My step father and father died from the same cancer. I had to sue my dad's wife for fraud for deathbed signatures where she had him give her everything. It causes a ton of stress in my life. So much so I am on high blood pressure meds. My blood numbers are run every six months and are perfect. The stress is not at a perfect level. I am still dealing with it.
I can really relate to this, as my stepmother pulled the same shit the week before my dad died from cancer, while in hospice. I harbored much hate for her, for her heartlessness. It wasn't necessarily about money but her acrimony and manipulation of him, and keeping treasured items that were precious to my sister and me. But...I'll take the memories of him over anything else, any day.
I'll admit that occasionally I check the Palm Desert obits to see if the old witch has kicked the bucket yet.
wow, hedo is saucy this Friday morn!
when my dad's dad died, my dad's brother's common law wife's family all came in and raided his house. by the time we got done mourning, there was barely anything left. it disgusted me to my core. it wasn't even HER, it was her family. I mean, basically fucking strangers. but after while I realized none of that shit mattered anyway, like you said, the memories are what mattered.
People's true colors come out when a family member dies. When my grandma died, I had a huge problem with the way her 6 sons and daughters dealt with the passing out of her stuff. It caused a lot of tension between my dad and I for a long time. He called the cops on his own sister and brother in law over a $50 braclet. Granted , my aunt was being a complete bitch. But by the time I knew what was going on, my dad had his gun in his hip. I said are you really fucking serious? You're going to threaten them with a gun? It's your fucking sister and it's a piece of shit braclet. It was a mess. They still don't talk and it's been 3 years this month.
Or in your case, an in law and her family. Which is so odd. How did the actual relation of hour grandpa let them even in the house? I get you're all in mourning and dealing with funeral arrangements, but damn, letting strangers in like that seems odd too.
my dad's brother could be a bit of a snake when he wanted something. he probably had something to do with convincing my grandfather's wife to let them in and have at it.
"Oh Canada...you're beautiful when you're drunk" -EV 8/14/93
Nice choice there, DK...might be a Waits weekend here.
Gotta love the vulture mentality. Ultimately, it's just STUFF. I mean, I would've loved to have my dad's watch from the '30s, though I've managed to live without it so far. Instead, I received a box with some old photos (appreciated those immensely) and a handful of teeth....? (weirded me the fuck out!)
It's bad enough most people don't respect each other in the every-day shit, but when a life, a loved one, has been lost? Act with grace, for chrissakes.
When I was busy getting married, my mother and her fellow addicts robbed her mother's (my grandmother's) house and sold the goods for crack. That was the price my grandmother paid for seeing her grandson get married. She had bought my mother a plane ticket to come to the wedding and everything, but my mother had other plans. I got inmate mail for a while from her. One day I'll open it.
Family is fucked up.
Omg... dankkind that's horrible. Your poor grandma, what a shock for her. I'm really sorry for you, I can't even imagine how awful you must feel about what happened. I'm feeling really sorry for you. I hope for your grandma and mother that she gets the chance to become sober and clear and then sincerely apologise to your grandma for what she has done to her own mother and child. (As long as she still can do it). And for you, I hope you are able to forgive someday.
When I was busy getting married, my mother and her fellow addicts robbed her mother's (my grandmother's) house and sold the goods for crack. That was the price my grandmother paid for seeing her grandson get married. She had bought my mother a plane ticket to come to the wedding and everything, but my mother had other plans. I got inmate mail for a while from her. One day I'll open it.
Family is fucked up.
Omg... dankkind that's horrible. Your poor grandma, what a shock for her. I'm really sorry for you, I can't even imagine how awful you must feel about what happened. I'm feeling really sorry for you. I hope for your grandma and mother that she gets the chance to become sober and clear and then sincerely apologise to your grandma for what she has done to her own mother and child. (As long as she still can do it). And for you, I hope you are able to forgive someday.
I don't think it was a shock for my grandma; she may have even been expecting it. Mom has been sober for a while now (maybe even more than 10 years) -- or so she says. She's batshit crazy, so it's hard to tell. And I don't know if anyone will ever believe her again when it comes to her claims about her sobriety, but that's her cross to bear and she deserves it.
