Is it still acceptable in this day and age to ask a WOMAN in public out for a coffee/drink/lunch?

PJ_Soul

Yes

OffSheGoes35 said:

Gern Blansten said:

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I don't about a 'yes'. With this me too movement and radical feminism I feel like it is frowned upon nowadays.

Me too movement and radical feminism?
Speaking as a friend who doesn't think you are a bad guy, you need to check those spiteful feelings at the door before they grow out of control into full on Incel territory.
I know you say you respect women, but there are signs that you don't, or soon won't.
You talk of women as though they are some inscrutable species from Venus that can't be understood or reasoned with.  They don't run from you in horror, they aren't out looking to drag poor lonely guys through the mud.  Women are people.  They are just people like you, and they don't owe you anything more than you owe them.  Like I said, I don't think you are a bad guy, but your eagerness to cast yourself as a victim is casting the women of your life as villains.

I don't understand why you asked the poll in the first place, is hitting on a stranger on the train something you would really do?  You refuse every other avenue, and that's the one you would consider?
It will come off a little creepy because you are only basing your assessment of the person's worth on their looks in that scenario, but there's a respectful way to do it.  Like I said, only a true stud is ever going to pull that off.
A stranger with a shared interest, like at a book club, class, gym, work, etc gives a much better opportunity because it's plausible that you want to get to know the person based off their interests and not just their body.

I totally agree with all of this.

And FWIW, when a man out in public proposes something like a drink or coffee with me, I can say yes or no. But no matter what that answer is, unless the guy is acting like a fucking creep or weirdo from the start (T_A, I frankly have doubts that you quite understand what creepy and not creepy behaviour really is), I'm flattered either way. Obviously a woman is only going to say yes if something about the guy interests her, be it personality, looks, vibe, or any or all of the above.

Right but Ted Bundy had personality, looks, vibe, etc.

Yes, never trust a good first impression, it's a bullshit scam for sure. 

 Trusting and saying yes to coffee are two VERY different things, lol. A woman accepts a request to go on a date to find out IF he can be trusted, not because she already trusts him... The smart ones, at least.

And no, a good first impression is definitely not always a bullshit scam for sure. Wtf is happening here? Are you folks all exaggerating your positions? Or were your joking OffSheGoes? I can't tell!!

Go Beavers

Curious if any of the boys in here have been asked out randomly and what the situation was. 

Meltdown99

Go Beavers said:

Curious if any of the boys in here have been asked out randomly and what the situation was. 

Never. I am 52, of course, 25 of that I was married.  And at this point, I have no interest in being asked or asking...

Go Beavers

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I don't about a 'yes'. With this me too movement and radical feminism I feel like it is frowned upon nowadays.

By using the term radical feminism, maybe you’re misinterpreting what’s going on. Radical feminism isn’t the right term for greater gender equality (although maybe equality is radical). You’re seing women feel less pressure to placate men in social situations. In this example, the pressure in the was more on women to not reject and upset the guy and just agree to the date. Now if they aren’t interested, they have a greater opportunity to say no thanks. 

OffSheGoes35

PJ_Soul said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

Gern Blansten said:

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I don't about a 'yes'. With this me too movement and radical feminism I feel like it is frowned upon nowadays.

Me too movement and radical feminism?
Speaking as a friend who doesn't think you are a bad guy, you need to check those spiteful feelings at the door before they grow out of control into full on Incel territory.
I know you say you respect women, but there are signs that you don't, or soon won't.
You talk of women as though they are some inscrutable species from Venus that can't be understood or reasoned with.  They don't run from you in horror, they aren't out looking to drag poor lonely guys through the mud.  Women are people.  They are just people like you, and they don't owe you anything more than you owe them.  Like I said, I don't think you are a bad guy, but your eagerness to cast yourself as a victim is casting the women of your life as villains.

I don't understand why you asked the poll in the first place, is hitting on a stranger on the train something you would really do?  You refuse every other avenue, and that's the one you would consider?
It will come off a little creepy because you are only basing your assessment of the person's worth on their looks in that scenario, but there's a respectful way to do it.  Like I said, only a true stud is ever going to pull that off.
A stranger with a shared interest, like at a book club, class, gym, work, etc gives a much better opportunity because it's plausible that you want to get to know the person based off their interests and not just their body.

