challenge

245678

Comments

  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    FunkeR, you must heckle in a metre:
    Iambic pentametric form! Fail better!

    ;):D
  • of_the_girl
    of_the_girl Posts: 745
    the life of one girl, sore from the bouts of crying
    was worn, exhausted, but with no signs of dying
    she missed the warmth of a lover's embrace
    and she longed for the smile of the eye's on his face
    could a sunset ever show the glory
    of his sweet smile that always told a story?
    could the stars ever shine brighter than his light
    that radiated from his touch every night?

    the cold that makes her shiver so
    will never ever let her go
    and even when the sun burns hot
    she'll sit forever thinking of him and rot
    and there she'll toil her days away
    hoping and wishing, she'll sit always and pray
    "At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." --Plato

    www.myspace.com/birdinamitten
  • olderman
    olderman Posts: 1,765
    thank you jessie and keep on thinking free
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • PJfaninmaine
    PJfaninmaine Posts: 216
    To her he told only lies,
    They lie in a far away tower,
    Itching, and burning like diligent fire flies.
    Plucked out of truth like a sad, bent little flower.


    oh pooh, its all i could come up with in a matter of five minutes.
    If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different....I'd rather be completely fucking mental.
    (Angelina Jolie)
  • olderman
    olderman Posts: 1,765
    bump for the sonnett ..

    this one was written by P. B. Shelley (he was married to the lady who wrote Frankenstein)

    "Lift not the painted veil which those who live"


    Lift not the painted veil which those who live
    Call Life: though unreal shapes be pictured there,
    And it but mimic all we would believe
    With colours idly spread,--behind, lurk Fear
    And Hope, twin Destinies; who ever weave
    Their shadows, o'er the chasm, sightless and drear.
    I knew one who had lifted it--he sought,
    For his lost heart was tender, things to love,
    But found them not, alas! nor was there aught
    The world contains, the which he could approve.
    Through the unheeding many he did move,
    A splendour among shadows, a bright blot
    Upon this gloomy scene, a Spirit that strove
    For truth, and like the Preacher found it not.

    c'mon jammers .. write a sonnett
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    Originally posted by olderman
    bump for the sonnett ..



    c'mon jammers .. write a sonnett

    What is the form of a sonnett? What does it need to include?
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • olderman
    olderman Posts: 1,765
    Originally posted by justam
    What is the form of a sonnett? What does it need to include?

    i am too much imbibed to provide a correct answer right now but i will do so as soon as possible.. that is if finsbury does not do it..
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Originally posted by olderman
    i am too much imbibed to provide a correct answer right now but i will do so as soon as possible.. that is if finsbury does not do it..

    A sonnet is a fourteen line poem. Each line usually (but not always) comprises ten syllables. A line comprises five beats or 'metric feet': thus we say it's 'pentametric'. These metric feet are made up of two syllables, with the first syllable being unstressed and the second, stressed: this kind of metric foot is called an 'iamb'; a sonnet is scanned in 'iambic pentameter'.

    This sounds a bit complicated in theory but in practice a line of iambic pentameter looks like this:

    shall I/ comPARE/ thee TO/ a SUMM/er's DAY?

    or:

    When I/ conSID/er EV/'ryTHING/that GROWS.

    Basically, it's scanned da-DAH/ da-DAH/ da-DAH/ da-DAH/ da-DAH.

    As I say, a sonnet has fourteen lines. There are many rhyme schemes but there are two main ones, the 'Petrarchan' and the 'Shakespearean'. The line endings of a Petrarchan sonnet rhyme in this formula:

    abbaabbacdecde

    The line endings of a Shakespearean sonnet, by far the most popular kind (though Petrarch himself seemed to have popularised the form), comprise this pattern:

    ababcdcdefefgg

    As I say, many people play with the sonnet form these days, but the 'classic' sonnet is usually made up of two sections, the 'octet' and the 'sestet'. Thematically, the octet often puts forth a proposition and the sestet expands on or even questions this. The beginning of line nine in many Renaissance sonnets is often called the 'volta' as it brings about a thematic turnaround.

    As an exercise, you could look at the Shakespeare sonnet I included above (on page one of this thread), and note the rhyme scheme, the metre and the placing of the volta.

