I lost my sister in '06. I still think about her everyday. Sometimes good memories sometimes sad ones.
I was looking after her for the last 3 months and the only fours day I got off in that time was four PJ concerts.
I sat down in my seat for the first night with heavy heart not knowing how I was going to enjoy the shows with everything that was going on. Out come the band and went straight in Release. I was simmering with emotion until Ed started screaming RELEASE ME!! and it all came flooding out.
Needless to say they were four incredible gigs finishing with the now famous Newcastle '06 gig and I was all gased up and ready for what lay ahead.
Happy Birthday Nicole. I hope you have met Annie and you have had dance or two for us.
Her oldest son, who is coming up on 18 (I just realized that as I typed it.... wow. :shock: ) and I keep in regular contact. We're close, share things in common, and have kept a relationship all these years. It's funny, but because we're so close in age (I am 23, going on 24) I feel like his older brother. I think he feels the same way, but now that I think of it, it's never been spoken of. But, he still calls me "Uncle Dave" just as he's done all his life and it warms my heart every time. He's nearing the end of his high school career and will eventually have to move on to better things. I've done my best over the years, especially since his mother died, to be there for him and to provide as best of an example as I can. We've had talks about the tihngs that present themselves to teenagers and the dangerous paths that appear. I am very proud of him as he has a very good head on his shoulders. In his words, he "doesn't want to live the way his parents did". Which is dysfunctional, goal-less, and addicted. I hope he keeps that attitude. It's no doubt that coming from my sister's bloodline that he is vulnerable to addictions. We don't dance around the subject of his mom, and we almost always bring her up in a positive light when we spend time together. I think that when we spend time together, it is a very positive way of remembering her mother together. We do things in her honor, and we never forget her together.
I hope that I have done and am continuing to do a good job of being a respectable figure in his life. Knowing that I have been would bring me nothing but joy. When my sister was alive and I was younger, I often asked her about how she was going to teach him a variety of lessons, and she would tell me. I've wanted to carry on those ideas to him since she is not here to do it herself, so... I hope that I am making her proud as well.
Her second born and only daughter: To be honest... I have no idea where she resides with her father. Back in 2006 when I was living with my sister, her and her daughter's father were going through some real legality issues in terms of custody as he was looking to move out of the country with his new wife. I'm fairly certain she is still in the states, but no one in my family really has contact with her... and I truly feel like it will continue to deteriorate as I believe that her father chooses to distance her form her mother's family. So be it, I guess. Nevertheless, I miss her.
Her twin boys are under the care of their father, who I am in contact with via Facebook. I feel particularly good about this situation. Back in 2009, their father hit rock bottom and was incarcerated for a good amount of time. Since being released the guy has completely turned himself around. He has found religion, and is totally on the straight and narrow.
While I am not a religious guy, from an outside perspective, I only see this as a positive for those two young boys. They're being raised in a healthy (both mentally and physically), supportive, and loving environment. I predict that they'll grow up in an environment that is quite different that the one that I choose to live in, but I know that they're dad would not have any objections to me seeing them if I chose to do so.
It hasn't been too long since I've seen those two. My dad used to voluntarily take them one weekend of the month as a way for him to stay connected, and for my brother and I to have an opportunity to spend time with them. Unfortunately he doesn't do that any longer because his work schedule doesn't permit and he admittedly said "I do not have the energy anymore to keep up with two boys that are 6 years old", which I totally understand.
So, in short I guess, there is really only one of her kids that is out of my life and will probably continue to be.
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
I love that this thread has been around so long, this is the first time I've seen it.
Rest in peace Nicole, and Happy 35th.
I love that this thread has been around too. I enjoy coming back here every year to honor her on her birthday, and really just whenever I am thinking about her and I need a place to express my feelings regarding it.
It's unfortunate that she was really only "in" my life for about 4 years, but she had such a monumental impact on me as a person in those 4 years, that I cannot go the rest of my life without holding her close to me. She truly resonates with now, and will for the rest of my life.
The main thing that I really get sad about is knowing that the kids that I know I'll eventually have will never be able to meet their aunt. My girlfriend, who actually met her once before she passed, still talks about how she is really disappointed that she couldn't know her more.
Such is life.
