18 Ways To Become A Liberal

he still standshe still stands Posts: 2,835
edited March 2007 in A Moving Train
My opinion follows....

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on
demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens
are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands
of Iran or Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms
driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being
homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders
how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA
activists do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own
money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts
of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee,
and Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
charge.

17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens
and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger
scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast,
right-wing conspiracy.


WOW! What I find to be the most troubling about this is that the conservative-minded individual who authored it had the "ability" to group these topics in a simple to understand black and white manner. They are, no doubt, one of the people that marvel at our current Executive branch's ability. I guess in a conservative world this list is not an example of prejudice and misunderstanding, just the clear wisdom that comes with viewing Fox News, listening to Rush or O'Reilly and knowing that GWB is on track because he gets his advice "from a higher power".

While the conservatives who read it look up who “Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem" are (as if they would), maybe they can look up "ethnocentrism" too.

How is it that other nations are not kidnapping these great conservative minds and putting them to use? I guess we're lucky! The least these other nations should do is see the path, join the march to victory and salvation! Our mighty 231 year old country sure could teach these places a lesson or two!

Finally, only a conservative list would include the term "you have to" at the beginning of every statement! As a non-conservative, I know we promote individual thought!
Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • chopitdownchopitdown Posts: 2,222

    WOW! What I find to be the most troubling about this is that the conservative-minded individual who authored it had the "ability" to group these topics in a simple to understand black and white manner. They are, no doubt, one of the people that marvel at our current Executive branch's ability. I guess in a conservative world this list is not an example of prejudice and misunderstanding, just the clear wisdom that comes with viewing Fox News, listening to Rush or O'Reilly and knowing that GWB is on track because he gets his advice "from a higher power".

    While the conservatives who read it look up who “Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem" are (as if they would), maybe they can look up "ethnocentrism" too.

    Finally, only a conservative list would include the term "you have to" at the beginning of every statement! As a non-conservative, I know we promote individual thought!

    so you get upset at a conservative list making blanket statments like the above and then you make a blanket statement regarding conservative lists? [ only a conservative list would include the term "you have to" at the beginning of every statement! ] and [ ...“Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem" are (as if they would)] It find it funny that you're upset about stereotyping of liberals then you do the exact same thing to conservatives.
    make sure the fortune that you seek...is the fortune that you need
  • chopitdown wrote:
    so you get upset at a conservative list making blanket statments like the above and then you make a blanket statement regarding conservative lists? [ only a conservative list would include the term "you have to" at the beginning of every statement! ] and [ ...“Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem" are (as if they would)] It find it funny that you're upset about stereotyping of liberals then you do the exact same thing to conservatives.

    Very nice.
  • Finally, only a conservative list would include the term "you have to" at the beginning of every statement! As a non-conservative, I know we promote individual thought!

    That is until you pass laws against what comes out of it ;)
  • chopitdown wrote:
    It find it funny that you're upset about stereotyping of liberals then you do the exact same thing to conservatives.

    Yes, I'm aware I stereotyped conservatives... but why not? Why do I have to be moderate and open-minded when I myself am stereotyped and misunderstood? Yes, I can be the bigger man, but hey, its Tuesday.

    Listen, I just thought it would make myself feel better to point out that this email I received today - from a coworker nonetheless- was so rife with miSconceptions of what a progressive thinker is. This thread isn't supposed to be a fucking formal statement to conservatives.... so LIGHTEN UP BITCH!
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • Yes, I'm aware I stereotyped conservatives... but why not? Why do I have to be moderate and open-minded when I myself am stereotyped and misunderstood? Yes, I can be the bigger man, but hey, its Tuesday.

    Listen, I just thought it would make myself feel better to point out that this email I received today - from a coworker nonetheless- was so rife with miSconceptions of what a progressive thinker is. This thread isn't supposed to be a fucking formal statement to conservatives.... so LIGHTEN UP BITCH!

    Hehe...I can hear the moral high ground giving way.

    Onward soldier!
  • chopitdownchopitdown Posts: 2,222
    Yes, I'm aware I stereotyped conservatives... but why not? Why do I have to be moderate and open-minded when I myself am stereotyped and misunderstood? Yes, I can be the bigger man, but hey, its Tuesday.