I totally agree with all of this.

And FWIW, when a man out in public proposes something like a drink or coffee with me, I can say yes or no. But no matter what that answer is, unless the guy is acting like a fucking creep or weirdo from the start (T_A, I frankly have doubts that you quite understand what creepy and not creepy behaviour really is), I'm flattered either way. Obviously a woman is only going to say yes if something about the guy interests her, be it personality, looks, vibe, or any or all of the above.

Right but Ted Bundy had personality, looks, vibe, etc.

Yes, never trust a good first impression, it's a bullshit scam for sure. 

 Trusting and saying yes to coffee are two VERY different things, lol. A woman accepts a request to go on a date to find out IF he can be trusted, not because she already trusts him... The smart ones, at least.

And no, a good first impression is definitely not always a bullshit scam for sure. Wtf is happening here? Are you folks all exaggerating your positions? Or were your joking OffSheGoes? I can't tell!!

All I know is I don't want to end up in a trunk,freezer, or Dateline episode.

Meltdown99

OffSheGoes35 said:

PJ_Soul said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

Gern Blansten said:

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I don't about a 'yes'. With this me too movement and radical feminism I feel like it is frowned upon nowadays.

Me too movement and radical feminism?
Speaking as a friend who doesn't think you are a bad guy, you need to check those spiteful feelings at the door before they grow out of control into full on Incel territory.
I know you say you respect women, but there are signs that you don't, or soon won't.
You talk of women as though they are some inscrutable species from Venus that can't be understood or reasoned with.  They don't run from you in horror, they aren't out looking to drag poor lonely guys through the mud.  Women are people.  They are just people like you, and they don't owe you anything more than you owe them.  Like I said, I don't think you are a bad guy, but your eagerness to cast yourself as a victim is casting the women of your life as villains.

I don't understand why you asked the poll in the first place, is hitting on a stranger on the train something you would really do?  You refuse every other avenue, and that's the one you would consider?
It will come off a little creepy because you are only basing your assessment of the person's worth on their looks in that scenario, but there's a respectful way to do it.  Like I said, only a true stud is ever going to pull that off.
A stranger with a shared interest, like at a book club, class, gym, work, etc gives a much better opportunity because it's plausible that you want to get to know the person based off their interests and not just their body.

I totally agree with all of this.

And FWIW, when a man out in public proposes something like a drink or coffee with me, I can say yes or no. But no matter what that answer is, unless the guy is acting like a fucking creep or weirdo from the start (T_A, I frankly have doubts that you quite understand what creepy and not creepy behaviour really is), I'm flattered either way. Obviously a woman is only going to say yes if something about the guy interests her, be it personality, looks, vibe, or any or all of the above.

Right but Ted Bundy had personality, looks, vibe, etc.

Yes, never trust a good first impression, it's a bullshit scam for sure. 

 Trusting and saying yes to coffee are two VERY different things, lol. A woman accepts a request to go on a date to find out IF he can be trusted, not because she already trusts him... The smart ones, at least.

And no, a good first impression is definitely not always a bullshit scam for sure. Wtf is happening here? Are you folks all exaggerating your positions? Or were your joking OffSheGoes? I can't tell!!

All I know is I don't want to end up in a trunk,freezer, or Dateline episode.

The only thing you left out was being served as potluck to his neighbours...lol

lolobugg

Go Beavers said:

Curious if any of the boys in here have been asked out randomly and what the situation was. 

it happened at my work a few times....... of course I worked at a record store so that made me automatically COOL.

PJ_Soul

Yes

OffSheGoes35 said:

PJ_Soul said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

Gern Blansten said:

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I don't about a 'yes'. With this me too movement and radical feminism I feel like it is frowned upon nowadays.

Me too movement and radical feminism?
Speaking as a friend who doesn't think you are a bad guy, you need to check those spiteful feelings at the door before they grow out of control into full on Incel territory.
I know you say you respect women, but there are signs that you don't, or soon won't.
You talk of women as though they are some inscrutable species from Venus that can't be understood or reasoned with.  They don't run from you in horror, they aren't out looking to drag poor lonely guys through the mud.  Women are people.  They are just people like you, and they don't owe you anything more than you owe them.  Like I said, I don't think you are a bad guy, but your eagerness to cast yourself as a victim is casting the women of your life as villains.

