Please rise and remove your caps

123457

Comments

  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain Posts: 31,265
    mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    I don't understand why this is even a big deal; take your hat for 90 seconds.
    Some people don't understand why this is even a big deal, who cares if your hat is on or not?
    I always thought you take off your hat to show respect to the flag and our country. 
    So you've been told and you listened, and it ties in with the funny "hat rules" that were imparted by your religion so it made sense.
    Not everyone thinks like that.

    Some people see these sorts of rules and rituals as relics of a past which needs let go, or they are just very resistant to examples of groupthink like this where people follow blindly in footsteps they don't understand.  
    My religion?  
    My grandfather (ww2 vet) and dad (vietnam vet) instilled this thinking, and i'll do the same to my kids.  I really don't see the harm in it.  It is all of 90 seconds.
    Aren't you Catholic?
    They have rules about hats so it would make sense that you wouldn't be inclined to question it.

    Nationalism is ugly and many people want no part of it.
    Yeah I am catholic but I don’t Associate the two together. I see nothing wrong with nationalism, I am proud to live in the United States. 

    I always find this statement, "I am proud to live in (this country)" very interesting. I mean, what is there to be proud of? Pride generally stems from something you did or had a part in doing that is positive. 

    if you were born there, you had zero part in choosing your geographical location. and you also had zero part in what the US is today, in the grand scheme. 

    I am not proud to be Canadian. I'm happy to live in Canada, but I wouldn't use the word pride. 

    as to your previous statement, "I don't see the harm in it". I agree, there really is no harm in it. Unless you couple it with a message of derision of places that aren't the US. 
    So if we can't feel pride, should be also not feel shame over what this dumbass is doing in the oval office?
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    I don't understand why this is even a big deal; take your hat for 90 seconds.
    Some people don't understand why this is even a big deal, who cares if your hat is on or not?
    I always thought you take off your hat to show respect to the flag and our country. 
    So you've been told and you listened, and it ties in with the funny "hat rules" that were imparted by your religion so it made sense.
    Not everyone thinks like that.

    Some people see these sorts of rules and rituals as relics of a past which needs let go, or they are just very resistant to examples of groupthink like this where people follow blindly in footsteps they don't understand.  
    My religion?  
    My grandfather (ww2 vet) and dad (vietnam vet) instilled this thinking, and i'll do the same to my kids.  I really don't see the harm in it.  It is all of 90 seconds.
    Aren't you Catholic?
    They have rules about hats so it would make sense that you wouldn't be inclined to question it.

    Nationalism is ugly and many people want no part of it.
    Yeah I am catholic but I don’t Associate the two together. I see nothing wrong with nationalism, I am proud to live in the United States. 

    I always find this statement, "I am proud to live in (this country)" very interesting. I mean, what is there to be proud of? Pride generally stems from something you did or had a part in doing that is positive. 

    if you were born there, you had zero part in choosing your geographical location. and you also had zero part in what the US is today, in the grand scheme. 

    I am not proud to be Canadian. I'm happy to live in Canada, but I wouldn't use the word pride. 

    as to your previous statement, "I don't see the harm in it". I agree, there really is no harm in it. Unless you couple it with a message of derision of places that aren't the US. 
    So if we can't feel pride, should be also not feel shame over what this dumbass is doing in the oval office?
    you know, that's a really great point. the odd thing is, though, I'm not american, and even I feel shame about his being in office. I think it's more of an embarassment at my fellow humans more than it is a national identity thing. 
    new album "Cigarettes" out Spring 2025!

    www.headstonesband.com




  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 Posts: 28,495
    edited May 2018
    mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    I don't understand why this is even a big deal; take your hat for 90 seconds.
    Some people don't understand why this is even a big deal, who cares if your hat is on or not?
    I always thought you take off your hat to show respect to the flag and our country. 
    So you've been told and you listened, and it ties in with the funny "hat rules" that were imparted by your religion so it made sense.
    Not everyone thinks like that.

    Some people see these sorts of rules and rituals as relics of a past which needs let go, or they are just very resistant to examples of groupthink like this where people follow blindly in footsteps they don't understand.  
    My religion?  
    My grandfather (ww2 vet) and dad (vietnam vet) instilled this thinking, and i'll do the same to my kids.  I really don't see the harm in it.  It is all of 90 seconds.
    Aren't you Catholic?
    They have rules about hats so it would make sense that you wouldn't be inclined to question it.

