Diamonds are bullshit

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  • unsung
    unsung I stopped by on March 7 2024. First time in many years, had to update payment info. Hope all is well. Politicians suck. Bye. Posts: 9,487
    So send an otherwise perfect girl packing because she wants a ring?

    Makes perfect sense.
  • polaris_x
    polaris_x Posts: 13,559
    unsung said:

    So send an otherwise perfect girl packing because she wants a ring?

    Makes perfect sense.

    if she measures your love for her by the size of the diamond you put on the ring ... good luck with that long term ...
  • cp3iverson
    cp3iverson Posts: 8,702
    edited February 2014
    Buy the ring and enjoy your life together. Im rebellious against some parts of society but I dont tend to focus on harmless symbols of love. Buy what you can afford and buy it with a big grin on your face.

    Now if your girl is demanding a certain karat or certain price level thats a whole 'nother issue. But why deny a great person some joy and a cool thing to own and pass down by trying to make a stand? News flash. You can protest against most material things in life but theres so many better things to stand up to.
    Post edited by cp3iverson on
  • backseatLover12
    backseatLover12 Posts: 2,312
    hedonist said:

    Sorta like this, but a bit more blue/green in the mix.
    image
    bootlegger, I've heard of some cockamamie standard where a fella is expected to spend several months on a ring.

    That's an emergency fund!

    Very nice!

    Several months to spend on a ring… ridiculousness!
  • polaris_x
    polaris_x Posts: 13,559
    ya ... the goal here isn't to disrupt relationships ... it's just about pointing out some social constructs that serve no purpose to some of us ... that's all ...
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    buck502000 said:

    My wife and I got engaged when we were young - 22. I spent all the money I had $400 bucks. My wife loves that ring more than anything. It's a good story to tell, Sears had a special that day.

    This is sweet. And I think there's a huge difference between the value placed on a 400-buck (or no-buck) ring vs one with size and expense prerequisites.
    unsung said:

    So send an otherwise perfect girl packing because she wants a ring?

    Makes perfect sense.

    But you don't seem to be comfortable with it - with the notion of it.

    In the end, it's between you two - it's between any couple. Cost, carats, show-off-ability shouldn't be part of it...aren't part of it, for me.

  • backseatLover12
    backseatLover12 Posts: 2,312
    jmuscatello said:

    I am liking this thread. You guys are preaching to the choir, honestly.... I am a female but am also totally repulsed by our deep need to impress with bling and by the offensive "guidelines" of 2-3 months salary for a diamond engagement ring. Honestly I hate that stuff, completely. You guys should rebel. And I'm not offended. I wear some, but they are low-key, emerald cut... not big sparkly rocks, though if that's what people like, that's fine too. I'm just saying, blame our self-aggrandizing, endlessly posturing, keep-up-with-the-jones culture, but don't blame the diamonds... they are a mineralogical feat...formed under the most narrow and incredible range of conditions. And although there are many other pretty minerals out there (love rose quartz and labradorite too BackseatLover12), diamonds are just fucking miraculous, geologically. Though I guess maybe that's not why people want them.

    It must be very interesting being a geologist! I was wondering though, if it's true about diamond mining, tainted with human rights abuses? http://www.brilliantearth.com/conflict-diamond-facts/
  • backseatLover12
    backseatLover12 Posts: 2,312
    unsung said:

    So send an otherwise perfect girl packing because she wants a ring?

    Makes perfect sense.

    Something I get from your character is that many things are an "all or none" issue with you. The sooner you realize that everything is a grey issue, the sooner you won't be so quick on the defense all the time. Good communication in a relationship and the costs of a ring and how much you're willing to spend on one and what exactly the ring means to both of you is a good start at open communication going into marriage….
  • callen
    callen Posts: 6,388
    Ah the wonderful world of marketing and its success in tying a man’s commitment to a woman in direct proportions to the amount of money he spent for a totally impractical trinket. Let’s not just hate on diamonds but also birthday presents (don’t bring home a vacuum cleaner) and valentine’s day ( buy Roses not potted plant from Lowe’s for $1.99). I used to have issues with this..but now have come to the other side and relish the positive vibes and lovin that accompany non practical gifts.

