You think you're friends..

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Comments

  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,900
    edited February 2014
    gimmesometruth27 said:

    i think we all have our own perceptions of what normal is, and any deviation is considered "weird". i don't mind weird people. they make things interesting.

    I personally don't know a single normal person. Everyone is weird and getting weirder by the day!
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    Well I'm the weirdest mofo you'll ever meet. And I'll admit it. I'm not like anyone else you'll ever meet. And I tend to freak people out at first.. But those that stick around, and get to know me for real.. Have never regretted it. And I think we're freak magnets to some degree, ya know?
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    backseatLover12 said:

    There is nothing as eye-opening to figuring out who your real friends are than being sick in the hospital for a few months. The ones that show, and I mean show up more than once, call, support you at your worst, they are the only true friends we have.

    This is the song I sing when I think of the friends that did nothing but take, take, take.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FgQzgUfr_c

    what do we do when this exact fact you speak of are our own family members?
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • northerndragon
    northerndragon Posts: 9,851
    chadwick said:

    backseatLover12 said:

    There is nothing as eye-opening to figuring out who your real friends are than being sick in the hospital for a few months. The ones that show, and I mean show up more than once, call, support you at your worst, they are the only true friends we have.

    This is the song I sing when I think of the friends that did nothing but take, take, take.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FgQzgUfr_c

    what do we do when this exact fact you speak of are our own family members?
    You take a good hard look at whether your life is:
    A) not affected by them other than the disappointment
    B)positively affected despite their douchiness in regards to a particular event
    C)negatively affected not matter the type of contact you have with them
    If the answers are A or B then you should work on the relationship but letting them know how their actions affected you or come to a place where you only expect so much from them as to not be further disappointed. If the answer was C then family or not sometimes you have to let a person go because it will make you a worse person for trying to hold on. It leads to resentment, anger, bitterness etc., which will invariably spill over into your day to day life.
    I've had to do it and at first you feel guilt but then as you start to observe things from an outside perspective you find a peace with your decision. Also as I watch others in my family interact with that person and the negativity it brings to their lives I am good with my decision. I do my best to support the family members that are negatively affected but from a distance and never when it involves direct contact with that person.
    It doesn't make you a bad person unless your version of stepping away involves somehow attacking that person because then you have not truly stepped away. Remember if you would not choose to have someone in your life like that why would you suffer that kind of person simply because they are 'family'.
    Anything you lose from being honest
    You never really had to begin with.


    Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.
  • backseatLover12
    backseatLover12 Posts: 2,312
    edited February 2014
    chadwick said:

    backseatLover12 said:

    There is nothing as eye-opening to figuring out who your real friends are than being sick in the hospital for a few months. The ones that show, and I mean show up more than once, call, support you at your worst, they are the only true friends we have.

    This is the song I sing when I think of the friends that did nothing but take, take, take.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FgQzgUfr_c

    what do we do when this exact fact you speak of are our own family members?
    I'm from a family of 7. Only 1 sister and my 1 brother came to see me within the first week. My parents didn't. Imagine how I feel about that! Oh, and I come from a rather healthy family, where no one has been that hurt, (near fatal) anywhere nearly to that extent ever. In fact, my parents (and a few others) later told me that they wanted me to understand that they had difficulty accepting and dealing with the severity of the situation. Un fucking believable.
    Post edited by backseatLover12 on
  • backseatLover12
    backseatLover12 Posts: 2,312
    northerndragon said:

    chadwick said:

    backseatLover12 said:

    There is nothing as eye-opening to figuring out who your real friends are than being sick in the hospital for a few months. The ones that show, and I mean show up more than once, call, support you at your worst, they are the only true friends we have.

    This is the song I sing when I think of the friends that did nothing but take, take, take.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FgQzgUfr_c

    what do we do when this exact fact you speak of are our own family members?
    You take a good hard look at whether your life is:
    A) not affected by them other than the disappointment
    B)positively affected despite their douchiness in regards to a particular event
    C)negatively affected not matter the type of contact you have with them
    If the answers are A or B then you should work on the relationship but letting them know how their actions affected you or come to a place where you only expect so much from them as to not be further disappointed. If the answer was C then family or not sometimes you have to let a person go because it will make you a worse person for trying to hold on. It leads to resentment, anger, bitterness etc., which will invariably spill over into your day to day life.
    I've had to do it and at first you feel guilt but then as you start to observe things from an outside perspective you find a peace with your decision. Also as I watch others in my family interact with that person and the negativity it brings to their lives I am good with my decision. I do my best to support the family members that are negatively affected but from a distance and never when it involves direct contact with that person.
    It doesn't make you a bad person unless your version of stepping away involves somehow attacking that person because then you have not truly stepped away. Remember if you would not choose to have someone in your life like that why would you suffer that kind of person simply because they are 'family'.
    4 years later, and I know now how good this advice is. I struggled for a long time with how to forgive them, when someone told me that I didn't have to. I could write a book about this but won't here. Thanks for writing this though, northern dragon.

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