    Nationalism is ugly and many people want no part of it.
    Yeah I am catholic but I don’t Associate the two together. I see nothing wrong with nationalism, I am proud to live in the United States. 

    I always find this statement, "I am proud to live in (this country)" very interesting. I mean, what is there to be proud of? Pride generally stems from something you did or had a part in doing that is positive. 

    if you were born there, you had zero part in choosing your geographical location. and you also had zero part in what the US is today, in the grand scheme. 

    I am not proud to be Canadian. I'm happy to live in Canada, but I wouldn't use the word pride. 

    as to your previous statement, "I don't see the harm in it". I agree, there really is no harm in it. Unless you couple it with a message of derision of places that aren't the US. 
    You wouldn’t use the word pride but I would. Yeah I am proud to live here and Be aus citizen. I dis not do anything huge in the grand scheme off things but I do educate 100 8th graders a year and it is my hope that the majority of them do something positive for this country. So yeah, I am proud. 
    Post edited by mcgruff10 on
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain Posts: 31,265
    edited May 2018
    mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    I don't understand why this is even a big deal; take your hat for 90 seconds.
    Some people don't understand why this is even a big deal, who cares if your hat is on or not?
    I always thought you take off your hat to show respect to the flag and our country. 
    So you've been told and you listened, and it ties in with the funny "hat rules" that were imparted by your religion so it made sense.
    Not everyone thinks like that.

    Some people see these sorts of rules and rituals as relics of a past which needs let go, or they are just very resistant to examples of groupthink like this where people follow blindly in footsteps they don't understand.  
    My religion?  
    My grandfather (ww2 vet) and dad (vietnam vet) instilled this thinking, and i'll do the same to my kids.  I really don't see the harm in it.  It is all of 90 seconds.
    Aren't you Catholic?
    They have rules about hats so it would make sense that you wouldn't be inclined to question it.

    Nationalism is ugly and many people want no part of it.
    Yeah I am catholic but I don’t Associate the two together. I see nothing wrong with nationalism, I am proud to live in the United States. 

    I always find this statement, "I am proud to live in (this country)" very interesting. I mean, what is there to be proud of? Pride generally stems from something you did or had a part in doing that is positive. 

    if you were born there, you had zero part in choosing your geographical location. and you also had zero part in what the US is today, in the grand scheme. 

    I am not proud to be Canadian. I'm happy to live in Canada, but I wouldn't use the word pride. 

    as to your previous statement, "I don't see the harm in it". I agree, there really is no harm in it. Unless you couple it with a message of derision of places that aren't the US. 
    So if we can't feel pride, should be also not feel shame over what this dumbass is doing in the oval office?
    you know, that's a really great point. the odd thing is, though, I'm not american, and even I feel shame about his being in office. I think it's more of an embarassment at my fellow humans more than it is a national identity thing. 
    :lol:

    I feel both pride and shame about this country, even though I have nothing to do with any of that stuff.
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    I don't understand why this is even a big deal; take your hat for 90 seconds.
    Some people don't understand why this is even a big deal, who cares if your hat is on or not?
    I always thought you take off your hat to show respect to the flag and our country. 
    So you've been told and you listened, and it ties in with the funny "hat rules" that were imparted by your religion so it made sense.
    Not everyone thinks like that.

    Some people see these sorts of rules and rituals as relics of a past which needs let go, or they are just very resistant to examples of groupthink like this where people follow blindly in footsteps they don't understand.  
    My religion?  
    My grandfather (ww2 vet) and dad (vietnam vet) instilled this thinking, and i'll do the same to my kids.  I really don't see the harm in it.  It is all of 90 seconds.
    Aren't you Catholic?
    They have rules about hats so it would make sense that you wouldn't be inclined to question it.

    Nationalism is ugly and many people want no part of it.
    Yeah I am catholic but I don’t Associate the two together. I see nothing wrong with nationalism, I am proud to live in the United States. 

    I always find this statement, "I am proud to live in (this country)" very interesting. I mean, what is there to be proud of? Pride generally stems from something you did or had a part in doing that is positive. 

    if you were born there, you had zero part in choosing your geographical location. and you also had zero part in what the US is today, in the grand scheme. 

