The plague of neighborhood solicitors and other neighborhood observations.

deadendp

We have people canvass our little dead end street on a fairly frequent basis. Years ago, we were hailed (as in golf balls from the sky) and roofers were flying up and down the one block road and beating on every door. I put up a "No soliciting, please" sign on my front door. That took care of the storm chasers, but I find that the Baptists, Jehovah's Witnesses, lawn care chemical companies and phone companies think that the sign does not apply to them. They'll even approach me in the yard.

A few weeks ago, I saw a troupe of old folks canvassing the neighborhood. They would be the JWs. Now, I watched the woman catch sight of me in my kitchen window. I was cooking dinner and doing dishes. Okay. She eagerly walks down my drive. She stops. She sees the sign on the front door. She turned and went to the side door. The side door has the EXACT same sign. :knock, knock, knock: I wait a few. She's still there. I opened the door a few inches and said, "No soliciting!" I closed it back up quickly. I did catch the look on her face. She was shocked. The sign was right at eye level and isn't in 10 point font. She saw it. She knew.

Fast forward to today. We had a group of young ladies knock on the door. We continued with what we were doing. Our house policy is that if we don't know you, answering the door is optional. We chose not to answer. They left us a bible tract. I was standing, prepared to meet them on the other side and to tell them that I noticed that they had accidentally left their literature on my door. I decided to e-mail their church instead.

"Please know that your young ladies were canvassing the neighborhood and though my door has a sign that said no soliciting, they knocked anyway. That sign did apply to them. We have a church. We believe in God. We treated their visit just as we do JWs, lawn companies and phone company peddlers-- we didn't answer."

Last summer, a church stopped by asking if we "got any kids." No, creeper dude, we DON'T have any kids. We do, but not for you to creep on. He gave us an invitation for children to come to his house for Backyard Bible Club. No thank you. I don't know you. I e-mailed his church. His church basically treated me as if I were a bothered heathen. I could have responded back, but it was falling on deaf ears.

I'd really love to put a sign on my door that says:

1. Jesus is our man. We have religion covered.
2. We have the cookies. We don't need more. If we do, we have a dealer.
3. We like our phone service.
4. We don't need your cable.
5. We don't want your chemicals on our yard, even if you insist that we're "the only ones in the neighborhood without" because, well, that's a flat lie. Organic is the new green, after all.
6. Our child may not come to your house for Backyard Bible Club. We don't know you.
7. We have a child in school and have fundraisers. I'm not being cheap, but understand that we have to buy from her first even if you don't agree. (I had a child argue with me.)

Why is it that people think that it is their right to stop by my house, knock on my door and expect me to answer it? How do you handle solicitors?

We're not crabby people, but we just don't like strangers coming to our home.

Do you have other observations about your neighborhood? Share them. It's not off topic. This is the kind of stuff that makes us laugh!

ldent42

"No habla inglés"
I get the Con Ed people. They are pretending to be from Con Ed to get you to give them your bill so they can make a note of some numbers on your account so they can try to sign you up for some third party billing bullshit. They flat out lie to you about a rebate just so they can sign you up to their scam. Gave me the same "you're the last apartment in the building" bullshit. It's awful when they come to your door cuz they've basically got you cornered. Especially if you have a doorbell from hell like mine.

Last-12-Exit

My kids always ask me to take their fundraisers to work. I tell them every time no. They say, "but dad if I sell the most..." My reply is, I'll get you a bike. But the real reason is if I don't pawn my shit on the people I work with, then I don't have to buy what their kids are selling when they come in selling 5 gallon buckets of cookie dough.

Halifax2TheMax

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 5 gallon buckets of cookie dough! Bahahahaha! I'll tell you what, "bring it in in 55 gallon drums and I'll take two."

I refuse to answer the door, even if they see me sitting in my living room. Fuck 'em. Although I feel a little bad for the high school senior hippy dippy chick, full of idealism, trying to save some furry creature in some country I've never heard of and trying really hard to get me to pledge $25 a month to an organization I've never heard of and when I fill out my name address email I never get anything anyway. You're young, I get it, you'll be wise someday. Now get off my porch and go to college and wisen up.