I don't understand why you asked the poll in the first place, is hitting on a stranger on the train something you would really do?  You refuse every other avenue, and that's the one you would consider?
It will come off a little creepy because you are only basing your assessment of the person's worth on their looks in that scenario, but there's a respectful way to do it.  Like I said, only a true stud is ever going to pull that off.
A stranger with a shared interest, like at a book club, class, gym, work, etc gives a much better opportunity because it's plausible that you want to get to know the person based off their interests and not just their body.

I totally agree with all of this.

And FWIW, when a man out in public proposes something like a drink or coffee with me, I can say yes or no. But no matter what that answer is, unless the guy is acting like a fucking creep or weirdo from the start (T_A, I frankly have doubts that you quite understand what creepy and not creepy behaviour really is), I'm flattered either way. Obviously a woman is only going to say yes if something about the guy interests her, be it personality, looks, vibe, or any or all of the above.

Right but Ted Bundy had personality, looks, vibe, etc.

Yes, never trust a good first impression, it's a bullshit scam for sure. 

 Trusting and saying yes to coffee are two VERY different things, lol. A woman accepts a request to go on a date to find out IF he can be trusted, not because she already trusts him... The smart ones, at least.

And no, a good first impression is definitely not always a bullshit scam for sure. Wtf is happening here? Are you folks all exaggerating your positions? Or were your joking OffSheGoes? I can't tell!!

All I know is I don't want to end up in a trunk,freezer, or Dateline episode.

Me neither, lol. So far so good! There are plenty of non-serial killer men out there, fortunately. We have a better chance of being hit by lightning than we do of getting killed by a serial killer, just to put it in perspective.

oftenreading

lolobugg said:

Go Beavers said:

Curious if any of the boys in here have been asked out randomly and what the situation was. 

it happened at my work a few times....... of course I worked at a record store so that made me automatically COOL.

You are already cool, Logan  


Edit: though I have to add, you said it “happened” but you didn’t say it happened to you  

mcgruff10

Yes

If you do ask her out just be polite. If she says yes, great.  If she says no then say thanks and move on.  

rgambs

Yes

Go Beavers said:

Curious if any of the boys in here have been asked out randomly and what the situation was. 

This happened to me for the first time as an adult last week!  A lady was eyeballin' me and I thought it was because I was busted glancing at her friend's yoga pants but apparently she was glancing me.  She said, "this might sound crazy, but are you single?" 
I couldn't believe it.  I felt great.  
She was very average, not particularly attractive, but not at all ugly either.  Definitely would have taken her on a date if I was single, I don't have any trouble finding something attractive in the vast majority of women.
I told my wife that if somewhat below average women are looking hard enough to say something, then maybe above average women are checking me out a little.
Her reply:
"No, it just means she thinks you are at her level."

My buddy laughed his ass off at that.

lolobugg

oftenreading said:

lolobugg said:

Go Beavers said:

Curious if any of the boys in here have been asked out randomly and what the situation was. 

it happened at my work a few times....... of course I worked at a record store so that made me automatically COOL.

You are already cool, Logan  


Edit: though I have to add, you said it “happened” but you didn’t say it happened to you  

What up, Often!!!

it happened to me and a co-worker... but we also both played in bands..... I guess they were groupies.

OnWis97

Yes

Go Beavers said:

Curious if any of the boys in here have been asked out randomly and what the situation was. 

Not me.  I'd probably be more likely to be preemptively turned down out of the blue.

tbergs

OnWis97 said:

Go Beavers said:

Curious if any of the boys in here have been asked out randomly and what the situation was. 

Not me.  I'd probably be more likely to be preemptively turned down out of the blue.

Haha! Or you could get the Dumb & Dumber 1 in a billion response.

PJ_Soul

Yes

OnWis97 said:

Go Beavers said:

Curious if any of the boys in here have been asked out randomly and what the situation was. 

Not me.  I'd probably be more likely to be preemptively turned down out of the blue.

So you'd just be standing there minding your own business, and a woman approaches you and declares, "You know, I wouldn't have coffee with you if you asked!" 

