can you feel it

TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
November 23, 2013. 13:00 est.

An ode to PJ.

Realize in your instrument binaural brilliant light.
spell-bound strings, lyrical seer in sight.
Beat deep skin too the captive melodious heart.
Waves of clay dance and sing; denizens in joyous part.

Broken bone...t...casted in doubt.
Jeff and Stone reanimated, rhythmic dual.
Dropping lively tabs, that embark the infinite start.

Out of a metallic shadow stomps McCready.
Tauten five nine, flesh amplifying twine.
Fresco fingers conjuring electric art.

Tendrils growing fresh of a harvested garden.
Matt finales a quavered measure.
Standard bearer drumming treasure.

Leap for fait, Eddie!.....
Surfs among restless Sea Atolls.
A vast heroic wave, cradles the explicit solstice soul.

Tropical shores twittering Boom! Terra incognita to layer.
Una lacrima cadde nel Cornicione.
Angelic keys ripple with stoic prayer.

Follow enlightened faithful.
Witness eternal echoes of Homers portentous band.
For lachrymose gaze the gods.
A procession of ages shall pass, none rival Pearl Jam!






The preceding ode was revised and born from all that you may read below (careful, it can get hairy). After watching the band interviews with Judd and friends and being blown away (yet again) at a show during the first leg of the 2013 tour; My desire and inspiration to express my adoration for the band was unstoppable. I want to thank PJ and the Ten club for the inspiration and opportunity.

I have a request for all the faithful. I don't think it would be any kind of a stretch, if I were to say that PJ's music means an awful lot to most of us. If you found an inspiration while reading my poem and have an idea to create one of your own about the band, what the music has meant to you, etc, please do. I have searched for something similar and haven't found anything yet. I wonder what the people would write. The themes and directions it would all go. Maybe someone that has been there from the beginning will do one. So, here is my humble request. Please title your post " can you feel it _______. (Mom, Dad, slither, wither, again) whatever, and of course on page one of your post give your ode/poem it's proper title. You are welcome to write it here if you wish. I think it would be a great way to make connections with people(fan to fan and fan to band). I think it would be something very special. thanks, TT.



An ode to PJ

grasp those instruments oh so tight
fret the chords of musical delight
beat the skins to my pounding heart
I dance and sing, a fans joyous part

Jeff and Stone, the duo at the start
Then Mike stepped in, his fingers painting art
Matt is the cat with drum snares for paws
Eddie gives of himself, a soul with a higher cause

Then came the Boom, a new sound to layer
Saw his tear in Cornice, now I know why he's a player
When these dudes take the stage, the sun or moon shinning bright
The Gods pay attention, for they sum up to musical might
I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
Post edited by TalonTedd on
«1

Comments

  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    Well, some time has past since I penned this ode. It has been a long time since I've done a thing like this. I kind of like it. But I think it could use some changes. So, I'm going to toy with it a bit. I welcome any ideas or criticisms.
    Ode, noun; Lyric poem of exalted style and tone.

    grasp those instruments oh so tight: Realize;;Master;; in your instrument;; oh so tight;; a shinning, flash of light;;

    fret the chords of musical delight: spellbound strings;;melodious lyrical delight, seer of sight

    beat the skins to my pounding heart
    I dance and sing, a fans joyous part

    REALIZE IN YOUR INSTRUMENTS A FLASH OF LIGHT
    SPELLBOUND STRINGS LYRICAL SEER OS SIGHT

    TIME FOR BED.
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    realize in your instrument a flash of light
    spellbound strings lyrical seer of sight
    beat deep skin of the captive melodious heart
    clay dances and sings, denizens in joyous part.
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    TalonTedd wrote:
    realize in your instrument a flash of light
    spellbound strings lyrical seer of sight
    beat deep skin of the captive melodious heart
    clay dances and sings, denizens in joyous part.

    I like where this is going. Think ill change flash of light to " a shinning light"

    Wikipedia said that an ode was meant for the gods or about the gods. I like clay for the fans because we are but mere mortals beside our band so revered. I think the first part is pretty much complete. I have some ideas for the second part but I'm having a tough time with Matt and Eddie. I want to change the whole cat thing to a garden of sound thing, sort of like mikes part. for ed I want to keep the same theme just re-written. here is what I have for Jeff stone and mike

    Jeff and Stone a rhythmic duo, dynamism for a start
    Out of a shadow stomped Mike, fresco fingers painting art

    I have something good brewing for boom

    From tropical shores twittered a Boom. Terra incognita to explore and layer
    Una lacrima cadde nel Cornice. Angelic keys played with prayer.

    The Italian part means" A tear fell in cornice". I like the Italian with respect to Eddies speaking native tongue when travelling in distant lands.
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    TalonTedd wrote:
    realize in your instrument a flash of light
    spellbound strings lyrical seer of sight
    beat deep skin of the captive melodious heart
    clay dances and sings, denizens in joyous part.

    Just had an idea

    Realize in your instrument a shinning light
    spellbound strings lyrical seer insight
    beat deep skin of the captive melodious heart
    clay dances and sings, denizens in joyous part

    Stone and Jeff, a rhythmic duo dynamism to start
    Out of a shadow stomped Mike, fresco fingers painting art
    Matt finales (shores, steadies,settles) a quavered measure, standard bearer drumming treasure
    Eddie surfed to a sea atoll, heroic wave solstice soul

    Tropical shores twittering Boom, terra incognita to explore and layer
    Una lacrima cadde nel Cornice. Angelic keys played with prayer;;or;;A tear fell in Cornice. Angelic keys, stoic prayer.
    Follow the enlightened faithful, witness the eternal echoes of this Homeric band

    Lachrymose gaze the Gods. A procession of ages will pass until another Pearl Jam.

