Any guys ever fake an orgasm?

13

Comments

  • Pauk
    Pauk Posts: 1,084
    Yep. The things she was doing were downright painful so I wanted it over ASAP. I'm quite surprised she fell for it to be honest.
    Paul
    '06 - London, Dublin, Reading
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    '09 - London, Manchester, London
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  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    i faked it in a restaurant once.. i was with my wife and i just made all these grunting noises and ohhhh yessss and stuff like that... and this big fat bald guy said to the waiter "oh i'll have what he's having".. and i yelled back "it's a fucking salad fat tits, you better ask the guy to deep fry it"

    they copied that for a film... i think it was called "Fat Tits Orders A Salad"
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • brain of c
    brain of c Posts: 5,213
    dunkman wrote:
    i faked it in a restaurant once.. i was with my wife and i just made all these grunting noises and ohhhh yessss and stuff like that... and this big fat bald guy said to the waiter "oh i'll have what he's having".. and i yelled back "it's a fucking salad fat tits, you better ask the guy to deep fry it"

    they copied that for a film... i think it was called "Fat Tits Orders A Salad"

    i saw that movie.
    d'oh!!!!!!

    http://www.myspace.com/brain_of_c
  • westsidepie
    westsidepie Posts: 627
    This thread is useless without video and audio.

    Perhaps there is a website like the shemale test. Ten little videos, and we get to guess whether the orgasm is real or fake.

    It's fake! That was mayonnaise. eww.

    I think I would rather play this game deciding whether or not a woman was faking.
    To pie I will reply
    But mr. justam
    is who I am

    "That's a repulsive combination of horrible information and bad breath."-Pickles

    "Remember, death is a natural part of the workplace. So, when you see a dead body at work, don't freak out, just ring your death bell." "ting"-Toki Wartooth
  • Dissidentman
    Dissidentman Posts: 15,378
    brainofPJ wrote:
    problem is whenever im drunk my wife tells me in the morning i tried to stick it you know where.

    Is that bad?
  • LikeAnOpeningBandForTheSun
    LikeAnOpeningBandForTheSun Posts: 6,097
    what was i supposed to do? that girl was like the grand canyon and i drank way to much.

    not sure if she bought it though.
  • ozsmalltowngirl
    ozsmalltowngirl Posts: 14,362
    stickboy wrote:
    "it's not lubriderm baby, it's called PEARRLLL JAM..c'mon say it with me..."

    Wife: "damn honey..you got PEARRLLL Jam all over the place!"


    "
    OMG :eek: I've got Pearl Jam on my back right now :eek:

    I can't get it off :eek:
















    Prolly cuz it's a tattoo ;) LOL!

    sorry....that was lame, I know - I'm tired. :o
  • NY PJ1
    NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    lol no
  • stickboy
    stickboy Posts: 2,981
    ozsmalltowngirl wrote:
    OMG :eek: I've got Pearl Jam on my back right now :eek:

    I can't get it off :eek:
















    Prolly cuz it's a tattoo LOL!

    sorry....that was lame, I know - I'm tired. :o

    haHHAH!
    no worries... Im sure it looks good on your back :D
    Aah, fuck it, I’m just gonna go home, turn on the fuckin’ TV...
    Watch the nightly news and drink a beer...
    Like I could even change the world, yeah right...
    ************************************
  • kh65
    kh65 Posts: 946
    long red wrote:
    you could spit on her back.

    of course, you'd have to be in the right position for that.

    I've given this way too much thought. This really couldn't work unless she was drunk enough. Spit doesn't look the same, there wouldn't be enough of it, plus the sound you make when you spit. However conditioner or hand cream might work except the temp. would have to be right plus the logistics.

    I HAVE thought about this WAY too much.
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • Dissidentman
    Dissidentman Posts: 15,378
    kh65 wrote:
    I've given this way too much thought. This really couldn't work unless she was drunk enough. Spit doesn't look the same, there wouldn't be enough of it, plus the sound you make when you spit. However conditioner or hand cream might work except the temp. would have to be right plus the logistics.

    I HAVE thought about this WAY too much.

    I had a buddy in high school that put vanilla yogurt in the microwave for about 20 seconds, then went up to a kid who was passed out at the party and made all sorts of moaning sounds, then threw the yogurt on the kids back.

    Good times.
  • kh65
    kh65 Posts: 946
    dissidentman wrote:
    I had a buddy in high school that put vanilla yogurt in the microwave for about 20 seconds, then went up to a kid who was passed out at the party and made all sorts of moaning sounds, then threw the yogurt on the kids back.

    Good times.

    That is fucking AWESOME. I know that would freak me out. Just make sure it isn't too hot or they'll think you have a fever. :)
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • Dissidentman
    Dissidentman Posts: 15,378
    kh65 wrote:
    That is fucking AWESOME. I know that would freak me out. Just make sure it isn't too hot or they'll think you have a fever. :)

    And salt to taste...
  • kh65
    kh65 Posts: 946
    dissidentman wrote:
    And salt to taste...

    Then get someone (anyone, funnier with a REALLY straight guy) to come in and eat it. That would probably make me puke.
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • stickboy
    stickboy Posts: 2,981
    woooow :eek:
    ok, thats my cue to never come back in this thread lol
    Aah, fuck it, I’m just gonna go home, turn on the fuckin’ TV...
    Watch the nightly news and drink a beer...
    Like I could even change the world, yeah right...
    ************************************
  • mca47
    mca47 Posts: 13,337
    brainofPJ wrote:
    problem is whenever im drunk my wife tells me in the morning i tried to stick it you know where.

    LOL!
  • Dissidentman
    Dissidentman Posts: 15,378
    mca47 wrote:
    LOL!

    Something tells me he's not talking about the mayonnaise jar.
  • rearviewmiror
    rearviewmiror Posts: 894
    I have. When you just want it to end, or you didnt want it in the first place.

    Usually though when i end up being Marathon man I give up for her sake. She's usually happy by then anyways. When it isnt going to happen, you just know it, especially when you exhaust your go to positions.
    9/7/98, 8/3/00, 9/4/00, 4/15/03, 7/1/03, 9/28/04, 9/29/04, 5/24/06, 5/25/06, 6/17/08, 6/22/08, 6/28/08, 6/30/08, 5/17/10, 10/15/13, 10/16/13.
  • Nothingman54
    Nothingman54 Posts: 2,251
    long red wrote:
    Me neither.


    I'v done it many many times.
    I'll be back
  • drivingrl
    drivingrl Posts: 1,448
    fowls wrote:
    Yep. The things she was doing were downright painful so I wanted it over ASAP. I'm quite surprised she fell for it to be honest.

    I have to say, as a woman, this is one of my worst nightmares. I would hope that a man would tell me if I'm hurting him!
    drivingrl: "Will I ever get to meet Gwen Stefani?"
    kevinbeetle: "Yes. When her career washes up and her and Gavin move to Galveston, you will meet her at Hot Topic shopping for a Japanese cheerleader outfit.

    Next!"

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