    I am not proud to be Canadian. I'm happy to live in Canada, but I wouldn't use the word pride. 

    as to your previous statement, "I don't see the harm in it". I agree, there really is no harm in it. Unless you couple it with a message of derision of places that aren't the US. 
    You wouldn’t use the word pride but I would. Yeah I am proud to live here and Ben a us citizen. I didmt do anything huge in the grand scheme off things but I do educate 100 8th graders a year and it is my hope that the majority of them do something positive for this country. So yeah, I am proud. 
    fair enough. It's just an interesting mindset to me, specifically hoping they do something positive "for this country". why does it have to be "for this country" specifically?

    to be clear, I'm not saying what you do or how you think is incorrect. I just like to get in the minds of those that think differently than I do. especially with this patriotism/nationalism thing. 
    new album "Cigarettes" out Spring 2025!

    www.headstonesband.com




  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 Posts: 28,495
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    rgambs said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    I don't understand why this is even a big deal; take your hat for 90 seconds.
    Some people don't understand why this is even a big deal, who cares if your hat is on or not?
    I always thought you take off your hat to show respect to the flag and our country. 
    So you've been told and you listened, and it ties in with the funny "hat rules" that were imparted by your religion so it made sense.
    Not everyone thinks like that.

    Some people see these sorts of rules and rituals as relics of a past which needs let go, or they are just very resistant to examples of groupthink like this where people follow blindly in footsteps they don't understand.  
    My religion?  
    My grandfather (ww2 vet) and dad (vietnam vet) instilled this thinking, and i'll do the same to my kids.  I really don't see the harm in it.  It is all of 90 seconds.
    Aren't you Catholic?
    They have rules about hats so it would make sense that you wouldn't be inclined to question it.

    Nationalism is ugly and many people want no part of it.
    Yeah I am catholic but I don’t Associate the two together. I see nothing wrong with nationalism, I am proud to live in the United States. 

    I always find this statement, "I am proud to live in (this country)" very interesting. I mean, what is there to be proud of? Pride generally stems from something you did or had a part in doing that is positive. 

    if you were born there, you had zero part in choosing your geographical location. and you also had zero part in what the US is today, in the grand scheme. 

    I am not proud to be Canadian. I'm happy to live in Canada, but I wouldn't use the word pride. 

    as to your previous statement, "I don't see the harm in it". I agree, there really is no harm in it. Unless you couple it with a message of derision of places that aren't the US. 
    You wouldn’t use the word pride but I would. Yeah I am proud to live here and Ben a us citizen. I didmt do anything huge in the grand scheme off things but I do educate 100 8th graders a year and it is my hope that the majority of them do something positive for this country. So yeah, I am proud. 
    fair enough. It's just an interesting mindset to me, specifically hoping they do something positive "for this country". why does it have to be "for this country" specifically?

    to be clear, I'm not saying what you do or how you think is incorrect. I just like to get in the minds of those that think differently than I do. especially with this patriotism/nationalism thing. 
    My bad, it doesn’t have to Be the USA. Just do something good for the world, be positive, be kind, and vote!  I m also big on studying abroad in college. 
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • dankinddankind Posts: 20,839
    I'm not nationalistic and have been ashamed of being an American ever since I could read a history book. I was, however, raised by southern women to be a proper southern gentleman, so I am a stickler for etiquette, including the simple guidelines that apply to hats.

    And while I will silently judge a man who leaves his hat on inside a restaurant or during the anthem at a game and generally come to the conclusion that he just wasn't raised right, I would never take it upon myself to attempt to enforce my proper upbringing on the offending ignoramus.

    I was at a game at Yankee Stadium a few years ago, and when someone failed to remove his cap during the anthem, a knuckle-dragging goon a few rows back kept yelling "headgear! headgear!" at the guy. When that didn't get the ignoramus's attention, the knuckle-dragging goon stepped over a few chairs to move to within reach of the ignoramus and snatched the hat off of his head. That, to me, is more disrespectful of the flag, the anthem and what it's supposed to mean to be an American than simply failing to remove one's ballcap. 
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • jeffbrjeffbr Posts: 7,177
    pjhawks said:
    brianlux said:
    What about toupees and wigs?  Should they be removed during the National Anthem?  I yes "yes".  And while your at it, take off your shoes and socks.
    do you talk during moments of silences? how about during a Eulogy?  I'm just wondering where you guys draw the line on acting with respect?  what do you do and don't do?  do you hold the door for women and the elderly or is that too much to ask you to be respectful for those thing?  just curious...seriously.
    I hold the door for anyone behind me. I give up my seat to someone who needs it (not at a PJ show, though; that seat took work to get!). I obviously don’t talk during a eulogy - what sort of question is that? 

