Should I ask Agnes out on a date?

PJ_Soul

Yes

njnancy said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

njnancy said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

I personally don't have anything against opposites attracting. I quoted him to spark conversation.
 I eat meat, for the record. 

I thought I was posting an opinion. Sheesh. As in conversing.....

We're all allowed to have our own opinions. Maybe meltdown felt like his opinion was misunderstood? I don't know. I have no idea what just happened, but you didn't do anything wrong njnancy.

Thanks. I don't understand how things work around here sometimes. And after almost 5 years, maybe I never will. 

I like your new profile pic. 

Meltdown is just like that sometimes (not always). Best to just try and ignore it IMO.

tbergs

I can't believe this thread is still going. I didn't have the time or patience to read the last 500 posts, but the real question is, how far along is Agnes in the restraining order process?

PJ_Soul

Yes

tbergs said:

I can't believe this thread is still going. I didn't have the time or patience to read the last 500 posts, but the real question is, how far along is Agnes in the restraining order process?

Hilarious! I personally find it hard to believe that she hasn't found this thread and read the whole thing. I know that if someone told me about a poll like this and it was about me, I would have googled it that very day, and I would have immediately found this entire discussion, lol.

That said, this is one of the best threads going on the boards now, lol, as it has expanded into many valuable topics. I very much appreciate its existence, hahaha.

Thoughts_Arrive

Yes

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

oftenreading said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Forgot to add,
When my mum mentions my future children I tell her that it won't happen and she gets all sad and scared. 

Having children just because your mother wants grandchildren is one of the worst reasons to have children. They aren't accessories. 

Words of wisdom.

Never let bullshit societal norms or the desires of others force you into something you don't truly want for yourself.

Won't happen.
What is starting to get to me is people questioning my unemployed status. Is it a societal norm to work? 

Uh, well no, I wouldn't say that. I mean, yeah, people normally work which makes it normal in society. But people have to work to support themselves, feed themselves, clothe themselves, etc. But FYI, being a full time student is considered a job. It is very very normal for a full time student not to work. That's why student loans are so high, lol. So just tell people that when they ask about your unemployment status. If you stop being a full time student and still don't have a job, then you'll just be someone who doesn't support himself.

People are like 'well I went through university and held a part time job bla bla"
Psychology is so competitive that you need a very high GPA to get accepted into postgraduate degrees.
If that wasn't the case I'd work part time and study full time. I need to dedicate 100% of my time to my current degree to have a chance at postgraduate.

Ya, well some people are jerks, lol. I actually worked part time all through full time university myself, but man, it sure would have been nice to not have, lol. I chose to move out from my parents' house early so had to work to support myself without screwing myself with too many loans... but that is just one of the legit options. Dude, stop caring so much about what other people think about your choices. I feel like you haven't had the greatest epiphany of adulthood: who cares what other people think???? Fuck 'em!!

I feel great shame when people ask me what I do with myself and I say I'm a full time student rather than giving an occupation.
I don't even know what I want to do after university. I feel like a lost soul in this world.
Thought I wanted to be a clinical psychologist when I went back to uni, now I am not sure it's for me. Plus I have my own shit that is unresolved. Not exactly the ideal practitioner. Not sure if academia/research is my thing either. I was thinking maybe social work but my fucking passion is art (even though I have been lost for painting ideas the past 3 weeks and have done nothing).

everyone is fucked up to a degree. psychologists are no different. I once read a psychologist say that they can be some of the MOST fucked up people! LOL

I'm 44. have a decent job, but it's not my passion. I just kind of lucked into it through working at the same place since I was 23 when I started in security.

when i was younger I always thought I was going to be a cop. Then in high school I thought I'd be a good accountant.

You know what I really want to be when I grow up? HAPPY. that's what. 

I like the people I work with, my job isn't stressful, the benefits/pension are out of this world, it puts food on the table and my girls in dance and me at concerts and my wife out for dinner and drinks with friends. I've come to appreciate this. People may think I have "settled" and I'm wasting my potential. I say "fuck you" to anyone that thinks they know what I want/need. it took me a long time to realize I need to stop giving a shit what people think. satisfying others will NEVER make you happy. it doesn't matter if it's a spouse, a friend, a peer, a parent. 

a guy I'm friends with once said to me "why don't you go back to school so you can make more money? don't you want your kids to want for nothing?". why, so they can see their dad miserable and non-engaging because he's too stressed out/busy with work like my dad was? yeah, no thanks. I'd rather play board games with my kids. 

what opened my eyes? a guy i went to high school with, I saw years later through work. He was an accountant. i asked him how he liked it. He said "I fucking hate it. I only do it because that's what my parents wanted me to do". 

I often see people I used to work with. They look at me with shock (and seeming disdain) when I tell them I still work there. Then I get the "lifer, eh?" comments, like it's something to be embarassed about. you know how I respond? "yep. why would I leave? it's a great place to work". if you respond to people like that with unapologetic, positive confidence, it shuts them down/up immediately. you simply cannot make fun of someone's happiness. 

if you are confident in the choices you've made for yourself then project that. 

Noted.
Don't understand why people feel the constant need to give their opinion to others. Are these people not happy with themselves?

HughFreakingDillon

Thoughts_Arrive said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

oftenreading said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Forgot to add,
When my mum mentions my future children I tell her that it won't happen and she gets all sad and scared. 