She's apologized to everyone, of course. It is what it is. We all have holiday meals together and love one another. We're family.
And thankfully, I live far away and don't have to deal with any of the day to day. But I'd be lying if I said that I don't feel guilty leaving my grandmother to bear that burden on her own.
Ok, I didn't realise it was happening so long ago. Still a shit situation, but it sounds like you are dealing ok with it. Wishing all the best for your Grandma Dankind.
0
goldrush
everybody knows this is nowhere Posts: 7,578
edited March 2018
I'm Chris, 41, although it's only really people in work that call me that. My forum name is from the Neil Young album title. I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up...
I was born and raised in beautiful South Wales. I used to be able to speak Welsh, but it's been a long time since I could pull off a conversation. I did the whole buy-a-house-and-settle-down thing in my early 20s. When that all fell apart I 'ran away from home' two days after my 30th birthday. It was my first time on a plane and I came to Australia! On my first day in Aus I dumped my bags in a Sydney hostel and got a train to Newcastle for the legendary PJ show. Sydney is home now.
Spent a year as a backpacker in Australia, New Zealand and South America. Did the usual crazy shit, mostly involving an obscene amount of alcohol and jumping off / out of things (sky diving, bungee jumping, hanggliding, abseiling, rafting, the usual...)
We got engaged in Reykjavik, Iceland, and married in Sydney. We've been married for almost 8 years now, and our son will be turning 4 next month. It can be tough being so far away from friends and family, especially as my parents are getting older. Our son is their only grandchild so it's tough for them too, but they see each other every week on FaceTime.
I try to keep my life as stress-free as possible. I'm not good with confrontation, so I'll tend to walk away and shake it off (maybe that's why I'm rarely in AMT, this place can be scary!) I'm torn on the whole social media thing. I use Facebook to keep in touch with people back home, but the place is full of assholes and I'm terrified of my son being bullied when he eventually gets online. Kids can be evil little shits sometimes. I use Instagram but I never post photos of food or my son, just random shit!
I've been lucky enough see most of my favourite bands live. There's not really anyone left on the list that I have to see, so any new gigs now are a bonus. I've seen PJ 15 times in 4 different countries, and Ed solo 4 times. That's really not that much compared others on here, but I've got my own personal Holy Trinity of small PJ club shows (Astoria 06, The Vic 07, and SheBu 09) that will be hard to beat.
A strong case can be made for the first 45 seconds of 'Old Man' by Neil Young being my favourite music of all time.
Post edited by goldrush on
“Do not postpone happiness”
(Jeff Tweedy, Sydney 2007)
I've been clean and sober for 7 years this year. That's one of my biggest and proudest achievements in life. Chris Cornell's death hit me hard then.
Hey Congratulations Conor be very proud of yourself...I know what you mean about Chris Death hitting you hard...it hit me hard too so I know exactly where you are coming from...and hey be proud of yourself...also Smile because this makes me Smile...so much respect for you for achieving this
Hey just incase you missed it...I posted this a few days ago
I've been clean and sober for 7 years this year. That's one of my biggest and proudest achievements in life. Chris Cornell's death hit me hard then.
Hey Congratulations Conor be very proud of yourself...I know what you mean about Chris Death hitting you hard...it hit me hard too so I know exactly where you are coming from...and hey be proud of yourself...also Smile because this makes me Smile...so much respect for you for achieving this...well done
I've been clean and sober for 7 years this year. That's one of my biggest and proudest achievements in life. Chris Cornell's death hit me hard then.
You sir are an inspiration and i also have been affected very badly by chris's death. Broke my heart
Things will get Better Lastexit...yes I know it's hard I can just imagine what Chris Death did to you because I felt very similar such a sad moment which made me very sad and affected me too so I know exactly what you mean...just think Positive ok and don't give up...I know it's hard but just believe in yourself ok it will be hard but you will get there...I send you Positive thoughts
Thank you my friend. Keep fighting and get out there and meet someone worthy of your heart. There are lots of lovely people in the world never far away.
Post edited by lastexitlondon on
brixton 93
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Thank you my friend. Keep fighting and get out there and meet someone worthy of your heart. There are lots of lovely people in the world never far away.
