Are people generally becoming more rude/ less courteous?

brianlux

Honest question.  I hope the answer is "no".  Sadly, however, I'm noticing more and more people (sorry to say, especially younger people) are more and more rude.  What led me to ask this is a series of events recently.  Here are just a few recent examples:

-Yesterday a guy half my age driving a large pickup truck nearly ran me down in a cross walk and instead of saying, "Oops, sorry" he flipped me off.

-Twice yesterday while carrying a heavy load in the store, a young person (both were young women) either nearly ran me over or pushed me out of the way.

-Frequently, when carrying a box of books from my car to the store people on the street see me coming and refuse to more, even if  I politely excuse myself.  I have often had to step of the sidewalk onto the curb to pass.

-Today I was walking with some painting supplies in my arms from the store to the car and a young woman driver in the parking lot cut me off and looked at me like I was causing her inconvenience or interference. 

-Numerous times while trying to merge into traffic people will speed up quickly to close a gap that was plenty big enough to smoothly merge into traffic.

What's up with this?  Please tell me I wrong or unlucky or something!

PJfanwillneverleave1

^^^
You're not unlucky.  You're living in the USA that President Trump is and he wants it to stop. Drastic times call for drastic measures.

josevolution

Yes it's all the bafoon supporters they are rude as crap this is MAGA !

brianlux

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

^^^
You're not unlucky.  You're living in the USA that President Trump is and he wants it to stop. Drastic times call for drastic measures.

Assuming people are more courteous in Canada, I'm jealous that way!

curmudgeoness

I notice regional differences. I spent too many years in New Jersey, and there such behavior was standard, and driving seemed to get worse by the day. When we moved to the West Coast, my husband had to re-learn how to use his turn signal; NJ drivers saw a turn signal as a challenge to them to prevent anyone from changing lanes. We had to laugh when we read that some survey found LA and San Diego drivers are among the worst in the country. Granted, I did see a dude yesterday who was going 50 in the left lane, phone in his left hand, fiddling with his radio using his right hand, steering with his knees. But to date, nobody on the freeway here has tried to kill us, whereas in NJ encounters with angry people who would try to run us off the road were all too common.

I don't think it's necessarily generational. The rudest people I meet are, sorry guys, older white men; their sense of entitlement can be astounding.

brianlux

curmudgeoness said:

I notice regional differences. I spent too many years in New Jersey, and there such behavior was standard, and driving seemed to get worse by the day. When we moved to the West Coast, my husband had to re-learn how to use his turn signal; NJ drivers saw a turn signal as a challenge to them to prevent anyone from changing lanes. We had to laugh when we read that some survey found LA and San Diego drivers are among the worst in the country. Granted, I did see a dude yesterday who was going 50 in the left lane, phone in his left hand, fiddling with his radio using his right hand, steering with his knees. But to date, nobody on the freeway here has tried to kill us, whereas in NJ encounters with angry people who would try to run us off the road were all too common.

I don't think it's necessarily generational. The rudest people I meet are, sorry guys, older white men; their sense of entitlement can be astounding.

Older white guys are a pain in the ass.

(Oh, wait a minute.  You didn't hear me say that.  )

Go Beavers

This is a good topic that I think about fairly often because my town is very big on not being rude and instead being intentionally friendly with eye contact, saying hello when passing strangers, getting into conversations with strangers, and doing random acts of kindness. It's also kind of a thing to gripe about rude Californians in Oregon. It does seem very regional. Brian, I try not to generalize about people from Cali, but people with Cali plates tend to be bastards on the road, and they do come across as wound pretty tight/cold presentation. I actually had a conversation with a guy from the Bay area standing in GA waiting for the Jack Johnson show. He was younger, 19 or 20, and talked about how people move about with a rough demeanor there, but once you get through that initial barrier, they're nicer. We ended up having a nice conversation about a lot of mutual interests. 

brianlux

Go Beavers said:

This is a good topic that I think about fairly often because my town is very big on not being rude and instead being intentionally friendly with eye contact, saying hello when passing strangers, getting into conversations with strangers, and doing random acts of kindness. It's also kind of a thing to gripe about rude Californians in Oregon. It does seem very regional. Brian, I try not to generalize about people from Cali, but people with Cali plates tend to be bastards on the road, and they do come across as wound pretty tight/cold presentation. I actually had a conversation with a guy from the Bay area standing in GA waiting for the Jack Johnson show. He was younger, 19 or 20, and talked about how people move about with a rough demeanor there, but once you get through that initial barrier, they're nicer. We ended up having a nice conversation about a lot of mutual interests. 