    WOW F'N YEAH. I'M GETTING ANCHIENT HERE!
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    TalonTedd wrote:
    TalonTedd wrote:
    realize in your instrument a flash of light
    spellbound strings lyrical seer of sight
    beat deep skin of the captive melodious heart
    clay dances and sings, denizens in joyous part.

    Just had an idea

    Realize in your instrument a shinning light
    spellbound strings lyrical seer insight
    beat deep skin of the captive melodious heart
    clay dances and sings, denizens in joyous part

    Stone and Jeff, a rhythmic duo dynamism to start
    Out of a shadow stomped Mike, fresco fingers painting art
    Matt finales (shores, steadies,settles) a quavered measure, standard bearer drumming treasure
    Eddie surfed to a sea atoll, heroic wave solstice soul

    Tropical shores twittering Boom, terra incognita to explore and layer
    Una lacrima cadde nel Cornice. Angelic keys played with prayer;;or;;A tear fell in Cornice. Angelic keys, stoic prayer.
    Follow the enlightened faithful, witness the eternal echoes of this Homeric band

    Lachrymose gaze the Gods. A procession of ages will pass until another Pearl Jam.

    WOW F'N YEAH. I'M GETTING ANCHIENT HERE!

    A first draft of an ode revised

    Realize in your instrument a shinning light
    Spellbound strings lyrical seer insight
    beat deep skin of the captive melodious heart
    clay dances and sings, denizens in joyous part

    Stone and Jeff, rhythmic dual dynamism to start
    Out of a Shadow stomped Mike, fresco fingers forming art
    Matt finales a quavered measure. Standard bearer drumming treasure
    Eddie surfed to sea atoll. heroic wave, solstice soul.

    Tropical shores twittering Boom, terra incognita to layer
    Una lacrima cadde nel Cornice. Angelic keys stoic prayer
    follow enlightened Faithful. Witness the eternal echoes of this Homeric Band
    For lachrymose gaze the gods; A procession of ages shall pass, none will Rival Pearl Jam.

    I feel so satisfied. Thanks for the feelings PJ...yours, mine, et al.
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    Revised 2

    Realize in your instrument a brilliant (Binaural brilliant light.) shinning light.
    Spellbound strings, lyrical seer in sight.
    Beat deep skin to the captive melodious heart.
    Waves of clay dance and sing. Denizens in joyous part.

    (Rolling) Stone (Olympic) Jeff, rhythmic dual dynamism at the start.
    Out from a Shadow stomped Mike. Fresco fingers conjuring Art.
    (A-la Garden), Matt finales a quavered measure. Standard bearer drumming treasure.
    Leap for fait, Eddie surfs along Sea atoll. Heroic wave solstice soul.

    Tropical shores twittering Boom. Terra incognita to layer.
    Una lacrema cadde nel Cornice. Angelic keys stoic prayer.
    Follow enlightened Faithful. Witness eternal echoes of Homers playing band.
    For lachrymose gave the gods. A procession of ages shall pass, none to Rival Pearl Jam.

    I feel really good about this poem and that It's almost finished. I want to extol all that I can without being to overbearing. The nice thing about that problem is that there is a lot that can be said about PJ, Band lore and Man lore.
    I like the themes of earth, water and cosmos; All well represented in the songs. The light as well .
    With "Waves of Clay" I want to represent the fans and "moving" heaven and earth with music.
    How do I keep and revere the story of Jeff and Stone as the "dynamic duo" yet give them their individuality? and not literally say Dynamic Duo....yet say it...they are comic book heroes. Wonder if "dual" does that enough. I would definitely field any ideas with them.
    Matt, Dirty from the Garden? Plucked from the Garden? Harvested Garden? I like quavered measure for the 4 drummers and the musical lingo.
    Harvested Garden, Matt finales a quavered measure. Standard ....
    ....A lot can be said for ED...I recently watched a video of Alive from what must have been a show in their first year, it was vital. Ed is standing on a ledge, looking down 15 20 feet to the crowd. He's gonna jump. Didn't come this far not to. He looks into the faces of his fait...and all doubt and fear disappear. Then, just as he accepts. Looking into his eyes, I think I saw...Glory....After watching that how can I possibly not mention his legendary leaps! I'm asking?
    I recently saw the Band in London and Buffalo. GA in Buf, first time . Tha'ts where I came up with Waves of Clay. Friends, being up close, felt like approaching the shore line from a long voyage. I love watching the vids on U-tube, brings it all back. Someone got a great one of "Sirens".
    Binaural brilliant light...starting to like that. "Instrument" is the music, and I've already broken the ice twice with the words "Faithful and Rival" as reference to some songs, why not an LP. Plus transforming light to sound, magical.
    Realize in your instrument a Binaural brilliant light.
    Please...Jeff and Stone, Stone and Jeff. Ament brother of a Rolling Stone. Blood brothers. Jeff draws blood from Stone...maybe
    Jeff bleeds a hot (carved, volcanic, polished, Stone.
    Jeff bleeds a polished Stone. rhythmic dual....that sounds rock and roll. bleeds, reflects, reflects....Jeff reflects a polished Stone, Jeff reflects to a polished Stone. That binds a rhythm section well. They have to be together! God wills' it...just kidding...line from the movie "Kingdom of Heaven".
    I'm gonna let this all bake in my noodle for a while.
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    some fresh ideas:

    Jeff reflects a polished Stone.
    Jeff and Stone lay to rest a broken Bone.
    Lay to rest a broken (severed, split, mothers',
    Cast of doubt, broken Bone.
    (Risen,mended)From ash and Bone rekindle (arise, unite, battle cry, harken,) Jeff and Stone
    broken Bone, casted in doubt.

    out from a
    Clad in his (Laden,electric,metal) Shadow stomped Mike. Fresco fingers conjuring (forming) art.