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Her oldest son, who is coming up on 18 (I just realized that as I typed it.... wow. :shock: ) and I keep in regular contact. We're close, share things in common, and have kept a relationship all these years. It's funny, but because we're so close in age (I am 23, going on 24) I feel like his older brother. I think he feels the same way, but now that I think of it, it's never been spoken of. But, he still calls me "Uncle Dave" just as he's done all his life and it warms my heart every time. He's nearing the end of his high school career and will eventually have to move on to better things. I've done my best over the years, especially since his mother died, to be there for him and to provide as best of an example as I can. We've had talks about the tihngs that present themselves to teenagers and the dangerous paths that appear. I am very proud of him as he has a very good head on his shoulders. In his words, he "doesn't want to live the way his parents did". Which is dysfunctional, goal-less, and addicted. I hope he keeps that attitude. It's no doubt that coming from my sister's bloodline that he is vulnerable to addictions. We don't dance around the subject of his mom, and we almost always bring her up in a positive light when we spend time together. I think that when we spend time together, it is a very positive way of remembering her mother together. We do things in her honor, and we never forget her together.
I hope that I have done and am continuing to do a good job of being a respectable figure in his life. Knowing that I have been would bring me nothing but joy. When my sister was alive and I was younger, I often asked her about how she was going to teach him a variety of lessons, and she would tell me. I've wanted to carry on those ideas to him since she is not here to do it herself, so... I hope that I am making her proud as well.
Her second born and only daughter: To be honest... I have no idea where she resides with her father. Back in 2006 when I was living with my sister, her and her daughter's father were going through some real legality issues in terms of custody as he was looking to move out of the country with his new wife. I'm fairly certain she is still in the states, but no one in my family really has contact with her... and I truly feel like it will continue to deteriorate as I believe that her father chooses to distance her form her mother's family. So be it, I guess. Nevertheless, I miss her.
Her twin boys are under the care of their father, who I am in contact with via Facebook. I feel particularly good about this situation. Back in 2009, their father hit rock bottom and was incarcerated for a good amount of time. Since being released the guy has completely turned himself around. He has found religion, and is totally on the straight and narrow.
While I am not a religious guy, from an outside perspective, I only see this as a positive for those two young boys. They're being raised in a healthy (both mentally and physically), supportive, and loving environment. I predict that they'll grow up in an environment that is quite different that the one that I choose to live in, but I know that they're dad would not have any objections to me seeing them if I chose to do so.
It hasn't been too long since I've seen those two. My dad used to voluntarily take them one weekend of the month as a way for him to stay connected, and for my brother and I to have an opportunity to spend time with them. Unfortunately he doesn't do that any longer because his work schedule doesn't permit and he admittedly said "I do not have the energy anymore to keep up with two boys that are 6 years old", which I totally understand.
So, in short I guess, there is really only one of her kids that is out of my life and will probably continue to be.
Wow, the way you described the relationship between you and the oldest son is very heart warming..it actually brought me to tears! He is lucky to have you as his uncle!
I lost my sister in '06. I still think about her everyday. Sometimes good memories sometimes sad ones.
I was looking after her for the last 3 months and the only fours day I got off in that time was four PJ concerts.
I sat down in my seat for the first night with heavy heart not knowing how I was going to enjoy the shows with everything that was going on. Out come the band and went straight in Release. I was simmering with emotion until Ed started screaming RELEASE ME!! and it all came flooding out.
Needless to say they were four incredible gigs finishing with the now famous Newcastle '06 gig and I was all gased up and ready for what lay ahead.
Happy Birthday Nicole. I hope you have met Annie and you have had dance or two for us.
Beautiful post, and I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. As you can tell, I feel that I can relate. Especially with the PJ moment.
The moment I had back in Chicago in 2009 when my girlfriend and I attended the August 23rd show was something I had never experienced, and most likely won't again. It was truly one of the most amazing moments in my life. I have never felt such an emotionally powerful, and personally spiritual moment like I did that night. The moment they played the first chords of 'Long Road' I raised my beer and said "this is for you, Nic."
'Come Back' was the emotional threshold for me. I was a wreck. It didn't help that Jeff obviously had an emotional connection to that performance that night with his friend Mike Richter (who is the man on the shows poster).
My dream was that my sister and I would see a Pearl Jam show together as she really did enjoy the band and on the whole, the collection of 90's alternative. Alice In Chains was one of her most beloved bands, and I remember always asking her to tell me about the time she saw Tool and Soundgarden in the same week in 96. It never came true, but that was the closest I got, and to me... it was just a perfect as I imagined it would be.
I imagine you were close to your sister. I don't know how much of an influence she was on you, or whether she was older or younger, but for me... I am constantly thinking "I wish my big sister could see what I've become." I am sure in one way or another you feel the same way, as does probably anyone that's lost someone who they loved so dearly.
Thanks for your post. Your story was really touching.
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Beautiful post, and I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. As you can tell, I feel that I can relate. Especially with the PJ moment.
