No sneezing or farting at shows please

24

Comments

  • coco butter
    coco butter Posts: 1,504
    evenflow82 wrote:
    A concert is the best place to fart.

    1. No one can hear you fart because of the music.
    2. There are many people around you so no one knows who dropped ass.

    I have to disagree with you on this one. I would say second hand stores such as Goodwill or Savers are the best places to fart. No matter if you farted or not at these places they always smells the same. Tell me I'm wrong.
    Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that's a dumb question... skip that.
  • coco butter
    coco butter Posts: 1,504
    coco butter wrote:
    evenflow82 wrote:
    A concert is the best place to fart.

    1. No one can hear you fart because of the music.
    2. There are many people around you so no one knows who dropped ass.

    I have to disagree with you on this one. I would say second hand stores such as Goodwill or Savers are the best places to fart. No matter if you farted or not at these places they always smell the same. Tell me I'm wrong.
    Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that's a dumb question... skip that.
  • evenflow82
    evenflow82 Posts: 3,892
    coco butter wrote:
    evenflow82 wrote:
    A concert is the best place to fart.

    1. No one can hear you fart because of the music.
    2. There are many people around you so no one knows who dropped ass.

    I have to disagree with you on this one. I would say second hand stores such as Goodwill or Savers are the best places to fart. No matter if you farted or not at these places they always smells the same. Tell me I'm wrong.

    Good point. You can still hear a fart though; at concerts this isn't a problem.
    I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell.
    -Christopher Walken

    you're=you are
    your=showing ownership

    The truth has a well known liberal bias.
    -Stephen Colbert
  • coco butter
    coco butter Posts: 1,504
    evenflow82 wrote:
    coco butter wrote:
    evenflow82 wrote:
    A concert is the best place to fart.

    1. No one can hear you fart because of the music.
    2. There are many people around you so no one knows who dropped ass.

    I have to disagree with you on this one. I would say second hand stores such as Goodwill or Savers are the best places to fart. No matter if you farted or not at these places they always smells the same. Tell me I'm wrong.

    Good point. You can still hear a fart though; at concerts this isn't a problem.

    True. But farting at Goodwill or Savers I think is expected.
    Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that's a dumb question... skip that.
  • fox_mulderX
    fox_mulderX Posts: 1,134
    Anyone ever fart while masturbating? It relaxes me but I also feel guilty. I don't know why.
  • weenie
    weenie Posts: 1,623
    I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts and I'm crying. Thanks for cheering up my workday guys. :lol:
    ~I want to realize brotherhood or identity not merely with the beings called human, but I want to realize identity with all life, even with such things as crawl upon earth.~
    Mohandas K. Gandhi

    ~I once had a sparrow alight upon my shoulder for a moment, while I was hoeing in a village garden, and I felt that I was more distinguished by that circumstance than I should have been by any epaulette I could have worn.~
    Henry David Thoreau
  • Nami
    Nami Newfoundland Posts: 5,998
    DeLukin wrote:
    Since there are so many smokers at shows we can assume there will be lots of open flames. Thus, farting CAN actually be hazardous to the health of you and anyone in your blast radius. In addition to poster tubes at the merch tables, they should also sell corks. You can't be too careful in situations like this...

    :lol:
    Hamilton 9-13-05; Toronto 5-9-06, Toronto 8-21-09, Toronto 9-12-11, Hamilton 9-15-11....
  • teskeinc
    teskeinc Posts: 1,784
    DeLukin wrote:
    Since there are so many smokers at shows we can assume there will be lots of open flames. Thus, farting CAN actually be hazardous to the health of you and anyone in your blast radius. In addition to poster tubes at the merch tables, they should also sell corks. You can't be too careful in situations like this...
    I usually fart in my poster tube and save it if someone lights up a cig next to me.
  • evenflow82
    evenflow82 Posts: 3,892
    What do you call a fart at a pearl jam concert?













































    Fatal.
    I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell.
    -Christopher Walken

    you're=you are
    your=showing ownership

    The truth has a well known liberal bias.
    -Stephen Colbert
  • Thirty Bills Unpaid
    Thirty Bills Unpaid Posts: 16,881
    Nami wrote:
    DeLukin wrote:
    Since there are so many smokers at shows we can assume there will be lots of open flames. Thus, farting CAN actually be hazardous to the health of you and anyone in your blast radius. In addition to poster tubes at the merch tables, they should also sell corks. You can't be too careful in situations like this...

    :lol:

    You find this funny?

    This woman would beg to differ:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhaYvI1yrUM
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • Nami
    Nami Newfoundland Posts: 5,998
    Thirty Bills Unpaid wrote:
    Nami wrote:
    DeLukin wrote:
    Since there are so many smokers at shows we can assume there will be lots of open flames. Thus, farting CAN actually be hazardous to the health of you and anyone in your blast radius. In addition to poster tubes at the merch tables, they should also sell corks. You can't be too careful in situations like this...

    :lol:

    You find this funny?