Enkidu

I hate kids selling magazines. "To help me pay for college." Yeah, right. Go away. I don't want your stinkin' magazines.
Our next-door neighbor is Mormon. When he moved in, he came by to introduce himself. Fine. Somehow religion came up, I said we were Episcopalian and went to a certain church. He said he was Mormon. Fine. Then he started coming by, calling, emailing, inviting us to Mormon events like "Learn About the Real Joseph Smith." No, thanks. We're Episcopalian. Progressive Episcopalian. This went on and on and we tried to stay polite (because he lives next door). It took a couple years and the invitations finally stopped.
Years ago when my son was little we had a nanny/babysitter from Belize and she was a fabulous nanny/babysitter and a BEAST when it came to solicitors. She'd fling open the door and yell at them, "Get out of here and never come back!" I wish I could do that.

oftenreading

Enkidu said:

I hate kids selling magazines. "To help me pay for college." Yeah, right. Go away. I don't want your stinkin' magazines.
Our next-door neighbor is Mormon. When he moved in, he came by to introduce himself. Fine. Somehow religion came up, I said we were Episcopalian and went to a certain church. He said he was Mormon. Fine. Then he started coming by, calling, emailing, inviting us to Mormon events like "Learn About the Real Joseph Smith." No, thanks. We're Episcopalian. Progressive Episcopalian. This went on and on and we tried to stay polite (because he lives next door). It took a couple years and the invitations finally stopped.
Years ago when my son was little we had a nanny/babysitter from Belize and she was a fabulous nanny/babysitter and a BEAST when it came to solicitors. She'd fling open the door and yell at them, "Get out of here and never come back!" I wish I could do that.

Refreshingly direct. Perhaps I'll try that.

On the other hand, I recently WANTED the yard aerator guys to come do my yard. They were roaming the neighbourhood trying to drum up business. I have a long, steep set of stairs down to my back yard and basically wanted someone else to have the hassle of carrying the aerator down to the yard and back up again, so I was willing to pay. I had to chase them down in the street, then call them when they didn't show up at the time we had agreed on, then call again when they were another 30 minutes late. My stalking eventually paid off, though, and my lawn got aerated.

Hobbes

I had some JW's catch me in my drive way as I was leaving. I wanted to be nice so I took their pamphlet and went on my way. It was a Tuesday afternoon. Now they come knocking on my door on (not every) Tuesday afternoon for a follow up. It's like they took a note of my address, time and day of the week knowing when I should be at home. I watch them from my window. They get out of their car, approach my and only my house, get back in their car and drive away when I don't answer. Not cool! I guess at some point I'm going to have to confront them and ask nicely that the leave me alone. When Lightning Bolt first came out, someone mentioned that now they could post the lyrics to Getaway on their front door for such an occasion. Maybe I'll do that

Another time some carpet cleaners were trying to get in my house to demonstrate their product. Like a little too intrusive. Kept looking around me to see what I had. Felt like they were scoping my house out and were going to come back and rob the place. I had to be an asshole with them. Basically, right before they left my next words were going to be if you don't leave I'm calling the cops. Maybe I should have, but nobody on my street got robbed or their carpets cleaned.

RKCNDY

Ugh, so I live in a house where there are 15 steps to get to the front door-there's 2 sets of stairs, I would think most people wouldn't want to walk up the steps, but they just walk across my front lawn (Grrrr, don't trample my grass!).
Since I live in the city, there are people who knock on doors to check and see if people are home so they can come back and break-in, and of course the neighborhood is dense so people like to solicit. You're damned to answer the door or not.

We recently got a strange envelope in the mail, I check the return address, "who the he'll do we know that lives in the U-district?"...open the envelope, in shaky chickenscratch, "we invite you to celebrate the death of our beloved..." there is a flyer that mentions 'the watchtower', so I start thinking of Jimi...or PJ, freaking JW's! I learned long ago to not be nice to the religious recruiters, if you're nice and accept anything you'll go on their 'list', and they will never leave you alone. Makes me wonder if I can get the Mormons, JWs, Christians and B'hai people to all show up at my door at the same time.