Having children just because your mother wants grandchildren is one of the worst reasons to have children. They aren't accessories. 

Words of wisdom.

Never let bullshit societal norms or the desires of others force you into something you don't truly want for yourself.

Won't happen.
What is starting to get to me is people questioning my unemployed status. Is it a societal norm to work? 

Uh, well no, I wouldn't say that. I mean, yeah, people normally work which makes it normal in society. But people have to work to support themselves, feed themselves, clothe themselves, etc. But FYI, being a full time student is considered a job. It is very very normal for a full time student not to work. That's why student loans are so high, lol. So just tell people that when they ask about your unemployment status. If you stop being a full time student and still don't have a job, then you'll just be someone who doesn't support himself.

People are like 'well I went through university and held a part time job bla bla"
Psychology is so competitive that you need a very high GPA to get accepted into postgraduate degrees.
If that wasn't the case I'd work part time and study full time. I need to dedicate 100% of my time to my current degree to have a chance at postgraduate.

Ya, well some people are jerks, lol. I actually worked part time all through full time university myself, but man, it sure would have been nice to not have, lol. I chose to move out from my parents' house early so had to work to support myself without screwing myself with too many loans... but that is just one of the legit options. Dude, stop caring so much about what other people think about your choices. I feel like you haven't had the greatest epiphany of adulthood: who cares what other people think???? Fuck 'em!!

I feel great shame when people ask me what I do with myself and I say I'm a full time student rather than giving an occupation.
I don't even know what I want to do after university. I feel like a lost soul in this world.
Thought I wanted to be a clinical psychologist when I went back to uni, now I am not sure it's for me. Plus I have my own shit that is unresolved. Not exactly the ideal practitioner. Not sure if academia/research is my thing either. I was thinking maybe social work but my fucking passion is art (even though I have been lost for painting ideas the past 3 weeks and have done nothing).

everyone is fucked up to a degree. psychologists are no different. I once read a psychologist say that they can be some of the MOST fucked up people! LOL

I'm 44. have a decent job, but it's not my passion. I just kind of lucked into it through working at the same place since I was 23 when I started in security.

when i was younger I always thought I was going to be a cop. Then in high school I thought I'd be a good accountant.

You know what I really want to be when I grow up? HAPPY. that's what. 

I like the people I work with, my job isn't stressful, the benefits/pension are out of this world, it puts food on the table and my girls in dance and me at concerts and my wife out for dinner and drinks with friends. I've come to appreciate this. People may think I have "settled" and I'm wasting my potential. I say "fuck you" to anyone that thinks they know what I want/need. it took me a long time to realize I need to stop giving a shit what people think. satisfying others will NEVER make you happy. it doesn't matter if it's a spouse, a friend, a peer, a parent. 

a guy I'm friends with once said to me "why don't you go back to school so you can make more money? don't you want your kids to want for nothing?". why, so they can see their dad miserable and non-engaging because he's too stressed out/busy with work like my dad was? yeah, no thanks. I'd rather play board games with my kids. 

what opened my eyes? a guy i went to high school with, I saw years later through work. He was an accountant. i asked him how he liked it. He said "I fucking hate it. I only do it because that's what my parents wanted me to do". 

I often see people I used to work with. They look at me with shock (and seeming disdain) when I tell them I still work there. Then I get the "lifer, eh?" comments, like it's something to be embarassed about. you know how I respond? "yep. why would I leave? it's a great place to work". if you respond to people like that with unapologetic, positive confidence, it shuts them down/up immediately. you simply cannot make fun of someone's happiness. 

if you are confident in the choices you've made for yourself then project that. 

Noted.
Don't understand why people feel the constant need to give their opinion to others. Are these people not happy with themselves?

it could be a number of things. They might actually think they are being helpful, they might think it affirms their own success if someone follows their suggestions, or it just might be a plain old asshole thing to do, to show everyone at the table how much better they are than someone else. I've noticed these types of conversations/life suggestions don't happen one on one, usually in front of a group. 

OffSheGoes35

No

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

oftenreading said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Forgot to add,
When my mum mentions my future children I tell her that it won't happen and she gets all sad and scared. 

Having children just because your mother wants grandchildren is one of the worst reasons to have children. They aren't accessories. 

Words of wisdom.

Never let bullshit societal norms or the desires of others force you into something you don't truly want for yourself.

Won't happen.
What is starting to get to me is people questioning my unemployed status. Is it a societal norm to work? 

Uh, well no, I wouldn't say that. I mean, yeah, people normally work which makes it normal in society. But people have to work to support themselves, feed themselves, clothe themselves, etc. But FYI, being a full time student is considered a job. It is very very normal for a full time student not to work. That's why student loans are so high, lol. So just tell people that when they ask about your unemployment status. If you stop being a full time student and still don't have a job, then you'll just be someone who doesn't support himself.

People are like 'well I went through university and held a part time job bla bla"
Psychology is so competitive that you need a very high GPA to get accepted into postgraduate degrees.
If that wasn't the case I'd work part time and study full time. I need to dedicate 100% of my time to my current degree to have a chance at postgraduate.

Ya, well some people are jerks, lol. I actually worked part time all through full time university myself, but man, it sure would have been nice to not have, lol. I chose to move out from my parents' house early so had to work to support myself without screwing myself with too many loans... but that is just one of the legit options. Dude, stop caring so much about what other people think about your choices. I feel like you haven't had the greatest epiphany of adulthood: who cares what other people think???? Fuck 'em!!