    The difference is that all of those have real world consequences if you don’t do them. Taking off a hat or leaving it on has absolutely no real world consequences to anyone except possibly a warm head, and objecting to leaving a hat because it might cause offence is a baseless as prior generations objecting to a woman’s skirt length showing her ankle.
    Yeah but as we've learned, ankles were the gateway to the knees. Now you see knees everywhere! 
    Oh, and I do take my hat off, but only so that I don't have to have a political discussion at a ball game. I don't sing the anthem, but if we're playing a Canadian team, I'm all over that one. It's a much better tune.
    "I'll use the magic word - let's just shut the fuck up, please." EV, 04/13/08
  • brianluxbrianlux Posts: 42,027
    pjhawks said:
    brianlux said:
    What about toupees and wigs?  Should they be removed during the National Anthem?  I yes "yes".  And while your at it, take off your shoes and socks.
    do you talk during moments of silences? how about during a Eulogy?  I'm just wondering where you guys draw the line on acting with respect?  what do you do and don't do?  do you hold the door for women and the elderly or is that too much to ask you to be respectful for those thing?  just curious...seriously.
    No I do not talk during moments of silence nor during a Eulogy.  No way!  I don't wear a hat so nothing to take off.  At ball games I stand but do not place my hand over my heart or sing the anthem- I figure standing is a good enough compromise and avoids drawing attention.  I hold the door for men women and children- you bet!  I don't close my eyes when people say grace- I just bow my head a bit and keep quiet.  Grace means nothing to me but I respect that it does to others so i don't interfere.  I fart silently in public but let it rip when alone.  I sometimes say "bless you" when people sneeze but not "God bless you" (yes, I don make some compromises). 

    So basically, I try to be respectful without making major compromises to my own beliefs.  When people litter or don't recycle or when they drive gas guzzling vehicles for no damn good reason, I think they are being far more disrespectful than me not saying grace or singing the national anthem.  FAR more disrespectful when people do unnecessary harm to the earth.
    “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
    Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.













  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 Posts: 28,495
    dankind said:
    I'm not nationalistic and have been ashamed of being an American ever since I could read a history book. I was, however, raised by southern women to be a proper southern gentleman, so I am a stickler for etiquette, including the simple guidelines that apply to hats.

    And while I will silently judge a man who leaves his hat on inside a restaurant or during the anthem at a game and generally come to the conclusion that he just wasn't raised right, I would never take it upon myself to attempt to enforce my proper upbringing on the offending ignoramus.

    I was at a game at Yankee Stadium a few years ago, and when someone failed to remove his cap during the anthem, a knuckle-dragging goon a few rows back kept yelling "headgear! headgear!" at the guy. When that didn't get the ignoramus's attention, the knuckle-dragging goon stepped over a few chairs to move to within reach of the ignoramus and snatched the hat off of his head. That, to me, is more disrespectful of the flag, the anthem and what it's supposed to mean to be an American than simply failing to remove one's ballcap. 
    Solid stuff right there. 
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • brianluxbrianlux Posts: 42,027
    I am worldalistic, bioregionalistic, and communitialistic.  The only -istics that make sense to me.  Countries are simply artificial lines on a map.  They have no basis in reality. 
    “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
    Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.













