My Pearl Jam buddy, my son, passed away

ski-bumski-bum Posts: 841
edited September 2018 in The Porch

   You never know what morning you may wake up and your entire life will change in an instant. That’s what happened to us on the morning of April 27, 2007. That’s right; it’s taken me eleven years to be able to put this down on paper.

  I was walking into work, that morning when I got a call from my wife. She couldn’t wake up our eighteen year old son Matthew. He was in a coma; the paramedics were on their way. He was being rushed to Boston Children’s hospital. Driving there, my stomach was in such a knot, that I couldn’t sit back in my chair for the entire trip. Upon arriving at BC hospital, we were informed that Matt had contracted a rare virus called ADEM (Acute Disseminated Encephalomyelitis) and Matt had the worst case they’d ever seen. It’s a virus that destroys the protective membrane around the brain causing it to swell. They would try to counter it with high doses of Steroids, but were really already too late. Three days later, we were informed that there was no longer any hope and we removed him from life support.

 Here was our son that played hockey and skied black diamond runs with me, couldn’t even have screamed for help that night. Every time I hear the line from Floyd’s  song “Brain Damage“ (“You shout and no one seems to hear”) it gives me chills.

He was supposed to be attending his high school senior prom that day.

We were crushed, but didn’t want his life to go in vain. We started a fund at Boston Children’s Hospital “The Matthew Ian Wayne Neurological Research Endowment Fund” which has risen over $74,000. This money helped Boston Children’s Hospital in building an entire wing dedicated to Neurological research and I’m sure Matt would be proud to be part of that.

Matt was my Pearl Jam buddy, who attended all the Boston shows with me. His last show was at the BankNorth Garden on May 24, 2006.  That night you performed Bob Dylan’s classic “Forever Young”. It seems surreal that this was the first and only night you’ve ever performed it.  Eleven months from that show Matt passed but he will always be our eighteen year old son. He’ll always be “Forever Young” in our hearts. I have it tattooed on my arm above his angel.

My wife and I will be at the Boston, Fenway shows this September. If you would please pull this Dylan classic out for one more time, and dedicate “Forever Young” to Matt, I’d be forever in your debt.

Matt became our Roskilde Festival and it makes you truly think just how fragile life is. I know exactly what Eddie is talking about when he says he can “feel” his Dad sometimes. I can certainly feel my son with me and know he’ll be at the Fenway shows with us.

9/15/98 - Great Woods................9/29/04 - Fleet Center.....................8/02/08 - Opera House (EV)............10/16/13 - DCU Center
8/29/00 - Tweeter Center............5/24/06 - Banknorth Garden............5/17/10 - Banknorth Garden.............08/05/16 - Fenway Park
7/11/03 - Tweeter Center............5/25/06 - Banknorth Garden............6/16/11 - Wang Theatre (EV)............08/07/16 - Fenway Park
9/28/04 - Fleet Center................6/30/08 - Tweeter Center
Post edited by ski-bum on


  • PeArLgOoNeRPeArLgOoNeR Posts: 926
    It's a fragile thing this life we lead..
    Thank you for opening up.. I know that's not easy!

    Hamburg 2000, Berlin 2006, Copenhagen 2007, Berlin 2009, Berlin 2010, Berlin 1+2 2012, Copenhagen 2012, Amsterdam 1+2 2014, Vienna 2014, Berlin 2014, Prague 2018, Krakow 2018
  • SaravaSarava Naperville, ILPosts: 1,555
    Thank you for telling us the story. I hope they play Forever Young for Matt.
  • willbarclaywillbarclay Ottawa, Canada Posts: 2,616
    Heartbreaking. I can't imagine the pain. Good luck with this my friend. 
  • Thanks for sharing. So sorry for your loss. I hope they play this for you.
    4/30/03 7/8/03 7/9/03 7/14/03 9/28/04 9/29/04 9/15/05 5/13/06 6/01/06 6/02/06 6/24/08 6/25/08 6/27/08 7/1/08 8/4/08 8/5/08 6/8/09 5/19/2010 5/20/2010 5/21/2010 6/22/2011 10/25/2013 8/5/2016
  • DrdealDrdeal Posts: 494
    Heartbreaking story. Sorry for your loss. I hope the band reads this and Forever Young makes an appearance at Fenway.  
  • SuziemaySuziemay Posts: 11,146
    I’m so sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing. I hope your wish is granted. Lots of love <3
  • PapPap Serres, GreecePosts: 20,577
    Sorry for your loss. PJ, please play Forever Young for the eternally young Matt. :prayer:
    Ooh, yeah! All right!
    Were [Pearl] jammin
    I wanna [Pearl] jam it wid you.
    Were [Pearl] jammin, [Pearl] jammin
    And I hope you like [Pearl] jammin too.