I feel great shame when people ask me what I do with myself and I say I'm a full time student rather than giving an occupation.
I don't even know what I want to do after university. I feel like a lost soul in this world.
Thought I wanted to be a clinical psychologist when I went back to uni, now I am not sure it's for me. Plus I have my own shit that is unresolved. Not exactly the ideal practitioner. Not sure if academia/research is my thing either. I was thinking maybe social work but my fucking passion is art (even though I have been lost for painting ideas the past 3 weeks and have done nothing).

everyone is fucked up to a degree. psychologists are no different. I once read a psychologist say that they can be some of the MOST fucked up people! LOL

I'm 44. have a decent job, but it's not my passion. I just kind of lucked into it through working at the same place since I was 23 when I started in security.

when i was younger I always thought I was going to be a cop. Then in high school I thought I'd be a good accountant.

You know what I really want to be when I grow up? HAPPY. that's what. 

I like the people I work with, my job isn't stressful, the benefits/pension are out of this world, it puts food on the table and my girls in dance and me at concerts and my wife out for dinner and drinks with friends. I've come to appreciate this. People may think I have "settled" and I'm wasting my potential. I say "fuck you" to anyone that thinks they know what I want/need. it took me a long time to realize I need to stop giving a shit what people think. satisfying others will NEVER make you happy. it doesn't matter if it's a spouse, a friend, a peer, a parent. 

a guy I'm friends with once said to me "why don't you go back to school so you can make more money? don't you want your kids to want for nothing?". why, so they can see their dad miserable and non-engaging because he's too stressed out/busy with work like my dad was? yeah, no thanks. I'd rather play board games with my kids. 

what opened my eyes? a guy i went to high school with, I saw years later through work. He was an accountant. i asked him how he liked it. He said "I fucking hate it. I only do it because that's what my parents wanted me to do". 

I often see people I used to work with. They look at me with shock (and seeming disdain) when I tell them I still work there. Then I get the "lifer, eh?" comments, like it's something to be embarassed about. you know how I respond? "yep. why would I leave? it's a great place to work". if you respond to people like that with unapologetic, positive confidence, it shuts them down/up immediately. you simply cannot make fun of someone's happiness. 

if you are confident in the choices you've made for yourself then project that. 

What about "Happy wife, happy life"?

HughFreakingDillon

OffSheGoes35 said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

oftenreading said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Forgot to add,
When my mum mentions my future children I tell her that it won't happen and she gets all sad and scared. 

Having children just because your mother wants grandchildren is one of the worst reasons to have children. They aren't accessories. 

Words of wisdom.

Never let bullshit societal norms or the desires of others force you into something you don't truly want for yourself.

Won't happen.
What is starting to get to me is people questioning my unemployed status. Is it a societal norm to work? 

Uh, well no, I wouldn't say that. I mean, yeah, people normally work which makes it normal in society. But people have to work to support themselves, feed themselves, clothe themselves, etc. But FYI, being a full time student is considered a job. It is very very normal for a full time student not to work. That's why student loans are so high, lol. So just tell people that when they ask about your unemployment status. If you stop being a full time student and still don't have a job, then you'll just be someone who doesn't support himself.

People are like 'well I went through university and held a part time job bla bla"
Psychology is so competitive that you need a very high GPA to get accepted into postgraduate degrees.
If that wasn't the case I'd work part time and study full time. I need to dedicate 100% of my time to my current degree to have a chance at postgraduate.

Ya, well some people are jerks, lol. I actually worked part time all through full time university myself, but man, it sure would have been nice to not have, lol. I chose to move out from my parents' house early so had to work to support myself without screwing myself with too many loans... but that is just one of the legit options. Dude, stop caring so much about what other people think about your choices. I feel like you haven't had the greatest epiphany of adulthood: who cares what other people think???? Fuck 'em!!

I feel great shame when people ask me what I do with myself and I say I'm a full time student rather than giving an occupation.
I don't even know what I want to do after university. I feel like a lost soul in this world.
Thought I wanted to be a clinical psychologist when I went back to uni, now I am not sure it's for me. Plus I have my own shit that is unresolved. Not exactly the ideal practitioner. Not sure if academia/research is my thing either. I was thinking maybe social work but my fucking passion is art (even though I have been lost for painting ideas the past 3 weeks and have done nothing).

everyone is fucked up to a degree. psychologists are no different. I once read a psychologist say that they can be some of the MOST fucked up people! LOL

I'm 44. have a decent job, but it's not my passion. I just kind of lucked into it through working at the same place since I was 23 when I started in security.

when i was younger I always thought I was going to be a cop. Then in high school I thought I'd be a good accountant.

You know what I really want to be when I grow up? HAPPY. that's what. 

I like the people I work with, my job isn't stressful, the benefits/pension are out of this world, it puts food on the table and my girls in dance and me at concerts and my wife out for dinner and drinks with friends. I've come to appreciate this. People may think I have "settled" and I'm wasting my potential. I say "fuck you" to anyone that thinks they know what I want/need. it took me a long time to realize I need to stop giving a shit what people think. satisfying others will NEVER make you happy. it doesn't matter if it's a spouse, a friend, a peer, a parent. 

a guy I'm friends with once said to me "why don't you go back to school so you can make more money? don't you want your kids to want for nothing?". why, so they can see their dad miserable and non-engaging because he's too stressed out/busy with work like my dad was? yeah, no thanks. I'd rather play board games with my kids. 

what opened my eyes? a guy i went to high school with, I saw years later through work. He was an accountant. i asked him how he liked it. He said "I fucking hate it. I only do it because that's what my parents wanted me to do". 

