Diamonds are bullshit

chadwick

now wait just a cotton pickin second. 100k spent on a wedding is only for idiots, yes/no? them kinda folks should be thrown on the ground, rolled in mud, feathers & elbow macaroni. it really doesn't get much uglier than high dollar bullshit weddings

hedonist

Cliffy6745 said:

hedonist said:

PJ_Soul said:

polaris_x said:

hedonist said:

Hey, I give a full shit, not a mere half

I doubt most of us are wringing our hands over the prospect of someone else using their own money on their own choices. Me, I find it ridiculous to spend thousands of dollars on something because it's expected on either the giver's or receiver's part.

It's like weddings. You wanna blow $100K on it? Go right ahead.

I'm as entitled to shake my head at that as others are to buy the ring, throw a lavish to-do, etc.

yes ... also - it's the notion that a lot of people spend that money not really happily ... that because of some societal pressure - someone is obligated to do something he/she may not want to do ...

I'm not sure that a sense of obligation is necessarily a bad thing....

Absolutely not a bad thing! I spoke, gave, my vows to my sweetheart and my obligations to him (not even a sense of them - more like, this is hardass, we're together). No need or duty to display it to others via shiny shit.

I'll take a random hug, a kiss, a rub on my back in the middle of the night, those beautiful unexpected reachings-out that just melt me and make me fall for him yet again, over the tangible stuff any day

Why is it one or the other?

Who claimed it should be? Not sure how many different ways to say what I've already said...but I - I - think it's unnecessary.

And yeah, chadwick...I love my family...but some of their weddings? Good god. We truly would be happy with some foodbites than five damn sushi tables and hoopla.

PJ_Soul

chadwick said:

now wait just a cotton pickin second. 100k spent on a wedding is only for idiots, yes/no? them kinda folks should be thrown on the ground, rolled in mud, feathers & elbow macaroni. it really doesn't get much uglier than high dollar bullshit weddings

While I've never been to a wedding where I didn't have a blast (luckily no one has ever invited me to an alcohol-free wedding!), I'm thinking City Hall isn't the worst idea, lol. Or a JP in a park or something. However, I am very happy to be a guest at huge fancy weddings - they are fucking fun when you don't have to do anything other than bring a gift for under $100! Free food, free booze, dance the night away.... what's the problem?

jmuscatello

backseatLover12 said:

jmuscatello said:

I am liking this thread. You guys are preaching to the choir, honestly.... I am a female but am also totally repulsed by our deep need to impress with bling and by the offensive "guidelines" of 2-3 months salary for a diamond engagement ring. Honestly I hate that stuff, completely. You guys should rebel. And I'm not offended. I wear some, but they are low-key, emerald cut... not big sparkly rocks, though if that's what people like, that's fine too. I'm just saying, blame our self-aggrandizing, endlessly posturing, keep-up-with-the-jones culture, but don't blame the diamonds... they are a mineralogical feat...formed under the most narrow and incredible range of conditions. And although there are many other pretty minerals out there (love rose quartz and labradorite too BackseatLover12), diamonds are just fucking miraculous, geologically. Though I guess maybe that's not why people want them.

It must be very interesting being a geologist! I was wondering though, if it's true about diamond mining, tainted with human rights abuses? http://www.brilliantearth.com/conflict-diamond-facts/

Geology is interesting and even perspective-changing, because you get that 4th dimension of time to throw into everything. To answer your question, I suspect the diamond mining industry is tainted.. it's had that reputation for ever, but I really don't have any experience with it. I'll look at your link and hope that my enthusiasm for diamonds isn't ruined. My work has been mainly in petroleum exploration and production - talk about tainted - let's not even go there.....

chadwick

never been to a high dollar wedding. i did once drop $650 on tequila shots at my little brother's wedding. i then nearly crawled out of my buddy's car & was aiming on passing out in the sand under the bridge by vinnie's as it seemed more comfortable than the car. me in my tuxedo too, this would have been wonderful. then suddenly my buddy came out of the store w/ beer & off we went shooting for my place so i could get to bed

this was a wedding worth a few grand & ending in divorce

backseatLover12

Don't get me started on lavish weddings. But I see people getting smarter, having lower budget, no open bars, fewer guests and not relying on mommy and daddy to pick up the tab when they're full grown adults. It's nice to see for a change.

PJ_Soul

backseatLover12 said:

Don't get me started on lavish weddings. But I see people getting smarter, having lower budget, no open bars, fewer guests and not relying on mommy and daddy to pick up the tab when they're full grown adults. It's nice to see for a change.

