Couldn't tell you. That'd be a guy question. If I'm to assume by experience, I would say not necessarily. I can tell you that if you don't know what to do with it, it doesn't matter what size it is.
Yeah, Orbach was one of those who, when he passed, just left me sad.
Is it strange to mourn the loss of people we've never met?
No, it's not strange to mourn someone you've never met. It's quite possible they have had an impact on your life, in some way, and your mourning their loss is a recognition of that. Crazy as it seems, I thought I would have to leave work when I heard Joe Strummer had passed. Knocked the wind right out of me. Sorry for the long response.
Absolutely. The ones who want to "return" their internationally adopted child would top that list.
Do you cut people off of all communication in cases where they are just excessively shitty friends?
First off: what the hell??? "Return"?
Yes. I had to cut off communication with a couple of people last year. I still love them, and wish them the best, but I can't have that level of crazy in my life.
Absolutely. The ones who want to "return" their internationally adopted child would top that list.
Do you cut people off of all communication in cases where they are just excessively shitty friends?
First off: what the hell??? "Return"?
Yes. I had to cut off communication with a couple of people last year. I still love them, and wish them the best, but I can't have that level of crazy in my life.
To address the question of "returning." Yes, in the world of adoption, their is a heinous practice called "adoption disruption." Adopted children shouldn't be considered returnable. Your birth children aren't. Why is it thought that if these children come to you broken, you can take them to the return counter for credit? As an adoptive parent, I'm appalled that this occurs. There are a few instances where this would be necessary, but I do believe it happens far more than it should.
Basically, there are people who adopt children (this is an exception and not a huge rule) who aren't thrilled with their placement for one reason or another. Now grant you, many times they think that they are heroically going in to adopt a child, will get a gold pin and a super Christmas card opportunity. (I say this of my friends who are lily white and adopted their child who in child description, refers to him as "the brown one.) Sometimes people have adopted a broken child (sometimes from a different culture with a different spoken language) that child has issues (my friend's child has been dx'd as institutional autism) and because they don't fit the perfect family mold, they are sent sometimes with a one way ticket back to their original land of birth.
My friends adopted a child from Ethiopia. We were working on our home study coursework and went through the county. It sounds awful to say this, but it seemed like everything we did, they had to do "better." I know it sounds very high school of me to say that, but I swear that it is true. They flew to Haiti to "pick out a child" told Wilene that she would be coming to America, the kids in the orphanage then treated her like shit because she was getting out an you know what? They couldn't get her out because it was too dangerous for the paperwork to be delivered to Port Au Prince. They wanted to go to China for a beautiful musician child (my friend plays/teaches violin,) but they weren't old enough. Her husband pushed and pushed. They were matched with a child from Ethiopia, none of the stories match, the child wasn't who they said he would be (potty trained, well mannered . . . ) and Heather didn't attach well. She tried. He was experiencing attachment issues. He is a RAD kid. When potty training him, if he messed in his pants, she sprayed vinegar into his mouth. She didn't do this with any of her other children. One time at K's birthday party, he did something normal that a little boy would do and she snatched him up, dragged him to the coat room for a spanking and slammed him down in a chair. All this in front of the party and guests. I had to beg my mother-in-law not to call Children's Services on her.
Lewi went off the rails a couple of weeks ago. He basically had a psychotic break. He was taken to residential treatment where he may remain.
They have taken him for treatment. Don't get me wrong, but when her husband got a sign-on bonus from the Cleveland Clinic of maybe $30,000, he gave it to her to either use for treatment for Lewi or to do home improvements. She chose home improvements. The house they sold had lovely new granite counter tops and new Pergo throughout as well as new appliances and God knows what else. She was advised to put him into residential treatment in West Virginia several years ago. The $30,000 would have covered it. The home improvements? They sold the house within 6 months and bought a house that needed a ton of work.
As an adoptive parent, it kills me when this happens. I know that I don't live in their homes and under their circumstances. We don't have birth children and tell them that we'll keep them under certain conditions. Why do we do this with adopted children?
Don't even get me started with the underground adopted child trade in this country. It's a problem. It's a bigger problem than people know.
Continue on with the questions. Just had to answer that one.
Comments
Do you wear flip flops?
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
Do you watch law and order reruns
LIVEFOOTSTEPS.ORG/USER/?USR=435
Do we have some rockin badass women here?
Do you like hummus
LIVEFOOTSTEPS.ORG/USER/?USR=435
(I miss the old L&O with Jerry Orbach)
Do you think Law & Order will outlast us all?
Did Jack Irons write and contribute to some amazing music?
Yeah, Orbach was one of those who, when he passed, just left me sad.
Is it strange to mourn the loss of people we've never met?
No, it's not strange to mourn someone you've never met. It's quite possible they have had an impact on your life, in some way, and your mourning their loss is a recognition of that. Crazy as it seems, I thought I would have to leave work when I heard Joe Strummer had passed. Knocked the wind right out of me. Sorry for the long response.
Do you enjoy magic shows?
Do you have some shitty friends that make you wonder why you are even friends?
Fuckus rules all
Rob
Seattle
Do you cut people off of all communication in cases where they are just excessively shitty friends?
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
Yes. I had to cut off communication with a couple of people last year. I still love them, and wish them the best, but I can't have that level of crazy in my life.
Can you foxtrot?
And yes - which is why my circle of friends isn't even a circle!