    This woman would beg to differ:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhaYvI1yrUM

    :lol:
    Hamilton 9-13-05; Toronto 5-9-06, Toronto 8-21-09, Toronto 9-12-11, Hamilton 9-15-11....
  • Thirty Bills Unpaid
    Thirty Bills Unpaid Posts: 16,881
    :lol:
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • JonnyPistachio
    JonnyPistachio Florida Posts: 10,218
    Yeah, farting really should be banned. If there are 20,000 people at a show and each person farts once, thats a lot of farts. Then if you add booze and drugs into the mix, the likelihood of a SHART increases tenfold. :corn:
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
  • Thirty Bills Unpaid
    Thirty Bills Unpaid Posts: 16,881
    JonnyPistachio wrote:
    Yeah, farting really should be banned. If there are 20,000 people at a show and each person farts once, thats a lot of farts. Then if you add booze and drugs into the mix, the likelihood of a SHART increases tenfold. :corn:

    But the thing is... a shart is, for the most part, personal. Unless one is compressed against the backside of someone who has sharted- either in the pit or in the merch lines- they are relatively safe from the general offensiveness and unpleasantness.

    Obviously, extreme sharts characterized by heavier volumes, leave lingering effects that can be smelled by many in proximity; but these 'extreme' cases are rare and generally, people do not partake in pre-concert activities that might promote such an event (ie. no Thai food).
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • Lukinz
    Lukinz Posts: 386
    What if I'm in the GA line? Can I use the List to walk away and fart and then come back?
    2003: Madison Square Garden 1
    2006: East Rutherford 1, East Rutherford 2
    2008: Madison Square Garden 2
    2010: Newark
    2013: Brooklyn 2 GA
  • Leezestarr313
    Leezestarr313 Temple of the cat Posts: 14,457
    Somebody around us at the Pitts show farted the whole time. It wasn't pleasant. I accused my husband, but he swears it wasn't him. I didn't have anything to counter strike :|
    Please, Pearl Jam, consider a Benaroya Hall vinyl reissue! http://community.pearljam.com/discussion/148993/please-pearl-jam-consider-a-vinyl-benaroya-hall-re-issue


  • Nami
    Nami Newfoundland Posts: 5,998
    Thirty Bills Unpaid wrote:
    JonnyPistachio wrote:
    Yeah, farting really should be banned. If there are 20,000 people at a show and each person farts once, thats a lot of farts. Then if you add booze and drugs into the mix, the likelihood of a SHART increases tenfold. :corn:

    But the thing is... a shart is, for the most part, personal. Unless one is compressed against the backside of someone who has sharted- either in the pit or in the merch lines- they are relatively safe from the general offensiveness and unpleasantness.

    Obviously, extreme sharts characterized by heavier volumes, leave lingering effects that can be smelled by many in proximity; but these 'extreme' cases are rare and generally, people do not partake in pre-concert activities that might promote such an event (ie. no Thai food).

    lol got a picture of you smoking a pipe, sitting in a fancy chair, robe and slippers, all serious and shit typing this... :lol:

    id say sir... grey poopon anyone?
    Hamilton 9-13-05; Toronto 5-9-06, Toronto 8-21-09, Toronto 9-12-11, Hamilton 9-15-11....
  • Thirty Bills Unpaid
    Thirty Bills Unpaid Posts: 16,881
    My buddy was farting his ass off at the RHCP. It was a little irritating. I can handle a fart or two... but bombarded by them in routine fashion (every 3 minutes) was ridiculous.

    I never smelled them before I knew they were coming. I could see the people in front of him grimace and recoil... then the waft hit me. It was a bit of a drag.

    We laugh about it now. I swear the guy in front of him was as close as someone could get to punching someone without actually punchiong someone.
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • EarlWelsh
    EarlWelsh Buffalo, NY Posts: 1,127
    Leezestarr313 wrote:
    Somebody around us at the Pitts show farted the whole time. It wasn't pleasant. I accused my husband, but he swears it wasn't him. I didn't have anything to counter strike :|

    It's best not to resort to a counter-strike, anyway. Unfortunately the best course of action is to allow the perp to go about his business and hope he quickly finds relief.
  • Thirty Bills Unpaid
    Thirty Bills Unpaid Posts: 16,881
    Nami wrote:
    Thirty Bills Unpaid wrote:
    JonnyPistachio wrote:
    Yeah, farting really should be banned. If there are 20,000 people at a show and each person farts once, thats a lot of farts. Then if you add booze and drugs into the mix, the likelihood of a SHART increases tenfold. :corn:

    But the thing is... a shart is, for the most part, personal. Unless one is compressed against the backside of someone who has sharted- either in the pit or in the merch lines- they are relatively safe from the general offensiveness and unpleasantness.

    Obviously, extreme sharts characterized by heavier volumes, leave lingering effects that can be smelled by many in proximity; but these 'extreme' cases are rare and generally, people do not partake in pre-concert activities that might promote such an event (ie. no Thai food).

    lol got a picture of you smoking a pipe, sitting in a fancy chair, robe and slippers, all serious and shit typing this... :lol:

    id say sir... grey poopon anyone?

    :lol:

    This is a great topic.
    "My brain's a good brain!"

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