California mayor says bullied kids need to grow a pair.

Thirty Bills Unpaid

hedonist said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

The woman left the bar before I started shit. She had no idea someone had come to her defence. I never did it to receive pats on the back- I did it because this is how I was raised. The part of me that felt terrible for her wishes she did know so at least she didn't feel worthless leaving the bar drenched in draft beer.

You're a good man, Thirty.

I've never been in a physical fight aside from one incident in junior high.

Sometimes it's different, being a woman (although from what I've seen, HARSH! Chicks pull hair and bite and shit). No doubt I could / would defend myself if warranted, but at 5'3"-ish? Gotta choose my particular battles

All assholes should be called on their behavior. Not always feasible or realistic, but when it happens?

Big-ass smile here.

You are not overstating a 'girl fight'.

Yikes. Scary. Downright animal-like.

Thirty Bills Unpaid

Prince Of Dorkness said:

When I was a teenager, I was often too scared to go to school because large groups of farm boys would follow me around, push me face-first down the stairs, push me into lockers, punch me in the face or kick me in the head with their steel-toed work boots.

This would be groups of 7-10 people. Others would stand around and laugh. Including teachers.

They would tell me that they knew where I lived and would say they were going to burn down my house while my family slept.

I once finally had enough and went to the police to file a complaint and was asked "what did you do to deserve that" by the policeman I was talking to.


Yeah, you're right. I should have just "grown a pair" and learned to fight off a whole hoard of roving farm boys at once. I mean, Chuck Norris does it in his movies, I could have gone all ninja like, right?

Man, I was such a wuss.





(it should be noted that I'm not whining about this... I have never once backed down from a fight but the bullies are the cowards... they'd only attack in packs. And even now when I stand up to people trying to have a go at me, people get upset when Im "angry" or "over-stating my point." Take a look at the reactions in GF's kiss thread... plus I've gotten a lot of PMs from people asking me why I feel the need to post pictures of men kissing when it clearly upsets people. The answer is that I've learned in my life that backing down is not an option... it makes people think you're weak and they come back harder. But I'll tell you, it sure would have been nice if someone in authority would have stuck up for me just once in school.)

An absolutely horrible story.

Your situation couldn't have been handled by yourself. Your case falls under the category of 'extreme' bullying that I tried to detail above. This needed adult intervention on the part of many adults, which never came.

backseatLover12

While I totally advocate standing up for oneself and fighting back, there's a real anger problem in this country that's not being addressed. And for a city official to address the victim and not the aggressors… well that's a problem in itself.

Not to mention, the bully problem extends to adulthood in work places, bars, etc. It's not just a kid thing. Everyone needs to find their power yet look out and protect potential victims from asshole bullies. Like Thirty Bills's story. That is awesome.

Jason P

The solution to bullying ...

Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don't forget to breathe, very important.

Prince Of Dorkness

hedonist said:

As to that other thread...maybe you and GF were having a go at each other? It was ugly on both parts.

I was posting pictures of guys kissing. That wasn't ugly at all. You are incorrect. The part where he accused me of having sex with my dog... THAT was ugly, although more desperate than anything else.

That is all.

Prince Of Dorkness

rgambs said:

I think "grow a pair" is not just about fighting back...it's also about having a tough skin. Much of the bullying is emotional ridicule and you just have to be tougher than that.. You fight back when you can, you get help when you are in real danger, but mostly you just don't let it get to you. My mother raised her kids with the philosophy of "don't let anyone make a victim of you ever." find a way to take the power, there is always a way it's just never easy.

Well, when people threaten to kill your family, not amount of "tough skin" is really going to stop that, is it?

hedonist

Prince Of Dorkness said:

hedonist said:

As to that other thread...maybe you and GF were having a go at each other? It was ugly on both parts.

I was posting pictures of guys kissing. That wasn't ugly at all. You are incorrect. The part where he accused me of having sex with my dog... THAT was ugly, although more desperate than anything else.