  • dankinddankind Posts: 20,839
    brianlux said:
    I am worldalistic, bioregionalistic, and communitialistic.  The only -istics that make sense to me.  Countries are simply artificial lines on a map.  They have no basis in reality. 
    https://youtu.be/0mhZBLUyybo
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • oftenreadingoftenreading Posts: 12,845
    Can anyone explain what makes taking a hat off “respectful” in any way that doesn’t include a variation of  “that’s what I was taught” or “that’s just what’s done”? By that I mean an explanation that links hat-wearing to any potential harm to anyone. Right now all the explanations appear to boil down to fashion. 
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain Posts: 31,265
    Why is burping rude?
    Because we were told.  Don't have a better answer.
    Burping sounds way better than some people speaking.
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • dankinddankind Posts: 20,839
    Can anyone explain what makes taking a hat off “respectful” in any way that doesn’t include a variation of  “that’s what I was taught” or “that’s just what’s done”? By that I mean an explanation that links hat-wearing to any potential harm to anyone. Right now all the explanations appear to boil down to fashion. 
    The historical reason has something to do with medieval knights and removing their helms (or lifting their visors) as a show of respect and a gesture that they come in peace. I think someone else may have posted something in more detail along these lines earlier in this thread.

    I tend to follow most of Emily Post's guidelines for gentlemen (at least the ones that were around in the 1980s). Some are archaic, but they are second nature at this point. I try not to be compulsive about them, but that can be difficult. I've been admonished a few times by women friends and simply stopped holding doors, etc., for those who have taken issue.

    Why is burping rude?
    Because we were told.  Don't have a better answer.
    Burping sounds way better than some people speaking.
    Isn't burping viewed favorably as a compliment to the chef in some cultures? Or is that BS?
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • dankind said:
    Can anyone explain what makes taking a hat off “respectful” in any way that doesn’t include a variation of  “that’s what I was taught” or “that’s just what’s done”? By that I mean an explanation that links hat-wearing to any potential harm to anyone. Right now all the explanations appear to boil down to fashion. 
    The historical reason has something to do with medieval knights and removing their helms (or lifting their visors) as a show of respect and a gesture that they come in peace. I think someone else may have posted something in more detail along these lines earlier in this thread.

    I tend to follow most of Emily Post's guidelines for gentlemen (at least the ones that were around in the 1980s). Some are archaic, but they are second nature at this point. I try not to be compulsive about them, but that can be difficult. I've been admonished a few times by women friends and simply stopped holding doors, etc., for those who have taken issue.

    Why is burping rude?
    Because we were told.  Don't have a better answer.
    Burping sounds way better than some people speaking.
    Isn't burping viewed favorably as a compliment to the chef in some cultures? Or is that BS?
    am I understanding this correctly? you've been admonished by women FOR holding the door for them?
    new album "Cigarettes" out Spring 2025!

    www.headstonesband.com




  • oftenreadingoftenreading Posts: 12,845
    At one point it would have been considered disrespectful for a gentleman not to wear a suit and tie to work. How many of you fellows follow that rule?
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • Drowned OutDrowned Out Posts: 6,056
    At one point it would have been considered disrespectful for a gentleman not to wear a suit and tie to work. How many of you fellows follow that rule?
    My dad told me just the other day that when he got his first office job, a fedora was part of the standard dress code.  
    Dress codes are stupid.  If you look like a slob, a company should be able to reprimand you...but it's always pissed me off that I have to wear pants when it's sweltering outside, and every female co-worker is in a skirt and sandals of some type.
  • At one point it would have been considered disrespectful for a gentleman not to wear a suit and tie to work. How many of you fellows follow that rule?
    I work in an office, and it is rare to see even any of our near-retirement executives wear either of those. 
    new album "Cigarettes" out Spring 2025!

    www.headstonesband.com




  • dankinddankind Posts: 20,839
    dankind said:
    Can anyone explain what makes taking a hat off “respectful” in any way that doesn’t include a variation of  “that’s what I was taught” or “that’s just what’s done”? By that I mean an explanation that links hat-wearing to any potential harm to anyone. Right now all the explanations appear to boil down to fashion. 
    The historical reason has something to do with medieval knights and removing their helms (or lifting their visors) as a show of respect and a gesture that they come in peace. I think someone else may have posted something in more detail along these lines earlier in this thread.

    I tend to follow most of Emily Post's guidelines for gentlemen (at least the ones that were around in the 1980s). Some are archaic, but they are second nature at this point. I try not to be compulsive about them, but that can be difficult. I've been admonished a few times by women friends and simply stopped holding doors, etc., for those who have taken issue.

    Why is burping rude?
    Because we were told.  Don't have a better answer.
    Burping sounds way better than some people speaking.
    Isn't burping viewed favorably as a compliment to the chef in some cultures? Or is that BS?
    am I understanding this correctly? you've been admonished by women FOR holding the door for them?
    Yes, and it's especially been frowned upon in an office setting.