    Harvested Garden, Matt finales a quavered measure. Standard bearer drumming (hammering, forging) treasure.

    Leap for Fait! Eddie surfs along (among) Sea Atolls. Heroic Wave, Solstice Soul.

    realize in your instrument a binaural brilliant light.
    spellbound strings, lyrical seer in sight.
    beat deep skin to the captive melodious heart
    waves of clay dance and sing, denizens in joyous part

    broken bone, casted in doubt Jeff and Stone. Reanimated rhythmic dual, embark an infinite(destined, dynamic, cosmic...) start.
    Clad in his metallic shadow, Mike stomps five nine twine. Fresco figures forming (conjuring) art.
    Harvested garden, Matt finales a quavered measure. Standard bearer drumming treasure.
    Leap for fait, Eddie surfs among sea atolls. Heroic wave, solstice soul.

    tropical shores twittering Boom. terra incognita to layer
    una la crema cadde nel cornice; Angelic keys stoic prayer
    follow enlightened faithful. witness eternal echoes of Homers playing band.
    for lachrymose gaze the gods. a procession of age shall pass, none, rival Pearl Jam.

    Almost there!......

    Nov 2

    Realize in your instrument
    Binaural
    brilliant light
    spellbound strings
    lyrical seer in
    sight
    Beat deep skin
    captive melodious heart
    waves of clay dance
    sing
    denizens in joyous part

    broken Bone
    casted in doubt
    Jeff and Stone reanimated
    rhythmic dual
    embark an infinite start

    Out of a metallic Shadow
    stomps McCready
    tauten five nine twine
    fresco fingers conjuring art

    Harvested Garden
    Matt finales a quavered measure
    standard bearer
    drumming treasure

    Leap for fait
    Eddie
    surfs amongst Sea Atolls
    heroic wave
    solstice soul

    Tropical shores twittering Boom
    terra incognita to layer
    Una la crima cadde nel Cornice
    angelic keys stoic prayer

    Follow enlightened
    Faithful
    witness eternal echoes
    Homers playing band
    lachrymose gaze
    gods
    A procession of ages pass
    none too
    Rival
    Pearl Jam

    I wonder if this is a better approach?
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    I'm starting to understand that this endeavor means an awful lot to me. Its been a real enjoyable journey to work on this poem; Listening to the music, watching the shows and a bit of research. I've felt so much pleasure over the years listening to PJ's music that I want to give something back in kind. Even a little thing like this.
    As I've said before writing poetry is something I have not done in a long time. So, I need to do some research to its different structures so I can finalize my ode. I like the ideas and themes. It is the presentation that is vexing. For instance if words rhyme from one verse to the next do I need to keep that continuity throughout.

    Embark an infinite start,, attaches to ,,fresco fingers conjuring art

    What about within a verse:
    Out of a metallic shadow stomps McCready
    tauten five nine, flesh and twine
    fresco fingers conjuring art.

    There doesn't seem to be any continuity with the rest of the poem in terms of rhyming from this verse. All other verses flow neatly within themselves somewhat.

    If only Mike's name were Bart!

    And when I look to some of the poems in this Forum. I find little help. haven't seen an ode. So many of them have no rhymes at all. I guess it just goes to show my inexperience...that's ok, I love doing new things. I'll write it again and see what I can find out about structure and specifically odes.

    Realize in your instrument a Binaural brilliant light.
    Spellbound strings, lyrical seer in sight.
    Beat Deep skin to the captive melodious heart.
    Waves of clay dance and sing, denizens in joyous part.

    Broken Bone, casted in doubt.
    Jeff and Stone reanimated, rhythmic dual.
    Embark the infinite start.

    Out of a metallic Shadow, stomps McCready.
    Tauten five nine, flesh and twine.
    Fresco fingers conjuring art.

    Harvested Garden.
    Matt finales a quavered measure.
    Standard bearer drumming treasure.

    Leap for fait, Eddie!....
    surfs among Sea Atolls.
    Heroic wave, solstice soul.

    Tropical shores twittering Boom; Terra incognita to layer.
    Una la crima cadde nel Cornice.
    Angelic Keys, stoic prayer.

    Follow enlightened Faithful.
    Witness eternal echoes of Homers playing band.
    For lachrymose gaze the gods.
    A procession of ages shall pass; None, Rival Pearl Jam.

    This is what I would like to say is my ode. Perhaps I'm being to picky on this thing. I've said what feels right to me. A lot more could be said, but someone else can do that...I wish I could take a ride with that dude in 'Severed Hand" right now. I could really use three or four! I want to cry havoc and let slip the hound!

    An hour later!

    Thank you Wikipedia.
    Homer, Keats....I couldn't shine their sandals. However, I am on to something of my own and when the "Odyssey" has some 12000 lines and Keats' assertion on truth and beauty is trashed by the all knowing contemporaries; I feel like I have some space to work with. You know I always had some idea of the weight being put into this poem linking Homer. Also thought it was kind of clever because "The Simpsons" spans the time of PJ, doe! Got me thinking of a slight change

    Broken Bone, casted in doubt
    Jeff and Stone reanimated rhythmic dual
    Embark the untold odyssey (start)

    Tauten five nine, flesh and twine
    Out of a metallic shadow stomps McCready
    Fresco fingers conjuring art

    I'm just liking odyssey linking with McCready not to mention Homer. Is each section a stanza or a verse? Its late.
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • rollingsrollings unknownPosts: 6,775
    most poems don't rhyme.