That is all.

What? Either you misread or disregarded - I said nothing about the photos being ugly (the part of my post that addressed that was either ignored or overlooked). Was talking about the verbal exchanges.

Prince Of Dorkness

hedonist said:

What? Either you misread or disregarded - I said nothing about the photos being ugly (the part of my post that addressed that was either ignored or overlooked). Was talking about the verbal exchanges.

If me telling Godfather that he's incapable of hurting my feelings is "ugly," I'm not the one who needs to grow a pair.

josevolution

Bullying sucks period no matter what degree it's just plain wrong i don't tolerate it at all i'll stop any kid anywhere from being a dick to another human being , yeah OP your wrong and so is this mayor .....By the way it takes more balls to stop a bully then to be one so i'd say you & Mayor need to grow a pair ....

hedonist

Prince Of Dorkness said:

hedonist said:

What? Either you misread or disregarded - I said nothing about the photos being ugly (the part of my post that addressed that was either ignored or overlooked). Was talking about the verbal exchanges.

If me telling Godfather that he's incapable of hurting my feelings is "ugly," I'm not the one who needs to grow a pair.

Never mind. The shit's out there in the other thread.

chadwick

Prince Of Dorkness said:

When I was a teenager, I was often too scared to go to school because large groups of farm boys would follow me around, push me face-first down the stairs, push me into lockers, punch me in the face or kick me in the head with their steel-toed work boots.

This would be groups of 7-10 people. Others would stand around and laugh. Including teachers.

They would tell me that they knew where I lived and would say they were going to burn down my house while my family slept.

I once finally had enough and went to the police to file a complaint and was asked "what did you do to deserve that" by the policeman I was talking to.


Yeah, you're right. I should have just "grown a pair" and learned to fight off a whole hoard of roving farm boys at once. I mean, Chuck Norris does it in his movies, I could have gone all ninja like, right?

Man, I was such a wuss.





(it should be noted that I'm not whining about this... I have never once backed down from a fight but the bullies are the cowards... they'd only attack in packs. And even now when I stand up to people trying to have a go at me, people get upset when Im "angry" or "over-stating my point." Take a look at the reactions in GF's kiss thread... plus I've gotten a lot of PMs from people asking me why I feel the need to post pictures of men kissing when it clearly upsets people. The answer is that I've learned in my life that backing down is not an option... it makes people think you're weak and they come back harder. But I'll tell you, it sure would have been nice if someone in authority would have stuck up for me just once in school.)

sad sad stuff

we could go hunt them down if you like >:)

it would have been nice if anyone helped you out. i am kinda shocked not a single person stepped up & said, "leave the kid alone"

my dad was beat up & robbed constantly as a kid. he was the kid selling ice cream & whatnot out of a ice cream chest thingy mounted on a bike. peddle, peddle, peddle, sell ice cream, get robbed, get beat up & robbed & maybe sell another cone or popcicle

his dad (grandpa to me) would tell him to never quit & break their faces & bones with a pipe.
grandpa being a WWII guy instilled some things in dad, therefore, sometimes dad would slam the heavy chest door fixed to the cooler of his ice cream bicycle on hands going for a free (to them) frozen treat & when pushed to scrappin it out, dad started swingin his metal pipe & crackin fuckers

soon bullies & thieves grew thin in numbers & vanished. dad was now respected & a bit harder

Prince Of Dorkness

For the record... I'm long over that and I think the fact that I was raised in a pressure cooker is the thing that lead me to be such a ball-breaker now. I don't know if I'd have been as successful in life if everyone was always running to my rescue.

Although maybe just a couple times to have an adult step in might have been nice.

chadwick

Prince Of Dorkness said:

For the record... I'm long over that and I think the fact that I was raised in a pressure cooker is the thing that lead me to be such a ball-breaker now. I don't know if I'd have been as successful in life if everyone was always running to my rescue.

