my letter to the irs

farfromglorifiedfarfromglorified Posts: 5,696
edited February 2007 in A Moving Train
I had to call the IRS this morning and needed to entertain myself in the meantime. So I decided to write them a letter.


+
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To Whom It May Concern,

I recently used the IRS phone system to remediate a problem with a recent tax filing. The person I spoke to about my problem was very nice and was a big help. However, I did have to remain on hold before speaking to them. I believe the total hold time was close to an hour.

Now, I completely understand and am sympathetic to the volumes you are experiencing during this time of year. Furthermore, I don't even really mind holding. The music provided on the hold system was very pleasant, and my phone has a speaker on it so my hands and ears were completely free to do other things while I waited for a representative.

However, much to my dismay, an automated voice continued to break into the music to say: "Our representatives are still helping other customers." This indirectly implies that I am also a customer. I am not a customer. A customer is someone who purchases goods or services from another. I am not purchasing goods or services from you. Rather, you are simply demanding a certain amount of payment from me unattached to the goods and services I receive. If I received no goods or services from you, you would still demand the same payment. Furthermore, if I received more goods or services from you than that payment allotted for, you would not require additional payment.

Later on today, I'll be going to my local grocery store. There, I'll select a number of items that I wish to buy and I'll give money to the owner of that grocery store in exchange for those items. If I chose to keep my money, the grocery store owner would keep his groceries and we'd both go on our merry way. Notice how in this relationship both myself and the grocery store are willing partners who are allowed to assess the value of one another's contribution to the exchange. I'm allowed to determine if, in fact, the groceries are worth the price charged and he is allowed to determine if, in fact, the money I'll be providing is worth the groceries offered. If the owner of the grocery store forced me to take a pack of gum, for which he physically removed $1,000 from my wallet, would you still refer to me as a "customer"? Or if I filled my shopping cart and proceeded to rob the clerks in the store on my way out, would you still refer to me as a "customer"? I certainly hope not.

So, I'd appreciate it very much if you would change the automated message on your hold system to something more appropriate, such as:

"Our representatives are still helping other victims and looters."

Or even this:

"Our representatives are still helping other human beings."

But please don't refer to me as a "customer".

Sincerely,

-Jeff XXXXXXX
XXX-XX-XXXX
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • mammasanmammasan Posts: 5,656
    That is great. God how I dream for the day when April 15th will be just another regular day.
    "When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
  • wolfbearwolfbear Posts: 3,965
    LMAO. So, are you mailing it? :)
    "I'd rather be with an animal." "Those that can be trusted can change their mind." "The in between is mine." "If I don't lose control, explore and not explode, a preternatural other plane with the power to maintain." "Yeh this is living." "Life is what you make it."
  • CollinCollin Posts: 4,931
    If they ever reply, let us know please.
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


    naděje umírá poslední
  • I submitted it through their website:

    http://www.irs.gov/help/page/0,,id=13148,00.html
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    dear jeff,

    we are sorry you had difficulty in dealing with our automated phone system. this is a busy time of the year for the irs and we strive to be as efficient and helpful to all our customers as we can. we appreciate your feedback and will take your concerns under consideration.

    love,
    the irs


    there's your form letter reply. id be shocked if anyone at the irs even read this crap, esp when they have people with REAL problems writing them. but thanks for wasting their time and slowing response time down for everyone else out there with legitimate tax problems.
  • Collin wrote:
    If they ever reply, let us know please.

    Hehe...I'm not expecting a reply.
  • jlew24asujlew24asu Posts: 10,118
    dear jeff,

    we are sorry you had difficulty in dealing with our automated phone system. this is a busy time of the year for the irs and we strive to be as efficient and helpful to all of the people who are forced to pay us. we appreciate your feedback and will take your concerns under consideration.

    love,
    the irs


    there's your form letter reply. id be shocked if anyone at the irs even read this crap, esp when they have people with REAL problems writing them. but thanks for wasting their time and slowing response time down for everyone else out there with legitimate tax problems.


    I made the proper correction for you
  • there's your form letter reply. id be shocked if anyone at the irs even read this crap, esp when they have people with REAL problems writing them. but thanks for wasting their time and slowing response time down for everyone else out there with legitimate tax problems.

    Hehe...
  • My God, are you about to get audited ...
    everybody wants the most they can possibly get
    for the least they could possibly do
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    jlew24asu wrote:
    I made the proper correction for you

    ffg already covered that part buddy. be original. i was just pointing out how futile and pointless it was and how no amount of whining by the likes of you is going to change a goddamn thing about the irs.
  • floyd1975floyd1975 Posts: 1,350
    legitimate tax problems.

    The only real legitimate tax problem is the fact that we are forced to pay so damn much for so damn much waste.
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    zstillings wrote:
    The only real legitimate tax problem is the fact that we are forced to pay so damn much for so damn much waste.

    ill take that over jailtime for shortchanging becos nobody can make any damn sense of the tax code any day of the week.
  • My God, are you about to get audited ...