    Sep 30, 2006 - OAKA Sports Hall - Athens, Greece
    Jul 11, 2014 - Milton Keynes Bowl - Milton Keynes, UK
  • PJNBPJNB New BrunswickPosts: 4,288
    Sorry this happened to your family and hope you get your wish. 
    2013 Worcester 1 & 2
    2016 Quebec, Toronto 2, Fenway 1&2, Wrigley 2
    2018 Prague, Krakow, Berlin, Seattle 2, Wrigley 2, Fenway 1&2 

    2017 Firenze, Taormina 1 & 2
  • I just read this and I am really sorry for your loss. I hope you get your song.
  • D-RodD-Rod Posts: 263
    This needs to happen 
    Maple Leaf Gardens, Toronto 1996
    Copp's Coliseum, Hamilton 2005
    Air Canada Centre 1, Toronto 2011
    Air Canada Centre 2, Toronto 2011
    Copp's Coliseum, Hamilton 2011
    Budweiser Gardens, London 2013
    First Niagara Centre, Buffalo 2013
    Joe Louis Arena, Detroit 2014
    Air Canada Centre 1, Toronto 2016
    Air Canada Centre 2, Toronto 2016
    Fenway Park 1, Boston 2016
    Fenway park 2, Boston 2016
    Wrigley Field 1, Chicago 2016
    Safeco Field 1, Seattle 2018
    Safeco Field 2, Seattle 2018 
  • nalyd61nalyd61 BostonPosts: 520
    Forever Young
  • on2legson2legs The Jersey ShorePosts: 7,601
    I just read this and I am really sorry for your loss. I hope you get your song.

    Hoping this gets the attention of the right people and you get it to hear it.  
    1996: Randall's Island 2
    1998: East Rutherford, MSG 1 & 2
    2000: Cincinnati, Columbus, Jones Beach 1, 2, & 3, Boston 1, Camden 1 & 2
    2003: Philadelphia, Uniondale, MSG 1 & 2, Holmdel
    2005: Atlantic City 1
    2006: Camden 1, East Rutherford 1 & 2
    2008: Camden 1 & 2, MSG 1 & 2, Newark(EV)
    2009: Philadelphia 1, 2, & 4
    2010: Newark, MSG 1 & 2
    2011: Toronto 1
    2013: Wrigley Field, Brooklyn 2, Philadelphia 1 & 2, Baltimore
    2015: Central Park
    2016: Philadelphia 1 & 2, MSG 1 & 2, Fenway Park 2, MSG(TOTD)
    2017: Brooklyn(RnRHOF)
  • Peasant TentsPeasant Tents UKPosts: 593
    So sorry for your loss. I hope Forever Young is played for you guys.
  • PureandEasyPureandEasy Posts: 5,243
    I hope you get the song at Fenway. So sorry for your family.  
  • link93link93 Posts: 188
    Thanks for sharing. You never know what each day will bring. Sounds like you had a great son. I take my 2 oldest sons to shows with me and it builds a special connection with your family. Hope you get your song. 
  • camsjamcamsjam Posts: 340
    Hearts and thoughts to you! So sorry for your loss. Hope you hear it again.
  • jjflashjjflash Posts: 3,699
    ski-bum, thanks for sharing this and for the reminder of how precious life really is. Your story brought tears to my eyes. Much love to you and your wife and hope you get to hear Forever Young for Matt.
  • PoncierPoncier Posts: 9,087
    Jeez man what a heartbreaking loss. No warning, and Children's Hospital which is one of the best of its kind basically helpless, that's got to be tough to come to grips with. All my best to you and your wife, here's hoping you get the song played.