Do you mind asking where your town is, or even just the county or state? 

Yes, California in general has become a place of rather aggressive behavior. 

About ten years ago, my wife and I traveled across country to visit friends.  We took mostly "blue highways", smaller roads that led through interesting places.  The best vibe I got with the friendliest people was in a small town (can't remember where, exactly) in Nebraska.  I thought, "If this weren't so far from an ocean, I could live here!"

PJfanwillneverleave1

Honestly though OP, society of America has become the battle to succeed no matter what.  To the detriment of the drivers on the road.

hedonist

It's funny, I've found that lack of courtesy spans across all ages, races, genders.  People are more and more in their own bubbles, mostly digital ones at that, and leaves them self-absorbed and unaware (or unwilling to see) other drivers, fellow shoppers, people who may need a door held for them, and on.

Agreed that LA drivers can be utter assholes, but all I can do is be considerate and drive defensively, eyes wide open.

Go Beavers

brianlux said:

Go Beavers said:

This is a good topic that I think about fairly often because my town is very big on not being rude and instead being intentionally friendly with eye contact, saying hello when passing strangers, getting into conversations with strangers, and doing random acts of kindness. It's also kind of a thing to gripe about rude Californians in Oregon. It does seem very regional. Brian, I try not to generalize about people from Cali, but people with Cali plates tend to be bastards on the road, and they do come across as wound pretty tight/cold presentation. I actually had a conversation with a guy from the Bay area standing in GA waiting for the Jack Johnson show. He was younger, 19 or 20, and talked about how people move about with a rough demeanor there, but once you get through that initial barrier, they're nicer. We ended up having a nice conversation about a lot of mutual interests. 

Do you mind asking where your town is, or even just the county or state? 

Yes, California in general has become a place of rather aggressive behavior. 

About ten years ago, my wife and I traveled across country to visit friends.  We took mostly "blue highways", smaller roads that led through interesting places.  The best vibe I got with the friendliest people was in a small town (can't remember where, exactly) in Nebraska.  I thought, "If this weren't so far from an ocean, I could live here!"

I live in Bend. It's interesting with the town really growing quickly over the last 15 years and seeing people's response to that. People from Cal get a bad rap, but I think that initially came from the issue of cheaper real estate here. They move to Oregon after selling their overly expensive house down there. People got pissed because they say them as driving up housing prices. In Portland there's a level of open hostility about it. This has led to a confirmation bias about Californians. If someone acts like a jerk and happens to be from Cali, then they are a "typical Californian". When someone from Washington is a jerk, they're just a jerk. 

brianlux

Go Beavers said:

brianlux said:

Go Beavers said:

This is a good topic that I think about fairly often because my town is very big on not being rude and instead being intentionally friendly with eye contact, saying hello when passing strangers, getting into conversations with strangers, and doing random acts of kindness. It's also kind of a thing to gripe about rude Californians in Oregon. It does seem very regional. Brian, I try not to generalize about people from Cali, but people with Cali plates tend to be bastards on the road, and they do come across as wound pretty tight/cold presentation. I actually had a conversation with a guy from the Bay area standing in GA waiting for the Jack Johnson show. He was younger, 19 or 20, and talked about how people move about with a rough demeanor there, but once you get through that initial barrier, they're nicer. We ended up having a nice conversation about a lot of mutual interests. 

Do you mind asking where your town is, or even just the county or state? 

Yes, California in general has become a place of rather aggressive behavior. 

About ten years ago, my wife and I traveled across country to visit friends.  We took mostly "blue highways", smaller roads that led through interesting places.  The best vibe I got with the friendliest people was in a small town (can't remember where, exactly) in Nebraska.  I thought, "If this weren't so far from an ocean, I could live here!"

I live in Bend. It's interesting with the town really growing quickly over the last 15 years and seeing people's response to that. People from Cal get a bad rap, but I think that initially came from the issue of cheaper real estate here. They move to Oregon after selling their overly expensive house down there. People got pissed because they say them as driving up housing prices. In Portland there's a level of open hostility about it. This has led to a confirmation bias about Californians. If someone acts like a jerk and happens to be from Cali, then they are a "typical Californian". When someone from Washington is a jerk, they're just a jerk. 