    Now why would anyone need to audit their "customer"???
  • we don't have enough say in how are taxes are allocated. i do not like to pay taxes. if i knew the majority of it was going for something worthwhile, then i wouldn't mind as much. it is very burdensome when i work 25 hours a week, but don't receive a paycheck b/c of health insurance and taxes. i am a bartender, which i know is partially the reason because of my tip claiming. it's just not fair to the college student who has to work. and i get most of them back. it is a waste of time.
    you're a real hooker. im gonna slap you in public.
    ~Ron Burgundy
  • jlew24asujlew24asu Posts: 10,118
    ffg already covered that part buddy. be original. i was just pointing out how futile and pointless it was and how no amount of whining by the likes of you is going to change a goddamn thing about the irs.

    maybe one day when you get a job or even better start your own business, you will understand the grip of handing over so much of your hard earned money.
  • chopitdownchopitdown Posts: 2,222
    you don't pay taxes...they take taxes. - Chris Rock
    make sure the fortune that you seek...is the fortune that you need
  • floyd1975floyd1975 Posts: 1,350
    we don't have enough say in how are taxes are allocated. i do not like to pay taxes. if i knew the majority of it was going for something worthwhile, then i wouldn't mind as much. it is very burdensome when i work 25 hours a week, but don't receive a paycheck b/c of health insurance and taxes. i am a bartender, which i know is partially the reason because of my tip claiming. it's just not fair to the college student who has to work. and i get most of them back. it is a waste of time.

    Do you notice that they don't pay you interest? You would owe a shitload of interest if you paid them a day late.
  • chopitdown wrote:
    you don't pay taxes...they take taxes. - Chris Rock

    don't be coming to me all late like a crackhead ... "I need some mo money."
    everybody wants the most they can possibly get
    for the least they could possibly do
  • AbuskedtiAbuskedti Posts: 1,917
    I had to call the IRS this morning and needed to entertain myself in the meantime. So I decided to write them a letter.


    +
    +
    To Whom It May Concern,

    I recently used the IRS phone system to remediate a problem with a recent tax filing. The person I spoke to about my problem was very nice and was a big help. However, I did have to remain on hold before speaking to them. I believe the total hold time was close to an hour.

    Now, I completely understand and am sympathetic to the volumes you are experiencing during this time of year. Furthermore, I don't even really mind holding. The music provided on the hold system was very pleasant, and my phone has a speaker on it so my hands and ears were completely free to do other things while I waited for a representative.

    However, much to my dismay, an automated voice continued to break into the music to say: "Our representatives are still helping other customers." This indirectly implies that I am also a customer. I am not a customer. A customer is someone who purchases goods or services from another. I am not purchasing goods or services from you. Rather, you are simply demanding a certain amount of payment from me unattached to the goods and services I receive. If I received no goods or services from you, you would still demand the same payment. Furthermore, if I received more goods or services from you than that payment allotted for, you would not require additional payment.

    Later on today, I'll be going to my local grocery store. There, I'll select a number of items that I wish to buy and I'll give money to the owner of that grocery store in exchange for those items. If I chose to keep my money, the grocery store owner would keep his groceries and we'd both go on our merry way. Notice how in this relationship both myself and the grocery store are willing partners who are allowed to assess the value of one another's contribution to the exchange. I'm allowed to determine if, in fact, the groceries are worth the price charged and he is allowed to determine if, in fact, the money I'll be providing is worth the groceries offered. If the owner of the grocery store forced me to take a pack of gum, for which he physically removed $1,000 from my wallet, would you still refer to me as a "customer"? Or if I filled my shopping cart and proceeded to rob the clerks in the store on my way out, would you still refer to me as a "customer"? I certainly hope not.

    So, I'd appreciate it very much if you would change the automated message on your hold system to something more appropriate, such as:

    "Our representatives are still helping other victims and looters."

    Or even this:

    "Our representatives are still helping other human beings."

    But please don't refer to me as a "customer".

    Sincerely,

    -Jeff XXXXXXX
    XXX-XX-XXXX

    Actually you were seeking service from the IRS to help remediate your problems - in fact they provided this service to you at no additional cost.
  • zstillings wrote:
    Do you notice that they don't pay you interest? You would owe a shitload of interest if you paid them a day late.

    Amen...the tax "refund" is such a scam. I don't understand why people want it -- you're paying them to effectively bury your money and then dig it up a few months later.

    I talked to a friend of mine last night and she was all excited that she was getting a $1,200 "refund". I asked her if I could borrow $100 and then just give it back to her six months from now. She didn't get it.........
  • Abuskedti wrote:
    Actually you were seeking service from the IRS to help remediate your problems - in fact they provided this service to you at no additional cost.