The moment I had back in Chicago in 2009 when my girlfriend and I attended the August 23rd show was something I had never experienced, and most likely won't again. It was truly one of the most amazing moments in my life. I have never felt such an emotionally powerful, and personally spiritual moment like I did that night. The moment they played the first chords of 'Long Road' I raised my beer and said "this is for you, Nic."
'Come Back' was the emotional threshold for me. I was a wreck. It didn't help that Jeff obviously had an emotional connection to that performance that night with his friend Mike Richter (who is the man on the shows poster).
My dream was that my sister and I would see a Pearl Jam show together as she really did enjoy the band and on the whole, the collection of 90's alternative. Alice In Chains was one of her most beloved bands, and I remember always asking her to tell me about the time she saw Tool and Soundgarden in the same week in 96. It never came true, but that was the closest I got, and to me... it was just a perfect as I imagined it would be.
I imagine you were close to your sister. I don't know how much of an influence she was on you, or whether she was older or younger, but for me... I am constantly thinking "I wish my big sister could see what I've become." I am sure in one way or another you feel the same way, as does probably anyone that's lost someone who they loved so dearly.
Thanks for your post. Your story was really touching.
They did Comeback that first night as well and I had another moment then too.
She was my big sis. We were always close but spending the last 3 months with her brought us even closer. She is one of the reasons I love my music so much. Growing up there was always Bob Marley, Jimi Hendrix or Janis Joplin or groovey tunes coming from her room.
Little things make me sad at times. She never got to meet the girl I'm with now and see how happy she makes me. She's not around to give her 3 boys a kick up the backside when they need it. She didn't get to see her twin boys get their lives together after 25 years addictions and fooliness.
But thanks to getting to know her so well Ithink I know what she'd say and how proud she'd be of them and I thats basically what I try to tell then.
Her 18 year old son is tagging along with us to Missoula, Montana for his 2nd PJ show.
I fucking love this band.
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Her 18 year old son is tagging along with us to Missoula, Montana for his 2nd PJ show.
I fucking love this band.
awesome!!!
I am so pumped up.
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Her 18 year old son is tagging along with us to Missoula, Montana for his 2nd PJ show.
I fucking love this band.
I'm so fucking happy for you & specially for him damn i would pay just to meet you both enjoy the show man ...
Thanks Jose. We'll rock in your honor.
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Wow I had never seen this thread before.It brought tears to my eyes,with sadness for such loss for you dcfaithful but also with such joy at the relationship that has grown between you and your nephew.
Best of luck to you and all your family man.I hope your sister found her peace somewhere behind the sun.
“There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
Her 18 year old son is tagging along with us to Missoula, Montana for his 2nd PJ show.
I fucking love this band.
Her spirit may be with you at the show!
Awesome. I hope her son and you enjoy!
Got shut out of tickets, but there is still hope.
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Comments
How are her kids doing?
I was looking after her for the last 3 months and the only fours day I got off in that time was four PJ concerts.
I sat down in my seat for the first night with heavy heart not knowing how I was going to enjoy the shows with everything that was going on. Out come the band and went straight in Release. I was simmering with emotion until Ed started screaming RELEASE ME!! and it all came flooding out.
Needless to say they were four incredible gigs finishing with the now famous Newcastle '06 gig and I was all gased up and ready for what lay ahead.
Happy Birthday Nicole. I hope you have met Annie and you have had dance or two for us.
It's an interesting situation.
Her oldest son, who is coming up on 18 (I just realized that as I typed it.... wow. :shock: ) and I keep in regular contact. We're close, share things in common, and have kept a relationship all these years. It's funny, but because we're so close in age (I am 23, going on 24) I feel like his older brother. I think he feels the same way, but now that I think of it, it's never been spoken of. But, he still calls me "Uncle Dave" just as he's done all his life and it warms my heart every time. He's nearing the end of his high school career and will eventually have to move on to better things. I've done my best over the years, especially since his mother died, to be there for him and to provide as best of an example as I can. We've had talks about the tihngs that present themselves to teenagers and the dangerous paths that appear. I am very proud of him as he has a very good head on his shoulders. In his words, he "doesn't want to live the way his parents did". Which is dysfunctional, goal-less, and addicted. I hope he keeps that attitude. It's no doubt that coming from my sister's bloodline that he is vulnerable to addictions. We don't dance around the subject of his mom, and we almost always bring her up in a positive light when we spend time together. I think that when we spend time together, it is a very positive way of remembering her mother together. We do things in her honor, and we never forget her together.
I hope that I have done and am continuing to do a good job of being a respectable figure in his life. Knowing that I have been would bring me nothing but joy. When my sister was alive and I was younger, I often asked her about how she was going to teach him a variety of lessons, and she would tell me. I've wanted to carry on those ideas to him since she is not here to do it herself, so... I hope that I am making her proud as well.
