Short Autobiography

soulsinging

Ahnimus wrote:

That's probably true. However, my personal experience was not a deciding factor in my recognition of determinism. Just as, attending church as a child, did not determine my being an atheist.

i dont belive this for a second. you do make a lot more sense now though.

Ahnimus

soulsinging wrote:

that answers nothing. you apparently moved and met a nice girl and suddenly everything was magically better?

That's part of it. Have you ever experienced anything as I've described?

soulsinging

Ahnimus wrote:

What I thought 12 years ago and what I think now are completely different.

No, my crimes were not justified, they were determined.

so what were these crimes? how many people did you rape and kill?

Ahnimus

soulsinging wrote:

i dont belive this for a second. you do make a lot more sense now though.

That's your loss, ultimately.

soulsinging

Ahnimus wrote:

That's part of it. Have you ever experienced anything as I've described?

certain parts. though i dont see how nailing your probation officer makes you a better person.

Ahnimus

soulsinging wrote:

so what were these crimes? how many people did you rape and kill?

None.

Though you are going to take these admissions and twist them to your social advantage. I'm not afraid to make them.

I was charged several times with assault with a deadly weapon, assault, uttering death threats, theft and mischeif. I was lucky not to be charged with assaulting an officer of the law.

Ahnimus

soulsinging wrote:

certain parts. though i dont see how nailing your probation officer makes you a better person.

Nailing my probation officer? What are you talking about?

No, I mean, have you ever had the shit kicked out of you every day of your life growing up? Have you ever been totally rejected from society for as long as you've been alive? Have you ever suffered brain damage?

soulsinging

Ahnimus wrote:

Nailing my probation officer? What are you talking about?

No, I mean, have you ever had the shit kicked out of you every day of your life growing up? Have you ever been totally rejected from society for as long as you've been alive? Have you ever suffered brain damage?

nope. nor would i presume to tell you how you ought to feel about it. but it does add some context to why you do the things you do. and it does make me question the sudden dramatic shift in your personality.

Ahnimus

soulsinging wrote:

nope. nor would i presume to tell you how you ought to feel about it. but it does add some context to why you do the things you do. and it does make me question the sudden dramatic shift in your personality.

Ok, well if you could understand what it's like. You would see how a different environment and a good relationship or two can make a huge difference.

But I think you just like being an asshole, asshole. Is that intelligent enough for you?

soulsinging

Ahnimus wrote:

Ok, well if you could understand what it's like. You would see how a different environment and a good relationship or two can make a huge difference.

But I think you just like being an asshole, asshole. Is that intelligent enough for you?

ah, so im incapable of knowing what it's like, but you're capable of understanding what everyone else's life is like?

ive been in jail. did you have to go? or did you skip town like a pussy?

Ahnimus

soulsinging wrote:

ah, so im incapable of knowing what it's like, but you're capable of understanding what everyone else's life is like?

ive been in jail. did you have to go? or did you skip town like a pussy?

For whatever reason you don't understand, plenty of other people do.

small town beck

Ahnimus wrote:

I've talked with my family quite extensively about this and I didn't have blackouts before the accident. It was pretty obvious to everyone but me that it has a major impact. It was debated whether I suffered amnesia, brain damage or just plain trauma. I think it was all 3.



I omitted it to save time

I had committed a crime that was sure to have me locked away for a while. I thought for sure I was going to get busted. My father had recently moved to another city, Victoria B.C. and asked if I wanted to move there. I really didn't want to, I felt that I had made progress in my home town. I felt that moving to Victoria would start it all over again. In the end I moved, I had taken care of a few things before I left. Some people that I needed revenge against. When I got to Victoria and met my new Probation Officer, she was really nice, unlike anyone I knew at the time. She gave me the benefit of the doubt. I spent most of my time at home for the next couple of years. Then I moved to Ontario with my Dad and things have been normal ever since.

As for the physiological aspects. Because my brain was injured while it was still developing, it was able to compensate for any loss of functionality. Over several years the blackouts just faded away, happening less and less often. They were triggered by psychological stress and so I imagine as life got better they faded as well. Only once since I moved to Ontario did I black out, and that was 8 years ago. It was the first time I ever danced with a girl, she was hot, and my cousin was laughing at me. I just snapped.

Was it not you who last night said that you were sickened by me for looking for revenge(which I never actually said) yet here you are talking about you seeking revenge?

http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=226204&page=29a
So if I am to understand this that your brain damage went away(which is a feat all of its own) and then a pretty girl danced with you and all your rage and problems went away? I mean that is just the Reader's Digest version. I guess we should just start getting pretty girls to dance with convicted murders and all would be solved. I am not saying that isn't shitty stuff that happened to you , Mr Frey but not everyone grew up like the Beave either.

I am glad you started your own thread though. Not that it has anything to do with your ego Now you can do your philosphy etc and do it all here without having to try inflame other posts.