    Just the way it goes..humans crave validation and commitment, men and women alike.

    You can fight it or communicate estimated annual income with your love interest and sure you’ll be okay.

    Just be a gentleman and open her car door, pull out her chair at restaurant and she’ll likely not care if it’s a full ½ carrot or its color is “champagne” , the new trend in diamonds. ( Beautiful Girls).
    :D
    10-18-2000 Houston, 04-06-2003 Houston, 6-25-2003 Toronto, 10-8-2004 Kissimmee, 9-4-2005 Calgary, 12-3-05 Sao Paulo, 7-2-2006 Denver, 7-22-06 Gorge, 7-23-2006 Gorge, 9-13-2006 Bern, 6-22-2008 DC, 6-24-2008 MSG, 6-25-2008 MSG
  • cp3iverson
    cp3iverson Posts: 8,702
    Paul how much did u pay for this brown rock?? You bought a brown ring for a girl youre not even seeing!

    Great film
  • Cliffy6745
    Cliffy6745 Posts: 34,036
    I don't get why people give half a shit what people spend their money on.

    If you don't like diamonds, fine. Don't buy them, but it doesn't make anyone better or worse for expressing how the feel about someone through something tangible.
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,760
    As long as the diamonds come from a place where human rights aren't violated to get them, I don't give a shit who spends their money on them. Diamond engagement rings are a tradition now, not just because they're diamonds, but because the fact that the man spent a lot of money on a symbol of his commitment to a woman has meaning for the couple. That says something a bit disturbing about how people feel about commitment. But it has no effect on how I feel about bloodless diamonds. And human being are actually hardwired to be attracted to shiny things (it's evolutionary hold out related to water-seeking, FYI).
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    Hey, I give a full shit, not a mere half ;)

    I doubt most of us are wringing our hands over the prospect of someone else using their own money on their own choices. Me, I find it ridiculous to spend thousands of dollars on something because it's expected on either the giver's or receiver's part.

    It's like weddings. You wanna blow $100K on it? Go right ahead.

    I'm as entitled to shake my head at that as others are to buy the ring, throw a lavish to-do, etc.
  • polaris_x
    polaris_x Posts: 13,559
    hedonist said:

    Hey, I give a full shit, not a mere half ;)

    I doubt most of us are wringing our hands over the prospect of someone else using their own money on their own choices. Me, I find it ridiculous to spend thousands of dollars on something because it's expected on either the giver's or receiver's part.

    It's like weddings. You wanna blow $100K on it? Go right ahead.

    I'm as entitled to shake my head at that as others are to buy the ring, throw a lavish to-do, etc.

    yes ... also - it's the notion that a lot of people spend that money not really happily ... that because of some societal pressure - someone is obligated to do something he/she may not want to do ...
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,760
    polaris_x said:

    hedonist said:

    Hey, I give a full shit, not a mere half ;)

    I doubt most of us are wringing our hands over the prospect of someone else using their own money on their own choices. Me, I find it ridiculous to spend thousands of dollars on something because it's expected on either the giver's or receiver's part.

    It's like weddings. You wanna blow $100K on it? Go right ahead.

    I'm as entitled to shake my head at that as others are to buy the ring, throw a lavish to-do, etc.

    yes ... also - it's the notion that a lot of people spend that money not really happily ... that because of some societal pressure - someone is obligated to do something he/she may not want to do ...
    I'm not sure that a sense of obligation is necessarily a bad thing....
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • polaris_x
    polaris_x Posts: 13,559
    PJ_Soul said:

    polaris_x said:

    hedonist said:

    Hey, I give a full shit, not a mere half ;)

    I doubt most of us are wringing our hands over the prospect of someone else using their own money on their own choices. Me, I find it ridiculous to spend thousands of dollars on something because it's expected on either the giver's or receiver's part.

    It's like weddings. You wanna blow $100K on it? Go right ahead.