You're welcome man...and Thank you for your kind words that means a lot to me...what I've been through especially these past couple of years I still remain positive
I've been clean and sober for 7 years this year. That's one of my biggest and proudest achievements in life. Chris Cornell's death hit me hard then.
Hey Congratulations Conor be very proud of yourself...I know what you mean about Chris Death hitting you hard...it hit me hard too so I know exactly where you are coming from...and hey be proud of yourself...also Smile because this makes me Smile...so much respect for you for achieving this...well done
2000- Atlanta, GA: New Orleans, LA: Memphis, TN: Nashville, TN
2003- Raleigh, NC: Charlotte, NC: Atlanta, GA
2004- Asheville, NC (hometown show)
2006- Cincinnati, OH
2008- Columbia, SC
2009- Chicago, IL x 2 / Ed Vedder- Atlanta, GA x 2
2010- Bristow, VA
2011- Alpine Valley, WI (PJ20) x 2 / Ed Vedder- Chicago, IL
2012- Atlanta, GA
2013- Charlotte, NC
2014- Cincinnati, OH
2015- New York, NY
2016- Greenville, SC: Hampton, VA:: Columbia, SC: Raleigh, NC : Lexington, KY: Philly, PA 2: (Wrigley) Chicago, IL x 2 (holy shit): Temple of the Dog- Philly, PA
Nice to read about some of the people on the board. Not like the good old days but hey, everything changes.
I am me. We enjoy allowing visitors to our country who are here to see PJ to have free housing while they are here. Nobody has taken us up on that in a while, (boy did we have fun back in the day), but the offer is always out there. Disagreements and comments aside I enjoy meeting new people as we are all more civil in real life.
And yes Mr. Cincibearcat you do still owe me that beer! If you are reading this??
When I was busy getting married, my mother and her fellow addicts robbed her mother's (my grandmother's) house and sold the goods for crack. That was the price my grandmother paid for seeing her grandson get married. She had bought my mother a plane ticket to come to the wedding and everything, but my mother had other plans. I got inmate mail for a while from her. One day I'll open it.
Family is fucked up.
I just read this...I am so sorry to hear this...is your Grandmother ok?...I feel so sorry for her this sort of thing shouldn't happen...is She ok?...also I just hope your Mother can find a way to get herself better...
Are you ok?...I am so sorry for you...how are you dealing with this?...this is really messed up...I just hope that your Grandmother is ok and I hope that you are ok?
When I was busy getting married, my mother and her fellow addicts robbed her mother's (my grandmother's) house and sold the goods for crack. That was the price my grandmother paid for seeing her grandson get married. She had bought my mother a plane ticket to come to the wedding and everything, but my mother had other plans. I got inmate mail for a while from her. One day I'll open it.
Family is fucked up.
I just read this...I am so sorry to hear this...is your Grandmother ok?...I feel so sorry for her this sort of thing shouldn't happen...is She ok?
Are you ok?...this is really messed up...I just hope that your Grandmother is ok?
My grandmother is fine. She just recently split with her girlfriend of 40 years, so that's been a bit tough. Trump's America brought out too much that my grandmother saw fit to overlook (for love) and her ex saw fit to subdue (for love) for all those years.
My mother just moved in with her. We'll see how that goes.
When I was busy getting married, my mother and her fellow addicts robbed her mother's (my grandmother's) house and sold the goods for crack. That was the price my grandmother paid for seeing her grandson get married. She had bought my mother a plane ticket to come to the wedding and everything, but my mother had other plans. I got inmate mail for a while from her. One day I'll open it.
Family is fucked up.
I just read this...I am so sorry to hear this...is your Grandmother ok?...I feel so sorry for her this sort of thing shouldn't happen...is She ok?
Are you ok?...this is really messed up...I just hope that your Grandmother is ok?
My grandmother is fine. She just recently split with her girlfriend of 40 years, so that's been a bit tough. Trump's America brought out too much that my grandmother saw fit to overlook (for love) and her ex saw fit to subdue (for love) for all those years.
My mother just moved in with her. We'll see how that goes.
Like I said, family is fucked up.
I feel so sorry for you dankind...how are you feeling?...I just hope that she'll be ok...are you ok?