    Hehe...it wasn't "my" problem. I received a notice to contact them, and I did. The cost to me was a wasted hour. But in all fairness to them, I would have probably wasted that hour elsewhere.
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    jlew24asu wrote:
    maybe one day when you get a job or even better start your own business, you will understand the grip of handing over so much of your hard earned money.

    im going to be in the higest tax bracket most likely. im not overly worried about it. i dont feel the need to have a lot of bling and show off my income and even after taxes i should have plenty to meet my needs. if you're feeling squeezed by your income taxes then maybe you need to look at your budget again and try living within your means.
  • jeffbrjeffbr Seattle Posts: 7,177
    Nice letter, FFG. Unfortunately, it was probably more cathartic than anything. Most of the people reading those letters will be low grade federal employees who don't really care. They're just there for the paycheck and the federal govt benefits. If they happen to take it to a supervisor, it will be some mid grade manager who will sound just like Soulsinging. It will likely be someone bitter that they have an education but couldn't adapt to a competitive marketplace, so they sought sanctuary in a sector where they will be rewarded merely for breathing in and out, and not thinking too much or rocking the boat.

    I agree completely with the sentiments you expressed in the letter.
    "I'll use the magic word - let's just shut the fuck up, please." EV, 04/13/08
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    we don't have enough say in how are taxes are allocated. i do not like to pay taxes. if i knew the majority of it was going for something worthwhile, then i wouldn't mind as much. it is very burdensome when i work 25 hours a week, but don't receive a paycheck b/c of health insurance and taxes. i am a bartender, which i know is partially the reason because of my tip claiming. it's just not fair to the college student who has to work. and i get most of them back. it is a waste of time.

    that's why you underdeclare your tips ;)
  • Pacomc79Pacomc79 Posts: 9,404
    ill take that over jailtime for shortchanging becos nobody can make any damn sense of the tax code any day of the week.


    the above is why I can't get behind a flat tax. The gigantic tax code we have today is the bastard child of 1985's flat tax.

    Just another reason I support the Fair Tax.
    My Girlfriend said to me..."How many guitars do you need?" and I replied...."How many pairs of shoes do you need?" She got really quiet.
  • jeffbrjeffbr Seattle Posts: 7,177
    Abuskedti wrote:
    in fact they provided this service to you at no additional cost.

    You pay that cost every single goddam day. Why do people think they receive services at no cost? That is ass-backward thinking. Jesus Christ.
    "I'll use the magic word - let's just shut the fuck up, please." EV, 04/13/08
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    jeffbr wrote:
    Nice letter, FFG. Unfortunately, it was probably more cathartic than anything. Most of the people reading those letters will be low grade federal employees who don't really care. They're just there for the paycheck and the federal govt benefits. If they happen to take it to a supervisor, it will be some mid grade manager who will sound just like Soulsinging. It will likely be someone bitter that they have an education but couldn't adapt to a competitive marketplace, so they sought sanctuary in a sector where they will be rewarded merely for breathing in and out, and not thinking too much or rocking the boat.

    I agree completely with the sentiments you expressed in the letter.

    rocking the boat? what power does any irs employee have to change the tax system? i believe that responsibility is congress's job. if im working at the irs, i wouldnt give a fuck about your tax philosophies either... write your congressperson, cos the irs cant do a damn thing about it and you're wasting their time.

    id also like to see your "marketplace" where everyone is a boss and nobody is a worker. your "educated competitive marketplace" folks would be useless and worthless without laborers to actually do your work for you.
  • jeffbrjeffbr Seattle Posts: 7,177
    rocking the boat? what power does any irs employee have to change the tax system? i believe that responsibility is congress's job. if im working at the irs, i wouldnt give a fuck about your tax philosophies either... write your congressperson, cos the irs cant do a damn thing about it and you're wasting their time.

    What power does any employee have to change anything about their job? What power does any person have to change anything about their life?
    "I'll use the magic word - let's just shut the fuck up, please." EV, 04/13/08
  • jeffbr wrote:
    Nice letter, FFG. Unfortunately, it was probably more cathartic than anything. Most of the people reading those letters will be low grade federal employees who don't really care. They're just there for the paycheck and the federal govt benefits. If they happen to take it to a supervisor, it will be some mid grade manager who will sound just like Soulsinging. It will likely be someone bitter that they have an education but couldn't adapt to a competitive marketplace, so they sought sanctuary in a sector where they will be rewarded merely for breathing in and out, and not thinking too much or rocking the boat.

    I agree completely with the sentiments you expressed in the letter.

    For the record I'm not so delusional to believe this letter will accomplish anything other than giving myself and maybe a few people some laughs.
  • jeffbrjeffbr Seattle Posts: 7,177
    id also like to see your "marketplace" where everyone is a boss and nobody is a worker. your "educated competitive marketplace" folks would be useless and worthless without laborers to actually do your work for you.

    It sounds like your ideal "worker" would be someone that simply follows the rules.

    People I hire, no matter the job, need to be able to think on their feet, respond to changing conditions, seek ways of doing things more efficiently and effectively, take instruction, but also provide feedback.

    Your philosophy is the ideal for a gov't manager. Mine is ideal for an entrepreneur.
    "I'll use the magic word - let's just shut the fuck up, please." EV, 04/13/08
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