Assaulted
brianlux
Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,675
People often say you should not post personal stuff on social media but this is one of those things I need to get off my chest and so many of you here are friends and it's really easier to write about this than to talk about it so...
Yesterday was both one of the best and worst days of my life. My second Goddaughter got married and it was just fantastic. The wedding, the gathering of extended family- some of whom I had seen in 30 or 40 years- the location, the reception/party- everything was beautiful and fantastic. When it got late we said our goodbyes, my wife and step-daughter and I headed for home- a two and a half hour drive. About half way home we stopped for gas. When we pulled into the station we say a small group of young black men messing around kind of roughly and it was after midnight (not at all meaning to sound racist but they did look a bit rough and I would have felt the same way about any young group of ruffians) and it bugged me a little but it just seemed like they were keeping to themselves so I went into the station and gave the attendant a twenty for gas. As I walked out the door to fill up I suddenly felt a very sharp blow to the back of my head and everything flashed white for a moment. One of the young men had crept up behind me and punched the back of my head. I heard they guy spit out at me, "Bitch!" I was dazed for a few seconds and turned around and said, "what the fuck was that for?" He and the others- I guess they would be best described as gang bangers- were all focused on us. My step daughter was in the back seat and my wife was getting something out of the back of the car so I quickly said to her, "Get in the car and call the cops." The punk said to her, "You get in that car and I'll kill you." We both dove into the car and she was already dialing. I got in and closed the door and hit the all door lock. The guy got up to my window and yelled, "If you call the cops I'll break the window" and almost right away hit the window very hard and loud with his fist- I'm amazed it didn't break. I threw the car into gear and tore out of there as my wife started talking to dispatch. Once we got a safe distance I talked to the dispatch officer and was told there were no police officers available and would be a good while before anyone could come. That was hugely frustrating to hear. I guess if there is anything good to be said about this is that I could have been hurt much worse. I think I must have been moving a little faster than the guy anticipated because I'm fairly certain he meant to knock me out or kill me. The whole thing was totally unprovoked and it makes no sense to me. It may have been racially motivated on his part but I don't know. I'd gotten gas at this station before (it's right off I-80) in a predominantly black area but that never bothered me. After talked to dispatch we drove back by the station to see if we could get their license plate number but they were gone so I went in and talked to the two attendants. They were very cool. They were also black men and even they had taken some shit from these guys and they were very understanding. One of them had gotten some kind of beverage thrown at him so my suspicion that this was racial became lessened. I just don’t have a clue as to what it was all about. The worst thing is that the incident kept playing over in my head after we got home and tried to get some sleep and after a few hours of restless sleep I woke up and the whole thing just keeps playing over and over again in my head. All my years working in a counseling training program seem to be of no help. I'm really at a loss as to how to deal with this.
Yesterday was both one of the best and worst days of my life. My second Goddaughter got married and it was just fantastic. The wedding, the gathering of extended family- some of whom I had seen in 30 or 40 years- the location, the reception/party- everything was beautiful and fantastic. When it got late we said our goodbyes, my wife and step-daughter and I headed for home- a two and a half hour drive. About half way home we stopped for gas. When we pulled into the station we say a small group of young black men messing around kind of roughly and it was after midnight (not at all meaning to sound racist but they did look a bit rough and I would have felt the same way about any young group of ruffians) and it bugged me a little but it just seemed like they were keeping to themselves so I went into the station and gave the attendant a twenty for gas. As I walked out the door to fill up I suddenly felt a very sharp blow to the back of my head and everything flashed white for a moment. One of the young men had crept up behind me and punched the back of my head. I heard they guy spit out at me, "Bitch!" I was dazed for a few seconds and turned around and said, "what the fuck was that for?" He and the others- I guess they would be best described as gang bangers- were all focused on us. My step daughter was in the back seat and my wife was getting something out of the back of the car so I quickly said to her, "Get in the car and call the cops." The punk said to her, "You get in that car and I'll kill you." We both dove into the car and she was already dialing. I got in and closed the door and hit the all door lock. The guy got up to my window and yelled, "If you call the cops I'll break the window" and almost right away hit the window very hard and loud with his fist- I'm amazed it didn't break. I threw the car into gear and tore out of there as my wife started talking to dispatch. Once we got a safe distance I talked to the dispatch officer and was told there were no police