I just hope that your Mother can get better...I'm feeling sorry for you dankind...I hope that your Grandmother is ok?
That sort of thing shouldn't happen...just hope that you and your Grandmother will be ok?
i did not have the warmest reception when i started coming around here. people like byrnzie, el kabong, abook, commy, animus, hippiemom, windedsailor, pj gurl/triumphant angel, catefrances, metsfan, barroom hero, pychosinlove, jlewasu24, and a bunch of others now forgotten would light me up if i did not "come correct" with links and a reasoned argument. ....
just trying to keep you honest.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
i did not have the warmest reception when i started coming around here. people like byrnzie, el kabong, abook, commy, animus, hippiemom, windedsailor, pj gurl/triumphant angel, catefrances, metsfan, barroom hero, pychosinlove, jlewasu24, and a bunch of others now forgotten would light me up if i did not "come correct" with links and a reasoned argument.
wow holy fucking shit, talk about names from the old days. I feel humbled being mentioned. btw this is metsfan
Post edited by Gary Carter on
Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
Sammi: Wanna just break up?
i did not have the warmest reception when i started coming around here. people like byrnzie, el kabong, abook, commy, animus, hippiemom, windedsailor, pj gurl/triumphant angel, catefrances, metsfan, barroom hero, pychosinlove, jlewasu24, and a bunch of others now forgotten would light me up if i did not "come correct" with links and a reasoned argument.
wow holy fucking shit, talk about names from the old days. I feel humbled being mentioned. btw this is metsfan
Names from the past.... I had forgotten about some of these till seeing their names. I’ll never forget el kabong, abook, catefrances, byrnzie and of course hippiemom. Man I miss her on these boards.
Nice to read about some of the people on the board. Not like the good old days but hey, everything changes.
I am me. We enjoy allowing visitors to our country who are here to see PJ to have free housing while they are here. Nobody has taken us up on that in a while, (boy did we have fun back in the day), but the offer is always out there. Disagreements and comments aside I enjoy meeting new people as we are all more civil in real life.
And yes Mr. Cincibearcat you do still owe me that beer! If you are reading this??
I certainly do! Good times!
Going to Wrigley?
No I'm not doing Wrigley. But if you are, enjoy. Just waiting for the boys to say they are dragging their butts north of the border in September. Fingers crossed. Got a nice independent brewery within walking distance from our place now. Tempting isn't it?????
The poison from the poison stream caught up to you ELEVEN years ago and you floated out of here. Sept. 14, 08
Comments
-EV 8/14/93
Gotta love the vulture mentality. Ultimately, it's just STUFF. I mean, I would've loved to have my dad's watch from the '30s, though I've managed to live without it so far. Instead, I received a box with some old photos (appreciated those immensely) and a handful of teeth....? (weirded me the fuck out!)
It's bad enough most people don't respect each other in the every-day shit, but when a life, a loved one, has been lost? Act with grace, for chrissakes.
Omg... dankkind that's horrible.
I'm feeling really sorry for you. I hope for your grandma and mother that she gets the chance to become sober and clear and then sincerely apologise to your grandma for what she has done to her own mother and child. (As long as she still can do it).
And for you, I hope you are able to forgive someday.
I don't think it was a shock for my grandma; she may have even been expecting it. Mom has been sober for a while now (maybe even more than 10 years) -- or so she says. She's batshit crazy, so it's hard to tell. And I don't know if anyone will ever believe her again when it comes to her claims about her sobriety, but that's her cross to bear and she deserves it.
She's apologized to everyone, of course. It is what it is. We all have holiday meals together and love one another. We're family.
And thankfully, I live far away and don't have to deal with any of the day to day. But I'd be lying if I said that I don't feel guilty leaving my grandmother to bear that burden on her own.
Still a shit situation, but it sounds like you are dealing ok with it.
Wishing all the best for your Grandma Dankind.
I was born and raised in beautiful South Wales. I used to be able to speak Welsh, but it's been a long time since I could pull off a conversation. I did the whole buy-a-house-and-settle-down thing in my early 20s. When that all fell apart I 'ran away from home' two days after my 30th birthday. It was my first time on a plane and I came to Australia! On my first day in Aus I dumped my bags in a Sydney hostel and got a train to Newcastle for the legendary PJ show. Sydney is home now.