    Listen, I just thought it would make myself feel better to point out that this email I received today - from a coworker nonetheless- was so rife with miSconceptions of what a progressive thinker is. This thread isn't supposed to be a fucking formal statement to conservatives.... so LIGHTEN UP BITCH!

    life is full of misconceptions and irony. Thanks for the laugh man.

    dont make me send Jules after you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQod5e4IVh4

    ;)
    make sure the fortune that you seek...is the fortune that you need
  • Alex_CoeAlex_Coe Posts: 762
    This thread makes me LMAO. (That's a good thing.)
  • AbuskedtiAbuskedti Posts: 1,917
    Ah, look at all the lonely people
  • Someone was clearly offended here.
    "Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive"

    "What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."

    Camden 5-28-06
    Washington, D.C. 6-22-08
  • Someone was clearly offended here.
    who?
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • who?


    Someone?
    "Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive"

    "What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."

    Camden 5-28-06
    Washington, D.C. 6-22-08
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    Liberal is apparently defined by conservatives as anything that is not conservative. That makes just about everyone liberal.

    If you are for the war in Iraq, against gay marriage, against gun control, but pro-choice. Then you are a liberal.

    Conservatism is very dogmatic.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • Ahnimus wrote:
    Liberal is apparently defined by conservatives as anything that is not conservative. That makes just about everyone liberal.

    If you are for the war in Iraq, against gay marriage, against gun control, but pro-choice. Then you are a liberal.

    Conservatism is very dogmatic.

    You are completely wrong.
    "Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive"

    "What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."

    Camden 5-28-06
    Washington, D.C. 6-22-08
  • chopitdownchopitdown Posts: 2,222
    You are completely wrong.

    well played
    make sure the fortune that you seek...is the fortune that you need
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    You are completely wrong.
    An alternative definition of liberal is anything that is not conservative. For example, the American Heritage Dictionary includes this definition of "liberal":[5]

    Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas ...

    The "..." is actually "Not bigoted" in the American Heritage Dictionary.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • Ahnimus wrote:
    The "..." is actually "Not bigoted" in the American Heritage Dictionary.

    You're still completely wrong. Conservapedia is completely wrong. Don't waste your time quoting anything else.
    "Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive"

    "What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."

    Camden 5-28-06
    Washington, D.C. 6-22-08
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    You're still completely wrong. Conservapedia is completely wrong. Don't waste your time quoting anything else.

    Oh wait, does this mean you are God. So very nice to meet you God. Since you are omniscient, can you tell me what the term is for 10^100?

    I'd also like to know; How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • You're still completely wrong. Conservapedia is completely wrong. Don't waste your time quoting anything else.

    Did you download a virus into your logic circuits?
  • Ahnimus wrote:
    Oh wait, does this mean you are God. So very nice to meet you God. Since you are omniscient, can you tell me what the term is for 10^100?

    I'd also like to know; How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

    Yep, this is what it usually comes to.
    "Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive"

    "What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."

    Camden 5-28-06
    Washington, D.C. 6-22-08
  • Did you download a virus into your logic circuits?


    George Lopez!?
    "Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive"

    "What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."

    Camden 5-28-06
    Washington, D.C. 6-22-08
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    Yep, this is what it usually comes to.

    So, I guess you aren't God.

    The answer to 10^100 is a Googolplex

    A woodchuck could chuck 71 butt-cords of wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

    Your statement appears to try to diffuse my direct questioning of the discussion. You seem to want to only stifle any debate of the topic.

    Or maybe it's a question only of how many times you can post useless hollow comments before being considered a troll.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • prismprism Posts: 2,440
    Ahnimus wrote:
    Oh wait, does this mean you are God. So very nice to meet you God. Since you are omniscient, can you tell me what the term is for 10^100?

    I'd also like to know; How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?


    hahahahahaha :)
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    angels share laughter
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • Ahnimus wrote:
    The answer to 10^100 is a Googolplex

    10^100 is called googol.

    A googolplex is 10^10^100.
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    10^100 is called googol.

    A googolplex is 10^10^100.

    Did you look that up on Conservapedia?

