California mayor says bullied kids need to grow a pair.

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Comments

  • dignindignin Posts: 9,336
    PJ_Soul said:

    dignin said:

    PJ_Soul said:

    dignin said:

    PJ_Soul said:

    dignin said:

    PJ_Soul said:

    http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/oddnews/california-mayor-sparks-controversy-by-telling-bullying-victims-to-‘grow-a-pair’-172657192.html

    I posted the yahoo link due to that we all know they are unbiased and conisitantly misspell words ect ect.

    I like his message. Could he have used better wording? Of course. But I like it, let's stop the pussification of this country.

    While I totally agree that North America is being severely pussified and something has to be done about that (but nothing will be)
    So, let me get this right. In one thread you say there is a problem with misogyny in our society and then you make a statement like this. I am confused.

    What are you confused about? That I used the term pussification? Don't be confused. I've just got a potty mouth and don't put any stock in a word like that having any impact on real shit. If the term "pussification" never existed or disappeared forever right now, that would have no impact either way on misogyny in our society. I generally only care about things that actually matter, not silly little things like how the term "pussy" might be related to women.... And btw, ever heard of scaredy cats? Pussy cats are wimps sometimes. ;) Sometimes when my cat is sketching out as cats are wont to do, I tell her to stop being a pussy, and then chuckle.

    If anything was going to offend you in that context, it should have been "grow a pair". As though testicles make people tough. Pfft. But again, stupid shit like that doesn't matter. We're talking about real stuff here.
    I was in no way offended. Saying pussification, to me, implies feminization. If we are worried about a misogynist world wouldn't we strive for more pussification? A more gentle, kinder world?


    Ohh, lol. I gotcha. I didn't equate the opposite of pussification to a less gentle world necessarily. When I think of this issue, I think about how kids aren't even being prepared for the real world at all. I.e. kids getting trophies for last place and shit like that. Or people in their 20s being their moms to their first day of work after university (yes, this happens!!!!), or simply not having the guts to take control of their own business or well-being. It didn't occur to me that it might mean marching around acting like some stupid tough guy, peeing on things to mark territory or whatever, lol. Also, pussification in NO way implies feminization to me, because that would suggest that females aren't tough, which is, of course, total nonsense. And alternately, you are suggesting that females are kinder than men, which I would also say is bullshit. Some of the nastiest people I have ever met were women.


    I consider myself a feminist. I want equal rights for women. If I had a daughter I would want her to have all the same opportunities that a man would have and all that. Where I differ from some feminists is the belief that we are the same. We are not, we will never be.

    I think that men are more aggressive and violent. We have different levels of chemicals floating around in our brains. I do not believe we were raised that way, I think we were born that way.

    But there are always exception to the rule.

    I agree that men and women aren't the same.... Are there actually still feminists out there who think that? I thought that kind of thinking had become nearly obsolete by now... kind of an attitude that swept feminism in earlier days of the movement. That said, I think men have changed as well as women. I think certain sensitivities have crossed over in the past 40 years or so, and the lines are a lot more blurry than they used to be when you're talking aggressiveness and emotional sensibility, especially since humans are able to feed off of higher level thinking rather than just instinct. But yeah, of course testosterone still plays a role.
    I think we are somewhere on the same page. And yes, I apparently know feminists who think men and women are exactly the same.

    I apologize for getting so off topic here. Maybe this kind of theme could be tied in with bulling in some way. There seems like there should be a correlation.
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    edited May 2014
    dignin said:

    dignin said:

    PJ_Soul said:

    dignin said:

    PJ_Soul said:

    dignin said:

    PJ_Soul said:

    http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/oddnews/california-mayor-sparks-controversy-by-telling-bullying-victims-to-‘grow-a-pair’-172657192.html

    I posted the yahoo link due to that we all know they are unbiased and conisitantly misspell words ect ect.

    I like his message. Could he have used better wording? Of course. But I like it, let's stop the pussification of this country.

    While I totally agree that North America is being severely pussified and something has to be done about that (but nothing will be)
    So, let me get this right. In one thread you say there is a problem with misogyny in our society and then you make a statement like this. I am confused.

    What are you confused about? That I used the term pussification? Don't be confused. I've just got a potty mouth and don't put any stock in a word like that having any impact on real shit. If the term "pussification" never existed or disappeared forever right now, that would have no impact either way on misogyny in our society. I generally only care about things that actually matter, not silly little things like how the term "pussy" might be related to women.... And btw, ever heard of scaredy cats? Pussy cats are wimps sometimes. ;) Sometimes when my cat is sketching out as cats are wont to do, I tell her to stop being a pussy, and then chuckle.

    If anything was going to offend you in that context, it should have been "grow a pair". As though testicles make people tough. Pfft. But again, stupid shit like that doesn't matter. We're talking about real stuff here.
    I was in no way offended. Saying pussification, to me, implies feminization. If we are worried about a misogynist world wouldn't we strive for more pussification? A more gentle, kinder world?


