Assaulted
brianlux
Posts: 41,633
People often say you should not post personal stuff on social media but this is one of those things I need to get off my chest and so many of you here are friends and it's really easier to write about this than to talk about it so...
Yesterday was both one of the best and worst days of my life. My second Goddaughter got married and it was just fantastic. The wedding, the gathering of extended family- some of whom I had seen in 30 or 40 years- the location, the reception/party- everything was beautiful and fantastic. When it got late we said our goodbyes, my wife and step-daughter and I headed for home- a two and a half hour drive. About half way home we stopped for gas. When we pulled into the station we say a small group of young black men messing around kind of roughly and it was after midnight (not at all meaning to sound racist but they did look a bit rough and I would have felt the same way about any young group of ruffians) and it bugged me a little but it just seemed like they were keeping to themselves so I went into the station and gave the attendant a twenty for gas. As I walked out the door to fill up I suddenly felt a very sharp blow to the back of my head and everything flashed white for a moment. One of the young men had crept up behind me and punched the back of my head. I heard they guy spit out at me, "Bitch!" I was dazed for a few seconds and turned around and said, "what the fuck was that for?" He and the others- I guess they would be best described as gang bangers- were all focused on us. My step daughter was in the back seat and my wife was getting something out of the back of the car so I quickly said to her, "Get in the car and call the cops." The punk said to her, "You get in that car and I'll kill you." We both dove into the car and she was already dialing. I got in and closed the door and hit the all door lock. The guy got up to my window and yelled, "If you call the cops I'll break the window" and almost right away hit the window very hard and loud with his fist- I'm amazed it didn't break. I threw the car into gear and tore out of there as my wife started talking to dispatch. Once we got a safe distance I talked to the dispatch officer and was told there were no police officers available and would be a good while before anyone could come. That was hugely frustrating to hear. I guess if there is anything good to be said about this is that I could have been hurt much worse. I think I must have been moving a little faster than the guy anticipated because I'm fairly certain he meant to knock me out or kill me. The whole thing was totally unprovoked and it makes no sense to me. It may have been racially motivated on his part but I don't know. I'd gotten gas at this station before (it's right off I-80) in a predominantly black area but that never bothered me. After talked to dispatch we drove back by the station to see if we could get their license plate number but they were gone so I went in and talked to the two attendants. They were very cool. They were also black men and even they had taken some shit from these guys and they were very understanding. One of them had gotten some kind of beverage thrown at him so my suspicion that this was racial became lessened. I just don’t have a clue as to what it was all about. The worst thing is that the incident kept playing over in my head after we got home and tried to get some sleep and after a few hours of restless sleep I woke up and the whole thing just keeps playing over and over again in my head. All my years working in a counseling training program seem to be of no help. I'm really at a loss as to how to deal with this.
Yesterday was both one of the best and worst days of my life. My second Goddaughter got married and it was just fantastic. The wedding, the gathering of extended family- some of whom I had seen in 30 or 40 years- the location, the reception/party- everything was beautiful and fantastic. When it got late we said our goodbyes, my wife and step-daughter and I headed for home- a two and a half hour drive. About half way home we stopped for gas. When we pulled into the station we say a small group of young black men messing around kind of roughly and it was after midnight (not at all meaning to sound racist but they did look a bit rough and I would have felt the same way about any young group of ruffians) and it bugged me a little but it just seemed like they were keeping to themselves so I went into the station and gave the attendant a twenty for gas. As I walked out the door to fill up I suddenly felt a very sharp blow to the back of my head and everything flashed white for a moment. One of the young men had crept up behind me and punched the back of my head. I heard they guy spit out at me, "Bitch!" I was dazed for a few seconds and turned around and said, "what the fuck was that for?" He and the others- I guess they would be best described as gang bangers- were all focused on us. My step daughter was in the back seat and my wife was getting something out of the back of the car so I quickly said to her, "Get in the car and call the cops." The punk said to her, "You get in that car and I'll kill you." We both dove into the car and she was already dialing. I got in and closed the door and hit the all door lock. The guy got up to my window and yelled, "If you call the cops I'll break the window" and almost right away hit the window very hard and loud with his fist- I'm amazed it didn't break. I threw the car into gear and tore out of there as my wife started talking to dispatch. Once we got a safe distance I talked to the dispatch officer and was told there were no police officers available and would be a good while before anyone could come. That was hugely frustrating to hear. I guess if there is anything good to be said about this is that I could have been hurt much worse. I think I must have been moving a little faster than the guy anticipated because I'm fairly certain he meant to knock me out or kill me. The whole thing was totally unprovoked and it makes no sense to me. It may have been racially motivated on his part but I don't know. I'd gotten gas at this station before (it's right off I-80) in a predominantly black area but that never bothered me. After talked to dispatch we drove back by the station to see if we could get their license plate number but they were gone so I went in and talked to the two attendants. They were very cool. They were also black men and even they had taken some shit from these guys and they were very understanding. One of them had gotten some kind of beverage thrown at him so my suspicion that this was racial became lessened. I just don’t have a clue as to what it was all about. The worst thing is that the incident kept playing over in my head after we got home and tried to get some sleep and after a few hours of restless sleep I woke up and the whole thing just keeps playing over and over again in my head. All my years working in a counseling training program seem to be of no help. I'm really at a loss as to how to deal with this.