Meltdown99

TA have you thought about getting an life coach, attending a Tony Robbins seminar or similar...s/

PJ_Soul

Yes

Meltdown99 said:

TA have you thought about getting an life coach, attending a Tony Robbins seminar or similar...s/

Or even Toastmasters. I think others have suggested that before... and not sarcastically.

lolobugg

PJ_Soul said:

Meltdown99 said:

TA have you thought about getting an life coach, attending a Tony Robbins seminar or similar...s/

Or even Toastmasters. I think others have suggested that before... and not sarcastically.

WTF is Toastmasters?

PJ_Soul

Yes

lolobugg said:

PJ_Soul said:

Meltdown99 said:

TA have you thought about getting an life coach, attending a Tony Robbins seminar or similar...s/

Or even Toastmasters. I think others have suggested that before... and not sarcastically.

WTF is Toastmasters?

It's this kind of program or whatever you call it that is offered all over the world, and it helps people come out of their shells, improve at public speaking and stuff like that. It supposedly REALLY helps people who are self-conscious, shy, have trouble speaking with groups or with strangers, boost self-confidence, and it also helps people improve with job interviews. I've only heard good things about it.

lolobugg

PJ_Soul said:

lolobugg said:

PJ_Soul said:

Meltdown99 said:

TA have you thought about getting an life coach, attending a Tony Robbins seminar or similar...s/

Or even Toastmasters. I think others have suggested that before... and not sarcastically.

WTF is Toastmasters?

It's this kind of program or whatever you call it that is offered all over the world, and it helps people come out of their shells, improve at public speaking and stuff like that. It supposedly REALLY helps people who are self-conscious, shy, have trouble speaking with groups or with strangers, boost self-confidence, and it also helps people improve with job interviews. I've only heard good things about it.

Scientology?

PJ_Soul

Yes

lolobugg said:

PJ_Soul said:

lolobugg said:

PJ_Soul said:

Meltdown99 said:

TA have you thought about getting an life coach, attending a Tony Robbins seminar or similar...s/

Or even Toastmasters. I think others have suggested that before... and not sarcastically.

WTF is Toastmasters?

It's this kind of program or whatever you call it that is offered all over the world, and it helps people come out of their shells, improve at public speaking and stuff like that. It supposedly REALLY helps people who are self-conscious, shy, have trouble speaking with groups or with strangers, boost self-confidence, and it also helps people improve with job interviews. I've only heard good things about it.

Scientology?

Lol!! No, no! Nothing like that! It's a very normal program for normal people, haha, nothing cult-like about it. I'm sensitive to that kind of vibe too, and would never recommend anything that comes close. It's rated very highly as a self-improvement and professional kind of program, and not brainwashy or anything at all. I remember my high school always recommended it to everyone because it helps prepare younger people for communicating in a professional and confident manner in "the real world", for when they started looking for jobs and careers (but it is totally for all-ages). And it's still going 25 years later, so it obviously has something to offer. In fact, my sister took it. I don't think she needed a lot of help communicating with other people, but it actually looks really good on any resume and she figured it would help her find a job. It probably did help.

oftenreading

lolobugg said:

PJ_Soul said:

lolobugg said:

PJ_Soul said:

Meltdown99 said:

TA have you thought about getting an life coach, attending a Tony Robbins seminar or similar...s/

Or even Toastmasters. I think others have suggested that before... and not sarcastically.

WTF is Toastmasters?

It's this kind of program or whatever you call it that is offered all over the world, and it helps people come out of their shells, improve at public speaking and stuff like that. It supposedly REALLY helps people who are self-conscious, shy, have trouble speaking with groups or with strangers, boost self-confidence, and it also helps people improve with job interviews. I've only heard good things about it.

Scientology?

 

We can all do with some improvement of our thetans, right? 
 

Meltdown99

PJ_Soul said:

Meltdown99 said:

TA have you thought about getting an life coach, attending a Tony Robbins seminar or similar...s/

Or even Toastmasters. I think others have suggested that before... and not sarcastically.

I put sarcasm in there because I mentioned Tony Robbins, and do not know if he really is as good as he claims or just a fraud.  I will admit, I have never heard a bad thing about him.  And I in no way saying these seminars do not help.  We all need help at some time.