    Ohh, lol. I gotcha. I didn't equate the opposite of pussification to a less gentle world necessarily. When I think of this issue, I think about how kids aren't even being prepared for the real world at all. I.e. kids getting trophies for last place and shit like that. Or people in their 20s being their moms to their first day of work after university (yes, this happens!!!!), or simply not having the guts to take control of their own business or well-being. It didn't occur to me that it might mean marching around acting like some stupid tough guy, peeing on things to mark territory or whatever, lol. Also, pussification in NO way implies feminization to me, because that would suggest that females aren't tough, which is, of course, total nonsense. And alternately, you are suggesting that females are kinder than men, which I would also say is bullshit. Some of the nastiest people I have ever met were women.


    I think that men are more aggressive and violent. We have different levels of chemicals floating around in our brains. I do not believe we were raised that way, I think we were born that way.

    But there are always exception to the rule.

    I would argue that it is a bit of both. We are wired a certain way- and we are raised differently than girls.

    Look at the toys bought for little boys compared to girls. Look at the activities we place boys in compared to girls. Look at the mentalities we forge in boys compared to girls.
    I would agree with most of this. In my experience seeing my friends kids and my nieces and nephews around me grow up though it does seem that the boys seem to gravitate toward the more stereotypical boys toys and the same goes for the girls. Without obvious bias from parents.

    It's not always the case. Sometimes the girls pick up a gun and the boys pick up a doll.

    This is all anecdotal though.
    the bias is there beacuse we put those toys in front of the kids... if they had to totally seek out playthings themselves it might be different. the media is full of 'stereotypical' advertising that our kids see all the time. and even if we nmange to keep them away from all the sometimes not so subliminal bullshit, the minute theyre out of our sight and in the care and company of others our influence diminishes tenfold...you find sally who never had any interest in dolls(mainly cause you didnt buy them for her) now wants a doll cause sophies got one.

    you know when my kids were ,llittle and theyd pick up a stick or something and start to do the gunplay thing, id pull them up on it and ask them couldnt it be something else? did it have to be a gun? they stopped and thought about it and usually thought of someway else to play.

    s
    Post edited by catefrances on
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  • This topic is completely linked to bullying. Especially the section that attempts to illustrate that men and women have fundamental differences that exist within them.

    I can't help but think that bullying behaviour can at least partially be attributed to basic instincts deep within us: both sexes may unconsciously and instinctually exhibit bullying behaviours while establishing a social hierarchy. Often, when you ask kids why they treated another child poorly... they cannot offer a reason why- they truly don't know why.

    We see such behaviour manifest itself in primates and various other animal species. Is it unreasonable to suggest that as much as we like to think of ourselves as 'removed' from the other species we inhabit the earth with... that we really aren't as far removed as we would like to think?

    Don't get me wrong... I'm not providing a defence for such behaviour suggesting it's a completely natural thing and that we should just accept 'survival of the fittest' as part of our social code. What I am saying is that if there is any legitimacy to what I have questioned... then we have much work to do to break such instinctual behaviour.
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • dignindignin Posts: 9,336

    This topic is completely linked to bullying. Especially the section that attempts to illustrate that men and women have fundamental differences that exist within them.

    I can't help but think that bullying behaviour can at least partially be attributed to basic instincts deep within us: both sexes may unconsciously and instinctually exhibit bullying behaviours while establishing a social hierarchy. Often, when you ask kids why they treated another child poorly... they cannot offer a reason why- they truly don't know why.

    We see such behaviour manifest itself in primates and various other animal species. Is it unreasonable to suggest that as much as we like to think of ourselves as 'removed' from the other species we inhabit the earth with... that we really aren't as far removed as we would like to think?

    Don't get me wrong... I'm not providing a defence for such behaviour suggesting it's a completely natural thing and that we should just accept 'survival of the fittest' as part of our social code. What I am saying is that if there is any legitimacy to what I have questioned... then we have much work to do to break such instinctual behaviour.

    Good post.

  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    dignin said:

    This topic is completely linked to bullying. Especially the section that attempts to illustrate that men and women have fundamental differences that exist within them.

    I can't help but think that bullying behaviour can at least partially be attributed to basic instincts deep within us: both sexes may unconsciously and instinctually exhibit bullying behaviours while establishing a social hierarchy. Often, when you ask kids why they treated another child poorly... they cannot offer a reason why- they truly don't know why.

    We see such behaviour manifest itself in primates and various other animal species. Is it unreasonable to suggest that as much as we like to think of ourselves as 'removed' from the other species we inhabit the earth with... that we really aren't as far removed as we would like to think?

    Don't get me wrong... I'm not providing a defence for such behaviour suggesting it's a completely natural thing and that we should just accept 'survival of the fittest' as part of our social code. What I am saying is that if there is any legitimacy to what I have questioned... then we have much work to do to break such instinctual behaviour.

    Good post.

    agree.. theres something deeper that we as supposedly highly evolved animals choose to pretend doesnt exist simply because we dont see ourselves as just another animal species on this planet.. when in fact thats exactly what we are. .

    hear my name
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  • chadwickchadwick Posts: 21,157
    i see self & others as animal. many are lost as they avoid being animal. if human being is animal how are they not this?

    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."

    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Posts: 49,957
    chadwick said:

    i see self & others as animal. many are lost as they avoid being animal. if human being is animal how are they not this?