Although maybe just a couple times to have an adult step in might have been nice.

sure you were made to be tough & smart about shit
school of hard knocks type deal
i respect that, that's my school as well

Cosmo

I think that if people taught their kids to protect the weak and not to pick on them... the problem might get solved.
Everyone seems to tell the weaker kid he needs to be more like the asshole kid. How about teaching your asshole kids to stop being assholes?

i_lov_it

Cosmo said:

I think that if people taught their kids to protect the weak and not to pick on them... the problem might get solved.
Everyone seems to tell the weaker kid he needs to be more like the asshole kid. How about teaching your asshole kids to stop being assholes?

Very Well Said Cosmo.

Thirty Bills Unpaid

Cosmo said:

I think that if people taught their kids to protect the weak and not to pick on them... the problem might get solved.
Everyone seems to tell the weaker kid he needs to be more like the asshole kid. How about teaching your asshole kids to stop being assholes?

This was an inherent part to the discussion.

The problem is the fact that there are countless useless parents that are incapable of- or indifferent to- spending time with their children and raising them correctly.

Kids that are assholes come by it honestly.

catefrances

Cosmo said:

I think that if people taught their kids to protect the weak and not to pick on them... the problem might get solved.
Everyone seems to tell the weaker kid he needs to be more like the asshole kid. How about teaching your asshole kids to stop being assholes?

much like rape cosmo.. how about we teach our boys to respect females instead of blaming the victim for wearing 'slutty' clothes or questioning her allowance of being out at all hours. the weak, the quiet, the 'different' need to be held alongside us, NOT trodden underfoot.

Cosmo

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

Cosmo said:

I think that if people taught their kids to protect the weak and not to pick on them... the problem might get solved.
Everyone seems to tell the weaker kid he needs to be more like the asshole kid. How about teaching your asshole kids to stop being assholes?

This was an inherent part to the discussion.
The problem is the fact that there are countless useless parents that are incapable of- or indifferent to- spending time with their children and raising them correctly.
Kids that are assholes come by it honestly.

...
I can't understand the adult in the equation... the one that tells kids they need to resort to violence and 'fight Back'. Why not just tell the kid to brandish a gun? I mean, no one is going to fuck with a wimpy kid with a gun, right? Weren't the Columbine kids picked on by the kids at school? Is reacting like they did part of the process of growing some balls? I mean.. at the base of is... Eric and Dylan technically... did fight back.
Who is raising these kids that think it's okay to pick on other... weaker kids?

backseatLover12

Cosmo said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

Cosmo said:

I think that if people taught their kids to protect the weak and not to pick on them... the problem might get solved.
Everyone seems to tell the weaker kid he needs to be more like the asshole kid. How about teaching your asshole kids to stop being assholes?

This was an inherent part to the discussion.
The problem is the fact that there are countless useless parents that are incapable of- or indifferent to- spending time with their children and raising them correctly.
Kids that are assholes come by it honestly.

...
I can't understand the adult in the equation... the one that tells kids they need to resort to violence and 'fight Back'. Why not just tell the kid to brandish a gun? I mean, no one is going to fuck with a wimpy kid with a gun, right? Weren't the Columbine kids picked on by the kids at school? Is reacting like they did part of the process of growing some balls? I mean.. at the base of is... Eric and Dylan technically... did fight back.
Who is raising these kids that think it's okay to pick on other... weaker kids?

Hence the anger issue in the country that's not being addressed.

Cosmo

catefrances said:

Cosmo said:

I think that if people taught their kids to protect the weak and not to pick on them... the problem might get solved.
Everyone seems to tell the weaker kid he needs to be more like the asshole kid. How about teaching your asshole kids to stop being assholes?

much like rape cosmo.. how about we teach our boys to respect females instead of blaming the victim for wearing 'slutty' clothes or questioning her allowance of being out at all hours. the weak, the quiet, the 'different' need to be held alongside us, NOT trodden underfoot.

...
I totally agree.