'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln

Ahnimus

small town beck wrote:

Was it not you who last night said that you were sickened by me for looking for revenge(which I never actually said) yet here you are talking about you seeking revenge?

http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=226204&page=29a
So if I am to understand this that your brain damage went away(which is a feat all of its own) and then a pretty girl danced with you and all your rage and problems went away? I mean that is just the Reader's Digest version. I guess we should just start getting pretty girls to dance with convicted murders and all would be solved. I am not saying that isn't shitty stuff that happened to you , Mr Frey but not everyone grew up like the Beave either.

I am glad you started your own thread though. Not that it has anything to do with your ego Now you can do your philosphy etc and do it all here without having to try inflame other posts.

'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln

Yea, I guess that's how you could perceive it. I tend to go with the general idea of a post, instead of trying to inerpret tiny events individually. See, there are many details I did not mention. It's far too much to post on a forum. I guess it depends on if you are looking for understanding, or if you are looking for something to use as a weapon.

small town beck

Ahnimus wrote:

Yea, I guess that's how you could perceive it. I tend to go with the general idea of a post, instead of trying to inerpret tiny events individually. See, there are many details I did not mention. It's far too much to post on a forum. I guess it depends on if you are looking for understanding, or if you are looking for something to use as a weapon.

I am not looking for a weapon. I am just curious how your actual revenge is ok vs your interpretation of me seeking revenge? I want to understand that.. and please don't going into all that existentialism stuff.. just cut to the chase here. You are the only one that is allowed to seek revenge, the only one that sees the truth? How very omnipotent of you!!

and still no title for that paper yet? Well I certainly hope you give credit where credit is due.

Ahnimus

small town beck wrote:

I am not looking for a weapon. I am just curious how your actual revenge is ok vs your interpretation of me seeking revenge? I want to understand that.. and please don't going into all that existentialism stuff.. just cut to the chase here. You are the only one that is allowed to seek revenge, the only one that sees the truth? How very omnipotent of you!!

and still no title for that paper yet? Well I certainly hope you give credit where credit is due.

Title for a paper?

I'm talking about revenge I sought 12 years ago. It was a mistake!

small town beck

Ahnimus wrote:

Title for a paper?

I'm talking about revenge I sought 12 years ago. It was a mistake!

Well good for you in judging others that might have made the same mistake. Of course, usually you are jumping all over other people for making judgements but since you see and know all and understand this world in a broader scheme than the rest of us low brows could ever even imagine I guess that is your right :rolleyes:.

A couple of times I mentioned your paper for you sociology class that you might be writing on internet behaviour. A card carrying member of MENSA such as your self, I would have thought you would have gotten the joke(lame as it was )

I mean you have the prolific part down( but hey so does Danielle Steele) but maybe you want to work on the consistency factor

Ahnimus

small town beck wrote:

Well good for you in judging others that might have made the same mistake. Of course, usually you are jumping all over other people for making judgements but since you see and know all and understand this world in a broader scheme than the rest of us low brows could ever even imagine I guess that is your right :rolleyes:.

A couple of times I mentioned your paper for you sociology class that you might be writing on internet behaviour. A card carrying member of MENSA such as your self, I would have thought you would have gotten the joke(lame as it was )

I mean you have the prolific part down( but hey so does Danielle Steele) but maybe you want to work on the consistency factor

That's all in they eye of the beholder. Thanks for reminding me to renew my MENSA membership.

NMyTree

Ahnimus wrote:

You have no idea how I felt about my friend Marcus. As I said I immediately felt remorse. Why you assume that I have no empathy for the victims evades me. Do you want to view me as Soulsinging does? As a psychophath devoid of compassion for my victims? Is that what you want? That's not how it is, and no amount of you wanting that is going to make it true.

If you read what I said as a whole, instead of picking and choosing what you want to focus on; you'd know I did not say you felt no remorse. I simply said that it almost seems that way from your posts. I even made sure to say that that I wasn't saying that I think you definitely felt no remorse.

" No offense, but it almost seems like you have shown no remorse for your crimes and violence; only anger and frustration because you expect and want everyone else to be understanding and compasionate of your situation (not saying that's definitely the case, only that it seems that way from your posts)"

My previous post was not in any shape or form meant as an attack on you, an insult or an offense. It was simply me expanding on the concept of understanding and compassion to both sides.

soulsinging

NMyTree wrote:

If you read what I said as a whole, instead of picking and choosing what you want to focus on; you'd know I did not say you felt no remorse. I simply said that it almost seems that way from your posts. I even made sure to say that that I wasn't saying that I think you definitely felt no remorse.

he's incapable of understanding or expresssing emotion. which is why he tries so hard to supress it in himself, deny its existence, and invalidate its use in others.

soulsinging

Ahnimus wrote:

For whatever reason you don't understand, plenty of other people do.

nor would you know the actual effects of the jails you rail so strongly against. cos you skipped town being too cowardly to accept the consequences of your actions.