    Human beings are animals of course. But that doesn't mean that they can't evolve in a way that allows them to overcome many of their animalistic instincts (as we define animalistic... I mean, since we are animals, no matter what our behaviour may be it is still technically animalistic by definition I guess, but you know what I mean I hope). I think that's pretty obvious in many, many ways on an individual and societal level. Simply the fact that we are capable of doing that is a part of our natural evolution IMO, and is one of the main things that separates us from other animals/primates........... Wtf are we talking about here? I can't even remember anymore, lol.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    PJ_Soul said:



    chadwick said:

    i see self & others as animal. many are lost as they avoid being animal. if human being is animal how are they not this?

    Human beings are animals of course. But that doesn't mean that they can't evolve in a way that allows them to overcome many of their animalistic instincts (as we define animalistic... I mean, since we are animals, no matter what our behaviour may be it is still technically animalistic by definition I guess, but you know what I mean I hope). I think that's pretty obvious in many, many ways on an individual and societal level. Simply the fact that we are capable of doing that is a part of our natural evolution IMO, and is one of the main things that separates us from other animals/primates........... Wtf are we talking about here? I can't even remember anymore, lol.
    i believe were trying to figure out how to curb the violence so prevalent in our society.
    hear my name
    take a good look
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    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • dignindignin Posts: 9,336
    PJ_Soul said:



    chadwick said:

    i see self & others as animal. many are lost as they avoid being animal. if human being is animal how are they not this?

    Wtf are we talking about here? I can't even remember anymore, lol.
    The best discussions usually end up this way.

  • i_lov_iti_lov_it Posts: 4,007
    edited May 2014

    This topic is completely linked to bullying. Especially the section that attempts to illustrate that men and women have fundamental differences that exist within them.

    I can't help but think that bullying behaviour can at least partially be attributed to basic instincts deep within us: both sexes may unconsciously and instinctually exhibit bullying behaviours while establishing a social hierarchy. Often, when you ask kids why they treated another child poorly... they cannot offer a reason why- they truly don't know why.

    We see such behaviour manifest itself in primates and various other animal species. Is it unreasonable to suggest that as much as we like to think of ourselves as 'removed' from the other species we inhabit the earth with... that we really aren't as far removed as we would like to think?

    Don't get me wrong... I'm not providing a defence for such behaviour suggesting it's a completely natural thing and that we should just accept 'survival of the fittest' as part of our social code. What I am saying is that if there is any legitimacy to what I have questioned... then we have much work to do to break such instinctual behaviour.

    Good point and with the 'Partially attributed to Basic Instincts' I agree with you there and there comes a Point where Human Beings should be evolved enough and Intelligent enough to be able to know when not to over step over the Mark and should know better, But like you said it is a part of us and it is Hardwired into our Brains and Instinct.
    Post edited by i_lov_it on
  • backseatLover12backseatLover12 Posts: 2,312

    This topic is completely linked to bullying. Especially the section that attempts to illustrate that men and women have fundamental differences that exist within them.

    I can't help but think that bullying behaviour can at least partially be attributed to basic instincts deep within us: both sexes may unconsciously and instinctually exhibit bullying behaviours while establishing a social hierarchy. Often, when you ask kids why they treated another child poorly... they cannot offer a reason why- they truly don't know why.

    It's called insecurity. The more secure we are, the less we look to validate ourselves by putting another person down.

  • backseatLover12backseatLover12 Posts: 2,312

    dignin said:

    This topic is completely linked to bullying. Especially the section that attempts to illustrate that men and women have fundamental differences that exist within them.

    I can't help but think that bullying behaviour can at least partially be attributed to basic instincts deep within us: both sexes may unconsciously and instinctually exhibit bullying behaviours while establishing a social hierarchy. Often, when you ask kids why they treated another child poorly... they cannot offer a reason why- they truly don't know why.

    We see such behaviour manifest itself in primates and various other animal species. Is it unreasonable to suggest that as much as we like to think of ourselves as 'removed' from the other species we inhabit the earth with... that we really aren't as far removed as we would like to think?

    Don't get me wrong... I'm not providing a defence for such behaviour suggesting it's a completely natural thing and that we should just accept 'survival of the fittest' as part of our social code. What I am saying is that if there is any legitimacy to what I have questioned... then we have much work to do to break such instinctual behaviour.

    Good post.

    agree.. theres something deeper that we as supposedly highly evolved animals choose to pretend doesnt exist simply because we dont see ourselves as just another animal species on this planet.. when in fact thats exactly what we are. .

    Totally agree.
  • brianluxbrianlux Posts: 42,049

    PJ_Soul said:



    chadwick said:

    i see self & others as animal. many are lost as they avoid being animal. if human being is animal how are they not this?

    Human beings are animals of course. But that doesn't mean that they can't evolve in a way that allows them to overcome many of their animalistic instincts (as we define animalistic... I mean, since we are animals, no matter what our behaviour may be it is still technically animalistic by definition I guess, but you know what I mean I hope). I think that's pretty obvious in many, many ways on an individual and societal level. Simply the fact that we are capable of doing that is a part of our natural evolution IMO, and is one of the main things that separates us from other animals/primates........... Wtf are we talking about here? I can't even remember anymore, lol.
    i believe were trying to figure out how to curb the violence so prevalent in our society.
    Excellent succinct summation. I'll give that one a go here:

    Violence in carnivorous animals is a necessary requirement for survival. We as humans, on the other hand, are capable of feeding ourselves with less violence or minimal violence toward animals (although how minimal that violence is certainly arguable) by reducing our consumption of meat.