officers available and would be a good while before anyone could come. That was hugely frustrating to hear. I guess if there is anything good to be said about this is that I could have been hurt much worse. I think I must have been moving a little faster than the guy anticipated because I'm fairly certain he meant to knock me out or kill me. The whole thing was totally unprovoked and it makes no sense to me. It may have been racially motivated on his part but I don't know. I'd gotten gas at this station before (it's right off I-80) in a predominantly black area but that never bothered me. After talked to dispatch we drove back by the station to see if we could get their license plate number but they were gone so I went in and talked to the two attendants. They were very cool. They were also black men and even they had taken some shit from these guys and they were very understanding. One of them had gotten some kind of beverage thrown at him so my suspicion that this was racial became lessened. I just don’t have a clue as to what it was all about. The worst thing is that the incident kept playing over in my head after we got home and tried to get some sleep and after a few hours of restless sleep I woke up and the whole thing just keeps playing over and over again in my head. All my years working in a counseling training program seem to be of no help. I'm really at a loss as to how to deal with this.
"It's a sad and beautiful world"
-Roberto Benigni
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Comments
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Oh my gosh, Brian, I am so sorry to hear about this. I am relieved to read that you, your wife, and your step-daughter are ok.ELITIST FUK0
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Brian, this is beyond bullshit. I'm very sorry.
Have you seen or need to go to the doctor? Just to make sure everything is OK on your physical side.
On the emotional/human side, I'm not sure of the best way to handle it all, but know there are many shoulders and ears here, mine included.
Take good care, all three of you.0 -
^^ Thank you so much, SD and Hedonist. Having previously had a concussion I'm fairly certain there is not major damage. My head hurts but nothing like when I had the concussion.
The emotional/human side isn't doing so well. I feel traumatized in a way I haven't before and I'm struggle with understanding the non-understandable- the question "why?" I'm also struggle with the racial aspect because I've read some racist comments in the past about the "knockout" game (which I'm wondering if that's what this was about) and yet what happened (if this is what is it about) fits the typical description of person of color hitting white stranger with intent to knock out (maybe explains the emphatic "bitch" spewed at me because I maintained consciousness?). Or maybe it was a racist attack. The racism isn't mine, that's for sure- I wanted to hug those two big black dudes who worked at the gas station and we exchanged warm hand shakes after I went back to talk to them. They were way cool and they came out to the car to extend sincere concern to my wife and step-daughter.
The hardest part right now is being in the spin cycle- seeing the scene over and over in my mind. I guess that will pass.
Thank you so much for strong shoulders and kind ears. I appreciate that more than I can tell you."It's a sad and beautiful world"-Roberto Benigni0 -
Brian, consider the playing things over and over is really you attempting to justify ignoring your initial inner voice? By no means does the fault with you. Take heed of the inner voice in the future. Glad all are ok._____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________
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Brian you cant make sense of what happened because your civilized, these thugs are people who probably came from disturbed or broken homes and have nothing better to do than to cause trouble for attention to impress their mates or to satisfy their frustration they are having at home, so they break all civilized scrupals and feel in power on the street, unfortunately you were at the wrong place at the wrong time.. Jerry can next time might be an idea if travelling so late.. You did nothing wrong accept for abide by the law, I dont think it was racist, they just wanted to pick on somebody and you were it, if it were someone else walking by at that time it would have been them..These thug either go two ways, they stay in a currupted path or they get reformed to better people but sadly that is rare now bc they even raise their family in that state with pride kind of love while the general world outside suffer..Best thing to do is to try avoid being at the wrong place at the wrong time, hard I know but night time usually is unsafe.. Glad your okay and werent stabbed or anything..0
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Racial or not - you're right, who knows? - in the end It's about being human and civil and also about simple hate; that disconnect is something I'll never get.0
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You dont get it because you have not lived their morbid life,-- with bad choices and corruption, thankfully though..and if you did you obviously took wise choices and had somebody show you.. To be honest it is sad they become like that but its no excuse to harm others, they are big enough to know whats right and wrong so they deserve to pay the consequences..0
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Thank goodness you and your family are ok. Much love for you all from Texas.0
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Thanks for love and kind thoughts, friends.