PJ_Soul

Yes

Meltdown99 said:

PJ_Soul said:

Meltdown99 said:

TA have you thought about getting an life coach, attending a Tony Robbins seminar or similar...s/

Or even Toastmasters. I think others have suggested that before... and not sarcastically.

I put sarcasm in there because I mentioned Tony Robbins, and do not know if he really is as good as he claims or just a fraud.  I will admit, I have never heard a bad thing about him.  And I in no way saying these seminars do not help.  We all need help at some time.

Fair enough. With Tony Robbins, my vote is for total scumbag fraud, lol. And he's creepy AF too.

lolobugg

PJ_Soul said:

Meltdown99 said:

PJ_Soul said:

Meltdown99 said:

TA have you thought about getting an life coach, attending a Tony Robbins seminar or similar...s/

Or even Toastmasters. I think others have suggested that before... and not sarcastically.

I put sarcasm in there because I mentioned Tony Robbins, and do not know if he really is as good as he claims or just a fraud.  I will admit, I have never heard a bad thing about him.  And I in no way saying these seminars do not help.  We all need help at some time.

Fair enough. With Tony Robins, my vote is for total scumbag fraud, lol. And he's creepy AF too.

look what he did to Jack Black!!!

F Me In The Brain

Yes

Damn, Logan, dropping truth!

PJ_Soul

Yes

lolobugg said:

PJ_Soul said:

Meltdown99 said:

PJ_Soul said:

Meltdown99 said:

TA have you thought about getting an life coach, attending a Tony Robbins seminar or similar...s/

Or even Toastmasters. I think others have suggested that before... and not sarcastically.

I put sarcasm in there because I mentioned Tony Robbins, and do not know if he really is as good as he claims or just a fraud.  I will admit, I have never heard a bad thing about him.  And I in no way saying these seminars do not help.  We all need help at some time.

Fair enough. With Tony Robins, my vote is for total scumbag fraud, lol. And he's creepy AF too.

look what he did to Jack Black!!!

Meltdown99

PJ_Soul said:

Meltdown99 said:

PJ_Soul said:

Meltdown99 said:

TA have you thought about getting an life coach, attending a Tony Robbins seminar or similar...s/

Or even Toastmasters. I think others have suggested that before... and not sarcastically.

I put sarcasm in there because I mentioned Tony Robbins, and do not know if he really is as good as he claims or just a fraud.  I will admit, I have never heard a bad thing about him.  And I in no way saying these seminars do not help.  We all need help at some time.

Fair enough. With Tony Robbins, my vote is for total scumbag fraud, lol. And he's creepy AF too.

Duly noted.  I think there are legit self-help seminars.

lolobugg

F Me In The Brain said:

Damn, Logan, dropping truth!

Word up, Brett!!!!

Go Beavers

PJ_Soul said:

lolobugg said:

PJ_Soul said:

lolobugg said:

PJ_Soul said:

Meltdown99 said:

TA have you thought about getting an life coach, attending a Tony Robbins seminar or similar...s/

Or even Toastmasters. I think others have suggested that before... and not sarcastically.

WTF is Toastmasters?

It's this kind of program or whatever you call it that is offered all over the world, and it helps people come out of their shells, improve at public speaking and stuff like that. It supposedly REALLY helps people who are self-conscious, shy, have trouble speaking with groups or with strangers, boost self-confidence, and it also helps people improve with job interviews. I've only heard good things about it.

Scientology?

Lol!! No, no! Nothing like that! It's a very normal program for normal people, haha, nothing cult-like about it. I'm sensitive to that kind of vibe too, and would never recommend anything that comes close. It's rated very highly as a self-improvement and professional kind of program, and not brainwashy or anything at all. I remember my high school always recommended it to everyone because it helps prepare younger people for communicating in a professional and confident manner in "the real world", for when they started looking for jobs and careers (but it is totally for all-ages). And it's still going 25 years later, so it obviously has something to offer. In fact, my sister took it. I don't think she needed a lot of help communicating with other people, but it actually looks really good on any resume and she figured it would help her find a job. It probably did help.

And you become Master of your Toast