I often see people I used to work with. They look at me with shock (and seeming disdain) when I tell them I still work there. Then I get the "lifer, eh?" comments, like it's something to be embarassed about. you know how I respond? "yep. why would I leave? it's a great place to work". if you respond to people like that with unapologetic, positive confidence, it shuts them down/up immediately. you simply cannot make fun of someone's happiness. 

if you are confident in the choices you've made for yourself then project that. 

What about "Happy wife, happy life"?

uh, no. 

OffSheGoes35

No

Hahahaha

PJ_Soul

Yes

OffSheGoes35 said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

oftenreading said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Forgot to add,
When my mum mentions my future children I tell her that it won't happen and she gets all sad and scared. 

Having children just because your mother wants grandchildren is one of the worst reasons to have children. They aren't accessories. 

Words of wisdom.

Never let bullshit societal norms or the desires of others force you into something you don't truly want for yourself.

Won't happen.
What is starting to get to me is people questioning my unemployed status. Is it a societal norm to work? 

Uh, well no, I wouldn't say that. I mean, yeah, people normally work which makes it normal in society. But people have to work to support themselves, feed themselves, clothe themselves, etc. But FYI, being a full time student is considered a job. It is very very normal for a full time student not to work. That's why student loans are so high, lol. So just tell people that when they ask about your unemployment status. If you stop being a full time student and still don't have a job, then you'll just be someone who doesn't support himself.

People are like 'well I went through university and held a part time job bla bla"
Psychology is so competitive that you need a very high GPA to get accepted into postgraduate degrees.
If that wasn't the case I'd work part time and study full time. I need to dedicate 100% of my time to my current degree to have a chance at postgraduate.

Ya, well some people are jerks, lol. I actually worked part time all through full time university myself, but man, it sure would have been nice to not have, lol. I chose to move out from my parents' house early so had to work to support myself without screwing myself with too many loans... but that is just one of the legit options. Dude, stop caring so much about what other people think about your choices. I feel like you haven't had the greatest epiphany of adulthood: who cares what other people think???? Fuck 'em!!

I feel great shame when people ask me what I do with myself and I say I'm a full time student rather than giving an occupation.
I don't even know what I want to do after university. I feel like a lost soul in this world.
Thought I wanted to be a clinical psychologist when I went back to uni, now I am not sure it's for me. Plus I have my own shit that is unresolved. Not exactly the ideal practitioner. Not sure if academia/research is my thing either. I was thinking maybe social work but my fucking passion is art (even though I have been lost for painting ideas the past 3 weeks and have done nothing).

everyone is fucked up to a degree. psychologists are no different. I once read a psychologist say that they can be some of the MOST fucked up people! LOL

I'm 44. have a decent job, but it's not my passion. I just kind of lucked into it through working at the same place since I was 23 when I started in security.

when i was younger I always thought I was going to be a cop. Then in high school I thought I'd be a good accountant.

You know what I really want to be when I grow up? HAPPY. that's what. 

I like the people I work with, my job isn't stressful, the benefits/pension are out of this world, it puts food on the table and my girls in dance and me at concerts and my wife out for dinner and drinks with friends. I've come to appreciate this. People may think I have "settled" and I'm wasting my potential. I say "fuck you" to anyone that thinks they know what I want/need. it took me a long time to realize I need to stop giving a shit what people think. satisfying others will NEVER make you happy. it doesn't matter if it's a spouse, a friend, a peer, a parent. 

a guy I'm friends with once said to me "why don't you go back to school so you can make more money? don't you want your kids to want for nothing?". why, so they can see their dad miserable and non-engaging because he's too stressed out/busy with work like my dad was? yeah, no thanks. I'd rather play board games with my kids. 

what opened my eyes? a guy i went to high school with, I saw years later through work. He was an accountant. i asked him how he liked it. He said "I fucking hate it. I only do it because that's what my parents wanted me to do". 

I often see people I used to work with. They look at me with shock (and seeming disdain) when I tell them I still work there. Then I get the "lifer, eh?" comments, like it's something to be embarassed about. you know how I respond? "yep. why would I leave? it's a great place to work". if you respond to people like that with unapologetic, positive confidence, it shuts them down/up immediately. you simply cannot make fun of someone's happiness. 

if you are confident in the choices you've made for yourself then project that. 

What about "Happy wife, happy life"?

It's actually a good question. I think saying that satisfying others will never make one happy is a really misguided statement. This is far from a black and white issue. Doing things for others, and to place oneself in a position within a shared relationship where compromises are made is very human, healthy, and unavoidable unless you isolate yourself way too much. Black and white statements against that might just create more inner conflict rather than solve anything. I know what he meant, but yeah, I doubt there are too many truly happy people who revolve their entire lives around themselves and their own wants and needs alone.

And I think "happy wife, happy life" would be a great term, but only assuming people understand that it's meant as a reciprocal, circular kind of concept, lol.

OffSheGoes35

No

Okay married folks, what do you think about these rules?