    Another major cause of violence in nature is shortages of resources. Pigs and some other animals will turn on each other and become cannibals. If we learned distribute resources fairly (at least such that everyone's basic needs are met) there would be far less reason for violence.

    Better distribution of resources would be more easily achieved if we reduced our population and had better planning for population distribution starting by dismantling (or abandoning) suburbia and move toward small cities built as walkable communities surrounded by rural areas for food production and allowing plenty of room interconnected wild lands. There are many studies that show that overcrowding of most species leads to increased violence.

    I think it could also be argued that unhealthy environmental conditions also lead ill health, both physical and mental, which can contribute to increased violence. That's where alternative energy, decreased automobile use, increased rail service and reduction of resource consumption come in.

    If everything I've said here hold up then my conclusion would be that violence can be reduced by lessening our consumption of meat, improving our distribution of resources, lowering and better distributing our populations, reducing our consumption of natural resources, working to improve environmental conditions and allowing for greater interconnected wild lands.

    That pretty much sums up what has been my philosophy for several decades but I know I'm part of the problem too. At least I've taken my aggression out on cardboard boxes or yelling at the moon or working to be more centered rather than punching some poor helpless sucker. Damn those bullies. Yeah, I think that's where this started.





    “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
    Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.













  • mattsl1983mattsl1983 Posts: 711

    So from the comments I'm guessing most of you think that we should always go to someone else when we have problems? Let's just always rely on someone else to help? No need to stand up for yourself as a first course of action, but rather just go to someone else and they will take care of it?

    So when my kid is threatened with or experiences physical violence by someone who has 100 or more pounds on them, you'd be okay with my kid shooting the bully with a legally, or otherwise, obtained gun and claiming self defense? At what point after sticking up for themselves should my kid "go to someone else to take care of it?"

    Peace.
    Really, that's your argument?

    If your kid was picked on and decided to get a gun and shoot someone, I'd say you failed as a parent. Because what, every kid that gets picked on gets a gun and shoots someone? Yea...

    Kids have teased kids since the beginning of kids. This whole idea that we can prevent it from happening while it runs rampet in the adult world is beyond me.

    There is a line, I don't deny that. But today it seems that anytime a kid gets their feelings hurt by a peer, we call that bullying. And we must stop that and stop always running first and cater to the kid who's feelings got hurt. Yea in the term used "grow a pair", or "get thicker skin", or "sticks and stones" ect ect. This whole idea of bullying is out of control, completely media driven that liberals jump on and add it to their plite of issues that has to be stopped, when in fact as grown ups what you say is wrong for kids to do is okay for adults to do. It's a complete hypocritical notion. And there is no proven studies that link any school shootings to bullying, the closest correlation they can find is rejection.

    So yea, cuddle your kid, and assume they will just end up having to shoot someone. My son knows that if someone gives him a hard time, he needs to stand up for himself first. And if things get worse then go to me or the school. It's a parental issue, not a government issue.
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    You two up there both make good points and to me, it comes down to that last sentence:

    "It's a parental issue, not a government issue."

    Now, where the parenting side fails opens yet another door.
  • i_lov_iti_lov_it Posts: 4,007
    edited May 2014
    hedonist said:

    You two up there both make good points and to me, it comes down to that last sentence:

    "It's a parental issue, not a government issue."

    Now, where the parenting side fails opens yet another door.

    That is True what if the Parental side Fails...then does that fall onto the Government?...Certainly Makes it interesting.

  • Halifax2TheMaxHalifax2TheMax Posts: 39,044

    So from the comments I'm guessing most of you think that we should always go to someone else when we have problems? Let's just always rely on someone else to help? No need to stand up for yourself as a first course of action, but rather just go to someone else and they will take care of it?

    So when my kid is threatened with or experiences physical violence by someone who has 100 or more pounds on them, you'd be okay with my kid shooting the bully with a legally, or otherwise, obtained gun and claiming self defense? At what point after sticking up for themselves should my kid "go to someone else to take care of it?"

    Peace.
    Really, that's your argument?

    If your kid was picked on and decided to get a gun and shoot someone, I'd say you failed as a parent. Because what, every kid that gets picked on gets a gun and shoots someone? Yea...

    Kids have teased kids since the beginning of kids. This whole idea that we can prevent it from happening while it runs rampet in the adult world is beyond me.

    There is a line, I don't deny that. But today it seems that anytime a kid gets their feelings hurt by a peer, we call that bullying. And we must stop that and stop always running first and cater to the kid who's feelings got hurt. Yea in the term used "grow a pair", or "get thicker skin", or "sticks and stones" ect ect. This whole idea of bullying is out of control, completely media driven that liberals jump on and add it to their plite of issues that has to be stopped, when in fact as grown ups what you say is wrong for kids to do is okay for adults to do. It's a complete hypocritical notion. And there is no proven studies that link any school shootings to bullying, the closest correlation they can find is rejection.