    This weekend we rock Portland
  • jpdannabellejpdannabelle Posts: 555
    Can’t imagine what you’ve been going through since that day. I hope you get your wish. Let’s try and keep this thread at the top. *Bump for Matt*
  • SJD3232SJD3232 Posts: 1,898
    God. Thank you for sharing.  Our first son is on 5 1/2 months old and I cannot imagine the pain you feel.  Again, thank you for sharing. I really hope they make this happen for you, your wife, and your beloved son.
  • PP193448PP193448 Springboro, OHPosts: 3,860
    No words... except please play this song dedicated to Matt
    2006 Clev,Pitt; 2008 NY MSGx2; 2010 Columbus; 2012 Missoula; 2013 Phoenix,Vancouver,Seattle; 2014 Cincy; 2016 Lex, Wrigley 1&2; 2018 Wrigley 1&2
  • Ray J. T.Ray J. T. Posts: 3,521
    I am deeply sorry for your loss, i can't even begin to imagine the pain that is felt with a loss like this. I truly hope that this request gets filled in Boston for you and your family. Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. 
  • pierj53pierj53 Posts: 294
    Please play this and thank you for sharing your story.
  • iwasatpj20iwasatpj20 Rockford, ILPosts: 2,907
    Sorry to hear this, praying for you.
    2000 - Chicago, IL
    2003 - Champaign, IL
    2006 - Chicago, IL 1 & 2
    2007 - Chicago, IL Lollapalooza
    2009 - Chicago, IL 1 & 2
    2010 - Saint Louis, MO
    2011 - East Troy, WI 1 & 2 (PJ20 Destination Weekend)
    2012 - Atlanta, GA, Missoula, MT
    2013 - Chicago, IL (Wrigley Field), Dallas, TX, Oklahoma City, OK
    2014 - Saint Louis, MO, Tulsa, OK, Moline, IL (No Code, IL), Saint Paul, MN, Milwaukee, WI (Yield, WI)
    2016 - Greenville, SC (Vs, SC), Raleigh, NC, Columbia, SC, Boston, MA (Fenway Park 1), Chicago, IL (Wrigley Field 1 & 2)
    2018 - Seattle, WA (Safeco Field 2), Chicago, IL (Wrigley Field 1 & 2), Boston, MA (Fenway Park 2)

    2012 - Temple of the Dog East Troy, WI (PJ20 Destination Weekend)
    2014 - Soundgarden Tinley Park, IL (with Nine Inch Nails)
    2014 - Alice in Chains Davenport, IA
    2016 - Chris Cornell Solo Madison, WI and Peoria, IL (official hometown show)
    2016 - Temple of the Dog San Francisco, CA (both shows)
    2018 - Smashing Pumpkins Chicago, IL (first show)

    RIP Andrew Wood, Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley, and Chris Cornell

    RIP Mom (may your star shine the brightest in the sky, our family loves and misses you very much, we'll meet again)

  • jstu39jstu39 Posts: 60
    Heartbreaking. I hope you get what you want and find peace. 
  • Release EVRelease EV Posts: 1,676
    Forever Young
  • ChrisileinChrisilein Vienna/AustriaPosts: 3,687
    Forever young
    up here in my tree in vienna
    2006: Vienna
    2009: Berlin
    2010: London ~ Berlin
    2012: Amsterdam 1 & 2 ~ Werchter ~ Arras ~ Berlin 1 & 2
    2014: Milano ~ Trieste ~ Vienna ~ Berlin
    2018: Padova ~ Rome

    EV London/Hammersmith 2012
    EV Berlin/Zitadelle 2017
  • deftonesdeftones Athens, GreecePosts: 2,431
    So sorry for your loss. There are no words.
    ATHENS / 30-9-2006, MANCHESTER / 20-6-2012, MANCHESTER / 21-6-2012, AMSTERDAM / 16-6-2014, AMSTERDAM / 17-6-2014, AMSTERDAM / 12-6-2018, AMSTERDAM / 13-6-2018, PRAGUE / 1-7-2018, KRAKOW / 3-7-2018, BERLIN / 5-7-2018
  • AponeApone Posts: 169
    Really hope you get your wish for this song.  It's a heartbreaking story and every parents worst nightmare.
    2006: Leeds
    2012: Manchester 1
    2014: Leeds
    2017: London 1 (EV)
    2018: Amsterdam 1, London 1, London 2
  • PapPap Serres, GreecePosts: 20,577

    Ooh, yeah! All right!
    Were [Pearl] jammin
    I wanna [Pearl] jam it wid you.
    Were [Pearl] jammin, [Pearl] jammin
    And I hope you like [Pearl] jammin too.

    Sep 30, 2006 - OAKA Sports Hall - Athens, Greece
    Jul 11, 2014 - Milton Keynes Bowl - Milton Keynes, UK
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