    I mean, they can, but you're really locking yourself unnecessarily
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,304
    Talon Tedd, when I first started trying to write poems, I tried to make them rhyme too. I probably did that for a few years even!

    Maybe it's a good way to start out?
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    edited November 2013
    Thank you rollings and justam for your advice. I appreciate it a lot. I have been reading some of your works and they are really great. To a novice like myself they seem really mature and considered. Have to say I am really enjoying this poetic exercise, its taking me to different places and I love where my poem takes my mind as I try and finish it. Do you two have many poems that seem hard to finish? I wonder if its because this poem is about real people that so many others care about and I worry what they may think of it or worse do I have facts wrong....I'm not going to worry about that. I feel close to complete and really good about this poem and the process. The words rhyming would be nice but when I look at other works it seems that the poets feelings being expressed (clearly and/or mystically, etc.) are what really makes a good poem. Again, thanks for your comments they made me feel good.

    PS I would like ask either of you a few in-depth questions and your opinions if you would do me the honor. I think some feedback from good poets like you would really help me get to an end. If not, that's ok to. :)
    Post edited by TalonTedd on
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    some new ideas

    I feel like its really only the stanzas containing Stone, Jeff Matt and Mike that I want to make further amendments.

    Strangely I feel a little trepidation about doing more in the ED stanza

    Broken Bone, casted in doubt.
    Jeff and Stone, reanimated rhythmic dual.
    scribing tablets to an untold odyssey.

    Tauten five nine, flesh and twine
    Out of a metallic Shadow stomps McCready.
    Fresco fingers conjuring art.

    Tendrils still fresh from a harvested Garden.
    Matt finales a quavered measure,
    standard bearer drumming treasure.

    Leap for fait, Eddie!.....
    ...surfs among Sea Atolls
    Heroic wave, solstice soul.
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,304
    Talon Tedd, I don't think I'm qualified to give you advice about writing (since I only do it as a hobby) but you're welcome to my opinions any time! :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    Great, would you feel comfortable if we talked about things right here. I am looking for your real opinions and I can take the truth if you don't like something. besides, I have been spilling my mind all over this post from the outset, It only feels right to keep that process going.

    I feel ready to say that this is the first verse:

    Realize in your instrument, binaural brilliant light.
    spell-bound strings, lyrical seer in sight.
    Beat Deep skin to the captive melodious heart
    Waves of clay dance and sing, denizens in joyous part.

    Tell me what you think, ask me anything you like
    And justam....thank you. you really have substance.
    Got to go for the night. check in tomorrow.
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • rollingsrollings unknownPosts: 6,775
    TalonTedd wrote:
    Thank you rollings and justam for your advice.

    ... it seems that the poets feelings being expressed (clearly and/or mystically, etc.) are what really makes a good poem.

    You're welcome, and I agree with you here, especially the mystically part.

    with regards to the clearly part, personally, I prefer poems that aren't so clear and concise. Most types of writing require clarity & precision of thoughts and wording. Poetry's where you get to bust that open. :mrgreen:
  • rollingsrollings unknownPosts: 6,775
    TalonTedd wrote:
    some new ideas

    I feel like its really only the stanzas containing Stone, Jeff Matt and Mike that I want to make further amendments.

    Strangely I feel a little trepidation about doing more in the ED stanza

    Broken Bone, casted in doubt.
    Jeff and Stone, reanimated rhythmic dual.
    scribing tablets to an untold odyssey.

    Tauten five nine, flesh and twine
    Out of a metallic Shadow stomps McCready.
    Fresco fingers conjuring art.

    Tendrils still fresh from a harvested Garden.
    Matt finales a quavered measure,
    standard bearer drumming treasure.

    Leap for fait, Eddie!.....
    ...surfs among Sea Atolls
    Heroic wave, solstice soul.

    I think your poem being recited by a good emphatic speaker (you?) would sound real cool
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,304
    TalonTedd wrote:
    Great, would you feel comfortable if we talked about things right here. I am looking for your real opinions and I can take the truth if you don't like something. besides, I have been spilling my mind all over this post from the outset, It only feels right to keep that process going.

    I feel ready to say that this is the first verse:

    Realize in your instrument, binaural brilliant light.
    spell-bound strings, lyrical seer in sight.
    Beat Deep skin to the captive melodious heart
    Waves of clay dance and sing, denizens in joyous part.


    Tell me what you think, ask me anything you like
    And justam....thank you. you really have substance.
    Got to go for the night. check in tomorrow.

    This seems like a good first verse to me.
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    Thank you both again for your insights. I am short of time again tonight but there are some important ideas and devices being used and I would love to hear your comments about them.

    I have been Capitalizing any word that has to do with a song title or a band name and even Cornice from that great film. I don't want to anymore. As much as I want to give credit to those "creations" and how they gave me an insight or big meaning to a band member(s) I would rather hide them within the poem. If I were to keep any of them capitalized, they would be Cornice, Garden(sound), Bone(Mother Love) and finally Shadow. But I want to hide them too. I like what you have to say on mysticism Rollins and I think that would serve this ode well, its a theme after all. What do you think? Cap or not to Cap, that is the ?