    So yea, cuddle your kid, and assume they will just end up having to shoot someone. My son knows that if someone gives him a hard time, he needs to stand up for himself first. And if things get worse then go to me or the school. It's a parental issue, not a government issue.
    If your kid goes out and “bullies” another kid, I’d say you failed as a parent. Because what, every kid that gets picked on doesn’t jump off a cement mixing tower, like what happened in Florida or hang themselves in their closet, which happened in Massachusetts, to cite two such cases? Yea, try telling that to those grieving parents.

    I don’t know what adult world you occupy but “bullying” doesn’t “run rampant” in my world or my every day. Furthermore, as adults, we’re uniquely qualified, some more so than others, to deal or cope with it. Our brain’s cognitive ability and relative maturity make it so we can cope and deal with it. To equate “kids” with adults as it relates to “bullying” is a specious argument. There’s a reason you have to be 18 to do many things and why there’s a juvenile justice system, etc. Not all “kids” have the benefit of age, wisdom and/or brain development and rational parents to adequately deal with a “bully.”

    Where is this “liberal” outrage you speak of that anytime a kid gets his feelings hurt, it’s an episode of “bullying” that needs to stop? Where is this idea that “bullying” is out of control, completely media driven that liberals jump on and add it to their plate of issues that has to be stopped? Where is this coming from? In the alternate universe that is conservative thought? I consider myself a well read and fairly well informed consumer of news and media. This thread and the Yahoo link to the mayor in some small town in California is the first I heard that “bullying” is out of control or that its some made up liberal boogey man. Kind of like the war on Christmas or Obama’s coming for your guns. And there may not be any link to school shootings from “bullying” but there is research based studies that show links to depression, suicide, less education and smaller financial success and lifetime achievement.

    Yea, I will cuddle my kid and like you, have taught them how to deal with a “bully” in an appropriate manner, including the use of force in kind if all else fails like telling a school administrator, parent or other adult. Those variables aren’t always there or if they are, doing something about it or helping. How about parents teach their kids compassion and kindness? Something 8 years of compassionate conservatism apparently failed to do. Is it nature or nurture? And if we don’t run first to the “bullied”, who then should we run or cater to? The “bully”? Look up the word “tease” and compare it to # 1 below. Not the same thing.

    Peace.

    bul•ly
    1 ˈbʊl iShow Spelled [boo l-ee] Show IPA
    noun, plural bul•lies.
    1.
    a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.
    2.
    Archaic. a man hired to do violence.
    3.
    Obsolete . a pimp; procurer.
    4.
    Obsolete . good friend; good fellow.
    5.
    Obsolete . sweetheart; darling.
    verb (used with object), bul•lied, bul•ly•ing.
    6.
    to act the bully toward; intimidate; domineer.
    verb (used without object), bul•lied, bul•ly•ing.
    7.
    to be loudly arrogant and overbearing.
    adjective
    8.
    Informal. fine; excellent; very good.
    9.
    dashing; jovial; high-spirited.
    interjection
    10.
    Informal. good! well done!
    ________________________________________
    Origin:
    1530–40; < Middle Dutch boele lover

    Related forms
    bul•ly•a•ble, adjective
    un•bul•lied, adjective
    un•bul•ly•ing, adjective

    Synonyms
    6. cow, browbeat, coerce; terrorize, tyrannize.

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  • mattsl1983mattsl1983 Posts: 711
    Really? Yet again you make no point at all.

    You like to think yourself as such a news informed person yet you've never noticed the bullying issue being pushed? I'm a bit curious as to what news you are keeping yourself so informed on? Yea I know it won't be cnn or msnbc...

    Really, so bullying doesn't exist in the adult world, okay... Are you taking your personal experience and applying that as a fact, or have you read anything about it? Google work bullies, just because you have a different personal experience doesn't mean what you've never experienced doesn't exist.

    In order to continue this conversation, how about we come to mutual agreement of what what defined bulling. Yea yea I know you copy and pasted the Webster dictionary term, but what is bullying to you? Define it please. Because if a kid ever made fun of your kid for wearing kmart shoes, and your kid came home crying, would you consider that bullying? And if in your example of your first response on this issue, your kid was so upset about being made fun of his shoes; he gets a gun and shouts the other kids. Would you consider him bullied?

    I have a feeling you are trying to aurgue for the same of arguing. Which I can understand. We are all opinionated and have the right to express those opinions. My whole point of this thread was basically, is it the governments or parents job to correct child behavior. And is it possibly correct we always try and get away from the idea that sometimes some people will tease you, and that you need to learn to deal with it first instead of running away and expecting someone else to take care of it? But yet you point out that us as adults are more adapt to deal with it? Cause we put ourselves in the situation that could justify being bullied? Complete hypocrisy.


    I have no idea what the 2nd amendment has to do with this but okay, yea you are completely right?

  • Halifax2TheMaxHalifax2TheMax Posts: 39,044
    Really? Yet again you make no point at all.

    You like to think yourself as such a news informed person yet you've never noticed the bullying issue being pushed? I'm a bit curious as to what news you are keeping yourself so informed on? Yea I know it won't be cnn or msnbc...

    No, I haven’t noticed the bullying issue being pushed. What do you mean by “pushed” anyway? While CNN and MSNBC are sources I check or tune into, my sources of information are a diverse array of sources and perspectives. I do tend to avoid the nut job, conspiracy sources though.