No open bars?? I and everyone I know see the open bar as the first priority, lol. We'd go with no food, no flowers, no band or DJ, and no tables before going with no open bar, hahaha.

backseatLover12

PJ_Soul said:

backseatLover12 said:

Don't get me started on lavish weddings. But I see people getting smarter, having lower budget, no open bars, fewer guests and not relying on mommy and daddy to pick up the tab when they're full grown adults. It's nice to see for a change.

No open bars?? I and everyone I know see the open bar as the first priority, lol. We'd go with no food, no flowers, no band or DJ, and no tables before going with no open bar, hahaha.

I gather you haven't paid for a wedding with an open bar… And obviously you've never heard of a dry wedding, then.

PJ_Soul

backseatLover12 said:

PJ_Soul said:

backseatLover12 said:

Don't get me started on lavish weddings. But I see people getting smarter, having lower budget, no open bars, fewer guests and not relying on mommy and daddy to pick up the tab when they're full grown adults. It's nice to see for a change.

No open bars?? I and everyone I know see the open bar as the first priority, lol. We'd go with no food, no flowers, no band or DJ, and no tables before going with no open bar, hahaha.

I gather you haven't paid for a wedding with an open bar… And obviously you've never heard of a dry wedding, then.

Of course I've heard of them - I've had friend who had the unfortunate task of attending them - but I don't know anyone who would ever consider a dry wedding. And no, I've never been married, but my sister has been married twice, and my best friends are married, other family members are married, and I have been engaged.. I know exactly what it costs, since I'm not an idiot. My point is that IMO an open bar is the first priority at a wedding, as I actually find it painfully tacky to expect guests at a wedding to pay for anything, and everyone I happen to know agrees. I think it's better to not have other things than to make guests do that.

backseatLover12

Holy Shit. Guests pay and arm and a leg to attend a wedding, what planet are you from? From the formal attire, expensive gift, rehearsal dinner, parties, more clothing, travel etc etc. You are seriously kidding yourself that you pay for nothing. And that's really cool of you to prioritize the bar ahead of the whomever invited you to their wedding.

backseatLover12

jmuscatello said:

backseatLover12 said:

jmuscatello said:

I am liking this thread. You guys are preaching to the choir, honestly.... I am a female but am also totally repulsed by our deep need to impress with bling and by the offensive "guidelines" of 2-3 months salary for a diamond engagement ring. Honestly I hate that stuff, completely. You guys should rebel. And I'm not offended. I wear some, but they are low-key, emerald cut... not big sparkly rocks, though if that's what people like, that's fine too. I'm just saying, blame our self-aggrandizing, endlessly posturing, keep-up-with-the-jones culture, but don't blame the diamonds... they are a mineralogical feat...formed under the most narrow and incredible range of conditions. And although there are many other pretty minerals out there (love rose quartz and labradorite too BackseatLover12), diamonds are just fucking miraculous, geologically. Though I guess maybe that's not why people want them.

It must be very interesting being a geologist! I was wondering though, if it's true about diamond mining, tainted with human rights abuses? http://www.brilliantearth.com/conflict-diamond-facts/

Geology is interesting and even perspective-changing, because you get that 4th dimension of time to throw into everything. To answer your question, I suspect the diamond mining industry is tainted.. it's had that reputation for ever, but I really don't have any experience with it. I'll look at your link and hope that my enthusiasm for diamonds isn't ruined. My work has been mainly in petroleum exploration and production - talk about tainted - let's not even go there.....

I don't know much about the tainting of the diamond industry, I've just heard as hearsay about it recently.

I bet you know the dirty on the petroleum industry! Pun intended.

PJ_Soul

backseatLover12 said:

Holy Shit. Guests pay and arm and a leg to attend a wedding, what planet are you from? From the formal attire, expensive gift, rehearsal dinner, parties, more clothing, travel etc etc. You are seriously kidding yourself that you pay for nothing. And that's really cool of you to prioritize the bar ahead of the whomever invited you to their wedding.

I'm talking about having to bring cash and hand it over at the wedding obviously. That's what's tacky. Why are you being so snotty? Everything you just outlined explains exactly why it is tacky to ask guests to pay for their drinks once they're at the wedding! And only wedding party members go to rehearsal dinners, but I've also never even heard of those people having to pay for a rehearsal dinner. And of course, because you ALWAYS presume the worst of me, you've completely twisted what I'm saying. I'm not saying the number one priority for the GUESTS is an open bar. I'm saying the number one priority for the people getting married/arranging the wedding is the open bar, duh. For me and everyone I know that has gotten married, the first priority when planning the finances of a wedding is to ensure that they can provide an open bar to their guests.

rival.

moved to chicago from nyc a little over three years ago and the second i moved was when everyone back home on the east coast decided to get married. in this three year span i've had to fly home for five weddings and have spent more money on traveling, attire, gifts, transportation, hotels, etc than i care to add up in my mind because if i do it will just make me enraged. thankfully all of those weddings were an open bar because it would have been a kick in the balls to pay $6 for a choice of sam adams, heineken, bud light after dropping all of that cash just to be in attendance.

i was a banquet server throughout college on the weekends and probably worked close to 200 weddings. 98% of those were open bar and the remaining 2% were cash bar. i couldn't even begin to tell you how miserable all of the guests were because they had to shell out cash for a drink.

tacky. do not go this route. ever.

unsung

Whenever the day arrives I've been promised a few things...