    One more thing

    If you have reviewed my notes, Jeff and Stone have given me the most grief...but I'm close now.
    This weekend (a busy one for me) I'm gonna put some versus down and what the inspirations are for them and how they tie things together. I'd love your opinions...I hope you guys choose the one I'm leaning with. Thank you both so much. Its late and the boys need their bath. Goodnight. ;)
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    edited November 2013
    rollings wrote:
    TalonTedd wrote:
    some new ideas

    I feel like its really only the stanzas containing Stone, Jeff Matt and Mike that I want to make further amendments.

    Strangely I feel a little trepidation about doing more in the ED stanza

    Broken Bone, casted in doubt.
    Jeff and Stone, reanimated rhythmic dual.
    scribing tablets to an untold odyssey.

    Tauten five nine, flesh and twine
    Out of a metallic Shadow stomps McCready.
    Fresco fingers conjuring art.

    Tendrils still fresh from a harvested Garden.
    Matt finales a quavered measure,
    standard bearer drumming treasure.

    Leap for fait, Eddie!.....
    ...surfs among Sea Atolls
    Heroic wave, solstice soul.

    I think your poem being recited by a good emphatic speaker (you?) would sound real cool


    Thanks for the comp. I would proudly jump on a bar top and recite this puppy for all to hear.


    As I said this is real close to complete. Its amazing how many directions ideas and themes can be taken.

    Broken bone, casted in doubt//////////////// Broken bone casted in doubt
    Jeff and Stone, reanimated rhythmic dual///// Jeff and Stone reanimated rhythmic dual
    Blotting lively tabs to an untold odyssey.////// Dropping lively tabs that embark the infinite start.

    This is really my one last dilema. I like them both. ending in Odyssey helps to tie the next verse with Mccready. It enhances the use of Homer and his great legacy. The whole line just feels rock and roll, drugs, so on. Not to say that Jeff and Stone are doing drugs, I wouldn't know about that at all! But drop a tab, go on a mind odyssey, that sort of idea. While blotting lively tabs gives credit to the musical scores that made the bands first songs (big hits).

    "Embark the infinite start" is meant to have a dual meaning, Everything they and others do to try and have "success" in music and the amazing presence PJ has become. Some of the greatest music ever. I think this is it.



    Tauten five nine, flesh and twine///////////// Tauten five nine, flesh amplifying twine
    Out of a metallic shadow stomps Mccready///// Out....
    Fresco fingers conjuring electric art/////////// Fresco fingers forming electric art.

    Tendrils fresh from a harvested garden///// Tendrils growing fresh of a harvested garden.
    Matt finales a quavered measure////////// Matt..
    standard bearer drumming treasure/////// Stand....


    Matt has a special place in PJ lore. He was the man that passed the demo tape down the road for Ed. Had amazing success with Sound Garden. Fait eventually placed him with PJ. Quite a story there. Fresh Tendrils is a great song off of SuperUnknown. I was led to it while mulling over "harvested garden". Turns out Matt wrote that one with Chris Cornell. I loved how Chris had a big part in PJ20. HG. is meant to only say that SG ended and Matt joined PJ. Get Right.

    cont.

    I needed a break so I read most of the poems on page one of this forum. So good. one in particular, "The Rain Song" by Godfather...that was good. I hope I'll come up with something a little more personal to me, after I've completed this ode. PJ is a great inspiration but the truth is its a story that has been told and I'm just doing my little take on it. Its a start.

    04:30 Nov 19
    Its amazing how exhaustion veneered with a mild depression can be helpful with a creative process. I think my eureka moment came to me yesterday. So I'll post the probable finished poem after a few more words for my
    notes. I haven't had a day off from work since the PJ show in Buffalo Oct 12. Other than spending time with my wife and boys, watch a few periods of hockey here and there and AMC Walking Dead (love that show). This poem has been my release, my vent.
    The last twelve months I have been on a serious PJ binge. In that time frame I've heard or watched these titles for the first time: LP's Pearl Jam, Backspacer, Lightning Bolt, Dvds, PJ20, Imagine in Cornice, Live at the showbox, Water on the road, Into the Wild, a myriad of you tube, the interviews with Jude Apatow and friends and just recently received the Ames bothers book (the Halloween shirt was sans delivery however) also loaded a short book from the playstore, Pj secret history by A. Cross. So after such a thick and heavy slathering, it makes perfect sense to me. I had to work on this poem and I'm really glad I did it.
    There were some really tough parts to get through. The themes one is trying to express and how it is presented can be very hard to accomplish. I have a new respect. I even put an SOS out there and a couple of members came to the call, and that speaks volumes about their character and goodwill. I've come to realize that poetry is an exercise in feelings. there is no right and wrong they just are. Expressing them in words is the complication, and it always has been a complicated thing. that is why we love great song writers and poets.

    This is probably it, I'm going to let it cool for a little while and if it feels right I'll post it at the front of page one so anyone who would like to read it in the future doesn't have to sift through all this insanity to find it. If you like it let me know.
    Post edited by TalonTedd on
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    edited November 2013
    An ode to Pearl Jam

    Realize in your instrument binaural brilliant light.
    Spell-bound strings, lyrical seer in sight.
    Beat deep skin to the captive melodious heart.
    Waves of clay dance and sing, denizens in joyous part.

    Broken bone, casted in doubt.
    Jeff and Stone reanimated, rhythmic dual.
    Dropping lively tabs that embark the infinite start.

    Tauten five nine, flesh amplifies twine.
    Out of the metallic shadow stomps McCready.
    Fresco fingers conjuring electric art.