    Really, so bullying doesn't exist in the adult world, okay... Are you taking your personal experience and applying that as a fact, or have you read anything about it? Google work bullies, just because you have a different personal experience doesn't mean what you've never experienced doesn't exist.

    No, I didn’t say it doesn’t exist in “the adult world.” Here is what I said: “I don’t know what adult world you occupy but “bullying” doesn’t “run rampant” in my world or my every day” in response to the claim that you’re trying to make, that:

    “This whole idea of bullying is out of control, completely media driven that liberals jump on and add it to their plite of issues that has to be stopped, when in fact as grown ups what you say is wrong for kids to do is okay for adults to do.”

    In order to continue this conversation, how about we come to mutual agreement of what what defined bulling. Yea yea I know you copy and pasted the Webster dictionary term, but what is bullying to you? Define it please.

    Bullying, to me, is like pornography, you know it when you see it. Actually, I think the Dictionary.com definition defines it for me quite nicely, that’s why I used it. But if it’ll make you feel better that I define it in my own words: Bullying is the persistent, unwelcome harassment, either verbal and/or physical or through the use of social media that may or may not include name calling, teasing, shunning, degradation, threats of violence, physical intimidation and/or other forms of unwelcome behavior of an aggressor toward someone who the aggressor, and/or the aggressor’s social circle, views, deems or considers weaker, perhaps because of physical stature or some other innate quality (sexual orientation, race, sex, height, age, weight, type of clothes they wear, economic status, etc.) of the victim “different” from the aggressor and their social circle. What is your definition of bullying?

    Because if a kid ever made fun of your kid for wearing kmart shoes, and your kid came home crying, would you consider that bullying?

    No.

    And if in your example of your first response on this issue, your kid was so upset about being made fun of his shoes; he gets a gun and shouts the other kids. Would you consider him bullied?

    No.

    I have a feeling you are trying to aurgue for the same of arguing.

    No, I’m not arguing for the sake of arguing, I’m pointing out that the so called idea that you profess to believe, that “This whole idea of bullying is out of control, completely media driven that liberals jump on and add it to their plite of issues that has to be stopped, when in fact as grown ups what you say is wrong for kids to do is okay for adults to do” is bullshit because a mayor of a small town in California objects to the creation of bully free zones or whatever they were suggesting to do was leading to the “pussification” of this country as you so succinctly put it.

    Which I can understand. We are all opinionated and have the right to express those opinions.

    I agree.

    My whole point of this thread was basically, is it the governments or parents job to correct child behavior.

    In the absence of parents or in the presence of clueless parents, administrators or other, so-called “responsible” adults, whose job should it be to help kids who are bullied, if not the government? I don’t think the government is stepping into this arena as far as I can tell. A middle school student initiative from a small town in California does not a “government” make:

    The Fresno Bee reports that the ‘Safe Zone’ proposal was a student initiative started by Burton Middle School students. The zones would be city-designated buildings where bullying victims could go to and get help.

    And is it possibly correct we always try and get away from the idea that sometimes some people will tease you, and that you need to learn to deal with it first instead of running away and expecting someone else to take care of it?

    Teasing is not the same as bullying. Again, check the definition of the two terms, They cannot or should not be used interchangeably. What is your definition of teasing? In your own words, please. As a parent, if your kid was bullying another kid, not teasing, but bullying, would you reprimand them and/or punish them for it?

    But yet you point out that us as adults are more adapt to deal with it?

    Aren’t we as adults better able to deal with bullying? Aren’t we more mature, have higher functioning brains, the ability to better process the situation and understand it? Or do you believe all kids are born with hard wired, ready to go adult brains?

    Cause we put ourselves in the situation that could justify being bullied? Complete hypocrisy.

    No, not that we put ourselves in the situation and that somehow justifies it, whatever you mean by that, but rather, as adults, and again, some more than others, we’re better equipped to deal with bullying, whether in the workplace or elsewhere and that in the workplace there are resources and entities that can protect you from bullying behavior.

    I have no idea what the 2nd amendment has to do with this but okay, yea you are completely right?

    The 2nd amendment is my reference to the faux outrage machine, which is where I categorize this as an issue. Not bullying but your claim that what a small town in California has dealt with on the issue of bullying is somehow leading to the “pussification” of this country. It ranks right up there with Obama’s coming for your guns, death panels, the war on Christmas, feminists are coming to steal your manhood, etc. Turn off the faux outrage machine. And if having a different opinion from you makes me right, so be it.

    I’m also sick of the belittling or infantile debate on issues of importance. It seems that the conservative echo chamber is intent on denigrating and belittling serious issues that we can agree are issues that may need to be addressed because they don’t want to offer solutions. Claiming that how a small town in California is trying to address an important issue that, if left unchecked or debated or addressed, leads to the “pussification” of this country is one such example.

    “A kinder, gentler nation.” “Compassionate conservatism.” I wish more conservatives and so called Christians would practice more of what they claim as their values.

    Peace.
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  • Jason PJason P Posts: 19,138
    We need to bring back the merry-go-round to toughen today's youngsters up. Now that I think about it, about 3/4 of the playground equipment in the 80's could kill you.
  • Halifax2TheMaxHalifax2TheMax Posts: 39,044
    Should have seen the stuff I grew up playing on, in and around. Superfund site anyone?

