My brother died Sunday from suicide; he took comfort in PJ's music in his last days. Thank you.

Thirty Bills Unpaid

hankholetsgo said:

Thank you all again for the kind words. There truly is something nice about solidarity with lellle over a shared love. I thought I'd share a picture of us from a few months ago. It's the last photo of us. I'm in the hat. He was a good dude.

Couple of cool dudes.

Shitty man. I'm impressed with your willingness to share your experience. Not to come across as the forum therapist, but there'll be better times ahead for you.

hankholetsgo

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

hankholetsgo said:

Thank you all again for the kind words. There truly is something nice about solidarity with lellle over a shared love. I thought I'd share a picture of us from a few months ago. It's the last photo of us. I'm in the hat. He was a good dude.

Couple of cool dudes.

Shitty man. I'm impressed with your willingness to share your experience. Not to come across as the forum therapist, but there'll be better times ahead for you.

I've been sharing it far and wide. We're determined to spread the word as much as we can and hopefully spare another family this misery. I'm really proud of my mom for being so open and honest about his addiction and wanting to shed some light ok this.

theebradness

hankholetsgo said:

Sunday night, while in a hotel room in Chicago, between the two Wrigley shows (Monday was set to be my 100th show), my phone rings. My brother was found dead Sunday afternoon. I immediately got online and booked an early Monday flight to Dallas (where I live) and then once I landed I grabbed my things and drove to Memphis (where my family is). After I arrived, I was talking to my mom and she said, "your brother told me, "this isn't gonna happen, but if I die, there's a Pearl Jam song Long Road and I want it played at my funeral."" I was floored.

The next day she asked me if I would find an additional song to play at the funeral. I chose Given to Fly. Once I settled on that, I played it for her and when it hit the chorus she started crying and told me that after my brothers last overdose (sadly, just a week prior to his death - he was on a wait list for a rehab facility), he played GTF for her and told her that while he was in the hospital he played in bed and listened to that song for three or four hours straight through. Once she read the words, she said it made total sense, "a bad time nothing could save him...."

This Saturday, we are not having a sad funeral, but a celebration of a life cut short at 28, of a kid that absent the heroin, was a goddamn good kid. A kid that loved me and that I loved. A kid that shared my love for music. Long Road and Given To Fly will be the soundtrack for that celebration.

Thank you, Pearl Jam, for creating art that he took comfort in during his last days.

Fucking opiates. My old hometown of Weymouth Massachusetts has a huge heroin problem, as does much of that area. I'm so sorry for your loss.

RS65573

I go to all of the shows with my little brother. We are now 42 and 32, so not so little anymore, buy this really hit home for me.
I am very sorry for your loss.
Next time I see my brother I'm going to give him a big hug. Life is too short...so tell everyone in your life you love them.

bgirl59

I am so sorry for your loss, and so thankful to you for sharing your story with the Pearl Jam Tenclub community- we are all so blessed to have each other...sometimes I come here just to connect with people who "get me". I'm praying for you and your family and tonight I'll light a candle for your brother, listening to Long Road and GTF. Take care.

joshualukin69

I am very sorry to hear about your loss. Positive energies as the healing process begins.

mrluthor9

So sorry for your losses. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Stay strong and continue to celebrate life.

Piper At The Gates

First, I am so sorry for you and your family on this devastating loss you are going through. Second, I can relate to this in a couple of ways. My brother-in-law committed suicide several years ago and I saw how it affected my wife's family, and I was a heroin addict for ten years and I got clean twenty years ago with a methadone program and plenty of support. You hear a lot of statistics bandied around about the success of various treatment programs to get clean but the real truth is only 5 percent of heroin addicts get clean and stay clean for the rest of their lives. I am sure you have heard "The Needle and the Damage Done", well that song is so true. "Every Junkie's like a setting sun, they just go down". Your brother was at the point where he knew the drug was going to take him and he just waited until that day came. I knew a lot of very perceptive addicts who were just that way. They wait and wait, and finally the time is right, and they go. There are a few things I know are tearing you apart right now and those are what could I have done?, Why was I not home with him, why did I go to Chicago instead of being with him when he needed me? The answer is he waited for you to go to Chicago so you wouldn't be around when he did it. There was nothing you or anybody else could have done to stop him. No one could save him. It was his time ad he had enough last Sunday. It's happening all over the country, to people of all different walks of life. Heroin is a dark drug. When I was using I used to say that every time I shot up, the devil was going in through that needle, too.
Again, my deepest condolences to you and your family You are absolutely right to have a celebration of his life with the Pearl Jam songs he loved.. He is at rest now and it's time for that.
I hope something, anything I wrote here gives you some comfort and some understanding.