Spent a year as a backpacker in Australia, New Zealand and South America. Did the usual crazy shit, mostly involving an obscene amount of alcohol and jumping off / out of things (sky diving, bungee jumping, hanggliding, abseiling, rafting, the usual...)
We got engaged in Reykjavik, Iceland, and married in Sydney. We've been married for almost 8 years now, and our son will be turning 4 next month. It can be tough being so far away from friends and family, especially as my parents are getting older. Our son is their only grandchild so it's tough for them too, but they see each other every week on FaceTime.
I try to keep my life as stress-free as possible. I'm not good with confrontation, so I'll tend to walk away and shake it off (maybe that's why I'm rarely in AMT, this place can be scary!) I'm torn on the whole social media thing. I use Facebook to keep in touch with people back home, but the place is full of assholes and I'm terrified of my son being bullied when he eventually gets online. Kids can be evil little shits sometimes. I use Instagram but I never post photos of food or my son, just random shit!
I've been lucky enough see most of my favourite bands live. There's not really anyone left on the list that I have to see, so any new gigs now are a bonus. I've seen PJ 15 times in 4 different countries, and Ed solo 4 times. That's really not that much compared others on here, but I've got my own personal Holy Trinity of small PJ club shows (Astoria 06, The Vic 07, and SheBu 09) that will be hard to beat.
A strong case can be made for the first 45 seconds of 'Old Man' by Neil Young being my favourite music of all time.
(Jeff Tweedy, Sydney 2007)
“Put yer good money on the sunrise”
(Tim Rogers)
Hey just incase you missed it...I posted this a few days ago
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
It's hard to keep 'em down on the farm once they've seen me.
even if I look and act really crazy.
Halts Mau................
livefootsteps.org/user/?usr=446
1995- New Orleans, LA : New Orleans, LA
1996- Charleston, SC
1998- Atlanta, GA: Birmingham, AL: Greenville, SC: Knoxville, TN
2000- Atlanta, GA: New Orleans, LA: Memphis, TN: Nashville, TN
2003- Raleigh, NC: Charlotte, NC: Atlanta, GA
2004- Asheville, NC (hometown show)
2006- Cincinnati, OH
2008- Columbia, SC
2009- Chicago, IL x 2 / Ed Vedder- Atlanta, GA x 2
2010- Bristow, VA
2011- Alpine Valley, WI (PJ20) x 2 / Ed Vedder- Chicago, IL
2012- Atlanta, GA
2013- Charlotte, NC
2014- Cincinnati, OH
2015- New York, NY
2016- Greenville, SC: Hampton, VA:: Columbia, SC: Raleigh, NC : Lexington, KY: Philly, PA 2: (Wrigley) Chicago, IL x 2 (holy shit): Temple of the Dog- Philly, PA
2017- ED VED- Louisville, KY
2018- Chicago, IL x2, Boston, MA x2
2020- Nashville, TN
2022- Smashville
2023- Austin, TX x2
2024- Baltimore
Going to Wrigley?
I just read this...I am so sorry to hear this...is your Grandmother ok?...I feel so sorry for her this sort of thing shouldn't happen...is She ok?...also I just hope your Mother can find a way to get herself better...
Are you ok?...I am so sorry for you...how are you dealing with this?...this is really messed up...I just hope that your Grandmother is ok and I hope that you are ok?
My mother just moved in with her. We'll see how that goes.
Like I said, family is fucked up.
I feel so sorry for you dankind...how are you feeling?...I just hope that she'll be ok...are you ok?
I just hope that your Mother can get better...I'm feeling sorry for you dankind...I hope that your Grandmother is ok?That sort of thing shouldn't happen...just hope that you and your Grandmother will be ok?
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Sammi: Wanna just break up?
BOO!
Sammi: Wanna just break up?
No I'm not doing Wrigley. But if you are, enjoy. Just waiting for the boys to say they are dragging their butts north of the border in September. Fingers crossed. Got a nice independent brewery within walking distance from our place now. Tempting isn't it?????
The poison from the poison stream caught up to you ELEVEN years ago and you floated out of here. Sept. 14, 08
Who is Scrooge?