HughFreakingDillon

PJ_Soul said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

oftenreading said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Forgot to add,
When my mum mentions my future children I tell her that it won't happen and she gets all sad and scared. 

Having children just because your mother wants grandchildren is one of the worst reasons to have children. They aren't accessories. 

Words of wisdom.

Never let bullshit societal norms or the desires of others force you into something you don't truly want for yourself.

Won't happen.
What is starting to get to me is people questioning my unemployed status. Is it a societal norm to work? 

Uh, well no, I wouldn't say that. I mean, yeah, people normally work which makes it normal in society. But people have to work to support themselves, feed themselves, clothe themselves, etc. But FYI, being a full time student is considered a job. It is very very normal for a full time student not to work. That's why student loans are so high, lol. So just tell people that when they ask about your unemployment status. If you stop being a full time student and still don't have a job, then you'll just be someone who doesn't support himself.

People are like 'well I went through university and held a part time job bla bla"
Psychology is so competitive that you need a very high GPA to get accepted into postgraduate degrees.
If that wasn't the case I'd work part time and study full time. I need to dedicate 100% of my time to my current degree to have a chance at postgraduate.

Ya, well some people are jerks, lol. I actually worked part time all through full time university myself, but man, it sure would have been nice to not have, lol. I chose to move out from my parents' house early so had to work to support myself without screwing myself with too many loans... but that is just one of the legit options. Dude, stop caring so much about what other people think about your choices. I feel like you haven't had the greatest epiphany of adulthood: who cares what other people think???? Fuck 'em!!

I feel great shame when people ask me what I do with myself and I say I'm a full time student rather than giving an occupation.
I don't even know what I want to do after university. I feel like a lost soul in this world.
Thought I wanted to be a clinical psychologist when I went back to uni, now I am not sure it's for me. Plus I have my own shit that is unresolved. Not exactly the ideal practitioner. Not sure if academia/research is my thing either. I was thinking maybe social work but my fucking passion is art (even though I have been lost for painting ideas the past 3 weeks and have done nothing).

everyone is fucked up to a degree. psychologists are no different. I once read a psychologist say that they can be some of the MOST fucked up people! LOL

I'm 44. have a decent job, but it's not my passion. I just kind of lucked into it through working at the same place since I was 23 when I started in security.

when i was younger I always thought I was going to be a cop. Then in high school I thought I'd be a good accountant.

You know what I really want to be when I grow up? HAPPY. that's what. 

I like the people I work with, my job isn't stressful, the benefits/pension are out of this world, it puts food on the table and my girls in dance and me at concerts and my wife out for dinner and drinks with friends. I've come to appreciate this. People may think I have "settled" and I'm wasting my potential. I say "fuck you" to anyone that thinks they know what I want/need. it took me a long time to realize I need to stop giving a shit what people think. satisfying others will NEVER make you happy. it doesn't matter if it's a spouse, a friend, a peer, a parent. 

a guy I'm friends with once said to me "why don't you go back to school so you can make more money? don't you want your kids to want for nothing?". why, so they can see their dad miserable and non-engaging because he's too stressed out/busy with work like my dad was? yeah, no thanks. I'd rather play board games with my kids. 

what opened my eyes? a guy i went to high school with, I saw years later through work. He was an accountant. i asked him how he liked it. He said "I fucking hate it. I only do it because that's what my parents wanted me to do". 

I often see people I used to work with. They look at me with shock (and seeming disdain) when I tell them I still work there. Then I get the "lifer, eh?" comments, like it's something to be embarassed about. you know how I respond? "yep. why would I leave? it's a great place to work". if you respond to people like that with unapologetic, positive confidence, it shuts them down/up immediately. you simply cannot make fun of someone's happiness. 

if you are confident in the choices you've made for yourself then project that. 

What about "Happy wife, happy life"?

It's actually a good question. I think saying that satisfying others will never make one happy is a really misguided statement. This is far from a black and white issue. Doing things for others, and to place oneself in a position within a shared relationship where compromises are made is very human, healthy, and unavoidable unless you isolate yourself way too much. Black and white statements against that might just create more inner conflict rather than solve anything. I know what he meant, but yeah, I doubt there are too many truly happy people who revolve their entire lives around themselves and their own wants and needs alone.

And I think "happy wife, happy life" would be a great term, but only assuming people understand that it's meant as a reciprocal, circular kind of concept, lol.

I obviously meant "only satisfying others", at the sacrifice of your own happiness, will never make you happy. 

HesCalledDyer

OffSheGoes35 said:

Okay married folks, what do you think about these rules?

9a. When a man admits fault, do not begin your next sentence with "I just think it's funny how..."

HughFreakingDillon

PJ_Soul said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

oftenreading said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Forgot to add,
When my mum mentions my future children I tell her that it won't happen and she gets all sad and scared. 

Having children just because your mother wants grandchildren is one of the worst reasons to have children. They aren't accessories. 

Words of wisdom.

Never let bullshit societal norms or the desires of others force you into something you don't truly want for yourself.

Won't happen.
What is starting to get to me is people questioning my unemployed status. Is it a societal norm to work? 

Uh, well no, I wouldn't say that. I mean, yeah, people normally work which makes it normal in society. But people have to work to support themselves, feed themselves, clothe themselves, etc. But FYI, being a full time student is considered a job. It is very very normal for a full time student not to work. That's why student loans are so high, lol. So just tell people that when they ask about your unemployment status. If you stop being a full time student and still don't have a job, then you'll just be someone who doesn't support himself.