Thank you!  Very nice town but too far from the ocean for my liking. 

I moved to Washington for about 4 years to be with family and saw the population in that state explode.  This in the years right when Pearl Jam was starting up so, as one would obviously guess, it's Stone's fault ( )

I'm really hoping some day to live here in my home state of California (I'm one of those semi-rare people who was actually born here 66 years ago) within no more than 2 hours (at the very most) from the ocean in some place where people aren't so hostile. Placerville used to be both but increased population/traffic has made the distance too far and the people too aggressive.   And yet people still swarm to this state for god knows what reason. 

gimmesometruth27

yes brian. it is as bad now as i have ever seen it.

F Me In The Brain

Without a doubt, yes
Hold the door open for someone and half the time you get a surprised "Thanks!" and a quarter of the time you get no response.

I swear like a truck driver but not in crowded restaurants.  This is almost commonplace.  Went to take the three year old for lunch and the guys in the booth next to us (30-50 year old group) said fuck every other word at full volume.  Worse, I was the only one that seemed to even notice.  Luckily, the little guy was engaged in talking with me (asking me "why" a hundred times about everything) and didn't come home sharing a new favorite word.
My father would have told them to cut it, in short order.  I did not - because I knew it wasn't going to do any good, and because the boy wasn't bothering to listen to them.  Had my wife and 13 year old been there I'm betting I would not have been able to help myself.
Like I stated - I think swearing is fine....but why do it at full volume repeatedly with kids around?
Because people are getting less considerate of others every day that passes.

WhatYouTaughtMe

gimmesometruth27 said:

yes brian. it is as bad now as i have ever seen it.

Unfortunately true in my experience as well.

SmallestOceans

There's just no explaining the things people do sometimes...

Halifax2TheMax

A couple of my favorites:

the guy who parks diagonally across two parking parking spaces at the ATM, leaves the driver's side door fully opened and his shit music blasting at 9:00 am on a Saturday. If it were PJ blasting I'd aight with that.

the people who insist on standing in front of the doors on the T or subway, even if they're going 20 more stops. And the people who crowd the doors and try to board before people get off. Don't get me going about commuter rail passengers.

all that said, I try to be courteous and helpful throughout my day. Helping travelers transit rail subway stations, carrying bags up stairs for folks, always holding doors, giving up my seat, saying excuse me and thank you and you're welcome. Be the change you want to see. Do I get pissed off sometimes? Sure. But life's too short to sweat the small stuff and there are much bigger and more important issues to be worried or concerned about. Sometimes I want to be alone in the middle of nature. Will be there tomorrow.

brianlux

Sorry but not surprised to hear these stories.  It's not like we have to be sickeningly sweet to people either, just extend some basic common (now uncommon) courtesy to others.

PJ_Soul

I don't think so - I actually find Millenials to be more kind and courteous than Gen Xers as an entire group. Obviously, rude assholes have always existed and always will, but i don't think there is a higher percentage of them now. As with most things, we are simply more exposed to the assholes because of the internet.

Bentleyspop

brianlux said:

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

^^^
You're not unlucky.  You're living in the USA that President Trump is and he wants it to stop. Drastic times call for drastic measures.

Assuming people are more courteous in Canada, I'm jealous that way!

Nope there are a-holes and trolls everywhere. 
Canada included.

hedonist

Halifax2TheMax said:

A couple of my favorites:

the guy who parks diagonally across two parking parking spaces at the ATM, leaves the driver's side door fully opened and his shit music blasting at 9:00 am on a Saturday. If it were PJ blasting I'd aight with that.

the people who insist on standing in front of the doors on the T or subway, even if they're going 20 more stops. And the people who crowd the doors and try to board before people get off. Don't get me going about commuter rail passengers.

all that said, I try to be courteous and helpful throughout my day. Helping travelers transit rail subway stations, carrying bags up stairs for folks, always holding doors, giving up my seat, saying excuse me and thank you and you're welcome. Be the change you want to see. Do I get pissed off sometimes? Sure. But life's too short to sweat the small stuff and there are much bigger and more important issues to be worried or concerned about. Sometimes I want to be alone in the middle of nature. Will be there tomorrow.

