My brother died Sunday from suicide; he took comfort in PJ's music in his last days. Thank you.

hrd2imgn

Love and prayers for you and the family

pjman75

The outpouring of love and support in the forum is not surprising but still so amazingly moving. I just wanted to drop a couple of links here that have been shared on Facebook already. Anybody who has a moment to check them out and the means to assist are very appreciated.

In lieu of flowers the family have requested donations be made to the Memphis Recovery Center. His brother was on the wait list when this happened sadly. Most of us are aware of how helpful centers like these can be for those needing recovery and the families affected

http://www.memphisrecovery.com

Also, as if all of this wasn't already devastating enough for Hank's family, his grandmother passed away late Monday night. She was an instrumental part of Hank's upbringing and a very strong part of his immediate family. Something that has become recent news to me but others know very well are the cost of funeral expenses. I had no idea until I lost a close friend recently and I was shocked.
Relatives of Hank have put in place a gofundme to assist with what has now become the cost of two funeral services. I will post the link below. What's important to note is even if you can't donate, sharing it to Facebook and social media has a dramatic affect with helping. The more it shares then the more it trends. The more it trends, the likelihood of anonymous donors increases. Every little bit will help Hank's family right now, when it's really needed the most.

https://www.gofundme.com/2t6g3ctg

I've known Hank for only a couple of years. Honestly it wasn't until today that I knew his 10C handle. We've been friends on Facebook first, then finally meeting at shows second. He's been on the touring circuit for quite a long time and I'm postitive there are many who've known him longer than me. Nobody wants to see things like this happen and when they do it becomes very hard to ask for help. I'm posting this now not necessarily because I'm afraid Hank wouldn't, but honestly because I've known very few people as selfless and caring as Hank in my life. He would help if it was us and he'd sure as hell ask others to help too.
We love you Hank. Stay strong and share our love with your family.

ehbacon

My deepest condolences.

hedonist

Wow. So much - too much - loss in such a short time. I'm not on social media but will check out the links.

Continued good thoughts to Hank and his family.

Thank you for posting, pjman.

-Buru-

I'm sorry for your loss, may you brother and grandma rest in peace. I hope you can also find some solace in music like your brother did, and that your friends and family and good memories carry you over these tough times.

EB218946

our prayers are with you. sorry for your loss.

pjalive21

A day later and still on my mind.....hope you're doing better as each day passes

and now to hear of another loss is saddening

these songs will be forever linked with your story with me

northerndragon

I am truly sorry for your loss in both cases. I am truly inspired by your celebration of his life, it is truly the way to honour those gone too soon. Much love, support and goods thoughts to you and your family.
I lost my baby brother 8 years ago this Oct and although I miss him everyday I know he is also with me everyday. May you always feel the love and light that is your brother with you always.

hankholetsgo

Chris (pjman75). Thank you for posting that. I'd never be comfortable doing that myself. And thank for the dozen shares on FB the last few days.

To everyone else, thank you again for all the kind words and messages. I'll get to them all, I promise.

Merkin Baller

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thirty Bills Unpaid

hankholetsgo said:

Thank you all again for the kind words. There truly is something nice about solidarity with lellle over a shared love. I thought I'd share a picture of us from a few months ago. It's the last photo of us. I'm in the hat. He was a good dude.

Couple of cool dudes.

Shitty man. I'm impressed with your willingness to share your experience. Not to come across as the forum therapist, but there'll be better times ahead for you.

hankholetsgo

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

hankholetsgo said:

Thank you all again for the kind words. There truly is something nice about solidarity with lellle over a shared love. I thought I'd share a picture of us from a few months ago. It's the last photo of us. I'm in the hat. He was a good dude.

Couple of cool dudes.

Shitty man. I'm impressed with your willingness to share your experience. Not to come across as the forum therapist, but there'll be better times ahead for you.

