California mayor says bullied kids need to grow a pair.
mattsl1983
Posts: 711
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/oddnews/california-mayor-sparks-controversy-by-telling-bullying-victims-to-‘grow-a-pair’-172657192.html
I posted the yahoo link due to that we all know they are unbiased and conisitantly misspell words ect ect.
I like his message. Could he have used better wording? Of course. But I like it, let's stop the pussification of this country.
I posted the yahoo link due to that we all know they are unbiased and conisitantly misspell words ect ect.
I like his message. Could he have used better wording? Of course. But I like it, let's stop the pussification of this country.
0
Comments
Porterville is one of many relatively small and insignificant valley towns here in CA. Kind of like the town in the Sierra's western slope where I live in. Sometimes people in these places are like kids seeking negative attention. I'm guessing that's the case here.
So ok, I agree that if someone is being teased and they call it bullying then that's going over-board. When I was a kid I used to be called "soapy" and "suds". That was teasing- not a very big deal. But I also had to deal with these issues: being hunted down and roughed up by this gang we called "The Green Jacket Gang", having the palm of my hand burned by an older boy, being punched on my spine several times by an older guy in high school- kinda dangerous, was held under water once, and had a kid come at me with a butcher knife once.
"The zones would be city-designated buildings where bullying victims could go to and get help." Boy, goddamn, I could of used a place like that. Someone has a problem with that?
"It's an opportunity for the community to come together, as a whole, and say that we're not going to take this bullying in our town.” And this is a problem for some, why?
The kind of abuse I mentioned- and worse- is bullying and that kind of thing is what we who speak out against bullying are talking about. Oh, and by the words and looks of this guy, I'm guessing he was a bully once as well. But for all I know he's just another insignificant mayor in yet another little insignificant town. Ho hum.
Sorry to be so crass but come on- kids get injured and even killed by bullys and certainly scarred. Maybe instead of a pair of nards how about a couple of revolvers? Yeah, there's the ticket! Let's arm our kids to the teeth.
Sorry, matts, but I've been on the receiving end so I'm not with you on this one. Maybe we (including me) could just all learn to be a bit more nice- wuzzy as that may sound.
As an adult I am better equipped to deal with a bully than I was when I was a kid.
Anything that can help any kid get through the day is fine in my books.
and for Brianlux, ugh, I'm so sorry
Not only does the behaviour contribute to the development of negative feelings for the victim... it contributes to the development of delinquent behaviour in the bully. Either way... we lose.
Bullies need their 'pair' snipped. Zero tolerance- period.
We can get tougher using much more acceptable methods such as accountability in school, the home, and socially (ostracize bullies until their poor behaviour stops).
'Simple' bullying (persistent name calling, etc.) might best be handled by a kid on their own with the background support of parents. In high school, running to the teacher to tell on some guy that keeps ear flicking you might not be wise- the kid is assured of inviting more behaviour (probably by a larger group) and becoming socially ostracized.
As scary as it might be, a kid might be best served punching a bully in the face. Obviously, this step would be a last measure after the victim has made it clear they do not appreciate the treatment and has endured the unwanted attention for a while. But allowing one's self to be the punching bag instead of standing up for yourself is damaging beyond repair. It is my overwhelming experience that kids that stand up for themselves get left alone. Not only that, the kid has empowered himself and generally feels a hell of a lot better about himself after taking control of the situation. Bullies don't pay attention to words as much as they pay attention to a shot to the nose- I feel nothing for them after having taken a well-deserved punch to the face.
'Complex' bullying (violent behaviour, organized groups tormenting via social media, etc.) requires adult intervention right away. This type of bullying is the type of treatment that kids simply do not have the skill set to deal with and it has led to extreme actions. At a very minimum, the victim of this type of behaviour is rendered an emotional and psychological wreck.
The schools, adults, and sometimes police need to be heavy handed when dealing with this type of bullying. These types of behaviours cannot be tolerated in the slightest.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
I don't know that legislation would do much. The fact that financial liability plays a part in this doesn't say much about basic parenting.
PS - this thread kind of reminds me of that film, My Bodyguard. Maybe a bit cheesy, but win-win.
Yeah, bullys leave there mark. And if anything, I am probably a bit to cavalier about not taking shit from anybody. But I still want to become a nicer person and promote the idea of being kind. Gorman Bechard wrote a great book about that called The Second Greatest Story Ever Told starring God's daughter and the one and only Mr. Paul Westerberg. :-)
how about defend your damn self? i think kids are told they'll get in trouble for fighting & so they don't fight back. that is a bullshit move & their parents & school teachers & principles & bus drivers should be slapped.