Amen, my brother.  Breathe deeply of all of that energy tomorrow.

josevolution

Go Beavers said:

brianlux said:

Go Beavers said:

This is a good topic that I think about fairly often because my town is very big on not being rude and instead being intentionally friendly with eye contact, saying hello when passing strangers, getting into conversations with strangers, and doing random acts of kindness. It's also kind of a thing to gripe about rude Californians in Oregon. It does seem very regional. Brian, I try not to generalize about people from Cali, but people with Cali plates tend to be bastards on the road, and they do come across as wound pretty tight/cold presentation. I actually had a conversation with a guy from the Bay area standing in GA waiting for the Jack Johnson show. He was younger, 19 or 20, and talked about how people move about with a rough demeanor there, but once you get through that initial barrier, they're nicer. We ended up having a nice conversation about a lot of mutual interests. 

Do you mind asking where your town is, or even just the county or state? 

Yes, California in general has become a place of rather aggressive behavior. 

About ten years ago, my wife and I traveled across country to visit friends.  We took mostly "blue highways", smaller roads that led through interesting places.  The best vibe I got with the friendliest people was in a small town (can't remember where, exactly) in Nebraska.  I thought, "If this weren't so far from an ocean, I could live here!"

I live in Bend. It's interesting with the town really growing quickly over the last 15 years and seeing people's response to that. People from Cal get a bad rap, but I think that initially came from the issue of cheaper real estate here. They move to Oregon after selling their overly expensive house down there. People got pissed because they say them as driving up housing prices. In Portland there's a level of open hostility about it. This has led to a confirmation bias about Californians. If someone acts like a jerk and happens to be from Cali, then they are a "typical Californian". When someone from Washington is a jerk, they're just a jerk. 

Bend is awesome !

Spiritual_Chaos

brianlux said:

Honest question.  I hope the answer is "no".  Sadly, however, I'm noticing more and more people (sorry to say, especially younger people) are more and more rude.  What led me to ask this is a series of events recently.  Here are just a few recent examples:

-Yesterday a guy half my age driving a large pickup truck nearly ran me down in a cross walk and instead of saying, "Oops, sorry" he flipped me off.

-Twice yesterday while carrying a heavy load in the store, a young person (both were young women) either nearly ran me over or pushed me out of the way.

-Frequently, when carrying a box of books from my car to the store people on the street see me coming and refuse to more, even if  I politely excuse myself.  I have often had to step of the sidewalk onto the curb to pass.

-Today I was walking with some painting supplies in my arms from the store to the car and a young woman driver in the parking lot cut me off and looked at me like I was causing her inconvenience or interference. 

-Numerous times while trying to merge into traffic people will speed up quickly to close a gap that was plenty big enough to smoothly merge into traffic.

What's up with this?  Please tell me I wrong or unlucky or something!

You seem to be having a lot of problems with people in traffic. Are you sure, you're not the problem?

mcgruff10

curmudgeoness said:

I notice regional differences. I spent too many years in New Jersey, and there such behavior was standard, and driving seemed to get worse by the day. When we moved to the West Coast, my husband had to re-learn how to use his turn signal; NJ drivers saw a turn signal as a challenge to them to prevent anyone from changing lanes. We had to laugh when we read that some survey found LA and San Diego drivers are among the worst in the country. Granted, I did see a dude yesterday who was going 50 in the left lane, phone in his left hand, fiddling with his radio using his right hand, steering with his knees. But to date, nobody on the freeway here has tried to kill us, whereas in NJ encounters with angry people who would try to run us off the road were all too common.

I don't think it's necessarily generational. The rudest people I meet are, sorry guys, older white men; their sense of entitlement can be astounding.

What part of New Jersey where you driving in? Sounds like Essex or Bergen county. 

rgambs

Townies are generally more rude than rural folk, the bigger the town, the bigger the attitude.
People nowadays are somehow both more oblivious of their surroundings, and less inclined to mind their own business.
It's a perfect paradoxical storm of impolite behavior.

curmudgeoness

mcgruff10 said:

curmudgeoness said:

I notice regional differences. I spent too many years in New Jersey, and there such behavior was standard, and driving seemed to get worse by the day. When we moved to the West Coast, my husband had to re-learn how to use his turn signal; NJ drivers saw a turn signal as a challenge to them to prevent anyone from changing lanes. We had to laugh when we read that some survey found LA and San Diego drivers are among the worst in the country. Granted, I did see a dude yesterday who was going 50 in the left lane, phone in his left hand, fiddling with his radio using his right hand, steering with his knees. But to date, nobody on the freeway here has tried to kill us, whereas in NJ encounters with angry people who would try to run us off the road were all too common.

