how the guys do." Ugh. so frustrating sometimes.

    But when I've dated someone that I felt was better looking than my capabilities, I thought it was cool. I didn't mind, I figured it was just complimentary to a cool person and saw that as a nice plus. I guess some people just deal with it differently.

    Someone else who feels my pain. I also stand at 6 foot 9 and I think that the girls stare at us more because of the "myths" of the tall people. I think the problem that we have is girls always want to come up to us and touch us like we're some sort of circus clown.

    My girlfriend is far better looking than I am even though she says that I'm hot. I usually tell her to stop lying.
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me.
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