    Tendrils growing fresh of a harvested garden.
    Matt finales a quavered measure.
    Standard bearer drumming treasure.

    Leap for fait, Eddie!.....
    Surfs among Sea Atolls.
    Heroic wave, solstice soul.

    Tropical shores twittering Boom! Terra incognita to layer.
    Una lacrima cadde nel Cornicione.
    Angelic keys, stoic prayer.

    Follow enlightened faithful.
    Witness eternal echoes of Homers portentous band.
    For lachrymose gaze the gods.
    A procession of ages shall pass, none rival Pearl Jam.



    TalonTedd
    Post edited by TalonTedd on
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • AafkeAafke Posts: 1,213
    I like your poem!
    Waves_zps6b028461.jpg
    "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed".- Carl Jung.
    "Art does not reproduce what we see; rather, it makes us see."- Paul Klee
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    Aafke wrote:
    I like your poem!

    Thank you Aafke. :D
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    Well I'm mulling the Eddie verse....Hope I don't maul.
    Trepidation be damned!

    Its the shortest verse by word count. Short and sweet? Concise?
    My feelings for the words are strong. I don't think I want to change the theme(s) at all.

    Leap for fait, Eddie!....
    All those reckless leaps, monkey barring all over the stage. Giving out all that energy and meaning. Ready to die for his truths and beliefs, so admirable, so heroic. Remember in PJ20 when Stone was talking about those events and he said about EV maybe falling to his death "well it would have been a lot more than I could of handled". the look on Stone's face, memorable. The (!....) gives pause for me and all the faithful to reflect on EV and what he means for us, integrity for one. You know he and my older brother have the same spirit. No comprises on their morals. Love you Bro!
    Does he leap for his fait or all of ours?
    Leap for (human, our, your) fait, Eddie!....

    Surfs among Sea Atolls
    This line pays a homage to the whole Seattle scene. Wow, I hope you sea atolls realize what a gift you got back in the day and what still has life today. If the Rock and Roll hall of fame ever moves it should go to Seattle in my view...what an era! When I listen to songs like comatose, indifference, bush leaguer etc. it gives light on the "front Mans" responsibilities and endless pressures, especially all the frenzied fans....I'd take residence on a far off island too. Frenzied...feeding, needing, wanting. I think this line puts Ed where he wants to be yet it has its pitfalls, mysteries and vicissitudes, amongst the waves.

    Surfs amongst frenzied (manic, delirious, wanting, volcanic, erupting, restless, passionate) sea atolls.

    Heroic wave, solstice soul.
    Driving home from the show in Buffalo, my wife goggled Ed. She was interested in seeing pictures of his family life. that was her first PJ adventure, she hasn't stopped listening since. She told me his B-day is Dec. 23, right during the winter solstice. How fitting, seemingly. "Can't know what is high, until you've been down so low".

    (on second thought)

    Anyways back to the work.
    Heroic (colossal, towering, vast) wave, (solicitous, soluble, sol-fa, solemn, enterprising, explicit)solstice soul

    Leap for fait, Eddie!....
    Surfs among manic sea Atolls
    Vast heroic wave, explicit solstice soul.

    Leap for fait, E...
    Surfs among passionate sea atolls
    Heroic wave, solicitous solstice soul.

    Leap...
    Surfs among restless sea atolls
    A vast heroic wave, cradles the explicit solstice soul. maybe!

    Heroic wave solstice soul really embodies EV for me. I want to be careful with this. I need to recite this a few times. rollins gave me the idea that this poem needs to be recited with emphasis over just being read. I believe he is completely right.

    Leap for fait, Eddie!....
    surfs among restless Sea atolls.
    A vast heroic wave, cradles the explicit solstice soul.

    to be cont.
    Nov 22

    Soon after writing in this post I went for a ride to do some errands(no friend, didn't think to ask his help). I was reflecting on the changes and my thoughts began to reveal images of my wife and our marriage. She is my greatest experience in life. From our whirlwind romance, marriage, our two boys and All the life these blessings have given me. I am so deeply grateful for you...Mrs. Tedd. I love you. I believe your energy played a hand in my choice of the word" cradles".

    You know they say it kind of frightening
    how this younger generation swings
    ya know it more than just some new sensation.
    yeah the kid is into loosing sleep and he don't come home
    for half the week
    you know its more than just an aggravation, wow
    and the cradle.......


    I'm really happy with the way this verse sounds now.

    Leap for fait, Eddie!....
    Surfs among restless Sea Atolls.
    A vast heroic wave, cradles the explicit solstice soul.

    I need to take a last look at Boom Gaspar! He is the biggest mystery. The Love boat Captain. First met him (so to speak) watching "Imagine in Cornice". I hope my verse for him would make him happy. My feeling is he has a magic. He must to find his way on to PJ. Probably some real talent there too. Boom!

    Pretty sure i'll be posting tomorrow November 23. Twenty-three has been my favorite number since high school.
    Nov 23

    Realize in your instrument binaural brilliant light.
    Spell-bound strings, lyrical seer in sight.
    Beat deep skin too the captive melodious heart.
    Waves of clay dance and sing; Denizens in joyous part.

    Broken bone, casted in doubt.
    Jeff and Stone reanimated, rhythmic dual.
    Dropping lively tabs, embark the infinite start.

    Tauten five nine, flesh amplifying twine.
    Out of a metallic shadow stomps McCready.
    Fresco fingers conjuring electric art.