People are like 'well I went through university and held a part time job bla bla"
Psychology is so competitive that you need a very high GPA to get accepted into postgraduate degrees.
If that wasn't the case I'd work part time and study full time. I need to dedicate 100% of my time to my current degree to have a chance at postgraduate.

Ya, well some people are jerks, lol. I actually worked part time all through full time university myself, but man, it sure would have been nice to not have, lol. I chose to move out from my parents' house early so had to work to support myself without screwing myself with too many loans... but that is just one of the legit options. Dude, stop caring so much about what other people think about your choices. I feel like you haven't had the greatest epiphany of adulthood: who cares what other people think???? Fuck 'em!!

I feel great shame when people ask me what I do with myself and I say I'm a full time student rather than giving an occupation.
I don't even know what I want to do after university. I feel like a lost soul in this world.
Thought I wanted to be a clinical psychologist when I went back to uni, now I am not sure it's for me. Plus I have my own shit that is unresolved. Not exactly the ideal practitioner. Not sure if academia/research is my thing either. I was thinking maybe social work but my fucking passion is art (even though I have been lost for painting ideas the past 3 weeks and have done nothing).

everyone is fucked up to a degree. psychologists are no different. I once read a psychologist say that they can be some of the MOST fucked up people! LOL

I'm 44. have a decent job, but it's not my passion. I just kind of lucked into it through working at the same place since I was 23 when I started in security.

when i was younger I always thought I was going to be a cop. Then in high school I thought I'd be a good accountant.

You know what I really want to be when I grow up? HAPPY. that's what. 

I like the people I work with, my job isn't stressful, the benefits/pension are out of this world, it puts food on the table and my girls in dance and me at concerts and my wife out for dinner and drinks with friends. I've come to appreciate this. People may think I have "settled" and I'm wasting my potential. I say "fuck you" to anyone that thinks they know what I want/need. it took me a long time to realize I need to stop giving a shit what people think. satisfying others will NEVER make you happy. it doesn't matter if it's a spouse, a friend, a peer, a parent. 

a guy I'm friends with once said to me "why don't you go back to school so you can make more money? don't you want your kids to want for nothing?". why, so they can see their dad miserable and non-engaging because he's too stressed out/busy with work like my dad was? yeah, no thanks. I'd rather play board games with my kids. 

what opened my eyes? a guy i went to high school with, I saw years later through work. He was an accountant. i asked him how he liked it. He said "I fucking hate it. I only do it because that's what my parents wanted me to do". 

I often see people I used to work with. They look at me with shock (and seeming disdain) when I tell them I still work there. Then I get the "lifer, eh?" comments, like it's something to be embarassed about. you know how I respond? "yep. why would I leave? it's a great place to work". if you respond to people like that with unapologetic, positive confidence, it shuts them down/up immediately. you simply cannot make fun of someone's happiness. 

if you are confident in the choices you've made for yourself then project that. 

What about "Happy wife, happy life"?

It's actually a good question. I think saying that satisfying others will never make one happy is a really misguided statement. This is far from a black and white issue. Doing things for others, and to place oneself in a position within a shared relationship where compromises are made is very human, healthy, and unavoidable unless you isolate yourself way too much. Black and white statements against that might just create more inner conflict rather than solve anything. I know what he meant, but yeah, I doubt there are too many truly happy people who revolve their entire lives around themselves and their own wants and needs alone.

And I think "happy wife, happy life" would be a great term, but only assuming people understand that it's meant as a reciprocal, circular kind of concept, lol.

but that saying is absolutely not meant as reciprocal. it's a derogatory term meant to convey that if you keep your wife happy, she won't nag you, thereby making yourself happy. there's nothing circular about that term. 

HesCalledDyer

HughFreakingDillon said:

PJ_Soul said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

oftenreading said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Forgot to add,
When my mum mentions my future children I tell her that it won't happen and she gets all sad and scared. 

Having children just because your mother wants grandchildren is one of the worst reasons to have children. They aren't accessories. 

Words of wisdom.

Never let bullshit societal norms or the desires of others force you into something you don't truly want for yourself.

Won't happen.
What is starting to get to me is people questioning my unemployed status. Is it a societal norm to work? 

Uh, well no, I wouldn't say that. I mean, yeah, people normally work which makes it normal in society. But people have to work to support themselves, feed themselves, clothe themselves, etc. But FYI, being a full time student is considered a job. It is very very normal for a full time student not to work. That's why student loans are so high, lol. So just tell people that when they ask about your unemployment status. If you stop being a full time student and still don't have a job, then you'll just be someone who doesn't support himself.

People are like 'well I went through university and held a part time job bla bla"
Psychology is so competitive that you need a very high GPA to get accepted into postgraduate degrees.
If that wasn't the case I'd work part time and study full time. I need to dedicate 100% of my time to my current degree to have a chance at postgraduate.

Ya, well some people are jerks, lol. I actually worked part time all through full time university myself, but man, it sure would have been nice to not have, lol. I chose to move out from my parents' house early so had to work to support myself without screwing myself with too many loans... but that is just one of the legit options. Dude, stop caring so much about what other people think about your choices. I feel like you haven't had the greatest epiphany of adulthood: who cares what other people think???? Fuck 'em!!