(more like a tiny arc
Were YOU at the original performance of Arc?
Nope, can't foxtrot. Can't dance! (don't ask me)
Have you ever danced with Mary Jane?
have you ever danced the conga?
Tattooed Dissident!
Never again!
Do you have a "never again!" moment?
Now I want to dance with Hedonist (I may or may not have similar dance stylings as Elaine).
Have you ever been so drunk you didn't know how loud your own voice was?
Tattooed Dissident!
Have you tripped over your own feet and then failed at trying to re-compose yourself?
(SD, we shall have that dance at some point - others laughing at our Elaine-ness be damned!)
To address the question of "returning." Yes, in the world of adoption, their is a heinous practice called "adoption disruption." Adopted children shouldn't be considered returnable. Your birth children aren't. Why is it thought that if these children come to you broken, you can take them to the return counter for credit? As an adoptive parent, I'm appalled that this occurs. There are a few instances where this would be necessary, but I do believe it happens far more than it should.
Basically, there are people who adopt children (this is an exception and not a huge rule) who aren't thrilled with their placement for one reason or another. Now grant you, many times they think that they are heroically going in to adopt a child, will get a gold pin and a super Christmas card opportunity. (I say this of my friends who are lily white and adopted their child who in child description, refers to him as "the brown one.) Sometimes people have adopted a broken child (sometimes from a different culture with a different spoken language) that child has issues (my friend's child has been dx'd as institutional autism) and because they don't fit the perfect family mold, they are sent sometimes with a one way ticket back to their original land of birth.
My friends adopted a child from Ethiopia. We were working on our home study coursework and went through the county. It sounds awful to say this, but it seemed like everything we did, they had to do "better." I know it sounds very high school of me to say that, but I swear that it is true. They flew to Haiti to "pick out a child" told Wilene that she would be coming to America, the kids in the orphanage then treated her like shit because she was getting out an you know what? They couldn't get her out because it was too dangerous for the paperwork to be delivered to Port Au Prince. They wanted to go to China for a beautiful musician child (my friend plays/teaches violin,) but they weren't old enough. Her husband pushed and pushed. They were matched with a child from Ethiopia, none of the stories match, the child wasn't who they said he would be (potty trained, well mannered . . . ) and Heather didn't attach well. She tried. He was experiencing attachment issues. He is a RAD kid. When potty training him, if he messed in his pants, she sprayed vinegar into his mouth. She didn't do this with any of her other children. One time at K's birthday party, he did something normal that a little boy would do and she snatched him up, dragged him to the coat room for a spanking and slammed him down in a chair. All this in front of the party and guests. I had to beg my mother-in-law not to call Children's Services on her.
Lewi went off the rails a couple of weeks ago. He basically had a psychotic break. He was taken to residential treatment where he may remain.
They have taken him for treatment. Don't get me wrong, but when her husband got a sign-on bonus from the Cleveland Clinic of maybe $30,000, he gave it to her to either use for treatment for Lewi or to do home improvements. She chose home improvements. The house they sold had lovely new granite counter tops and new Pergo throughout as well as new appliances and God knows what else. She was advised to put him into residential treatment in West Virginia several years ago. The $30,000 would have covered it. The home improvements? They sold the house within 6 months and bought a house that needed a ton of work.
As an adoptive parent, it kills me when this happens. I know that I don't live in their homes and under their circumstances. We don't have birth children and tell them that we'll keep them under certain conditions. Why do we do this with adopted children?
Don't even get me started with the underground adopted child trade in this country. It's a problem. It's a bigger problem than people know.
Continue on with the questions. Just had to answer that one.
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
Even though it is still early, could you just crawl in bed and go to sleep right now?
(Hedonist: I look forward to that dance. Elaine's dancing has never been fully appreciated for its genius moves.)
Are you excited for Seinfeld to hit hulu in a couple of weeks?
Fuckus rules all
Rob
Seattle
Are you a Twin Peaks fan?
Tattooed Dissident!
Ugh...that threw me. Are these pretzels making me thirsty?
DEGENERATE FUK
This place is dead
"THERE ARE NO CLIQUES, ONLY THOSE WHO DON'T JOIN THE FUN" - Empty circa 2015
"Kfsbho&$thncds" - F Me In the Brain - circa 2015
Are you master of your domain?
Yes, Pretzels make everyone thirsty!
Do I want pretzels now???
Tattooed Dissident!
Should Pearl Jam name their next album Asshole so the word can be removed from the naught list?
DEGENERATE FUK
This place is dead
"THERE ARE NO CLIQUES, ONLY THOSE WHO DON'T JOIN THE FUN" - Empty circa 2015
"Kfsbho&$thncds" - F Me In the Brain - circa 2015
Will we get another album in this decade from PJ?
Fuckus rules all
Rob
Seattle
Is your throat sore?
DEGENERATE FUK
This place is dead
"THERE ARE NO CLIQUES, ONLY THOSE WHO DON'T JOIN THE FUN" - Empty circa 2015
"Kfsbho&$thncds" - F Me In the Brain - circa 2015
Do you walk around your house naked?
Fuckus rules all
Rob
Seattle
Does your significant other walk around the house naked?
DEGENERATE FUK
This place is dead
"THERE ARE NO CLIQUES, ONLY THOSE WHO DON'T JOIN THE FUN" - Empty circa 2015
"Kfsbho&$thncds" - F Me In the Brain - circa 2015