    Peace.
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  • Jason PJason P Posts: 19,138

    Should have seen the stuff I grew up playing on, in and around. Superfund site anyone?

    Peace.

    Did you have this thing? A metal pole with chains attached to a swivel. Add ten kids until they gain enough steam until they levitate and eventually go flying through the air. Once saw a classmate go flying over some hedge bush and break his arm. Good times.

    image
  • Halifax2TheMaxHalifax2TheMax Posts: 39,044
    No, we didn't have that thing but we had a merry go round that if you didn't sit or stand in the middle, you'd get thrown off of it no matter how tightly you held on. The thing was set in hard packed dirt with tree roots coming out so when you landed it was like asphalt with the added dimension of knarly, smooth tree roots. Definitely blood being borne. And it rocked so if your leg got thrown underneath when you went flying off the thing, you'd get a nice smoosh from the whirling wood base. I learned to avoid it when the big kids were there. Still fun times!

    Peace.
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  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Posts: 49,957
    edited June 2014
    Jason P said:

    Should have seen the stuff I grew up playing on, in and around. Superfund site anyone?

    Peace.

    Did you have this thing? A metal pole with chains attached to a swivel. Add ten kids until they gain enough steam until they levitate and eventually go flying through the air. Once saw a classmate go flying over some hedge bush and break his arm. Good times.

    image
    Lol. My elementary school had one of those. Tons of dangerous fun. Another really popular game was "bump". We'd get on those massive wooden teeter-totters and the whole point was to bump the kid at the other end of it off so he'd go flying. Kids would circle around and encourage the players to really put their back in it because the higher the kid flew and the more disasterous the landing the better the game was. Lol. Kids got hurt all the time on the playground back then, but they and their parents were indeed way tougher. Everyone understood that it was a part of a life worth living. Now? Well.... no comment.

    My dad got his leg caught under a merry-go-round when he was a kid in the 1940s. It was badly broken and he has a huge nasty scar about 10 inches long on his thigh. When be had the cast up to his hip he'd crawl up on the same merry-go-round while his friends did the pushing. :)
    I also remember how a lot of playgrounds had zip lines. Those were fantastic.
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • mattsl1983mattsl1983 Posts: 711
    edited June 2014
    Halifax, don't feel like taking up half a page quoting,

    First, I will admit that one of my points was a bit confusing, I had a little too much red wine at dinner and thoughts get a bit lost.

    With you using the dictionary.com meaning of the word bullying, the example I asked about if your kid got made fun of because he had cheap shoes on; that would be counted as bullying. But to that example you said it wasn't bullying. Hence why I asked you to define it in your own words.

    Conservatism or "they are coming for our guns" has nothing to do with this issue. And to lump them together you are completely missing the issue we are talking about here. You can not deny the push in today's society for political correctness and if anyone gets their feelings hurt, there is a price to pay. That's why I refer to it as the pussification of our country.

    And you are saying adults are better equipped to deal with bullying? Do you think maybe it's because we have witnessed it/or participated in it in our youth? Or do we just become adults and know how to deal with things all of a sudden?

    So my point is, yes wolf gets cried more times than not when it comes to bullying. Are there real bullies out there and situations that need to be addressed, yes. Is it the governments responsibility to spend tax dollars when the family and schools are more than apt to handle the situation, because they are there, present, and know the situation? No. Leave the government out of it. Let the parents decide. That is if you are an active parent and pay attention and know your kids.

    Post edited by mattsl1983 on
  • Halifax2TheMaxHalifax2TheMax Posts: 39,044
    Halifax, don't feel like taking up half a page quoting,

    First, I will admit that one of my points was a bit confusing, I had a little too much red wine at dinner and thoughts get a bit lost.

    With you using the dictionary.com meaning of the word bullying, the example I asked about if your kid got made fun of because he had cheap shoes on; that would be counted as bullying. But to that example you said it wasn't bullying. Hence why I asked you to define it in your own words.

    When I was a kid they were called “skippies” and it was Sneaker King and Chuck Taylors versus Stride Right and Nikes or Tough Skin jeans versus Levis. Making fun of someone’s shoes or calling them skippies is not akin to bullying. Again, read the definition, “…an overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates……..”

    Conservatism or "they are coming for our guns" has nothing to do with this issue. And to lump them together you are completely missing the issue we are talking about here. You can not deny the push in today's society for political correctness and if anyone gets their feelings hurt, there is a price to pay. That's why I refer to it as the pussification of our country.

    The conservative faux outrage machine, which is the context that I lumped this issue in with, as you presented it, does have something to do with it. Death panels, Obama coming for your guns, the war on Christmas and now the “pussification” of our country because people have their feelings hurt? I can deny that there is a “push” in today’s society for political correctness as it relates to this topic because I do not see a ground swell of proposed legislation or of people taking to the streets demanding an end to “feelings being hurt.” You posted a link to a story about one small town in California where some middle school kids thought it would be a good idea to have safe havens from bullying in public buildings and tried to equate the mayor’s subsequent statement of opposition and the need for folks to “grow a pair” into the “pussification” of our country. I respectively disagree with your characterization and point of view as I don’t believe “there is a price to pay if anyone gets their feelings hurt.”