    You are correct, but I have a feeling you didn't really know that. So I still don't think you are God.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    is THAT the liberal platform? fuck, NOW what do i do?

    i think my issue with conservatives as they're too "glass if half empty" whereas the liberals are more "glass is half full," and im really trying to be an optimist. but the conservatives look for differences, the liberals for similarities. liberals are like "so, you're gay? well hey, we all still like sex right? high five!" whereas the conservatives are more: "you're not gay? ok. hate terrorists? ok. love america? check. you want comprehensive sex ed taught to HIGH SCHOOLERS? i knew you were an evil pinko god-hating, baby-murdering liberal!"
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    is THAT the liberal platform? fuck, NOW what do i do?

    i think my issue with conservatives as they're too "glass if half empty" whereas the liberals are more "glass is half full," and im really trying to be an optimist. but the conservatives look for differences, the liberals for similarities. liberals are like "so, you're gay? well hey, we all still like sex right? high five!" whereas the conservatives are more: "you're not gay? ok. hate terrorists? ok. love america? check. you want comprehensive sex ed taught to HIGH SCHOOLERS? i knew you were an evil pinko god-hating, baby-murdering liberal!"

    Haha, man I like that. Good dramatization ;)
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • My opinion follows....

    1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on
    demand.

    2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
    create prosperity.

    3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens
    are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands
    of Iran or Chinese and North Korean communists.

    4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.

    5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
    cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms
    driving SUV's.

    6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being
    homosexual is natural.

    7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
    federal funding.

    8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders
    how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

    9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA
    activists do.

    10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
    doing something to earn it.

    11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own
    money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.

    12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts
    of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain
    parts of the Constitution.

    13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
    high.

    14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
    important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee,
    and Thomas Edison.

    15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
    quotas and set-asides are not.

    16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
    anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
    charge.

    17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens
    and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger
    scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

    18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast,
    right-wing conspiracy.


    WOW! What I find to be the most troubling about this is that the conservative-minded individual who authored it had the "ability" to group these topics in a simple to understand black and white manner. They are, no doubt, one of the people that marvel at our current Executive branch's ability. I guess in a conservative world this list is not an example of prejudice and misunderstanding, just the clear wisdom that comes with viewing Fox News, listening to Rush or O'Reilly and knowing that GWB is on track because he gets his advice "from a higher power".

    While the conservatives who read it look up who “Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem" are (as if they would), maybe they can look up "ethnocentrism" too.

    How is it that other nations are not kidnapping these great conservative minds and putting them to use? I guess we're lucky! The least these other nations should do is see the path, join the march to victory and salvation! Our mighty 231 year old country sure could teach these places a lesson or two!

    Finally, only a conservative list would include the term "you have to" at the beginning of every statement! As a non-conservative, I know we promote individual thought!

    I didn't know the VP was a PJ fan.
    one foot in the door
    the other foot in the gutter
    sweet smell that they adore
    I think I'd rather smother
    -The Replacements-
  • Ahnimus wrote:
    Did you look that up on Conservapedia?

    No, and if I had I wouldn't really have put much stock into that agenda-driven site's presentation of "objective fact".
    You are correct, but I have a feeling you didn't really know that.

    I have a feeling you're wrong.
    So I still don't think you are God.

    Me neither.
  • Ahnimus wrote:
    So, I guess you aren't God.

    The answer to 10^100 is a Googolplex

    A woodchuck could chuck 71 butt-cords of wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

    Your statement appears to try to diffuse my direct questioning of the discussion. You seem to want to only stifle any debate of the topic.

    Or maybe it's a question only of how many times you can post useless hollow comments before being considered a troll.

    My statement merely suggested that you're a lamebrain ideologue. Did I say it? No. That would only achieve banishment back to the land of reality for the next 24 hours. And really, who wants that? I did you a fucking service diffusing your 2nd grade understanding of the American political system before you baffled even yourself. Thus, lamebrain statements deserve useless, hollow comments.

    So as I said very effectively in a prior post, you were, and still are, completely wrong. Nothing more needs to be said. If that makes me a troll then I have no other choice. God isn't even real. Even liberals know that. Oh wait...
    "Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive"

    "What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."

    Camden 5-28-06
    Washington, D.C. 6-22-08
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    My statement merely suggested that you're a lamebrain ideologue. Did I say it? No. That would only achieve banishment back to the land of reality for the next 24 hours. And really, who wants that? I did you a fucking service diffusing your 2nd grade understanding of the American political system before you baffled even yourself. Thus, lamebrain statements deserve useless, hollow comments.

    So as I said very effectively in a prior post, you were, and still are, completely wrong. Nothing more needs to be said. If that makes me a troll then I have no other choice. God isn't even real. Even liberals know that. Oh wait...

    You didn't diffuse anything. If anything your statements only escalate and polarize. All you said was "You are wrong" if I can extrapolate a value from that, I'd say it's null.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
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