Longueuil

The mourning of someone you lost over suicide is a long and dark road. I wish you peace.
You have my deepest condolences, to you and your family.

EchoesOnMars

Im sorry for your loss, much love and prayers from PA

Tvan

So sorry to hear of your loss. Sending thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

stevehomeair

I've lost three close loved ones to suicide and had an attempt of my own its tough pill to swallow wondering if there was something that could have been done to prevent it. Mental illness is so bad in the USA and the medications are only a band aid. Getting to the core of the issue I suffer PTSD from childhood trauma and its a battle everyday to survive without anxiety or the control not to go off on some asshole jerk. Stay Strong sometimes the pain is to much to bear and no human should have to deal with it. Love Light Peace and Happiness.. Music can heal WHY GO HOME!

TL170678

Sucks man, I am sorry.... This is happening all over the USA..... Did he ever try suboxone to get clean?

1STmammal2wearPants

hankholetsgo said:

Sunday night, while in a hotel room in Chicago, between the two Wrigley shows (Monday was set to be my 100th show), my phone rings. My brother was found dead Sunday afternoon. I immediately got online and booked an early Monday flight to Dallas (where I live) and then once I landed I grabbed my things and drove to Memphis (where my family is). After I arrived, I was talking to my mom and she said, "your brother told me, "this isn't gonna happen, but if I die, there's a Pearl Jam song Long Road and I want it played at my funeral."" I was floored.

The next day she asked me if I would find an additional song to play at the funeral. I chose Given to Fly. Once I settled on that, I played it for her and when it hit the chorus she started crying and told me that after my brothers last overdose (sadly, just a week prior to his death - he was on a wait list for a rehab facility), he played GTF for her and told her that while he was in the hospital he played in bed and listened to that song for three or four hours straight through. Once she read the words, she said it made total sense, "a bad time nothing could save him...."

This Saturday, we are not having a sad funeral, but a celebration of a life cut short at 28, of a kid that absent the heroin, was a goddamn good kid. A kid that loved me and that I loved. A kid that shared my love for music. Long Road and Given To Fly will be the soundtrack for that celebration.

Thank you, Pearl Jam, for creating art that he took comfort in during his last days.

May you have peace in the good times with your brother, and shared love of Pearl Jam. So sorry for you. Thoughts and prayers all your way.

densan

Love, healing, and grace to you and your family. I pray he found the peace he needed and the rest too. Your pain and his will be remembered and honored by us, your other family. Peace

pjman75

Today is the celebration of life for Blake, Hank's little brother. Please continue to keep his family in your thoughts.

We love you Hank. You got this.

CO_evolve

I am so sorry to hear your loss, thanks for sharing- this actually my first reply ever to the board. I too lost my brother 9 years ago to the opioid crisis. I didn't talk much about it for a long time. My brother went to my first few pj shows.....their music has done wonders in helping me continue to get through without him. Yes given to fly is huge. May peace be with you and your brother.

Longueuil

Now the man of the hour is taking his final bow
As the curtain comes down
I feel that this is just goodbye for now

hankholetsgo said:

Blake
1988-2016

RIP

hedonist

Good thoughts to you and your family today, Hank.

hedonist

Hank, I've *edit got GTF playing here - the St. Louis 2000 version, with lovely late Kim signing those beautiful words.

Felt it was appropriate.

Hugs and sending good energy.

maverick

Thinking of you today Hank.
Very very sorry you now have two losses in recent days.
I can't imagine what you are going through but it looks like your brother has some company with him now.
I truly hope you are doing ok and will be better, if only a little bit, with each passing day.

Sarah

So sorry for your loss. I have lost a close family member to suicide as well -- though it should be noted we were estranged at the time.
Strength to you and your family.

shetellsherself

Thinking of you Hank. Played GTF for you and your brother today

dancinacrossthewater

Great to see so much love here for you, buddy.

Isaac