    I'm as entitled to shake my head at that as others are to buy the ring, throw a lavish to-do, etc.

    yes ... also - it's the notion that a lot of people spend that money not really happily ... that because of some societal pressure - someone is obligated to do something he/she may not want to do ...
    I'm not sure that a sense of obligation is necessarily a bad thing....
    i'm as anti-social constructs as it gets ... it probably explains why i'm single now ... :P
  • Cliffy6745
    Cliffy6745 Posts: 34,036
    PJ_Soul said:

    As long as the diamonds come from a place where human rights aren't violated to get them, I don't give a shit who spends their money on them. Diamond engagement rings are a tradition now, not just because they're diamonds, but because the fact that the man spent a lot of money on a symbol of his commitment to a woman has meaning for the couple. That says something a bit disturbing about how people feel about commitment. But it has no effect on how I feel about bloodless diamonds. And human being are actually hardwired to be attracted to shiny things (it's evolutionary hold out related to water-seeking, FYI).

    Word. I agree with all of this.
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    PJ_Soul said:

    polaris_x said:

    hedonist said:

    Hey, I give a full shit, not a mere half ;)

    I doubt most of us are wringing our hands over the prospect of someone else using their own money on their own choices. Me, I find it ridiculous to spend thousands of dollars on something because it's expected on either the giver's or receiver's part.

    It's like weddings. You wanna blow $100K on it? Go right ahead.

    I'm as entitled to shake my head at that as others are to buy the ring, throw a lavish to-do, etc.

    yes ... also - it's the notion that a lot of people spend that money not really happily ... that because of some societal pressure - someone is obligated to do something he/she may not want to do ...
    I'm not sure that a sense of obligation is necessarily a bad thing....
    Absolutely not a bad thing! I spoke, gave, my vows to my sweetheart and my obligations to him (not even a sense of them - more like, this is hardass, we're together). No need or duty to display it to others via shiny shit.

    I'll take a random hug, a kiss, a rub on my back in the middle of the night, those beautiful unexpected reachings-out that just melt me and make me fall for him yet again, over the tangible stuff any day :)

  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,760
    edited February 2014
    polaris_x said:

    PJ_Soul said:

    polaris_x said:

    hedonist said:

    Hey, I give a full shit, not a mere half ;)

    I doubt most of us are wringing our hands over the prospect of someone else using their own money on their own choices. Me, I find it ridiculous to spend thousands of dollars on something because it's expected on either the giver's or receiver's part.

    It's like weddings. You wanna blow $100K on it? Go right ahead.

    I'm as entitled to shake my head at that as others are to buy the ring, throw a lavish to-do, etc.

    yes ... also - it's the notion that a lot of people spend that money not really happily ... that because of some societal pressure - someone is obligated to do something he/she may not want to do ...
    I'm not sure that a sense of obligation is necessarily a bad thing....
    i'm as anti-social constructs as it gets ... it probably explains why i'm single now ... :P
    Not really. I'm single too. image
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • Cliffy6745
    Cliffy6745 Posts: 34,036
    hedonist said:

    PJ_Soul said:

    polaris_x said:

    hedonist said:

    Hey, I give a full shit, not a mere half ;)

    I doubt most of us are wringing our hands over the prospect of someone else using their own money on their own choices. Me, I find it ridiculous to spend thousands of dollars on something because it's expected on either the giver's or receiver's part.

    It's like weddings. You wanna blow $100K on it? Go right ahead.

    I'm as entitled to shake my head at that as others are to buy the ring, throw a lavish to-do, etc.

    yes ... also - it's the notion that a lot of people spend that money not really happily ... that because of some societal pressure - someone is obligated to do something he/she may not want to do ...
    I'm not sure that a sense of obligation is necessarily a bad thing....
    Absolutely not a bad thing! I spoke, gave, my vows to my sweetheart and my obligations to him (not even a sense of them - more like, this is hardass, we're together). No need or duty to display it to others via shiny shit.

    I'll take a random hug, a kiss, a rub on my back in the middle of the night, those beautiful unexpected reachings-out that just melt me and make me fall for him yet again, over the tangible stuff any day :)

    Why is it one or the other?

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