1. No chicken dance or YMCA or train.
2. I get to pick the entrance song.
3. The beer will be all craft, no crap like miller or bud.

That's enough for me to be happy.

hedonist

I typically decline wedding invites but when I don't... [-O< for the open bar.

Honestly, these destination shindigs or over-the-top deals? Nuh uh, no way.

Same goes for engagement parties...bridal showers (since when is more than one held?), baby showers, "gender-reveal" parties...not to mention housewarming, bris/baptism.

Gah! I feel like Costanza.

"It never ends, this present stuff! Engagement present! Then they get married, you gonna have to get them something for that! Then the baby, there's another present. Then the baby starts getting their presents. I don't even like Drake."

Yeah...I like the low-key route.

And fuck Drake!

jmuscatello

unsung said:

Whenever the day arrives I've been promised a few things...

1. No chicken dance or YMCA or train.
2. I get to pick the entrance song.
3. The beer will be all craft, no crap like miller or bud.

That's enough for me to be happy.

craft beer very important, well done

polaris_x

unsung said:

Whenever the day arrives I've been promised a few things...

1. No chicken dance or YMCA or train.
2. I get to pick the entrance song.
3. The beer will be all craft, no crap like miller or bud.

That's enough for me to be happy.

get it in writing ... haha

polaris_x

PJ_Soul said:

backseatLover12 said:

Holy Shit. Guests pay and arm and a leg to attend a wedding, what planet are you from? From the formal attire, expensive gift, rehearsal dinner, parties, more clothing, travel etc etc. You are seriously kidding yourself that you pay for nothing. And that's really cool of you to prioritize the bar ahead of the whomever invited you to their wedding.

I'm talking about having to bring cash and hand it over at the wedding obviously. That's what's tacky. Why are you being so snotty? Everything you just outlined explains exactly why it is tacky to ask guests to pay for their drinks once they're at the wedding! And only wedding party members go to rehearsal dinners, but I've also never even heard of those people having to pay for a rehearsal dinner. And of course, because you ALWAYS presume the worst of me, you've completely twisted what I'm saying. I'm not saying the number one priority for the GUESTS is an open bar. I'm saying the number one priority for the people getting married/arranging the wedding is the open bar, duh. For me and everyone I know that has gotten married, the first priority when planning the finances of a wedding is to ensure that they can provide an open bar to their guests.

hahaha ... i'm not quite sure why i find this conversation so funny ... haha

PJ_Soul

polaris_x said:

PJ_Soul said:

backseatLover12 said:

Holy Shit. Guests pay and arm and a leg to attend a wedding, what planet are you from? From the formal attire, expensive gift, rehearsal dinner, parties, more clothing, travel etc etc. You are seriously kidding yourself that you pay for nothing. And that's really cool of you to prioritize the bar ahead of the whomever invited you to their wedding.

I'm talking about having to bring cash and hand it over at the wedding obviously. That's what's tacky. Why are you being so snotty? Everything you just outlined explains exactly why it is tacky to ask guests to pay for their drinks once they're at the wedding! And only wedding party members go to rehearsal dinners, but I've also never even heard of those people having to pay for a rehearsal dinner. And of course, because you ALWAYS presume the worst of me, you've completely twisted what I'm saying. I'm not saying the number one priority for the GUESTS is an open bar. I'm saying the number one priority for the people getting married/arranging the wedding is the open bar, duh. For me and everyone I know that has gotten married, the first priority when planning the finances of a wedding is to ensure that they can provide an open bar to their guests.

hahaha ... i'm not quite sure why i find this conversation so funny ... haha

Lol. Maybe because in the end, open bar or not, it just means everyone's drunk at a wedding and someone inevitably ends up doing some crazy fucking shoeless dance on the dance floor where everyone stands back and starts filming. )

rgambs

chadwick said:

now wait just a cotton pickin second. 100k spent on a wedding is only for idiots, yes/no? them kinda folks should be thrown on the ground, rolled in mud, feathers & elbow macaroni. it really doesn't get much uglier than high dollar bullshit weddings

elbow macaroni????? that's fucking hilarious!

went to a 100 thousand dollar wedding. it was at a casino. terrible idea for the hosts, great time for the wedding party and guests!! casino i said? for real? oh yeah, good times. not enough Pearl Jam though....