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.
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Have you seen or need to go to the doctor? Just to make sure everything is OK on your physical side.
On the emotional/human side, I'm not sure of the best way to handle it all, but know there are many shoulders and ears here, mine included.
Take good care, all three of you.
The emotional/human side isn't doing so well. I feel traumatized in a way I haven't before and I'm struggle with understanding the non-understandable- the question "why?" I'm also struggle with the racial aspect because I've read some racist comments in the past about the "knockout" game (which I'm wondering if that's what this was about) and yet what happened (if this is what is it about) fits the typical description of person of color hitting white stranger with intent to knock out (maybe explains the emphatic "bitch" spewed at me because I maintained consciousness?). Or maybe it was a racist attack. The racism isn't mine, that's for sure- I wanted to hug those two big black dudes who worked at the gas station and we exchanged warm hand shakes after I went back to talk to them. They were way cool and they came out to the car to extend sincere concern to my wife and step-daughter.
The hardest part right now is being in the spin cycle- seeing the scene over and over in my mind. I guess that will pass.
Thank you so much for strong shoulders and kind ears. I appreciate that more than I can tell you.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
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You're lucky that it didn't escalate Brian. These fellows will only get braver if left unchecked. They need to be charged. For the betterment of the next guy the line up somewhere... don't let this go, Brian.
Got some something really, really awesome news: A few hours ago I became a great uncle again and this time it's a girl! Excellent!!
I am so sorry this happened to you and your family. It is heartbreaking. If I may offer some advice: Don’t spend time trying to figure out the ‘why’ would someone do this to you. There is NO excuse for ‘why’ these young men terrorized your family. You did nothing wrong. They were horrible human beings before you crossed paths with them, and they will be horrible human beings after.
While the assault replays in your mind and you think of all of the things you coulda/shoulda/woulda done differently, please know that you DID do the RIGHT thing. You and your family survived! That is what matters. It will take time as well as support from family and friends to heal. We get by with a little help from our friends …
I say this from experience. PM sent.
As OMGKatWoman said - ask for surveillance cameras - the one at the gas station might not be the only one. Surveillance cameras are set up all over the place - be a squeaky wheel, those tapes record over themselves after a certain amount of time. Write down everything you can remember about what the assailant looked like and wore, speech, even smell. And anything about the other guys. Since there was only one guy out of the bunch who attacked and pursued - sounds like a gang initiation to me. Just a guess. Either way, I'm so glad you were not hurt worse but i wish this did not happen to you at all.
You are probably trying to come to terms with the event because you can't understand how someone could be harming you when you did not provoke them and when you do not hold stereotypes against them. This is all screwing around with your belief system and it will never make sense. There are bad people, for whatever reason, of every color and faith and sex; this does not mean that you are wrong for believing you were safe when you saw them - you just know next time that if a group of people of any type are acting in a suspicious way; it's okay to be aware of them and if they enter your surrounding area. Sometimes, there's no way of avoiding senseless violence - that's why it's senseless. And you did nothing wrong.
Thank goodness you are all okay physically. Emotionally, you've been violated, that's gonna take awhile longer. Congratulations on the new baby girl in the family. You needed a smile. Give yourself a break - or write about it - whatever helps. Let us know if they catch those assholes.
I'm sorry about what you've been through, seems very scary.
You handled the situation in a good way so that your wife, step-daughter and you got away from there fast.
Kudos for your quick thinking. You managed to keep your family safe - after just having suffered a blow to the head to boot, that's quite an achievement!
Congrats on the great niece too :-)
As for the why: you didn't do anything wrong, you were at the wrong place at the wrong time. It's your assailants who have the problem, not you. I hope they catch those bastards.
They love you so badly for sharing their sorrow, so pick up that guitar and go break a heart - Kris Kristofferson
Shouldnt go for gas in shady area after midnight. Especially if "locals" there are giving off a bad vibe.
My bad, thought I typed "post"
He said there were dudes outside being all loud and horsing around who looked rough.
To me that would make me uncomfortable and I would get me and my family out of there. Leave, stretch it out to the next exit, who knows. Maybe the needle was pegged on E and there was no choice.
I do have a lot of experience living at or nearby pretty rough areas though and have gotten in sketchy situations in the past to learn.
I would have ran the pieces of shit over with my car, and taken my chances with the law on a later date.
'But your honor I was in fear for the lives of my family"
"I was knocked to the ground from behind"
'These thugs had threatened to kill my wife"
"I was trying to do my best to escape"
'I wasn't attempting to run them over, It was an accident, in no way did I intentionally run these boys over"
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....