    Tendrils growing fresh of a harvested garden.
    Matt finales a quavered measure.
    Standard bearer, drumming treasure.

    Leap for fait, Eddie!.....
    Surfs among restless Sea Atolls.
    A vast heroic wave, cradles the explicit solstice soul.

    Tropical shores twittering Boom! Terra incognita to layer.
    Una lacrema cadde nel Cornicione.
    Angelic keys ripple stoic prayer.

    Follow enlightened faithful.
    Witness eternal echoes of Homers portentous band.
    For lachrymose gaze the gods.
    A procession of ages shall pass, none rival Pearl Jam!


    The first snow of the season is blowing in Caledon today
    the winter solstice makes its way.....
    Yes the cradle, the cradle will rock
    oh the cradle, the cradle will rock
    WELL I SAY ROCK ON, OH.
    YEAH ROCK ON
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • rollingsrollings unknownPosts: 6,775
    (I wrote this about the band after pj20)

    oh, across the music
    that band is emitting
    one constant always shows up
    the singularity
    the answer is the way they hit it
    the way they put out
    sounds
    their place
    and non-placement
    the scale of it when bass meets drums making DNA strands out of themselves
    laced with guitar
    and all that Vedder says
    just right loud able to go through you--skin and graft and bone
    blows through you like water
    exits through your spine back
    so, yes, sweat
    yes, head
    strength from exhaustion because there were so many inclines and declines at alpine with legs dancing up and down them all night long

    mosquito red washed, rinsed, released
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    rollings wrote:
    (I wrote this about the band after pj20)

    oh, across the music
    that band is emitting
    one constant always shows up
    the singularity
    the answer is the way they hit it
    the way they put out
    sounds
    their place
    and non-placement
    the scale of it when bass meets drums making DNA strands out of themselves
    laced with guitar
    and all that Vedder says
    just right loud able to go through you--skin and graft and bone
    blows through you like water
    exits through your spine back
    so, yes, sweat
    yes, head
    strength from exhaustion because there were so many inclines and declines at alpine with legs dancing up and down them all night long

    mosquito red washed, rinsed, released

    Thank you rollins for posting your poem about the band. It does me a great honor to have you share this here. I was hoping you'd be the first to share a vision. I love it. When I read it I can see a collage of stills, yet they are moving slowly, speaking to me without a word. A message that says this is for you...and I reach for it.
    Thanks again, its great!
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • donnaruhldonnaruhl Posts: 2,151
    Here's mine.Took me awhile.I had to write it down first.
    And thank you for asking.

    I didn't expect you to be there
    But there you were
    The one in the window with the camera
    Was that really him? "said to myself"
    Pretty sure he just took my picture

    Right then,My place in the sun had a smile
    I couldn't believe my eye's
    Was this dumb luck or fate?

    So afraid my chance up front was taken
    So many people patiently waiting
    Waiting for Eye Candy Close.

    Lines were fractured.Time stood still,
    As people passed me by,
    Twenty,Then Forty,Then Sixty
    This can't be happening
    Why is this happening to me?

    I'm In! Where's the bathroom?
    No,No! Get your spot,Then Go!
    I'm not that far away after all.
    I didn't need these Binoculars

    My place in the sun was still shining
    Long after the "Yellow Moon" rose
    It was better than I could imagine
    In your view,I was Eye Candy Close

    I didn't get the rail or the wine
    Or the Tambourine,that you tried to give me.
    I've got one better,A night to remember
    And remember you, Eye Candy Close
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    donnaruhl wrote:
    Here's mine.Took me awhile.I had to write it down first.
    And thank you for asking.

    I didn't expect you to be there
    But there you were
    The one in the window with the camera
    Was that really him? "said to myself"
    Pretty sure he just took my picture

    Right then,My place in the sun had a smile
    I couldn't believe my eye's
    Was this dumb luck or fate?

    So afraid my chance up front was taken
    So many people patiently waiting
    Waiting for Eye Candy Close.

    Lines were fractured.Time stood still,
    As people passed me by,
    Twenty,Then Forty,Then Sixty
    This can't be happening
    Why is this happening to me?

    I'm In! Where's the bathroom?
    No,No! Get your spot,Then Go!
    I'm not that far away after all.
    I didn't need these Binoculars

    My place in the sun was still shining
    Long after the "Yellow Moon" rose
    It was better than I could imagine
    In your view,I was Eye Candy Close

    I didn't get the rail or the wine
    Or the Tambourine,that you tried to give me.
    I've got one better,A night to remember
    And remember you, Eye Candy Close


    Thank you so much donnaruhl for accepting my request to post your poem in my little scrap book.

    There is so much I like about this poem. Starting with her great line "Eye candy close". a sensual little ditty that really captures the desire to get in tight with the band. As the poem starts, You can really feel her anticipation rising as the concert start closes in. We all get that feeling of anticipation when the hour draws near. sometimes it is every bit as enjoyable as a show itself, a feeling to savor. ;)
    But as we all know reality rarely lives up to imagination. Don't we all submit as Donna did to the sweet surrender of what was; and the happy memories that will be relived for as long as can be remembered. "My place in the sun was still shining long after the yellow moon rose". Really nice donnaruhl 8-) , I can really relate to this. Thanks again.
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    edited January 2014
    The Teleportation of Ms. Dickweed
    By: mysticweed

    the stars were within reach a mere foothill of heads in the span
    the scene was effervescent the mood was fluorescent with unthoughts clutched in each hand
    lightning bolts of percussion and bass and
    drop the leash right in my face and
    I know nothing will ever replace
    that feeling’s still reeling fired up and wired up to the ceiling
    I would have been so fucking lost without you you know in more ways than the obvious one
    it was because of you that I was able to
    blaze out on the rays of the sun
    and through some subconscious deed
    I was released from the need to need
    and in a precise and pristine moment - finally
    I heard the sirens

    Thanks again mysticweed for allowing me to add your prose to my collection. And if I can figure it out I'll add your pic.