    :)
  • ISN
    ISN Posts: 1,700
    beholden now to love and damp emotion...
    since I have drunk a sip of cupid's potion...
    I yet do sit and drunkenly proclaim
    that I will lose perforce in cupid's game
    though loving I have loved and am not still
    though loving being....always loving will
    til if it should amuse you love me back
    then well, I can say love is not the lack
    but lovers, tho but one I want, not any...
    and yet the coin of love is not a penny
    it is not minted yet of which I speak...
    but rising in my breast it does now peak
    and peeking it is shy, and shy of me
    wherefor does it not bring me quick to he?
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • ISN
    ISN Posts: 1,700
    I thought to think but thoughts were coming slow
    I thought to shrink but all I did was grow
    I bought a shrink who told me still to drink
    and though I drank I yet but did slow-think
    I thought of summers past and winters gone
    I thought of life as one long marathon
    and yet the more I thought the slow'r I grew
    the fewer thoughts that ever I have slew
    I slew the thoughts that made me always drink
    I grew the shrink who set me first to think
    he grew to be my mother.....bless her soul
    the one who made me always less than whole
    I grew to be a mother with the swell
    of pregnancy and now my mind is well
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    Originally posted by FinsburyParkCarrots
    A sonnet is a fourteen line poem. Each line usually (but not always) comprises ten syllables. A line comprises five beats or 'metric feet': thus we say it's 'pentametric'. These metric feet are made up of two syllables, with the first syllable being unstressed and the second, stressed: this kind of metric foot is called an 'iamb'; a sonnet is scanned in 'iambic pentameter'.

    This sounds a bit complicated in theory but in practice a line of iambic pentameter looks like this:

    shall I/ comPARE/ thee TO/ a SUMM/er's DAY?

    or:

    When I/ conSID/er EV/'ryTHING/that GROWS.

    Basically, it's scanned da-DAH/ da-DAH/ da-DAH/ da-DAH/ da-DAH.

    As I say, a sonnet has fourteen lines. There are many rhyme schemes but there are two main ones, the 'Petrarchan' and the 'Shakespearean'. The line endings of a Petrarchan sonnet rhyme in this formula:

    abbaabbacdecde

    The line endings of a Shakespearean sonnet, by far the most popular kind (though Petrarch himself seemed to have popularised the form), comprise this pattern:

    ababcdcdefefgg

    As I say, many people play with the sonnet form these days, but the 'classic' sonnet is usually made up of two sections, the 'octet' and the 'sestet'. Thematically, the octet often puts forth a proposition and the sestet expands on or even questions this. The beginning of line nine in many Renaissance sonnets is often called the 'volta' as it brings about a thematic turnaround.

    As an exercise, you could look at the Shakespeare sonnet I included above (on page one of this thread), and note the rhyme scheme, the metre and the placing of the volta.

    :)

    Thanks!
    Now I can take up the challenge and join this thread. :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • olderman
    olderman Posts: 1,765
    do it jammin poets, just do it
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • ISN
    ISN Posts: 1,700
    abbbvbc ccfcckddddddfffdf

    aabbbccccddddeeeefffvfff...gggghhh

    aabbccddeeeeeeedeeedadadada

    dada

    gee gee
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • ISN
    ISN Posts: 1,700
    there grows in hearts too small to pray
    the seeds of parents' yesterdays
    the vows that made them see and saw
    the sparkle of a frost in thaw
    and all the snow they sought to build
    is melting, as the golden gild
    of summer brings a pale reflection
    of their former predilection
    they thought to place a seed for truth
    and found a life was taking root
    and now this bolder braver sprout
    is branching, trailing, breaking out
    I cannot write, I cannot sing,
    I cannot think of anything
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • olderman
    olderman Posts: 1,765
    machine gun sonnets are the new wave.. dammit man, that is unusual!!
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • ISN
    ISN Posts: 1,700
    I can't write a sonnet....no no don't make me.....

    I will read only....sonnets....and learn, obi wan
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • suede
    suede Posts: 247
    he's latin...his name is Obi Juan :D
  • ISN
    ISN Posts: 1,700
    latin...then he's dead yeah....

    so he's obit....Juan

    :D
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • olderman
    olderman Posts: 1,765
    solamente el momento que me amo los Fans de Pearl Jam!!

    i think i got it right .. i wanted to get right..
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • ISN
    ISN Posts: 1,700
    see....see?

    yo no hablo Espanol.....lo siento, pero no....no no

    :D

    no me entiende.....nada

    (if you think my Spanish is bad....you should hear my Latin)

    let's get back to writing sonnets....and I'll stay out of it.....

    okay....off ya go
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......