I'm just glad I have a little dog that barks up a shit storm when someone knocks on the door...never thought I'd be saying that, but it's great. Most people don't want to hear her constantly bark at them, so when I say, "no thanks" they usually don't push any further.

BLACK35

If I answer the door, I let them start the spiel, then I interrupt them and say "this is the one time I will say It nice...Not interested, if I have to stop u again, u will not like what I have to say, your choice?" Most of the time they turn around and leave, there have been a few of them that have gotten a verbal lashing, usually don't see them for a long time after that.

deadendp

oftenreading said:

Enkidu said:

I hate kids selling magazines. "To help me pay for college." Yeah, right. Go away. I don't want your stinkin' magazines.
Our next-door neighbor is Mormon. When he moved in, he came by to introduce himself. Fine. Somehow religion came up, I said we were Episcopalian and went to a certain church. He said he was Mormon. Fine. Then he started coming by, calling, emailing, inviting us to Mormon events like "Learn About the Real Joseph Smith." No, thanks. We're Episcopalian. Progressive Episcopalian. This went on and on and we tried to stay polite (because he lives next door). It took a couple years and the invitations finally stopped.
Years ago when my son was little we had a nanny/babysitter from Belize and she was a fabulous nanny/babysitter and a BEAST when it came to solicitors. She'd fling open the door and yell at them, "Get out of here and never come back!" I wish I could do that.

Refreshingly direct. Perhaps I'll try that.

On the other hand, I recently WANTED the yard aerator guys to come do my yard. They were roaming the neighbourhood trying to drum up business. I have a long, steep set of stairs down to my back yard and basically wanted someone else to have the hassle of carrying the aerator down to the yard and back up again, so I was willing to pay. I had to chase them down in the street, then call them when they didn't show up at the time we had agreed on, then call again when they were another 30 minutes late. My stalking eventually paid off, though, and my lawn got aerated.

This one made me laugh!

The one time I took the Watchtower stuff to just make the woman go away. My mom told me that they would continue to return. I knew when she said she was coming back. I left her information and information from my church for her. She left me a note and my info and said that she could see that we looked at religion differently. She never returned again.

It's getting on to election season again. The one guy scared my daughter. She thought he was a scary homeless guy on the porch. (He was running to be our Senate rep.) She thought he came to "take her dinner." She was maybe 3 1/2. I've had politicians follow me on walks down the street with my daughter. Once, K- fell, split her lip and I was running her back home to tend to her wounds. The politician was running with me, and not pausing, all the while wearing heels. Wow. She didn't care that my child was bleeding profusely. She just wanted me to vote for her. I did not vote for her.

It also bugs me when these people approach my daughter. She likes to hang outside. She now knows that if she sees a stranger on the street (again, a dead end street and we know everyone) that she is to come inside until they go away.

I don't come to your house peddling my religion or 5 gallon buckets of cookie dough. (That is hilarious!) Don't come to mine!

Indifference71

I don't get this too often where I'm at. On the rare times it does happen, I usually just say 'no thanks' and shut the door. I don't want to not answer the door because they could be casing the place. Since I'm in the city, I do get a lot of people on street corners trying to stop me and tell me about the environment or whatever. Can't people just leave me alone?!? It's so fucking rude. If I'm interested in something, I'll find you.

deadendp

^^ My SIL used to live in Roscoe Village and used to have people come up to her door (opened her gate and ran up a full flight of steps to get to the door) all day long. I also had homeless people follow me from Whole Foods on School Street down a few blocks, asking me for money. I had to be rude. The guy wouldn't go away. Believe me, it wasn't the groceries in my bag he wanted. If so, I would have given them to him and gone to get myself more.

Indifference71

deadendp said:

^^ My SIL used to live in Roscoe Village and used to have people come up to her door (opened her gate and ran up a full flight of steps to get to the door) all day long. I also had homeless people follow me from Whole Foods on School Street down a few blocks, asking me for money. I had to be rude. The guy wouldn't go away. Believe me, it wasn't the groceries in my bag he wanted. If so, I would have given them to him and gone to get myself more.