DEFEND YOURSELVES DO NOT BE BULLIED
teasing a bit is one thing. constant bullying in a endless array is something a lot of kids live with.
when i was in 2nd grade, a friend & i were walking home from school. i lived one block away from school. across the street from my house were kids way older than us & a lot bigger too. they were kicking around a kid we knew our age & stuff. he was on the ground as a circle of idiots booted him around a bit.
i said, "stop picking on our friend"
i then got my ass beat on by these bullies. the one that got me good took his hand & got me by the back of my head & slammed my face into his up coming knee.
the stars are out! black eye
i ran home crying
dad was mad at those kids & wanted to find their parents
mostly, mostly & again MOSTLY dad was ecstatic his oldest son now has a black eye coming in
he grabs his camera & snaps a shot - i am in tears & one of my eyes is swollen shut
a day or two later dad takes another picture - black eye & smiles
dad was the proudest father on the planet & me... i was proud
get tough or get fucked with, it is really that simple
tough also is in mind, not only body
so be smart & avoid stupid shits
when they come at you, break them in half
obviously i physically broke no one in half when i got my black eye. what i did get reached deeper than breaking someone in two. i learned something: i made my father proud, i then became proud, i learned bullies are weak & go after easy targets, i learned it only hurts a short bit, i learned to help stick up for others who can't defend themselves & i learned a lot more than this
wish i could locate those pictures
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Not only do people need to stand up for themselves- they need to stand up for others.
There is no greater feeling than coming to the aid of someone who needs help.
Long story short:
At UBC, my friends and I were having drinks. I went to get some from the bar and when I returned, my friends were shaking their heads and muttering, "Unbelievable." I asked what had happened and they told me this big oaf had thrown full beer in the face of this native woman who was dancing by herself- alone on the dance floor (it was early in the night).
Without hesitating and instinctually, I placed my beer down and stormed over to the guy's table. He was large. So were his friends. I'm not small, but I was smaller than these dudes. I cuffed the guy on the head and asked "What the fuck?"
A melee ensued. At the climax of the moment, one of the guy's friends- Muscles McGee- wrenched me out of the pack and spun me around. Gripping each other tightly, I thought "Oh shit... here we go!" and braced for what might have been the fight of my life.
He leaned in- yelling because it was so loud- and said, "What do you want?"
I said, "I want your friend to know he's an asshole."
"Did you know the woman?"
"No."
"Why then?"
"Because it's uncool, man. She didn't deserve that and your friend needs to know this. He's an asshole."
He replied, "I agree."
He then eased his grip on me and said, "Do you think you've made your point?"
I did at this point, the bar was chaotic and everyone knew what the issue was. I was also glad for the window of opportunity to save my nose and said, "I think I have."
He said, "I think you have too. Are we done?"
To which I said, "Done."
Everybody dusted themselves off and the night continued without incident.
The woman left the bar before I started shit. She had no idea someone had come to her defence. I never did it to receive pats on the back- I did it because this is how I was raised. The part of me that felt terrible for her wishes she did know so at least she didn't feel worthless leaving the bar drenched in draft beer.
I likely would have got my ass kicked that night, but if so... oh well. That type of behaviour cannot be tolerated and won't be in my presence. You have to place yourself at risk sometimes if you wish to call yourself a good human being. Its not enough to just defend yourself- you have to defend others as well.
* Before passing out on our couch late that night, my roommate drunkenly said, "That was the coolest thing I've ever seen." No individual athletic award won in the past made me feel better about myself than hearing my drunken fool roommate's praise.
enjoy your day
i have a swimming pool that needs me & i the pool
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Have a good one yourself.
I've never been in a physical fight aside from one incident in junior high.
Sometimes it's different, being a woman (although from what I've seen, HARSH! Chicks pull hair and bite and shit). No doubt I could / would defend myself if warranted, but at 5'3"-ish? Gotta choose my particular battles
All assholes should be called on their behavior. Not always feasible or realistic, but when it happens?
Big-ass smile here.
This would be groups of 7-10 people. Others would stand around and laugh. Including teachers.
They would tell me that they knew where I lived and would say they were going to burn down my house while my family slept.
I once finally had enough and went to the police to file a complaint and was asked "what did you do to deserve that" by the policeman I was talking to.
Yeah, you're right. I should have just "grown a pair" and learned to fight off a whole hoard of roving farm boys at once. I mean, Chuck Norris does it in his movies, I could have gone all ninja like, right?
Man, I was such a wuss.
(it should be noted that I'm not whining about this... I have never once backed down from a fight but the bullies are the cowards... they'd only attack in packs. And even now when I stand up to people trying to have a go at me, people get upset when Im "angry" or "over-stating my point." Take a look at the reactions in GF's kiss thread... plus I've gotten a lot of PMs from people asking me why I feel the need to post pictures of men kissing when it clearly upsets people. The answer is that I've learned in my life that backing down is not an option... it makes people think you're weak and they come back harder. But I'll tell you, it sure would have been nice if someone in authority would have stuck up for me just once in school.)
I wish there were simple, across-the-board resolutions.
As to that other thread...maybe you and GF were having a go at each other? It was ugly on both parts.
I'm not sure people were upset (clearly or not) about the photos. Me, I'm not offended or anything similar. It neither turns me on or off, but I did find the repetition a bit of overkill.
Yikes. Scary. Downright animal-like.
Your situation couldn't have been handled by yourself. Your case falls under the category of 'extreme' bullying that I tried to detail above. This needed adult intervention on the part of many adults, which never came.
Not to mention, the bully problem extends to adulthood in work places, bars, etc. It's not just a kid thing. Everyone needs to find their power yet look out and protect potential victims from asshole bullies. Like Thirty Bills's story. That is awesome.
Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don't forget to breathe, very important.
That is all.