Her second born and only daughter: To be honest... I have no idea where she resides with her father. Back in 2006 when I was living with my sister, her and her daughter's father were going through some real legality issues in terms of custody as he was looking to move out of the country with his new wife. I'm fairly certain she is still in the states, but no one in my family really has contact with her... and I truly feel like it will continue to deteriorate as I believe that her father chooses to distance her form her mother's family. So be it, I guess. Nevertheless, I miss her.
Her twin boys are under the care of their father, who I am in contact with via Facebook. I feel particularly good about this situation. Back in 2009, their father hit rock bottom and was incarcerated for a good amount of time. Since being released the guy has completely turned himself around. He has found religion, and is totally on the straight and narrow.
While I am not a religious guy, from an outside perspective, I only see this as a positive for those two young boys. They're being raised in a healthy (both mentally and physically), supportive, and loving environment. I predict that they'll grow up in an environment that is quite different that the one that I choose to live in, but I know that they're dad would not have any objections to me seeing them if I chose to do so.
It hasn't been too long since I've seen those two. My dad used to voluntarily take them one weekend of the month as a way for him to stay connected, and for my brother and I to have an opportunity to spend time with them. Unfortunately he doesn't do that any longer because his work schedule doesn't permit and he admittedly said "I do not have the energy anymore to keep up with two boys that are 6 years old", which I totally understand.
So, in short I guess, there is really only one of her kids that is out of my life and will probably continue to be.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
I love that this thread has been around too. I enjoy coming back here every year to honor her on her birthday, and really just whenever I am thinking about her and I need a place to express my feelings regarding it.
It's unfortunate that she was really only "in" my life for about 4 years, but she had such a monumental impact on me as a person in those 4 years, that I cannot go the rest of my life without holding her close to me. She truly resonates with now, and will for the rest of my life.
The main thing that I really get sad about is knowing that the kids that I know I'll eventually have will never be able to meet their aunt. My girlfriend, who actually met her once before she passed, still talks about how she is really disappointed that she couldn't know her more.
Such is life.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Wow, the way you described the relationship between you and the oldest son is very heart warming..it actually brought me to tears! He is lucky to have you as his uncle!
Beautiful post, and I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. As you can tell, I feel that I can relate. Especially with the PJ moment.
The moment I had back in Chicago in 2009 when my girlfriend and I attended the August 23rd show was something I had never experienced, and most likely won't again. It was truly one of the most amazing moments in my life. I have never felt such an emotionally powerful, and personally spiritual moment like I did that night. The moment they played the first chords of 'Long Road' I raised my beer and said "this is for you, Nic."
'Come Back' was the emotional threshold for me. I was a wreck. It didn't help that Jeff obviously had an emotional connection to that performance that night with his friend Mike Richter (who is the man on the shows poster).
My dream was that my sister and I would see a Pearl Jam show together as she really did enjoy the band and on the whole, the collection of 90's alternative. Alice In Chains was one of her most beloved bands, and I remember always asking her to tell me about the time she saw Tool and Soundgarden in the same week in 96. It never came true, but that was the closest I got, and to me... it was just a perfect as I imagined it would be.
I imagine you were close to your sister. I don't know how much of an influence she was on you, or whether she was older or younger, but for me... I am constantly thinking "I wish my big sister could see what I've become." I am sure in one way or another you feel the same way, as does probably anyone that's lost someone who they loved so dearly.
Thanks for your post. Your story was really touching.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
They did Comeback that first night as well and I had another moment then too.
She was my big sis. We were always close but spending the last 3 months with her brought us even closer. She is one of the reasons I love my music so much. Growing up there was always Bob Marley, Jimi Hendrix or Janis Joplin or groovey tunes coming from her room.
Little things make me sad at times. She never got to meet the girl I'm with now and see how happy she makes me. She's not around to give her 3 boys a kick up the backside when they need it. She didn't get to see her twin boys get their lives together after 25 years addictions and fooliness.
But thanks to getting to know her so well Ithink I know what she'd say and how proud she'd be of them and I thats basically what I try to tell then.
Beautiful thread.
I fucking love this band.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
awesome!!!
I am so pumped up.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
I'm so fucking happy for you & specially for him damn i would pay just to meet you both enjoy the show man ...
Thanks Jose. We'll rock in your honor.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
I know you will Bro i know you will
Best of luck to you and all your family man.I hope your sister found her peace somewhere behind the sun.
Her spirit may be with you at the show!
Awesome. I hope her son and you enjoy!
Got shut out of tickets, but there is still hope.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2