"It's a sad and beautiful world"-Roberto Benigni0 -
I feel so bad for you and your family. It seems like that guy had a lot of misplaced anger and crazy rage, and it could have been worse. Maybe your guardian angel was looking out for you that day.0
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Wow! Reading your story I'm so relieved that you and your family are ok. You acted very bravely by doing what you did to tell your wife to get in the car and to get there yourself in time. I think it's normal to replay such a traumatic experience over and over. We all try to think about what we could do differently. You did everything right. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time and no one can fault you for that. You got out safely and got your family to safety too. Peace to you Brian. Hope you sleep better tonight.5/3/92 Omaha, NE
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Wow, damn dude. Glad you and your family are ok8/28/98- Camden, NJ
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^^ and ^^ thank you both. Really helps to check in here today.
"It's a sad and beautiful world"-Roberto Benigni0 -
Wow brian, wtf! Dude, holyshit man, that's some fucked up shit bro. Got to be honest with you bro, at least no body but you was hit. Not saying it's nothing but could've been sooooo much worse. U handled it perfectly bro, no need to be superman in that situation. Shit like that pisses me off! Makes you want to go back and take vengeance upon your self. But glad to hear everyone is good, fuck man, shits unreal.0
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Wow! Really happy you and your family is ok and safe and I feel really bad that something as horrible as that happened . I hope the cops follow through and check for survelliance tape and nail those assholes. Please take care!0
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This.OMGkatwoman said:Wow! Really happy you and your family is ok and safe and I feel really bad that something as horrible as that happened . I hope the cops follow through and check for survelliance tape and nail those assholes. Please take care!
You're lucky that it didn't escalate Brian. These fellows will only get braver if left unchecked. They need to be charged. For the betterment of the next guy the line up somewhere... don't let this go, Brian."My brain's a good brain!"0 -
^^ Thanks so much badbrains. Yeah, I've had the occasional revenge fantasies but I only for a little while.
"It's a sad and beautiful world"-Roberto Benigni0 -
Good point, Thirty. First call I make tomorrow morning is the Fairfield PD. I told them already I want them to check the stations cameras.Thirty Bills Unpaid said:
This.OMGkatwoman said:Wow! Really happy you and your family is ok and safe and I feel really bad that something as horrible as that happened . I hope the cops follow through and check for survelliance tape and nail those assholes. Please take care!
You're lucky that it didn't escalate Brian. These fellows will only get braver if left unchecked. They need to be charged. For the betterment of the next guy the line up somewhere... don't let this go, Brian.
Got some something really, really awesome news: A few hours ago I became a great uncle again and this time it's a girl! Excellent!!
Post edited by brianlux on"It's a sad and beautiful world"-Roberto Benigni0 -
Congratulations! Awesome news, the only girl? Wow, she is special indeed! >:D<0
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Brian,brianlux said:
The emotional/human side isn't doing so well. I feel traumatized in a way I haven't before and I'm struggle with understanding the non-understandable- the question "why?" ...
The hardest part right now is being in the spin cycle- seeing the scene over and over in my mind. I guess that will pass.
Thank you so much for strong shoulders and kind ears. I appreciate that more than I can tell you.
I am so sorry this happened to you and your family. It is heartbreaking. If I may offer some advice: Don’t spend time trying to figure out the ‘why’ would someone do this to you. There is NO excuse for ‘why’ these young men terrorized your family. You did nothing wrong. They were horrible human beings before you crossed paths with them, and they will be horrible human beings after.
While the assault replays in your mind and you think of all of the things you coulda/shoulda/woulda done differently, please know that you DID do the RIGHT thing. You and your family survived! That is what matters. It will take time as well as support from family and friends to heal. We get by with a little help from our friends …
I say this from experience. PM sent.
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