    At one point it would have been considered disrespectful for a gentleman not to wear a suit and tie to work. How many of you fellows follow that rule?
    At one point, yes, but that's not the case anymore. And it hasn't been the case for a long time. Shirtsleeve business operations began in the 1960s, I think, perhaps even earlier. (I will say that it's only been a few years since I've come to accept a male guest on a talk show who fails to wear a tie, though.)

    The etiquette guiding when to remove one's hat, however, has not changed, as far as I know.
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • dankind said:
    dankind said:
    Can anyone explain what makes taking a hat off “respectful” in any way that doesn’t include a variation of  “that’s what I was taught” or “that’s just what’s done”? By that I mean an explanation that links hat-wearing to any potential harm to anyone. Right now all the explanations appear to boil down to fashion. 
    The historical reason has something to do with medieval knights and removing their helms (or lifting their visors) as a show of respect and a gesture that they come in peace. I think someone else may have posted something in more detail along these lines earlier in this thread.

    I tend to follow most of Emily Post's guidelines for gentlemen (at least the ones that were around in the 1980s). Some are archaic, but they are second nature at this point. I try not to be compulsive about them, but that can be difficult. I've been admonished a few times by women friends and simply stopped holding doors, etc., for those who have taken issue.

    Why is burping rude?
    Because we were told.  Don't have a better answer.
    Burping sounds way better than some people speaking.
    Isn't burping viewed favorably as a compliment to the chef in some cultures? Or is that BS?
    am I understanding this correctly? you've been admonished by women FOR holding the door for them?
    Yes, and it's especially been frowned upon in an office setting.
    why? is it considered a slippery slope to harassment or something?
    new album "Cigarettes" out Spring 2025!

    www.headstonesband.com




  • drakeheuer14drakeheuer14 Posts: 4,467
    dankind said:
    dankind said:
    Can anyone explain what makes taking a hat off “respectful” in any way that doesn’t include a variation of  “that’s what I was taught” or “that’s just what’s done”? By that I mean an explanation that links hat-wearing to any potential harm to anyone. Right now all the explanations appear to boil down to fashion. 
    The historical reason has something to do with medieval knights and removing their helms (or lifting their visors) as a show of respect and a gesture that they come in peace. I think someone else may have posted something in more detail along these lines earlier in this thread.

    I tend to follow most of Emily Post's guidelines for gentlemen (at least the ones that were around in the 1980s). Some are archaic, but they are second nature at this point. I try not to be compulsive about them, but that can be difficult. I've been admonished a few times by women friends and simply stopped holding doors, etc., for those who have taken issue.

    Why is burping rude?
    Because we were told.  Don't have a better answer.
    Burping sounds way better than some people speaking.
    Isn't burping viewed favorably as a compliment to the chef in some cultures? Or is that BS?
    am I understanding this correctly? you've been admonished by women FOR holding the door for them?
    Yes, and it's especially been frowned upon in an office setting.

    At one point it would have been considered disrespectful for a gentleman not to wear a suit and tie to work. How many of you fellows follow that rule?
    At one point, yes, but that's not the case anymore. And it hasn't been the case for a long time. Shirtsleeve business operations began in the 1960s, I think, perhaps even earlier. (I will say that it's only been a few years since I've come to accept a male guest on a talk show who fails to wear a tie, though.)

    The etiquette guiding when to remove one's hat, however, has not changed, as far as I know.
    So it’s on us to change it then. 
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  • dankinddankind Posts: 20,839
    dankind said:
    dankind said:
    Can anyone explain what makes taking a hat off “respectful” in any way that doesn’t include a variation of  “that’s what I was taught” or “that’s just what’s done”? By that I mean an explanation that links hat-wearing to any potential harm to anyone. Right now all the explanations appear to boil down to fashion. 
    The historical reason has something to do with medieval knights and removing their helms (or lifting their visors) as a show of respect and a gesture that they come in peace. I think someone else may have posted something in more detail along these lines earlier in this thread.

    I tend to follow most of Emily Post's guidelines for gentlemen (at least the ones that were around in the 1980s). Some are archaic, but they are second nature at this point. I try not to be compulsive about them, but that can be difficult. I've been admonished a few times by women friends and simply stopped holding doors, etc., for those who have taken issue.