    And you are saying adults are better equipped to deal with bullying?

    Yes.

    Do you think maybe it's because we have witnessed it/or participated in it in our youth?

    Could be. But it also could be other factors like maturity, education, better understanding of the world around us and what makes people do the stupid shit they do. Are you saying that if you’ve never been bullied as a child, you wouldn’t know how to cope with it as an adult?

    Or do we just become adults and know how to deal with things all of a sudden?

    No, through the process of becoming an adult we learn lots of things, like how to deal with bullies.

    So my point is, yes wolf gets cried more times than not when it comes to bullying. Are there real bullies out there and situations that need to be addressed, yes. Is it the governments responsibility to spend tax dollars when the family and schools are more than apt to handle the situation, because they are there, present, and know the situation? No. Leave the government out of it. Let the parents decide. That is if you are an active parent and pay attention and know your kids.

    Again, one small town in California does not a “government” make. And even if they did create these “bully safe havens” through the democratic process, so what? The middle school kids had an issue they felt strongly about, they approached their elected representatives, lobbied and saw an ordinance get passed by the city council. Isn’t that how democracy is supposed to work? And if you’re a kid without active parents or with parents who don’t know you (it is not like there are no neglected children in these great United States, now is there?), who is supposed to look out for you? I wish people would be this vociferous in opposition to, oh I don’t know, the fracking fluid used in North Carolina where the legislature passed a law making it against the law to disclose the chemicals that go into the fracking fluid yet all the industry folks and legislators deem the fluid safe, to give one such example. Continue to be distracted by the faux outrage machine. Me, I’m not buying it.

    Peace.

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  • mattsl1983mattsl1983 Posts: 711
    So are you saying if a kid persistently was being made fun of because of their shoes, it's still not bullying? That would fit into your definition.

    Again, you keep bring up points that has nothing to do with the issue.

    Does that one small town not have a local government, which in part plays a role in the state government, which then plays a role in the federal government? I didn't know we don't consider a small town to have no government. Yes they took the correct democratic steps in bring up their issue and idea. They just didn't get the response they wanted. Happens all the time in politics.

    If you haven't noticed the push for political correctness and the trials by media, then I would really like to know what news sources you use. What's the faux distraction machine? I can only assume it's other media that you dismiss because you disagree with it?

    I'm not saying that if you've never been bullied you don't know how to cope, but like you I can't say it helps or doesn't help. But like a lot of things, if you've experienced something or seen something before, you are more likely apt to hand

    I suppose we agree to disagree.
  • Halifax2TheMaxHalifax2TheMax Posts: 39,044
    yup

    peace.
    09/15/1998 & 09/16/1998, Mansfield, MA; 08/29/00 08/30/00, Mansfield, MA; 07/02/03, 07/03/03, Mansfield, MA; 09/28/04, 09/29/04, Boston, MA; 09/22/05, Halifax, NS; 05/24/06, 05/25/06, Boston, MA; 07/22/06, 07/23/06, Gorge, WA; 06/27/2008, Hartford; 06/28/08, 06/30/08, Mansfield; 08/18/2009, O2, London, UK; 10/30/09, 10/31/09, Philadelphia, PA; 05/15/10, Hartford, CT; 05/17/10, Boston, MA; 05/20/10, 05/21/10, NY, NY; 06/22/10, Dublin, IRE; 06/23/10, Northern Ireland; 09/03/11, 09/04/11, Alpine Valley, WI; 09/11/11, 09/12/11, Toronto, Ont; 09/14/11, Ottawa, Ont; 09/15/11, Hamilton, Ont; 07/02/2012, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/04/2012 & 07/05/2012, Berlin, Germany; 07/07/2012, Stockholm, Sweden; 09/30/2012, Missoula, MT; 07/16/2013, London, Ont; 07/19/2013, Chicago, IL; 10/15/2013 & 10/16/2013, Worcester, MA; 10/21/2013 & 10/22/2013, Philadelphia, PA; 10/25/2013, Hartford, CT; 11/29/2013, Portland, OR; 11/30/2013, Spokane, WA; 12/04/2013, Vancouver, BC; 12/06/2013, Seattle, WA; 10/03/2014, St. Louis. MO; 10/22/2014, Denver, CO; 10/26/2015, New York, NY; 04/23/2016, New Orleans, LA; 04/28/2016 & 04/29/2016, Philadelphia, PA; 05/01/2016 & 05/02/2016, New York, NY; 05/08/2016, Ottawa, Ont.; 05/10/2016 & 05/12/2016, Toronto, Ont.; 08/05/2016 & 08/07/2016, Boston, MA; 08/20/2016 & 08/22/2016, Chicago, IL; 07/01/2018, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/03/2018, Krakow, Poland; 07/05/2018, Berlin, Germany; 09/02/2018 & 09/04/2018, Boston, MA; 09/08/2022, Toronto, Ont; 09/11/2022, New York, NY; 09/14/2022, Camden, NJ; 09/02/2023, St. Paul, MN; 05/04/2024 & 05/06/2024, Vancouver, BC; 05/10/2024, Portland, OR;

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  • josevolutionjosevolution Posts: 29,567
    I believe that bullying starts in the Family ...
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
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