I feel great shame when people ask me what I do with myself and I say I'm a full time student rather than giving an occupation.
I don't even know what I want to do after university. I feel like a lost soul in this world.
Thought I wanted to be a clinical psychologist when I went back to uni, now I am not sure it's for me. Plus I have my own shit that is unresolved. Not exactly the ideal practitioner. Not sure if academia/research is my thing either. I was thinking maybe social work but my fucking passion is art (even though I have been lost for painting ideas the past 3 weeks and have done nothing).

everyone is fucked up to a degree. psychologists are no different. I once read a psychologist say that they can be some of the MOST fucked up people! LOL

I'm 44. have a decent job, but it's not my passion. I just kind of lucked into it through working at the same place since I was 23 when I started in security.

when i was younger I always thought I was going to be a cop. Then in high school I thought I'd be a good accountant.

You know what I really want to be when I grow up? HAPPY. that's what. 

I like the people I work with, my job isn't stressful, the benefits/pension are out of this world, it puts food on the table and my girls in dance and me at concerts and my wife out for dinner and drinks with friends. I've come to appreciate this. People may think I have "settled" and I'm wasting my potential. I say "fuck you" to anyone that thinks they know what I want/need. it took me a long time to realize I need to stop giving a shit what people think. satisfying others will NEVER make you happy. it doesn't matter if it's a spouse, a friend, a peer, a parent. 

a guy I'm friends with once said to me "why don't you go back to school so you can make more money? don't you want your kids to want for nothing?". why, so they can see their dad miserable and non-engaging because he's too stressed out/busy with work like my dad was? yeah, no thanks. I'd rather play board games with my kids. 

what opened my eyes? a guy i went to high school with, I saw years later through work. He was an accountant. i asked him how he liked it. He said "I fucking hate it. I only do it because that's what my parents wanted me to do". 

I often see people I used to work with. They look at me with shock (and seeming disdain) when I tell them I still work there. Then I get the "lifer, eh?" comments, like it's something to be embarassed about. you know how I respond? "yep. why would I leave? it's a great place to work". if you respond to people like that with unapologetic, positive confidence, it shuts them down/up immediately. you simply cannot make fun of someone's happiness. 

if you are confident in the choices you've made for yourself then project that. 

What about "Happy wife, happy life"?

It's actually a good question. I think saying that satisfying others will never make one happy is a really misguided statement. This is far from a black and white issue. Doing things for others, and to place oneself in a position within a shared relationship where compromises are made is very human, healthy, and unavoidable unless you isolate yourself way too much. Black and white statements against that might just create more inner conflict rather than solve anything. I know what he meant, but yeah, I doubt there are too many truly happy people who revolve their entire lives around themselves and their own wants and needs alone.

And I think "happy wife, happy life" would be a great term, but only assuming people understand that it's meant as a reciprocal, circular kind of concept, lol.

but that saying is absolutely not meant as reciprocal. it's a derogatory term meant to convey that if you keep your wife happy, she won't nag you, thereby making yourself happy. there's nothing circular about that term. 

Yep, it's often brought up in the "FRAMED POSTER THREAD"

HughFreakingDillon

HesCalledDyer said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

PJ_Soul said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

oftenreading said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Forgot to add,
When my mum mentions my future children I tell her that it won't happen and she gets all sad and scared. 

Having children just because your mother wants grandchildren is one of the worst reasons to have children. They aren't accessories. 

Words of wisdom.

Never let bullshit societal norms or the desires of others force you into something you don't truly want for yourself.

Won't happen.
What is starting to get to me is people questioning my unemployed status. Is it a societal norm to work? 

Uh, well no, I wouldn't say that. I mean, yeah, people normally work which makes it normal in society. But people have to work to support themselves, feed themselves, clothe themselves, etc. But FYI, being a full time student is considered a job. It is very very normal for a full time student not to work. That's why student loans are so high, lol. So just tell people that when they ask about your unemployment status. If you stop being a full time student and still don't have a job, then you'll just be someone who doesn't support himself.

People are like 'well I went through university and held a part time job bla bla"
Psychology is so competitive that you need a very high GPA to get accepted into postgraduate degrees.
If that wasn't the case I'd work part time and study full time. I need to dedicate 100% of my time to my current degree to have a chance at postgraduate.

Ya, well some people are jerks, lol. I actually worked part time all through full time university myself, but man, it sure would have been nice to not have, lol. I chose to move out from my parents' house early so had to work to support myself without screwing myself with too many loans... but that is just one of the legit options. Dude, stop caring so much about what other people think about your choices. I feel like you haven't had the greatest epiphany of adulthood: who cares what other people think???? Fuck 'em!!

I feel great shame when people ask me what I do with myself and I say I'm a full time student rather than giving an occupation.
I don't even know what I want to do after university. I feel like a lost soul in this world.
Thought I wanted to be a clinical psychologist when I went back to uni, now I am not sure it's for me. Plus I have my own shit that is unresolved. Not exactly the ideal practitioner. Not sure if academia/research is my thing either. I was thinking maybe social work but my fucking passion is art (even though I have been lost for painting ideas the past 3 weeks and have done nothing).

everyone is fucked up to a degree. psychologists are no different. I once read a psychologist say that they can be some of the MOST fucked up people! LOL

I'm 44. have a decent job, but it's not my passion. I just kind of lucked into it through working at the same place since I was 23 when I started in security.

when i was younger I always thought I was going to be a cop. Then in high school I thought I'd be a good accountant.