I don't think it's necessarily generational. The rudest people I meet are, sorry guys, older white men; their sense of entitlement can be astounding.

What part of New Jersey where you driving in? Sounds like Essex or Bergen county. 

We had to drive a lot. Essex, Bergen, Morris, Sussex, Passaic, Union. 80, 280, 287, 78. Nothing quite like getting cut off by a dumptruck while doing 80 in the slow lane to start your day. People passing on the freeway on the shoulder (that happened -- a number of times), semis cutting in to the head of the line at the 80-287 interchange, people who absolutely refused to allow traffic to merge, and so much road rage. Driving was a blood sport there. I found that, the closer we got to NY, the less people paid attention to basic rules of the road and the more they started driving like NYC cabbies. But the anger and extreme aggression were ubiquitous.

mfc2006

I think a lot of younger people didn't learn social graces because they're always glued their phones, a tv or another device.

rgambs

mfc2006 said:

I think a lot of younger people didn't learn social graces because they're always glued their phones, a tv or another device.

While they are certainly guilty of being somewhat oblivious and inconsiderate, I've seen that young people are more courteous now than boomers, once their attention is focused.
I've never been flipped off or road-raged by anyone
under the age of 35 or so, it's always the 40 to 60 crowd that acts out when driving or in public spaces.

I also feel a need to point out that while per capita volume of youngsters glued to their devices is higher, the boomers absolutely own the shitbag awards in terms of being completely incapacitated when using devices in public.  There is no sense even trying to deal with a 50+ person who is trying to text, email, or talk on a cell phone, they are gone to the world.

brianlux

Spiritual_Chaos said:

brianlux said:

Honest question.  I hope the answer is "no".  Sadly, however, I'm noticing more and more people (sorry to say, especially younger people) are more and more rude.  What led me to ask this is a series of events recently.  Here are just a few recent examples:

-Yesterday a guy half my age driving a large pickup truck nearly ran me down in a cross walk and instead of saying, "Oops, sorry" he flipped me off.

-Twice yesterday while carrying a heavy load in the store, a young person (both were young women) either nearly ran me over or pushed me out of the way.

-Frequently, when carrying a box of books from my car to the store people on the street see me coming and refuse to more, even if  I politely excuse myself.  I have often had to step of the sidewalk onto the curb to pass.

-Today I was walking with some painting supplies in my arms from the store to the car and a young woman driver in the parking lot cut me off and looked at me like I was causing her inconvenience or interference. 

-Numerous times while trying to merge into traffic people will speed up quickly to close a gap that was plenty big enough to smoothly merge into traffic.

What's up with this?  Please tell me I wrong or unlucky or something!

You seem to be having a lot of problems with people in traffic. Are you sure, you're not the problem?

Yes, I'm sure. I don't look for trouble.   It's California.  The only places I've been where drivers are more crazy and aggressive is Boston and Rome.  Look out!

When I'm on the road, I look for a clear spot away from all the potential maniacs.  Give me a lonely road any day and I'm happy.

brianlux

rgambs said:

Townies are generally more rude than rural folk, the bigger the town, the bigger the attitude.
People nowadays are somehow both more oblivious of their surroundings, and less inclined to mind their own business.
It's a perfect paradoxical storm of impolite behavior.

I think so too.  Our area is growing fast and rudeness is growing just as exponentially. 

mfc2006

rgambs said:

mfc2006 said:

I think a lot of younger people didn't learn social graces because they're always glued their phones, a tv or another device.

While they are certainly guilty of being somewhat oblivious and inconsiderate, I've seen that young people are more courteous now than boomers, once their attention is focused.
I've never been flipped off or road-raged by anyone
under the age of 35 or so, it's always the 40 to 60 crowd that acts out when driving or in public spaces.

I also feel a need to point out that while per capita volume of youngsters glued to their devices is higher, the boomers absolutely own the shitbag awards in terms of being completely incapacitated when using devices in public.  There is no sense even trying to deal with a 50+ person who is trying to text, email, or talk on a cell phone, they are gone to the world.

Good point. I shouldn't generalize the younger generation like that. I think a lot of the population has forgotten about basic courtesy