    Why is burping rude?
    Because we were told.  Don't have a better answer.
    Burping sounds way better than some people speaking.
    Isn't burping viewed favorably as a compliment to the chef in some cultures? Or is that BS?
    am I understanding this correctly? you've been admonished by women FOR holding the door for them?
    Yes, and it's especially been frowned upon in an office setting.
    why? is it considered a slippery slope to harassment or something?
    I think that it's because women are still fighting to be treated as equals in many workplaces, and having a door held open for them at the office diminishes their struggle.
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  • HesCalledDyerHesCalledDyer Posts: 16,435
    I've never understood why people get offended at someone doing a nice simple gesture such as holding a door.  But I have encountered the militant "what do you think, I can't open it for myself?" female here and there. I usually just respond with "Sorry for the convenience."
  • there's a dude in my office who is in a wheelchair. we are in the elevator together. I am closest to the floor buttons. 

    Hugh: hey man, which floor you heading to?
    him: stares at me defiantly, then reaches over and slams his hand on the button and says nothing the entire time

    and just yesterday, leaving for the day. on the main floor we hava a series of doors, like Get Smart, to go through, to get to the parkade. I am in front of him. I hold the first door open for him, as I do for anyone, man, woman, child, able bodied or not. 

    he slams through the closed door next to it. 

    I go through the next door. 

    he slams through the closed door next to that one again. 

    some people just have a fucking insecurity that they are being treated as inferior, when they are just being treated nicely. fuck off, you bitter prick. 
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  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 13,576
    There is a clear difference between holding open a door which you have opened for yourself so someone else can pass (otherwise it may close in their face and injure them) and moving in front of a woman to open the door for her.
    The first one is common courtesy and the second one is an archaic gesture that was ABSOLUTELY born from misogyny and chauvanism, and continues still because people just do as they were told without ever questioning.
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  • HesCalledDyerHesCalledDyer Posts: 16,435
    rgambs said:
    There is a clear difference between holding open a door which you have opened for yourself so someone else can pass (otherwise it may close in their face and injure them) and moving in front of a woman to open the door for her.
    The first one is common courtesy and the second one is an archaic gesture that was ABSOLUTELY born from misogyny and chauvanism, and continues still because people just do as they were told without ever questioning.
    Yeah, the only time I would run to the front to open a door is if they obviously need help.  For example, carrying things in both hands or arms that would prevent them from opening the door without setting everything down first.  But to run up and open the door just bc it's a woman, no.
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain Posts: 31,265
    edited May 2018
    At one point it would have been considered disrespectful for a gentleman not to wear a suit and tie to work. How many of you fellows follow that rule?
    I just got an email letting me know that a networking event I am attending at a City Club with other executive level people on Tuesday has a dress code:

    For men:

    Jacket and tie are strongly preferred. Jacket and collared shirt are required at all times on the first floor members-only section of the League House.



    I wear a blazer (always) to these things but am rarely in a tie.

    If I am not out with clients/partners, I wear shorts and a t-shirt.  :angry:
    Post edited by F Me In The Brain on
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  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 Posts: 28,495
    rgambs said:
    There is a clear difference between holding open a door which you have opened for yourself so someone else can pass (otherwise it may close in their face and injure them) and moving in front of a woman to open the door for her.
    The first one is common courtesy and the second one is an archaic gesture that was ABSOLUTELY born from misogyny and chauvanism, and continues still because people just do as they were told without ever questioning.
    Yeah, the only time I would run to the front to open a door is if they obviously need help.  For example, carrying things in both hands or arms that would prevent them from opening the door without setting everything down first.  But to run up and open the door just bc it's a woman, no.
    I don’t run up but I try to always open the door for women. The women I deal with on a daily basis think it is very gentlemenly and polite. 
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • PJWGIIIPJWGIII Posts: 811
    Here’s my opinion:

    Do it when when asked to do so to be respectful to others. When not, don’t worry about it at all.

    It’s just a simple sign of respect, and while there’s not much of an explanation of the act itself, it goes a long way toward people who care more about that kind of stuff. But if you’re not in that kind of situation, don’t worry about it. Do what you want if you aren’t asked to do otherwise.

    However, I have yet to understand why this is an enforced rule at many public schools. That scenario is the one I don’t get. 
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