You know what I really want to be when I grow up? HAPPY. that's what. 

I like the people I work with, my job isn't stressful, the benefits/pension are out of this world, it puts food on the table and my girls in dance and me at concerts and my wife out for dinner and drinks with friends. I've come to appreciate this. People may think I have "settled" and I'm wasting my potential. I say "fuck you" to anyone that thinks they know what I want/need. it took me a long time to realize I need to stop giving a shit what people think. satisfying others will NEVER make you happy. it doesn't matter if it's a spouse, a friend, a peer, a parent. 

a guy I'm friends with once said to me "why don't you go back to school so you can make more money? don't you want your kids to want for nothing?". why, so they can see their dad miserable and non-engaging because he's too stressed out/busy with work like my dad was? yeah, no thanks. I'd rather play board games with my kids. 

what opened my eyes? a guy i went to high school with, I saw years later through work. He was an accountant. i asked him how he liked it. He said "I fucking hate it. I only do it because that's what my parents wanted me to do". 

I often see people I used to work with. They look at me with shock (and seeming disdain) when I tell them I still work there. Then I get the "lifer, eh?" comments, like it's something to be embarassed about. you know how I respond? "yep. why would I leave? it's a great place to work". if you respond to people like that with unapologetic, positive confidence, it shuts them down/up immediately. you simply cannot make fun of someone's happiness. 

if you are confident in the choices you've made for yourself then project that. 

What about "Happy wife, happy life"?

It's actually a good question. I think saying that satisfying others will never make one happy is a really misguided statement. This is far from a black and white issue. Doing things for others, and to place oneself in a position within a shared relationship where compromises are made is very human, healthy, and unavoidable unless you isolate yourself way too much. Black and white statements against that might just create more inner conflict rather than solve anything. I know what he meant, but yeah, I doubt there are too many truly happy people who revolve their entire lives around themselves and their own wants and needs alone.

And I think "happy wife, happy life" would be a great term, but only assuming people understand that it's meant as a reciprocal, circular kind of concept, lol.

but that saying is absolutely not meant as reciprocal. it's a derogatory term meant to convey that if you keep your wife happy, she won't nag you, thereby making yourself happy. there's nothing circular about that term. 

Yep, it's often brought up in the "FRAMED POSTER THREAD"

LOL, I bet it is. i had my own spousal issues with spending $300+ on getting my EV Minnie print framed. 

rgambs

lastexitlondon said:

Are there ridiculously  cheery pearl jam fans?

Isnt that meltdown's function around here??

I kid.

For the record, successful relationships don't last because people are similar or opposite.
They last and are successful because people recognize and set aside the petty and selfish impulses we all have to hurt each other and the petty and selfish impulses we all have to find a reason to feel hurt.
It's really that simple.  
They don't say it's work because you have to struggle to put up with the person you married, it's work because it forces you to struggle to be a better person yourself.

dankind

Yes

rgambs said:

lastexitlondon said:

Are there ridiculously  cheery pearl jam fans?

Isnt that meltdown's function around here??

I kid.

For the record, successful relationships don't last because people are similar or opposite.
They last and are successful because people recognize and set aside the petty and selfish impulses we all have to hurt each other and the petty and selfish impulses we all have to find a reason to feel hurt.
It's really that simple.  
They don't say it's work because you have to struggle to put up with the person you married, it's work because it forces you to struggle to be a better person yourself.

Also, you've gotta fuck a lot.

rgambs

dankind said:

rgambs said:

lastexitlondon said:

Are there ridiculously  cheery pearl jam fans?

Isnt that meltdown's function around here??

I kid.

For the record, successful relationships don't last because people are similar or opposite.
They last and are successful because people recognize and set aside the petty and selfish impulses we all have to hurt each other and the petty and selfish impulses we all have to find a reason to feel hurt.
It's really that simple.  
They don't say it's work because you have to struggle to put up with the person you married, it's work because it forces you to struggle to be a better person yourself.

Also, you've gotta fuck a lot.

dankind said:

rgambs said:

lastexitlondon said:

Are there ridiculously  cheery pearl jam fans?

Isnt that meltdown's function around here??

I kid.

For the record, successful relationships don't last because people are similar or opposite.
They last and are successful because people recognize and set aside the petty and selfish impulses we all have to hurt each other and the petty and selfish impulses we all have to find a reason to feel hurt.
It's really that simple.  
They don't say it's work because you have to struggle to put up with the person you married, it's work because it forces you to struggle to be a better person yourself.

Also, you've gotta fuck a lot.

I do believe that to be true lol

Although in a good and physically healthy relationship, that's an effect rather than a cause, you know?

rgambs

As in, if you really take care of each other otherwise, human nature will keep the trains running on time in that department.

OffSheGoes35

No

HesCalledDyer said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

Okay married folks, what do you think about these rules?

9a. When a man admits fault, do not begin your next sentence with "I just think it's funny how..."

That means you were very very much at fault, and you made someone very very angry. Sometimes admitting fault just ain't enough. The adrenaline is still pumping--- you're past the point of admitting fault, you have to admit defeat. 
https://youtu.be/iiq5tnzmLBM