Setaside's Poetry.... if you like...

tenaciousA

say yer prayers boi, and start dredgin up whatever kata you may remember

it's party time
and i SO got the clock

:P

tenaciousA

oh

and you have email



now get the $%^k away from me

Buru

ok, I'm starting at the beginning, will probably go a few at a time

Just want to say you write beautifully, "ISLE/future holdings" was a great read, and a very visual prose piece, also liked your references to time, the feel of the calm after the storm, the breaking of the new day

I also really liked the one about the girl/father and paper planes
the final verses:

Folded by shaking hands
Into yet another paper airplane
Shy and slight
Made in the image of its creator
It flew as predicted.


Buru.

Buru

I loved your ballerina poem
so beautiful and tragic, if those two can go together
vulnerable... I guess that is the word I want
or exposed

Do you think the world crucifies the persons who show their fragility? And the butterfly reference is brilliant ofcourse

damn! I wish I had started reading your stuff sooner
but I'm quite new to this forum so there's my excuse

Buru

KLEENEX & BUCKSHOT/midnight oil -- another good read

it was very acid, sarcastic
the games of love...

these parts are the ones I liked the most

And the city at night...
One doesn’t look for the moon.
Your stars are made of neon glass.
Fluorescent lights point north.
To be homeward bound
Costs $2.50 a mile,
And to fall in love can cost you
Fifty
Dollars
An hour.
For most people it’s a fair deal.
[...]

In love the pen and the sword
Are equals.
And that kills me.
And for that she dies.
For the fact that I still bleed
She dies.
[...]

The blood is at my feet.
The neon flickers a dull red...
And apology is the only weapon with which
I can aim.
Back me up if I end up firing blanks.


Very good ending!!

setaside2

Buru!

I must bow to you and your endless and most infinite patience (and might I also add: good taste).

You will find that Paper Airplane was posted unfinished. People have liked both versions, though the shorter version was posted by accident LOL.

The finished version is elsewhere in this thread.

Soon you will know the impertinence and garrulousness that this forum has had to endure from me.

wishing you well madam.

seta

tenaciousA

a challenge to he so set aside too


step out of the paradigm
bar the words "so" and "free"
and compress your cowabungas
to five or six lines

dare ya :D:D:D:D

setaside2

Challenge accepted tenA....

however while it won't surprise a SOUL, it must be known that I have never had a poem 5 or 6 lines long. It's like giving me this little box to live in. I tend to punch out of such boxes.

And, in just a little bit, the last poem shall be edited to remove 80% of the so's from said message/prose/pome/missive.

blah. hope you're happy ya tyrant.

and you're ass kickin's are now up to 6.

they are SO up to 6.

but I'll see what I can and cannot do under the smaller roof and in the confines of actual structure. You all know that, in general, my mottos is FUCK STRUCTURE, though there really is a lot of structure to my stuff it is SO FREE. LOL.

see you sooooooooooon.

seta

P.S. I really don't think I abuse the word free, now that I ponder it... but we'll do as asked...

tenaciousA

enjoy the box mr.2




















perhaps one day you'll learn to fight your way outta one...


(asskickin's my ASS)

sultryevening

now thats fighting talk where i come from!

tenaciousA

oh yeah, sultry...


ain't speaking chinese here

sultryevening

this droids a fiesty one!

tenaciousA

droid huh????

setaside2

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

PERHAPS, miss tenaciousAAAAAAAAAA

if your PARTICULAR box wasn't so stretched and overused <COUGH AHEM COUGH> I'd be able to find my way around... let alone fight my way out...

wait... are these my car keys?

LOL!!!!!

master sultry... she's a machine. but one with no timing and one that takes a few days to return a sling or two hee hee.

her daughter kicks her ass on a regular basis. which is as it should be, of course.

allll talk voice box on the rocks squawkin bout her socks and various locks upon her pants. Shock upon shock when she throws the swing and I begin to move again; her world tilts sideways and suddenly the carpet feels so soothing and would you just look at the frescoes in the ceiling who put those there she wonders when like any good gentleman I offer my hand and help her up only to put her on her ass again.

LOL consider that prognostication of the first order. :D:D:D:D

with a great deal of love and movement

the set aside tooooooooooo

tenaciousA

nevermind

setaside2

WEAK.

yeah.

LOL.

now where was that poetry thread around here? it was here a minute ago.. all soft and somber and having fun taking itself so damn seriously and being all pretentious and snooty...

it must be around here somewhere.

tenaciousA

Originally posted by setaside2
(and might I also add: good taste).

this pretentious snootiness?


it's right here



{:

setaside2

Originally posted by setaside2
30 Miles, Light Speed, and a Peach

The peach solidified sweet and dripping
oh so sailing on this summer wind
the eyes-closed-flavor the sin the acidic sugar again
the gate closed behind so clackety clack the lock off track and the broken latch
no more can be given to this escape than the winged feet as they dust down the thatched and brambled pathway

limestone bricks your fort with sad fossils in its walls and cracked upon its fireplace spirits of space at millenium's pace
so be it: the fashion stead
the roaring fire sorely controlled engulfs
its obsessive and oxygenated oratory silently snapping and subtle through three a.m.

these lives catscradled and entwined fingertip to fingertip
one may rock and creak and while away the hours
culling the past from some endless well of dream and depth and polished chrome
sipping from the pail that fine wine crystal clear
-strange how this tincture stains so carmine once spilled-
while a sun streaks double and tripled exposed across the sky
the whispers that come as the harbingers of one storm or another
argue and debate the blessings of the arcing moon

how fast is fleet
these details and ripples of the world ironed by high speed
is there a curve to flee; the horizon lines seem so straightened
the cheeks and shoulders scathed and sewn
passing branches carelessly wrought and reaching
hands flown

damn the rainbow
for it continues to move just slightly out of sight to the upper right
and this 30 mile trail has stretched to infinity
the abilities of light speed notwithstanding
time moves onward in its themes of utter disregard

as these footprints merely wear canyons in the crust
the glacial flow silently follows

buried
the peach pit left in dust
struggles desperate in this dry tundra
for the air
its thirst divine
tinted red by a fading sun insinuating itself behind the foothills at the end of a breathless day

kneeling
the sapling is cradled away in velvet grace
to the side greener and the pasture sweeter
so small its sky 7 inches high and trembles at the slightest breath
it needs worry not: with love it will grow and provide the shade and sweet
children will carve hearts and initials into its pageless papyrus bark
its lifespan catscradled and penned in
oh silent verification as it drops again
the peach will tumble the canyon walls
and begin its life anew in the shifting sands and the footsteps at the river shore

the rain continues unabated though not so frigid and ruthless

as night falls the rainbow fervently sought fades and the mists roll in with permanence
the trail fey and changed in such gray, drab and humid comfort
ghosts sway in the gullies and sing of the lost souls upon the road
now not so alone as another has joined, has showed,
the infinite trek has had its summit peaked
and the only thing left to do
is take one step off the trail and soar
nothing more

the colors have haloed the moon

tenaciousA

that is surely LESS than an 80% reduction in "so"'s doncha think?


:P



and i'm just pulling your leg
~ it's a lovely thing just as it was

setaside2

as a matter of fact I removed several SO's and even switched a few words here and there.

Also, the two So's in the beginning must stay. The last two as well. They are there for flow and also because I like how they sound... they are the meter/beat.

Allen Ginsberg used to use specific words to measure out his beat in a poem, his favorite being the word "who."

LOL while I'm no Ginsberg, I like having the same liberties.