I've been sharing it far and wide. We're determined to spread the word as much as we can and hopefully spare another family this misery. I'm really proud of my mom for being so open and honest about his addiction and wanting to shed some light ok this.

theebradness

hankholetsgo said:

Sunday night, while in a hotel room in Chicago, between the two Wrigley shows (Monday was set to be my 100th show), my phone rings. My brother was found dead Sunday afternoon. I immediately got online and booked an early Monday flight to Dallas (where I live) and then once I landed I grabbed my things and drove to Memphis (where my family is). After I arrived, I was talking to my mom and she said, "your brother told me, "this isn't gonna happen, but if I die, there's a Pearl Jam song Long Road and I want it played at my funeral."" I was floored.

The next day she asked me if I would find an additional song to play at the funeral. I chose Given to Fly. Once I settled on that, I played it for her and when it hit the chorus she started crying and told me that after my brothers last overdose (sadly, just a week prior to his death - he was on a wait list for a rehab facility), he played GTF for her and told her that while he was in the hospital he played in bed and listened to that song for three or four hours straight through. Once she read the words, she said it made total sense, "a bad time nothing could save him...."

This Saturday, we are not having a sad funeral, but a celebration of a life cut short at 28, of a kid that absent the heroin, was a goddamn good kid. A kid that loved me and that I loved. A kid that shared my love for music. Long Road and Given To Fly will be the soundtrack for that celebration.

Thank you, Pearl Jam, for creating art that he took comfort in during his last days.

Fucking opiates. My old hometown of Weymouth Massachusetts has a huge heroin problem, as does much of that area. I'm so sorry for your loss.

RS65573

I go to all of the shows with my little brother. We are now 42 and 32, so not so little anymore, buy this really hit home for me.
I am very sorry for your loss.
Next time I see my brother I'm going to give him a big hug. Life is too short...so tell everyone in your life you love them.

bgirl59

I am so sorry for your loss, and so thankful to you for sharing your story with the Pearl Jam Tenclub community- we are all so blessed to have each other...sometimes I come here just to connect with people who "get me". I'm praying for you and your family and tonight I'll light a candle for your brother, listening to Long Road and GTF. Take care.

joshualukin69

I am very sorry to hear about your loss. Positive energies as the healing process begins.

mrluthor9

So sorry for your losses. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Stay strong and continue to celebrate life.

Piper At The Gates

First, I am so sorry for you and your family on this devastating loss you are going through. Second, I can relate to this in a couple of ways. My brother-in-law committed suicide several years ago and I saw how it affected my wife's family, and I was a heroin addict for ten years and I got clean twenty years ago with a methadone program and plenty of support. You hear a lot of statistics bandied around about the success of various treatment programs to get clean but the real truth is only 5 percent of heroin addicts get clean and stay clean for the rest of their lives. I am sure you have heard "The Needle and the Damage Done", well that song is so true. "Every Junkie's like a setting sun, they just go down". Your brother was at the point where he knew the drug was going to take him and he just waited until that day came. I knew a lot of very perceptive addicts who were just that way. They wait and wait, and finally the time is right, and they go. There are a few things I know are tearing you apart right now and those are what could I have done?, Why was I not home with him, why did I go to Chicago instead of being with him when he needed me? The answer is he waited for you to go to Chicago so you wouldn't be around when he did it. There was nothing you or anybody else could have done to stop him. No one could save him. It was his time ad he had enough last Sunday. It's happening all over the country, to people of all different walks of life. Heroin is a dark drug. When I was using I used to say that every time I shot up, the devil was going in through that needle, too.
Again, my deepest condolences to you and your family You are absolutely right to have a celebration of his life with the Pearl Jam songs he loved.. He is at rest now and it's time for that.
I hope something, anything I wrote here gives you some comfort and some understanding.

Longueuil

The mourning of someone you lost over suicide is a long and dark road. I wish you peace.
You have my deepest condolences, to you and your family.

EchoesOnMars

Im sorry for your loss, much love and prayers from PA