I live in Roscoe Village! Small world. Sounds like I'm pretty lucky that we don't get a lot of solicitors.

MayDay10

I dont get solicitors... but we have a ton of kids on our street. Holy shit. They come selling crap in droves like trick or treaters, selling shit for hockey, football, dancing, who the hell knows. Then you have my neighbors there with them, what do I say no?

I try not to answer the door... The problem is I have a 2 year old who naps... as well as 2 Jack Russells who go BONKERS when the doorbell rings. So that pisses me off.

hedonist

Wow - living in a condo for the last 23+ years, I didn't realize this was so prevalent. I don't even recall it happening more than a handful of times growing up in a house.

I do remember the Hare Krishna folks at LAX though, looking for donations and potential new members (not sure if that's the right term).

My mom always advised me to "stay away from them", but I was enamored of the their music, happiness, and those odd cool little ponytails.

Entertaining and interesting thread!

Amongst the Ani

Live in a neighborhood with an HOA that doesn't allow door to door solicitors. Doesn't stop the JW's or Mormons but you now what does. Put Slayer on in the background when you see them coming, tell them you have taken Lucifer as your god and tell them you would like them to come in so you can discuss the virtues of your god to convert them. As tempted as they will be to try and convert you they will be too scared to come in. They will want to talk to you on your porch, keep inisting you will only talk to them in your house. They will leave and never come back. It worked like a charm the last 2 houses we lived at. They skipped my house every time after that.

whispering hands

cdysinge said:

Live in a neighborhood with an HOA that doesn't allow door to door solicitors. Doesn't stop the JW's or Mormons but you now what does. Put Slayer on in the background when you see them coming, tell them you have taken Lucifer as your god and tell them you would like them to come in so you can discuss the virtues of your god to convert them. As tempted as they will be to try and convert you they will be too scared to come in. They will want to talk to you on your porch, keep inisting you will only talk to them in your house. They will leave and never come back. It worked like a charm the last 2 houses we lived at. They skipped my house every time after that.

Hahaha!!

Hobbes

cdysinge said:

Live in a neighborhood with an HOA that doesn't allow door to door solicitors. Doesn't stop the JW's or Mormons but you now what does. Put Slayer on in the background when you see them coming, tell them you have taken Lucifer as your god and tell them you would like them to come in so you can discuss the virtues of your god to convert them. As tempted as they will be to try and convert you they will be too scared to come in. They will want to talk to you on your porch, keep inisting you will only talk to them in your house. They will leave and never come back. It worked like a charm the last 2 houses we lived at. They skipped my house every time after that.

I might try this. I don't think I have any Slayer laying around anymore. Maybe some Ozzy!

Amongst the Ani

Anything dark and heavy will work.

For the young Mormons missionaries my wife used to laugh as when they would catch me in the right mood I would invite them in and talk with them to try and convert them. Challenge their belief structure and they won't know how to answer. Ask them if they are a good person and when they reply of course ask why then they need a god to tell them to not hurt others. Ask them if god gave you a hand, gave you your private parts and made masturbating feel so good why then god would be against them doing it. They will give you some crap about leading to the devil. Keep going back to saying I am a very good person who helps others and I don't need a god to make me one. Ask them why they believe Gandhi is burning in hell when he did spend his whole existence pushing for peace for mankind. Ask how they can believe Mother Theresa is burning in hell when all she did her whole life was help the sick. Keep pushing philosophical questions on them. They were taught to reply with certain answers and that is all they know. At one point you will see them start thinking and that is when you push that their religion is crap. I think over they years I may have pushed one or two closer to a non believer. All those missionary kids grew up in Mormonism but are still teenagers with teenage thoughts.

Wobbie

how about the meat guy who "has some extra steaks because" (some phony reason) or the kids selling magazines in order to "stay off drugs"?

PJSiren

I had this guy selling some magic cleaner and I couldn't get him to go away...he basically barged his way in to show me how it would clean my stove and when I wouldn't buy any he was a total asshole....I couldn't believe how rude he got it was like are you serious???