    I gotta say this one is my favorite so far. I love how the pace of it just builds and builds, until finally the sirens wail. No time to rest (or breath) when it comes together and feels perfect.

    "and through some subconscious deed I was released from the need to need"

    This one really hits home. No longer need to search for a favorite band, no longer need to find an example of rock and roll integrity and comradeship in this era. I have all I need now. I can move on in life with a sound and songwriter I can truly be grateful for; there were others, but they were made to be more than they really were or they just couldn't keep it together. And of the subconscious; I love how my two young boys begin their lives with a full dose of PJ nicely filled away deep in thiers'. It can only help them to understand and traverse this world of ups and downs and people looking to put you on the ground and that when friends are found they pick you up even if you slipped on and are slathered in shit...just don't make it a habit.

    Can't get over the flow of this piece. seamless, breathtaking. Just rolls right off the tongue...try it, read it out loud...take a deep breath first, you'll need it.

    "drop the leash right in my face"....mystic...I wanna hook up, get all fucked up, and trip around the streets of the city with you...see what else you have too say. You got a great attitude! Look me up when you find your ass in T.O....I'll bring the grass. :D

    fs5s_zps7384737f.jpg
    Post edited by TalonTedd on
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    edited January 2014
    Well, PJ has dropped the leash...its contest time! the boys want an original work with lightning as the central theme. I read this in Deep mag, just got it two days ago...13 days to contest close. Ah yes, the 10C's distribution network is infamous. Oh well, as I have said before I like a challenge! But its late and I gotta work early in the mourn so I'll just file this little note in my night cap and sleep on it. The first time I ever caught lightning in a bottle was when I set eyes on her for the first time, so she may have to be the focus...but I have one or two other ideas.

    I also just asked Aafke to submit something. She really is a good artist. I hope she throws her brush in the ring.

    01/18/14 @ 23:17

    As I did before, so shall I do again...only incognito until after the thirty one...Tribocharge it!
    Post edited by TalonTedd on
    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
  • TalonTeddTalonTedd TorontoPosts: 803
    <I've been doing an upgrade course. they asked me to write a one page speech about a person or entity that I admire........guess who got the ink.

    “Realize in your instrument binaural brilliant light.
    Spell-bound strings, lyrical seer in sight.
    Beat deep skin to the captive melodious heart.
    Waves of clay dance and sing; denizens in joyous part.”

    Have you ever been so moved by a person or group of people that you had to write poetry about them. I have and I just had to write an epic poem about the most inspiring musical group it has been my complete honor to be counted as one of their die-hard fans. That band is Pearl Jam and their lead singer and explicit solstice soul, Eddie Vedder. The poetic stanza I just read opens the ode I wrote to the band. The ode is called “Can You Feel It”. It was my way of expressing the adoration and exhilaration I feel about the band, music, Eddie and their history. I have come to regard Pearl Jam’s members, Eddie, Stone, Jeff, Matt, Mike and Boom as role models. Over the band’s more than twenty years together, they have delivered electrifying and meaningful songs, confronted corporate greed and spearheaded relentless political activism.
    Stone Gossard, a guitarist and president of Pearl Jam recently said in an interview that “Eddie is the spiritual leader of Pearl Jam”. Fans of the band, in there millions worldwide, would completely agree with that statement. His spirit first exploded into pop-culture with perhaps the bands biggest hit, Alive. Alive is a dark and disturbing story of family lies, abuse and an adolescent Eddie Vedder losing his father, whose existence was concealed, until it was too late. For Eddie to take the stage, night after night in the bands’ infancy and tell his most emotionally hurtful secrets for fans to dance and sing to in erupting joy; well that takes a lot of courage. Apparently Eddie would leave the stage in tears many nights.
    As time passed and hit records piled, Eddie’s exceptional skill for writing lyrics and music grew like the proverbial tree of knowledge; firmly rooted in the soil of the bands friendship and talents. Music was not Pearl Jam’s only business. They took a stand against the corporate gold diggers that Ticket Master has deformed into. The band’s fight against exorbitant surcharges on concert tickets landed them on Capitol Hill in Washington D.C. and a front row seat for Jeff Ament and Stone Gossard in a Senate sub-committee hearing. Then the Bush Administration’s darkness befell the land. Eddie and the band waged relentless peaceful political activism against those evil doers. Their song about George W Bush titled Bu$hleager, nearly got them lynched in Texas one night!
    All the activism and integrity aside, it’s the music that really grips me. Black, Alive, Yellow Ledbetter, Sirens and Even Flow are just some of the songs an entire arena full of faithful fans will sing along too. I wrote my ode to PJ after having recently attended a show in Buffalo NY; about twenty feet from center stage. Afterwards, in reflection, I finally understood the term, “religious fervor”! Give Pearl Jam a download; watch the feature length documentary PJ20 by Cameron Crowe. PJ20 is the definitive portrait of the band and another one of the mystical notes in PJ’s epic opera that had me writing Homeric poetry of my own. Bravo, to the rock star role models, Eddie Vedder and Pearl Jam!

    In joyous part.



    I remember when, yeah. I swore I knew everything, oh yeah.
Sign In or Register to comment.